Unsent messages to J
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 1:33 pm UTC
thank you for changing me as a person. when you left my life it made me find who i really was and now i feel happier than i ever have
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 11:46 am UTC
You’re always in my dreams and it’s always the same thing. I hate how sweet they are like it’s telling me something, but Ik they’re not. Trying not to be delusional
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 10:26 am UTC
im over you kinda but i hate the fact that i still think of you as my first thought when i think of relationships and we never dated at all.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 10:09 am UTC
I miss our late night calls. I miss hearing your laugh and your voice over the phone. I hate that you don't feel the same back anymore, but it's okay. I'll get over you, somehow.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 10:02 am UTC
hey it’s been a while and i miss you , i know i shouldn’t but i do and it sucks that i do because i want to let you go but i can . my family loves and misses you and so do i , i miss the way you smiled at me when i would wake up from a nap , i miss your family . i love seeing you happy and smiling but i know it’s not me who makes you happy anymore , please treat her the way you treated me . i saw you fall out of love with me but for the longest time i didn’t want to say anything because i didn’t want us end . little did i know either way we ended and i always have love for you , you have a special place in my heart and it sucks that i keep holding onto you but a part of me still has hope but i don’t know if there ever will be another chance because you look happier than you were when you were with me . i will always love you the same way i’ve held onto you for so long but you’ve moved on , i’m trying to but nothing i do works because you made me feel different , you made me feel like i was the only girl in the world , you made me feel like no matter what i looked like even if i woke up you still admired me . i haven’t been able to find that love since you left but i’m trying i really am . you seem to be at your happiest and that’s why i keep my distance but i do look back at our messages and our pictures because in the end as much as i wanna let you go i know i can’t . you said it was a right person wrong timing and i’m waiting for our times to come but as if right now i am always here for you and i always have and always will love you no matter what . thank you for everything for the tears , the love , the hope , and thank you for for time . i love you forever j
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 9:54 am UTC
you left and its so hard to do this without you. i knew how painful it would be when you left but i couldn't let go. i love you so rest easy.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 9:32 am UTC
I never told you but you always had the most charming smile, I always wished you’d smile like that when looking into my eyes.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 9:11 am UTC
you hurt me a lot but i will always run back to you. you will always have my heart no matter what happened to us :/
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 8:59 am UTC
you said something that made me think you were different yet you still did everything to make sure you weren’t
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 8:53 am UTC
I’ll never fully admit to how much I love you cause I’d hate to ruin our friendship but I’m certain at this point that I’m in love with you but sadly I’ll never have the courage to actually tell you.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 8:14 am UTC
I really hope you don't actually like me because I don't feel the same way but I don't want to hurt you
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:46 am UTC
Yeah I miss u but at the end of the day ik we won't work and it just won't happen so why keep waiting :/
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:19 am UTC
why couldnt u just work it out w me instead of not thinking? im so so fucking mad at you. but, my heart belongs to u. remember that
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:14 am UTC
you were the first person that actually made me feel so loved, i regret saying i don't like you but the truth is i actually really do and i was scared that you'd say you didn't like me back if i admitted. i'll appreciate you always j, thank you for making me feel special.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:11 am UTC
I hate that i loved you so much that i didn't see how shitty of a person you really were. Took a while to get over you but now that i have, i feel happy again.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:04 am UTC
yeah ik were tried the first time and i rejected you because I was scared, and you went back with your ex but i miss you .... A LOT and idk how to tell you cause were just friends and i dont want too ruin our friendship
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:00 am UTC
why cant u see i still love u? i miss u more than anything but ik u dont even think once about me anymore. i wish i could tell u this but u wont care.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:45 am UTC
its always you, every night... get out of my head. i never told you i was in love with you but now you text me every once in a while and i wish i’d just gotten one more chance to tell you... not even for it to have worked out, just to let you know that you were my first.
with love, cam
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:39 am UTC
Hey uh... Not exactly sure if you even remember me.. or at least in the way that you remember. I know its been about 5 years since we talked. I remember that one birthday party by the beach in the saltwater pool, and I remember walking back together. And math class when I laughed so hard I got thrown out and we both had to wait in the rain for her to let us back in. Anyway I wasn't sure you remembered me at all I mean it's been forever. You didnt't even know that I liked you, we were only friends because my friends pretending to hate you. I really tried to hate you. But then we went to different schools, and I was pretty sure you wouldnt even remember my face.
That is until 9th grade picture day, when we locked eyes in the cafeteria, and I watched yours flicker with memories buried deep into time. You were definitly taller. And your hair was a littl scruffier, but it was you.
I didn't look the same at all. My hair was longer, I had braces and I was a little bit taller, and really skinny. I only saw you for a minute, but a minute was enough to remember. Then I lost you in the crowd.
And I definitely saw you ariund school that year. I only ever got the confidence to look up to see if you had seen me once. I was standing with a group of my friends outside of attendence, and you guys were by the hallway. I was starting to leave for 8th period, so I just thought what the hell you know. So I leaned into your view, only to find you gazing right back at me. I think time stopped for a second because everyone elses conversation started to die off in the distance. Then the bell rang, and the next week, school ended. I look different now. I believe one day I will see you again, hopefully if we ever go back to school. I dream to see you at prom. I will look different then too. I hope you still think about me.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:36 am UTC
I felt as if my world had shattered when I saw you with her.. left me feeling as if I was only used to fill that void of emptiness you had for her. Making me fall in love with you for nothing but heartbreak and become strangers as if we have never met. my love for you will last lifetimes. i love you..
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:33 am UTC
you were the first person I let myself be vulnerable with. wish you didn't leave me alone downstairs that night.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:31 am UTC
you were the first person I let my self be vulnerable with. wish it didn't end with you leaving me alone downstairs that night.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:30 am UTC
i hate how much you're on my mind. i just want to tell you how i feel, but i know that would ruin everything. and i would rather keep my feelings a secret than ruin something small with you. i think i love you. but i know you will never love me back.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:30 am UTC
you were the first person I let my self be vulnerable with. wish it didn't end with you leaving me alone downstairs that night.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:29 am UTC
you were the first person I let my self be vulnerable with. wish it didn't end with you leaving me alone downstairs that night.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:10 am UTC
we would never really ever talk to each other but when we did there was definitely something between us. some days the thought of you, the thought of us would just pop in my head even thought I knew nothing could ever happen between us because I felt like you didn't like me and even if you did I know we couldn't be something because all I would think about is how you aren't like me at all we have too many differences but I still love you even if you don't love me.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:59 am UTC
I feel like its obvious i like you. I guess if you felt the same you wouldve done something by now. I believed that we would be well together. we enjoy the same things and have the same friends. I was hoping we wouldve figured this out before the winter. I wouldve loved to spend the christmas time with you because i know how much you love it and if only you knew that i love it just as much maybe youd realize im here. But the winters only weeks away so i guess our time has passed. I was holding on really expecting us to be something by now but hey who knows? maybe one day.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:38 am UTC
I miss you so much and all I want to know is how you’re doing. But I know I’ll only be breaking my own heart asking bc I know you’ve been better off since you left
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:32 am UTC
I know I left alone because I was driving myself crazy like we were still together but I miss you a lot .. I don’t even feel the same without anymore. It’s sucks I wish I would’ve handle things way different. The last thing I wanted to do is lose you and that’s what I did. I’m not trying rush things but knowing how you feel about me would mean a lot right now... wish I could see you
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:17 am UTC
Hi ugly, I miss you but you hurt me multiple times and I let it happen. I will always have love for you but not trust... maybe we can try again in the future. Maybe.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:05 am UTC
you told me you liked me and i lied and said i didn't feel the same way because she likes you. i wish you liked her back, not me.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:02 am UTC
I think the reason I lost feelings was because you never really tried. and even though you don’t care I still try. I still have hope for us. And at this point I don’t even know why. I want to stop feeling the way I feel for you but it never goes away.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 4:48 am UTC
the thought of me telling you my feelings just to be embarrassed hurts. why can’t feelings ever be reciprocated?
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 4:38 am UTC
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to erase you from me. I want the part of me you have back. I want me back
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 4:30 am UTC
i said no. i just wanted to go back to the group. fuck you for doing that to me. not a day goes by without thinking about what you did to me.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 3:39 am UTC
I wish you liked me back I would always have little imaginations and we would hang out and when we kiss there are fireworks and we would spoil each other with I love you’s while laying down in a flower field admiring life but …you’re with her and I don’t think we’ll get a chance to live in my imaginations in real life…?
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 3:18 am UTC
I loved you so much it completely hurt me everywhere when we stopped being friends Now I see you are happy with someone all I want is happiness for you even if that has to be without me I loved you so much that I don't ever think I will love someone the same again I feel numb when we stopped talking but I have to move on or I will forever be in the past But I want to say I am over you I am happy for you I just think the only part I miss is how much I loved someone and how I wished someone could love me the same way I loved you I wish I wasn't your second choice or your back up I wish I was your first choice
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 3:16 am UTC
there are times where i do think about you, wondering how you’re doing. you’re definitely happier, no doubt about it. we’ve both moved on, but i miss you sometimes. you definitely don’t miss me though. i know we never dated, i only had the biggest crush on you. but, whether you felt the same way or not, you’re my first love because i literally wanted to marry you. every single time you texted me, my stomach would get butterflies and i would freak out in my room doing a little happy dance. even though we barely saw each other, and we never facetimed, our connection was real, whether you believe it or not. i always played scenarios in my head on going my first date with you, you being my first kiss, all of it. even though you stopped talking to me first, i let my emotions get in the way and i betrayed you by telling her. i’m still so sorry. and i know you want nothing to do with me, i seriously don’t blame you. but, i have morals, i don’t defend liars. yeah it wasn’t my place but who else was she gonna find out from? you were never going to tell her. i know you, well knew you. i just wish you the best, and hopefully we cross paths again.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 3:11 am UTC
The vibe you give off is irresistible. I know you probably don’t think about me as much as I do you but I don’t know for sure. The thought of dating you crosses my mind daily and I don’t know if it would be a good idea or not. I love the attention you bring me and for that I am very grateful. I just want you to know if you ever need me I will always be here. All I want to know if what you think and I will be complete, but I’m scared. I’m scared for the outcome the aquward feeling it will give of if something happens. All I can do now is wait. No way of seeing the future but hopefully you could be a part of it
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 3:10 am UTC
thank you for all the memories, i learned alot from you. i know you dont love me anymore but i will always be here.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 3:00 am UTC
ainttt nobody ever tell youuu howww i feell about uuuuuuu aint nobodyy ever tell you how i love youuuu ya i wanna fck uuuu but it doesnt change the way i feeeel about youuuu
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:56 am UTC
i wished i could’ve been more expensive towards you but you made it hard for me to do that i loved you i did but you made it hard to but i still stuck around because i loved you.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:53 am UTC
i wish u knew how much i still loved u and how much it hurts me to know u don’t feel the same...i want to hear the little details of ur life and it’s sad to know i never will. we’re strangers.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:48 am UTC
Words can't even describe how much i miss you right now..you were my everything and still are. You made me feel so loved and cared for, and i just wanna feel that once more..you made me feel like i was enough, like if i was actually pretty..you made me feel good about my height, you showed me love even through all my insecurities. You hurt me so much that i told you to leave..and you did. I want you back. You were my first actual love. I love you so much and i still hope for you to come back one day. Until we talk again..
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:43 am UTC
Im afraid I won’t move on. You said you felt like people used you when in reality I was the one being used. Fuck You
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:10 am UTC
he like seems so perfect litteraly bro like idk how to explain how i felt for this kid like man he made me smile when he would get in trouble i like his laugh smile attitude towards things and how he doesn’t give up easily with his grades and how he didn’t give up on layla and tried until they dated and i watched him fall for her every single day at school i would watch him go up to layla and her ignoring him and going with her friends and i was like dam he deserves the whole world and he made me laugh and smile a lot. he also made me lose myself he fucked me up i never cried over a boy and if i did i imagined myself at the age of 16 not 13 over him and i prayed to god to keep him safe and make him happy with whoever he ends up with even if it’s not me and i wish him the best i wish him a better life than me if i’m being honest.
him is u j :/
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:08 am UTC
It's funny you said you liked this color on me, so I made it my color and wore every chance I could in front of you. I wear red now.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 1:16 am UTC
I don't know what I did or if I wasn't good enough but why did you leave? I thought what we had was good was I not good enough or pretty enough..
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 12:45 am UTC
you left me broken and i didn’t know what to do with myself. how could you be so careless towards my feelings?
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 18, 2020, 12:29 am UTC
I wonder what happened. Did I do something wrong? Am I annoying you? Am I not enough? Am I too much to handle? Are you just not responding to me as a test, or are you just busy and forgot to text back? I get that we're busy now and I understand that you sometimes forget to text back. But 2 days with no talking? It's making me feel very needy and clingy. I don't mind being clingy, but I don't like being "clingy, clingy" if that makes sense. I just want to know. I'm not ready to lose my source of happiness. I haven't been genuinely happy in so long. I don't want to go back to being sad everyday. So please just text me back. Talk to me. Writing this made me feel desperate :/
