Unsent messages to J

I love you. i am completely madly in love with u i mean i’m know ur favorite song and what you want to be when we grow up. i’m jealous when ur with other girls type in love with you

You push me away. I just wanna help. You say things that break me, but still don`t want my help. I just whish there was something I could do. I can`t move on until you are happy, and it`s runing me.

sweetie
To this day I still love you as if it were the first day. I miss you but I don't dare to tell you.

Feels like everything between us is falling out of whack. Maybe it’s because i can’t do a single thing right and you always put him first. Then get pissed off when you’re not first for me? Double standards that i can’t keep up with. I don’t think you understand how much of a toll it puts on me to try and keep us a float. I don’t know how much i have left in me.

i can only fall asleep at night when i imagine your hand is still in mine. please come back. i miss u

Para la persona que me lastimo:

Me lastimaste demasiado, me rompiste de una manera que jamás pensé que me ibas a lastimar. Nunca creí que me ibas a ser infiel, nunca creí que tus promesas eran mentira, pero te estoy superando, aprendí demasiado, pero no era manera de tratarme con mentiras y ocultándome cosas, olvidando que también siento, olvidando que también me equivoco y que todos los días me estaba deconstruyendo y tratando ser mejor persona. Nunca pensé que me ibas a lastimar así, y lo triste es que nunca ibas a voltear hacia mi por que ya te estabas sosteniendo de alguien más, me demostraste que no eras el amor de mi vida y que nunca fui el tuyo, solo me engañaste todo el tiempo y nunca me dijiste la verdad. estaba tan cegada en "nuestro amor" que no me di cuenta que amabas a alguien más, que al terminar ya estabas con esa persona.
gracias por irte y no regresar ya que nunca fui nada para ti.
gracias por romperme por que ahora me valoro a mi misma, un amor propio que no tienes una idea y que mi lealtad y fidelidad y lo que te decía era totalmente genuino
Ojala nunca nos volvamos a ver y a esa persona que tienes le cumplas todas las promesas que haces y no le mientas y ocultes cosas como a mi me lo hacías, pensé que como éramos mejores amigos no me ibas a traicionar y si lo hiciste.
Lo que si se es que voy a salir de esta pero no contigo y aun que me cueste tiempo en que salgas de mi mente saldré de esta, por que estoy viendo que verdaderamente valgo y que no es justo que la relación solo sea de una persona y que una persona cargue con todo.
gracias por hacer esto ya que estoy sanando mis heridas del pasado y me di cuenta que como pude sola en secundaria puedo sola ahorita ya vi que nunca estuviste cuando más te necesite y yo aunque estuviera en tu vida nunca me incluiste.
gracias por que vi que perdí el tiempo con una persona que no me amaba y me necesitaba solo estaba llenando un vacío y utilizo todo lo que era para romperlo más fuerte.
No vuelvas nunca, estoy mejor sin ti por que soy valiente y fuerte y que no necesito a alguien mentiroso en mi vida.
y que ahorita quizá nadie este conmigo como novio y alguien que este a mi lado como tu ya tienes a alguien más, pero llegara alguien a mi vida que me dará todo lo que yo siempre te pedía, todo lo que yo pedía llorando y rogando y no me mentira y me va a amar como se debe.
gracias por irte ya que lo mejor que me pudo haber pasado es estar soltera, hasta nunca y no pediré disculpas de como arreglo las cosas que tu rompiste y no te diste cuenta, que aun terminando mentías y odio a las personas mentirosas, si te amaba, pero ahorita me amo a mi como no tienes una idea.
universo ayudame en algo y no me regreses a este wey en mi vida.

Suerte en tu vida de mentiras y deja de romper cosas que piensas que el único lastimado eres tu y no me lastimaste aun que no te lo dijera, aun que solo me defendiera me lastimaste así que esta es la única razón por la que nunca te quiero en mi vida, por que eras la ultima persona tóxica que se necesitaba ir de mi vida, así que gracias por hacerme el favor.
Es tiempo de que te olvide y aprenda que el amor a medias no existe y las mentiras en una relación, hace que la relación sea de mentira.
adiós deja de mentir
Gracias una disculpa por tanto texto por fin me pude desahogar

I don't know what to say to you anymore. I can't even look at your face. I can't even mention your name because it would hurt me. You and me against the world, that's all I wanted. You don't even have to be my boyfriend. I just want to be beside you, I wanted to get to know you, I wanted to let you know that I care about you and that I love you. I love you so much it scared me. I have never loved anyone as much as I loved you. It's gonna take me a while to recover, I highly doubt I will, but I will remember you. I will never forget the happy days that included you. The blushes, that feeling of being on cloud nine every time you call my name, that anxious feeling every time I go to school because I was so excited to see you, hoping you'd get the same classes as me. Do you remember me? Would you remember me or am I just gonna be a mere memory?... I'll never forget you. Sorry for being like this. I love you. I always will. Oh, how I wish we met at the right time. Think about what we could've been. I love you and I miss you every single day. You never leave my mind. I hope the best for you. I love you and you deserve everything good. Damn it, of course I'm crying while writing this.

Im on facetime with my friends and cant stop thinking about you. They keep asking me whats wrong. You. You're my fucking problem.

Me hubiera gustado saber que hice mal, tus razones, y también como se miente con los ojos, como se hace para convencer a alguien de que le quieres...

I hardly ever stop thinking about you. I don't know why or how you became such a big part of my life. I haven't seen you for more than a month and i have only less than 2 days. It's weird becouse i don't know what's going to happen with my feelings when i see you. Are they real, do i really like you? Or have i just created a unexistant version of you by daydreaming about you, us every fucking day. Why won't you leave my head? I have so many questions and no where to look for answers. I feel like i think about you less and less every day and i don?t know if that is a good thing. I mean i don't really even know you, right? I wonder how i will feel about you after i talk to you, i hope i get the courage to walk up to you in the hallway. Even hi i just say hi and walk away. I always get mad at myself when i think about you too much. YOu once told me that i shouldn't run away from feelings and turn something beautiful in to something bad just becouse i am afraid of being hurt. You were right. Until next time...

thank you for helping me become the person i am. you weren’t meant to be in my life forever, but i’ll always love you regardless.

Thank you for everything and I hope I made you happy while we were together and I hope you'll be happy with whoever you end up with.

I finally told my mom about you and i've never felt more relieved. Thanks for everything but im kinda glad to not have you in my life anymore.

so we just had that conversation on why you don’t say i love you back to me every single day and what hurts the most is that i can’t tell if you are being serious or joking around like you do a lot. i am so so sorry i cant understand you that well, i really do try my best but i cant seem to get anything right and i’m sorry i made you feel that way. you said that was only one of the reason why and i am completely broken thinking about all the stuff i might have done or said that could have hurt you. i am so sorry baby, none of this was intentional. i love you so much and i don’t want to sound creepy but i’d do almost anything to hear i love you back from you. again i am so so so sorry for any of the times i’ve hurt you or made you feel annoyed by me but you are so important to me. i would not be alive if it weren’t for you and it hurts to see the person i’d go to when i get hurt or sad be the cause of sadness now. they do say all good things come to and end but i don’t wanna loose you baby, i cant loose you. if i loose you i’d loose myself as well, there is almost no point in living a life without you. i’m really hoping will all my heart that i’m just overthinking but you have really crushed my heart today. i hope everything goes back to normal how it used to be, just please please tell me and call me out when i fuck things up. i need to know cause i’m an oblivious dense bitch. please tell me and i cannot express how sorry i am. i love you baby, hope you sleep well and goodnight precious

so i guess i was just ur little game? cant believe i believed your lies lol fuck you i wish u the worst

you make me feel like im on top of the world. i love being with you but uncertain around you. your aura is what keeps me and you're too addicting to let go of

You always confused me. I never really understood why you did that to me at the end and why you never acknowledged it. I knew, why'd you think I ignored you for that weekend. I can't really pin my finger on what I really miss about you because to be honest you kinda treated me shitty. But for a while I was your first choice, I was yours. You said the first thing you wanted to do out of quarantine was see me, you told your friends all about me and you called me your girl to people when they brought me up. Why it ended I have no clue but I guess that's why it hurt so much and why I'm probably not still over you.

You loved me like i’ve never been loved before. I’m crushed that you have to leave, but i’ll wait for you forever.

I know we weren’t really in love , but why did you have to hurt me like that so bad as if I meant nothing

hay veces que te recuerdo y me pregunto porqué actuaste de esa forma si lo único que hice fue quererte, pero aun que me duela tengo que dejarte ir

I was reading the messages thinking that I had forgotten about you but I have realized that it is not like that, as much as I hate you for everything you have put me through, I miss you. You have loved me when I did not love myself.

I've been allowing my resentment towards my father be directed towards you. I love you, I was just never shown the correct way to love a man. But, I'm becoming knowledgable about what I need to do to love you correctly, I just hope that you do the same for me.

I still can't listen to Julia Michaels anymore, all her songs bring me back to that night. I miss her music.

I wish you would unfollow those girls who didn’t follow you back, but I know how incredibly in love you are with me so I try not to let it bother me.

please please if anything happens between us. dont hurt me ive been through lots. i cant hurt you without hurting myself. im honestly falling for you over and over again. i just wanna be ✨appriciated✨. i will appretiate you as much as you do for me, it should be a 50/50 thing..

as much as i wanna hate you, i just fucking cant. you treated me like shit,but i still love you somehow,and i hate that i do.you'll always have a place in my heart. i miss you, i miss us, the way things used to be. i just wish you never left. i love you

Man fuck you. I try so hard to keep our friendship alive cause i love you. You always find the smallest thing wrong with what i say and its so exhausting. Please give me a break.

Why did you make me have all these issues? I live with them everyday and can’t even have a happy life with my boyfriend. I don’t understand why you did all those things.

its been a few months since ive heard your voice. i just really miss you and i wish things could go back to the way they used to be :(

You came into my life when I was hurting and felt like the whole world was against me when all I wanted was someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be ok, and you were that person until she came back and you realized she was what you wanted all this time but I never got to ask you why you chose her so fast without even thinking twice. Was i just a girl to fill in till she came back?

The candle you gave me is almost burnt out. I’m scared that once it’s gone, you finally will be too. I just miss you.

just one of those nights i miss your smile, miss your voice, miss your presence and your touch a lil more. just one of those nights i miss you a lil more.

you had my whole heart. all of it. but u fucked it up, i still cant rlly get over you, i tell myself i have but i really havnt. it was good while it lasted but everyone else got to you. thankyou tho. have fun

it’s been two years and five months. we liked each other but nothing happened. life and people got in the way. we don’t talk anymore, but deep down i still love you for some reason.

god im so in love with you. everything about you and what you do is perfect and i hate that you will never like me

i could never put into words the way i feel abt u,i don’t wanna think i like u but every time u bring her up it discomforts me in way i can’t explain.though i could never tell u this now i hope one day u figure it out

i could never make eye contact with anyone without being consumed by anxiety, but somehow when I talked to you all I wanted to do was stare into your eyes

Um hey. It's been exactly to weeks since we last spoke. I remember your message to me "I kinda developed feelings for another girl". And although we weren't dating it kinda hurt,alot. I didnt tell you though. Tbh I cried the whole week, hiding my sadness behind a smile to my friends and also you. I miss you.
We talked about our future together and how you will never like someone as much as you like me, clearly that changed. You guys seem good for each other, and I'm glad you're happy :)
Atleast one of us is.
I loved you, and I probably still do. I think about you alot, and read our old texts. It really broke me cause you were really my first real crush and I did picture a future with you. I'm messed up but no one will know. I've turned to self harm because you ghosted me and idek why I care so much when you dont. It's like what we had meant nothing to you. But then again I should of seen it coming. You told me you liked someone else on my birthday and that ruined my day. I hate my birthday now thanks.
Anyways,you'll never know this stuff cause you'll never see this.

I love you

I never knew being apart would make me realize just how much I need you. I made a mistake.. why cant time be reversable?

heyy J, you may never read this but I wanna tell you sth ... I don’t know what to feel. Your voice is so wonderful... I’m never getting tired of it and your laugh is fcking cute:) u have such a good heart and a indescribable personality

I'll never forget the day when I watched you make bracelets under that tree, that one tree. That was the day I knew it was you. It's been you since then, and I think it will be you forever. I'm so glad we called the other day, it made me love you all over again. I just wish you felt the same. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I hope I find out someday. I deserve to know. I love you, J, I really do.

i enjoyed our conversations. it’s just i was constantly in pain.
i am sorry. i hope you don’t hate me

i get sad when i think of you. but not because i miss you, but because i remember the way you treated me

This time last year we were falling in love. This time last week even we were curled up in my bed. I have so many reasons I shouldn’t want you yet here I am. it just hurts a little bit today.

I really like you and I want to be with you but I’m just not sure if u want it back you always give mixed signals

i still think you're my soulmate, and i think that will never change. i'm still waiting for u and i still am in love with u.

we were each others everything for 4 years, and then you told me on the last day that I meant nothing to you. and then you left forever to the other side of the world.

I think you'd hate me if you knew how many songs I've written about you and how many dreams you've appeared in after all this time, but I still thank them for healing me.

i know we are meant to be even if we can't be with each other right now we are in it for the long run

hey, I really like talking to you. You make me so happy. Thank you for coming into my life I would prob not be here if it wasn't for you.