Unsent messages to J

I love you so fucking much but you keep making the worst choices in men. I hate seeing you get hurt all the time and at this point idk what to do. You almost died because of a guy yet you continue to talk to him even if he treats you like absolute dog shit and i dont understand why. Please find someone who truely loves you sis. I want to see you happy.

i was in love before i met you and honestly when i did smthing in me just changed i rlly wish i was braver maybe we would be together but who knows maybe we’ll meet again and fall in love :)

I thought about telling her that you cheated on her with me. But you would hate me for it and I couldn't live with that

She wrote you "101 reasons to love you". Do you think i could find as many to hate you? I could give her at least one

you weren’t my first love, but you still meant a lot to me. I miss you. I wish I knew how to contact you again.

i wish i didn't waste so much time with you, and i hope maybe one day you'll realize that you did a shitty thing.

You showed me what it felt like to give all of myself to someone and be drained. And for that I am forever grateful because I will never be in that situation again.

i fucking hate you, i gave you my whole heart, time and attention and u didn't even care. Why u did this to me ?? u couldve just walked away but u stayed, i miss u and i miss it how it was. I wish we could meet again and just start it all over again even tho i love someone else now... id never replace her with you or anyone, I just wish i could live you a last time.

a part of me will always ache to hold you one more time. i wouldnt know what to say if i got to but i know what i wanna say to you right now. i know you wouldn’t hear my words like i want you to. two years later and i dont understand how you just left without thinking twice.

merry Christmas. i cried this morning because we will never get to live our magical fantasy anymore. i loved you, but now I’ve moved on and found him. and he protects me better than anyone ever has. i am doing really well, but for some reason i thought of you today and just wanted to say i hope you are doing well

i do not know how to tell u this but there r very few things that would make me dislike you. u could kind of do anything to me and i wouldn't care.

i wish you would communicate more so i maybe could’ve understand the reason why u left. i miss you so much, i’m sorry if i wasn’t good enough for you. i will always love you and care about you. i wish you the best

it’s been over a year, but a part of me still feels incomplete without you. you were my better half, i miss you.

I’ve been wondering who your posts reference, since there was no one before or after me. took me a while to realize there was someone during.

i wish you’d stop hurting me and putting all the blame on me. i cant stop trying to make it work with you, but u make me regret it every time.

wow it’s been what a 4 year journey with you... first guy i’ve truly had a crush on... i possibly fell in love w you.. and well things got messy w that whole rumor thing which i never understood lol. and now we talk like nothings happened and i can’t help but thinking do you think about what could’ve been because i’ve always felt like we have a greater relationship than what has panned out. even though nothing really happened between us i’ll always feel like it should’ve.

it just sucked. watching you fall for my best friend. it was my own fault. i got in my own head. i thought we could have lasted. maybe in another life.

I have second thoughts about leaving you on a daily, and it's not that I don't like you. It's that I like you too much and I know you're going to hurt me.

I'm not texting you first because I'm scared I'll be too annoying and will end up chasing you away...

it took me so long to get over you that i can't believe I'm finally doing it now. it doesn't hurt like it used to, and i hope it will totally stop hurting someday all that you did to me.

It still hurts to see you, even though we said we could be just friends. But I just want you to hold me again

i know we both didn’t say it but the energy was there. we both felt it and we were too scared so we ran in the opposite direction. i still love you

you felt like a pretty sunset in the middle of summer . but like all sunsets , all your left with after is darkness

I still love you, I should have moved on like you have, I know but... a part of me still belongs to you

i miss you and will forever but i know that there is nothing left for us. i wish you never cheated:( i wish i could rewind time.

i think i don’t know how to let go because when i stared into your brown eyes, on either side of your littler freckled nose, i saw a forever. and now everything else seems like a temporary mess.

I somehow feel the coldness of my room now that I'm not distracted by your name popping up on my phone...

why couldn’t you get over her. stop hurting others along the way in your attempt to heal. heal alone.

i know you don't care about me anymore, but do you remember drama class in sixth grade. We didn't know each other, but we both took the smallest parts in the play because we didn't like talking in front of the whole class. we just sat and talked on the side together when everyone else would be practicing their lines. that's how our story began. i'm still heartbroken that it ever ended.

you showed me how to love and how to be loved. you were the first person i opened my heart to. it was like when i fell in love all of a sudden a big chunk of my heart was now attached to you. whenever you were angry, sad, and especially when you were happy, i was too. and when you left... that chunk of my heart left with you- and i dont know how to get it back. i dont if i will ever love again.

i was high off the feeling of being adored by you. I drank up the idea that you adored my every move. I realize now I created that magic. I realize now i liked the way you made me adore myself . I can’t be upset you're gone because i still have what you “gave me” adoration for my own life. and that’s where the magic always lived.

when I went back to you I thought you were waiting for me, i didnt expect you to be with someone else

i held onto the small bus ticket you left for me when i last saw you. at the time it was just a funny note, but it still brings me comfort knowing you wrote that for me

Falling in love at such a young age is soul destroying. There’s not one day I can go without thinking about you. One year. One whole year together. I got so attached that whenever school started again and we weren’t with eachother a lot, I realised, your the only person I can depend on. I totally forgot about myself. I slowly fell in to this pool of despair. I shouldn’t of been so dependent on you. It was never you fault. I hate that I wake up every day and remember how I ended it. It was for the best, for me. It was extremely selfish of me and I’ve recognised that. I would never say I hope we never met because this has been the best year of my life , but I wish I never got that attached to you. Cause it hurt something serious letting go. After the breakup I told myself I was going to focus on me. I convinced myself that if you went and kissed other girls, I wouldn’t care. Until you did. When I found it it completely shattered my heart. When I think about the way you kissed me and then the way you kissed those other girls. My heart filled with jealousy. That was the first time since being with you my heart broke. The biggest mistake was not cutting things off with you completely. Because not every time you become a thing with someone it breaks my heart. I know I broke your heart breaking up with you. But it broke my heart doing it. Since we have broken up, you’ve broken my heart 3 times. Getting your heart broke is the worlds worst feeling. You can’t cry or anything. You just sit there. Numb. Falling in love at a young age was a mistake. I still love you more that anyone in this world. I’m sorry

i’m sorry for everything that went down. i wish you could see how much i love you. please be more than okay.

i’m so sorry i hurt you. i truly am. i hope one day you can forgive me and move on. truth is, you loved me so much that it scared me. it scared me, j. i love you too just not in the same way. you’ll always be in my heart, always. i’ll always carry you. but my ultimate wish for you is to forget about me. i’m so sorry.

whenever i’m sad, i think about you... about all the things that went wrong. most of the time i’m okay, but when i’m not, all i want is your voice muttering me to sleep.
i hope you’re well

your favorite color on me was red. i find myself every morning reaching towards the red in my closet, hoping to become more of what you like. hoping you’ll come back.

i loved you more than i loved myself, i know we’re friends now but i still wish you treated me differently.

you are perfect to me. to me you have not a single flaw. it upsets me that we might not get together in a while ( and in that time i get scared that you may find another girl or in fact lose interest). just thinking about you makes me smile

Te dedicaría "Star Shopping" de Lil Peep, pero la letra sería muy compleja para ti, ya que no sales de "Sirenas" de Taburete

I wish things were different. You gave me feelings I never knew existed. I don’t want to let go yet.
Forever L.C.

Don’t be cross; I only left you alone because I thought that’s what you wanted. You have a voice too.

It's 5 in the morning and the thought of you crossed my mind. Although I cringe saying or typing your name, I figured i'll just type this message to get it off my mind. I wish I allowed things to actually happen between us. I don't know why I did it or where I wanted the connection to even go. But I'm glad things ended for a reason. You sometimes cross my mind and there's still hope in me about the connection, but I think it's for the better. For that moment, I learned things from you I'll take on in the future. so thank you. some nights I still wish you were by my side but its okay. I think i accepted it to be over and am slowly moving on because this isn't serving me in any way. I've grown and became a whole different person since October, thank you for teaching me a lot. I know you'll learn about love and more about yourself in the future. I do wish you the best because I know you can and will do big things. I believe when we are both at a point in our lives where we are okay, we will end up meeting again. I would love to see where you would be in the future. I still think of you when certain songs come on and just cringe. I think I keep listening to the same song for one day that can happen between us, and I still think I can. but I cant keep this leftover feeling in me. I cant keep checking on your social medias hoping for you to mention me in anything. its weird and unhealthy. things are better off like this. I hope you're doing good and you keep discovering more about love within yourself. I've done that, and I think I'll continue to do that from now on.

After so long you still live inside of my heart. I would drop everything for you, even if I barely know you anymore.

I do not even recognize myself after you anymore. You broke me into a million pieces and there was no one to pick me up but myself. Fuck you and everything you did to me

everyday i hope that u are thinking about me and u r not gonna forget about me in 3 years when i’m gonna be there next to you...

we aren’t lovers, to be honest, i don’t know what we are or what we will be. however, sometimes, i wish there was a reason you could give me as to why i want you so much more than you want me. i hope we reach an equilibrium someday.

i knw i seem all confident and strong but im actually really shy inside when it comes to actual liking someone platonically or romantically. thought u should know that about me.

Perdona por no haber hecho caso a mi corazón, sé feliz donde quiera que estés. Te quiero y puede que nunca te lo diga...