Unsent messages to J

i think what hurts most is seeing you look at her the way you once looked at me. the look where i was the prettiest and only girl in the world. sometimes i’ve accepted the fact you no longer love me, but that constantly my body fills with pain and regret. im still so in love with you. im so in love with you, i wish I never met you. no one has ever caused me this much love and pain at the same time.

my mind constantly is always going back to the thought of you. if it’s not you, i don’t want it. i love you, and i don’t think i’ll ever stop. thats just the way it’s going to be. i do miss you, my love. wish you knew that.

i wanted to change myself for you, but i’m so glad i saw your true colors. you were so good to me i forgot the bad you did.

our last conversation was me telling u that i couldnt be with u anymore but i know i will never stop loving you. its hard to see u move on but im glad to see u happy again. ily

you broke me more than anyone ever has. all you did was use me for my body. So I’m finally moving on and focusing on me. Fuck you

you broke me when we stopped talking. you probably were talking to a bunch of girls when we were talking. even though we were in different states i liked you. you broke me and i still can't get over.

No matter how many times I try to convince myself, I still love you. It's weird to think that even though u weren't my first crush, you were my first love. You are my sunshine and my moonlight. I try to be content with just being friends but to be honest it hurts a lot. This note is red because u always said that color looked the best on me.

i love you. so much. it hurts knowing that my heart is only searching for you but you're so fucking far away.

We were too young, but it's more than 10 years later and I still miss you terribly and wish I hadn't given up

No se si fuiste mi primer amor, ni siquiera se si realmente me gustaste pero no te puedo sacar de mi cabeza desde que me volviste a hablar.

There wasn't a second I didn't hate you in our relationship, but why do I still hope you think about me everynight.

I wish I could’ve said goodbye before you left. I thought you were coming back but I know ur happier there and you deserve it I’ll see you in a couple years when I can get on a plane and go on a trip by myself. You’re always gonna be my bsf for life. You’ve helped me more than you know I miss you so fucking much but I know ur happy so that makes me happy

Que te vaya bien, te vaya bonito, porque lo nuestro NO me dolió poquito.
Todo pasa, y quien se va es porque llegará alguien mejor, si alguien tiene que volver a tu vida volverá, deja correr el tiempo, la vida todo lo trae

A veces cuando queremos tanto a alguien,lo idolatramos, nos hacemos expectativas de esa persona que no son y no la creemos capaz de tantas cosas....
Igual si que te quería mas de lo que mereces

lol you're so annoying & confusing pls clarify your feels. maybe this could lead to something beautiful

Quisiera saber porque te alejaste de mi lado. Aunque nunca lo demostré te queria y aun lo hago, todo el mundo me dice que no vales la pena y en el fondo tal vez pienso un poco asi pero sigo enamorada de ti, de tus gustos, de tu voz, de tu personalidad, de como me hablabas de tu mascota o me mandabas foto de lo que hacias o cuando nos quedamos hablando hasta tarde. Te extraño, quiero saber de ti, quiero saber como estas, quiero saber si aún piensas en mi, si aún le cuentas a tus amigos de mi o si yo soy la única que sigue enamorada.

Really wish u could look at me the way u look at her. I would‘ve done everything for u but I wasn’t enough - forever keeping the memories we shared

i feel so alone, nothing fills the hole you left when you walked away. i don't know if i loved you too much or not enough, please, i'm begging, come home. it's been dark since you left, no one feels the same. maybe i was easy to replace, but you aren't. how can i forget someone who gave me so much to remember.

You didn’t take me to see the sunrise with you. I hope you are happy watching the sunrise with someone else.

i miss your lips on my head, you felt safe. I've been stranded and alone since you left, i'm sorry i couldn't be her.

It's been a year since we've been apart and you found someone else. You will always have a piece of my heart

Creo que eres mi primer amor pero te has vuelto tan mierda que ni siquiera te quiero mencionar como mi primer amor

Todavía te quiero mucho y me haces mucha falta, no se si quiero volver a verte por que me dolería mucho pero es probable que siempre te recuerde, si debemos estar juntos espero que nos encontremos y amarte de cerca otra vez, extraño hasta tus gestos y me muero por abrazarte.

Lo lamento, lo lamento tanto. Ni siquiera soy capaz de pedirte perdón porque ambos sufrimos a causa de nosotros mismos, pero sin importar cuánto tiempo pase, sigo lamentándolo tanto... Lamento no poder corresponderle y que todo terminara en un desastre, lamento no poder quererte pero es que no puedo quererme a mí mismx y aunque todo terminó de la peor manera, no puedo evitar pensar que es mi culpa aunque te culpe de todo, lo siento, en verdad lo siento.

I miss you, I miss our friendship. You meant more to me than you’ll ever know I’m a fool for letting our friendship go.

I don't know where I went wrong. I will always be here if you decide to come back. I miss you so much, you were one of my best friends.

We're growing apart. It's no one's fault, but I can't put anymore energy into something I know won't make me happy.

Not even a global pandemic brought us together.
I think it’s time for me to accept this won’t ever happen now.

You crushed my soul, but i will forever thank you for showing me what i deserve and what i don't. I love you always, k

I wish you’d given us a chance. I would have been honoured to learn more about you, to get to know your mind and your body, to make them both feel good.

I can’t be with you anymore and i hope she makes you happy but the things you did to me arent okay and i will always be scared of every boy that comes in my life now. you truly did make me happy till you started your habits

Te conocí y me pareciste una persona maravillosa, lastima que todo termino y yo no signifique nada para ti :(

i know you said you needed time before we could be friends again but it’s been two days and i miss you so much

Hi, I have liked you since forever and I have watched you get in and out of so many relationships. i want you to be my first

I want to marry you but you want other things. I’d change my whole world for you but to you I’m just an option

Once upon a time I would have done absolutely anything for you. Who am I kidding? I probably still would.

Lo que pasa es que no quiero encontrar a alguien como tú. QUIERO que seas tú. Te necesito conmigo, me das vida y no sabes cuanto te extraño. Siento que no puedo respirar con este vacío que hay en mi corazón. Me fallaste de nuevo y creeme que estoy completamente dispuesta a intentarlo hasta que funcione pero necesito que ya no me falles. Eres quien le da color a mi vida y creeme que jamás voy a olvidarte. Eres sólo tú.

Sometimes I imagine the way my life might have been different if we’d have met sooner. We haven’t even met at all....

it's been a year and i still haven't forgiven myself for not telling you how i felt when i had the chance.

you were the first girl i ever really had feelings for, and everything would have been so much fucking easier if you had been clear you vague bitch. jk i love u and we're friends now but ngl im a little resentful

I miss you. Eventhough i know you dont. I miss you. No matter what i do, no matter where i go. All i think about is you. I dont know how to make it stop. I dont want to miss you but at the same time i do. Fuck you

I wonder why I wasnt good enough at the end. I wasnt even worth a message, not even a single word. You used to be obsessed with me, chasing me for months. You told me the most beautiful things. Told me you were so nervous to talk to me because i was so beautiful, how much you liked me and how much it hurt when i kissed that guy and how bad you felt when you kissed that girl. When i finally agreed to a date it was great. How can you act like youre in love with me and then not even text me back. Why the fuck can you not just reject me like a normal person. Why dont you have the balls to tell me you dont like me like that anymore. All i want is one message explaining what happened. You know i deserve it.

quizás ya no te extrañe a ti, pero sí a tu hermanito y tu perrito, cuídalos mxo, ojalá no me olviden :c

Siempre siempre me voy a acordar de ti, bendito el dia que respondi ese mensaje porque aunque no haya sido nada me has enseñado mucho, espero que te vaya super bien y que cumplas todo lo que quieres porque te lo mereces
Te quiero

I don't even know were to begin but to say it was a privilege being yours. I've never connected and loved one like I did with you. You gave me purpose, led me down the brightest path I've been down. I never wanted to let you go because if I did I would have lost myself but I think its time to. It's time for me to let go and work on myself to become the best version of me possible but I know in spite of everything that has happened you were my heaven sent angel. Forever and always you will be my yellow I love you.

i’ve been really missing u recently and i’m really fighting the urge to let u back in my life. especially right now.

Gray because I thought there was some light. I was wrong. I broke you trying to help you with someone else. I hate myself. I am sorry.

I miss you so much whenever I hear your name my heart sinks anything and everything reminds me of you i wish you didn’t leave I love you and will always. You were my torta

I miss you so much and you don't even realize it. Whenever I think about us I can't help but to blame myself for never being able to open up and be normal person. You see, whenever I was going through something hard in my life I wanted to tell you but I couldn't bring myself without overthinking every little thing. I have been in relationships where the other person didn't care about anything I did or thought. However, you, you were different you always check up on me, you always knew when I wasn't acting like myself, you always knew how to cheer me up. And I will never ever forget how you made me feel. You knew about things that not even my family knew about and you always tried to help me get through these thing. But I guess that over time you just couldn't handle that I wasn't easy to be with. I guess you just gave up on me, and I don't blame you because I would have too. I wouldn't want to be stuck with someone who is so messed up that even having someone like you in their life doesn't make them reconsider things in life. I just wish I could go back in time and fix myself and make things right. I wish I could go back in time and tell you that I love you but its too late and I wish I could fix things but I know I can't. I just hope that whoever gets to have you next doesn't mess up as bad as I did, because you are an extraordinary person with such a big heart.

Dear J—
I hate that you ruined
Jameson on the rocks.
It no longer burns, steady and passionately, but instead
it’s bitter and fleeting. The
gin bottle you drank from
resides in my trunk still.
untouched. unmoved. undrunk.