Unsent messages to J
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 2, 2020, 1:33 pm UTC
we will find each other when the time is right, to carry on a friendship or love. just heal so this universe will let you into my realm again
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 2, 2020, 12:55 pm UTC
itāll always feel like iām dreaming when you say you love me. i canāt wait to marry you
ā”
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 2, 2020, 9:15 am UTC
I never meant to hurt you. How was supposed to know you felt this way when you made it obvious You felt otherwise?
From: ABC
To: J
Date: November 1, 2020, 6:58 am UTC
last night i prayed for the first time since struggling with my faith in god. because i thought that if i was to ask for one thing from god it would be to have him let you know how much i love you and want the best for you even if that means itās not me.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 31, 2020, 5:12 am UTC
i think about you sometimes, but not in āiām in love and miss you type of wayā more like you were there for a lot of my firsts and we made an impact on each other. iām happy we both moved on. wishing you the best
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 30, 2020, 3:59 pm UTC
all i wanted was answers. i slowly realized that was unrealistic. you aren't the guy I thought. I was asking the version of you in my head.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 30, 2020, 3:23 pm UTC
I wanted to say something, but how do I say we canāt talk to each other? You would have convinced me otherwise. Trapping us in the same cycle. You left me first, and replaced me. please donāt ever forget that
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 30, 2020, 1:53 pm UTC
i just couldn't lose you, so i asked you if we could start over, even if that means we will just be
f r i e n d s.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 30, 2020, 1:15 am UTC
i ended it so you could stop devoting all your energy to fixing me, but youāre still the only one i want to hold me when iām sad.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 30, 2020, 12:17 am UTC
if you see this i hope you like me in way that i like you cause itās so damn hard being around you while youāre just so perfect but you know i hate you already for feeling like this go to hell my bitch
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 29, 2020, 7:50 pm UTC
Iām sorry that things didnāt work out with us. I think about you a lot and how I wish I couldnāt changed so things didnāt end. I still find myself wanting to text you and tell you about a pretty sunset I saw. I still canāt force myself to listen to our song, even though itās almost been a year. I truly wish you the best
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 29, 2020, 3:56 pm UTC
I miss the long nights, our first kiss and the snacks we had at 1 am cuz none of us wanted the night to end.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 29, 2020, 10:12 am UTC
I thought I was finally over you, I got rid of all the jumpers you gave me. But last night I had a dream about you. When will this end ? Itās been 4 years I canāt take it much longer. What did you do to me ?
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 29, 2020, 3:42 am UTC
i still think about you everyday, you never leave the back of my mind. i really hope you loved me the way i love you.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 29, 2020, 3:40 am UTC
i still think about you everyday, you never leave the back of my mind. i really hope you loved me the way i love you.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 29, 2020, 1:41 am UTC
thereās not a day that goes by that I donāt think about you itās like your still here but your not please come back
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 28, 2020, 11:47 pm UTC
Thank you for leaving me because if you hadnāt I would still be stuck and not have met my real soulmate
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 28, 2020, 3:48 pm UTC
I love the way that you care about me. I dream about us being together, but I know it'll never happen. I think that it will and I get my hopes up but then nothing happens.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 28, 2020, 2:17 pm UTC
i wish you still cared enough to say good morning and goodnight the way you used to. that's really all we have now...
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 28, 2020, 12:35 pm UTC
in the end, it was for the better. but it definitely didn't make me better. it's been 74 days, still hurts but it'll heal :)
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 27, 2020, 9:32 pm UTC
We donāt even know each other that well, but god am I in love with you. The way you said my name for the first time was like rain on a sunny day.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 27, 2020, 8:30 pm UTC
you kept me here on this earth a lot longer than i expected and i just wanted to thank you for that. take care, i love you, i hope u know that.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 27, 2020, 6:05 pm UTC
I donāt regret loving you. I would do it all over again, even if it meant getting hurt because you were the greatest thing to happen to me.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 27, 2020, 3:01 pm UTC
why didn't you tell me that you were moving to the other side of the world? I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to tell you that I love you. fuck you.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 26, 2020, 3:44 pm UTC
I miss u so much. ur my last thought before I go to bed and my first thought when I wake up in the morning. I wish you missed me too. its been so so long. I know you probably don't even think abt me. I probably don't even cross ur mind every once in a while. I would text u and let you know that I miss u but I know that you won't care. I wait for u at the park even tho I know you live all the way across town. I haven't seen u in a long time I miss u a lot. I would do anything to at least just walk past and wave at u.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 25, 2020, 4:09 pm UTC
Iām glad I could be strong for you one last time, I saw my family today and they seemed as heartbroken as me
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 25, 2020, 3:32 pm UTC
No one has ever taken so much from me as you. Thank you I got to rebuild myself stronger in fear of you returning . I donāt understand how you lied that she was nothing to you. But you blocked me for her and couldnāt block her for me. I miss who I thought you where.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 25, 2020, 3:31 pm UTC
I'm still unaware how I feel about you... everything you do makes everyone around you laugh, and you radiate energy. I just wish you would open up
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 25, 2020, 2:15 pm UTC
you made me want to be better, I just want something sweet and short with you. You're like a breath of fresh air, but I don't think we're endgame. But that doesn't mean I don't want to know what can happen.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 24, 2020, 12:28 pm UTC
so she got u in this universe, mayb in another alternate universe we're together. it would b unfair if i had u in both :/
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 23, 2020, 9:26 pm UTC
I donāt think you realised how much I loved you. You were my first love. I was head over heels for you. Why did we have to end this way?
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 23, 2020, 8:10 pm UTC
I know everything from the past is really hurting you but u have to know I am sorry and Iām doing everything I can to show that
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 23, 2020, 3:25 pm UTC
i miss you more than you will ever know. It hurts knowing youāre only a text message away. It hurts more knowing you donāt want me anymore.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 23, 2020, 3:22 pm UTC
i miss you more than you will ever know. It hurts knowing youāre only a text message away. It hurts more knowing you donāt want me anymore.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 22, 2020, 9:17 pm UTC
I may not always love you
But as long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
Iāll make you so sure about it
God only knows what Iād be without you
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 22, 2020, 5:06 pm UTC
why do you have to be such a player? youāre so beautiful, i see the stars in your eyes when you laugh. i wanna see them more.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 22, 2020, 11:24 am UTC
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to hold the two of us out of the water. I miss you, more than you know.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 22, 2020, 5:36 am UTC
Why did you have to lie? Did allowing me to develop feelings for you and you playing along help your conscience because of the pity you felt for me. To be honest, I know we were young but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 21, 2020, 10:31 pm UTC
I have liked you for a really long time. Like really long. Every other person I talked to was compared to you. I finally got to be with you and I realized your not all my mind had told me you were. You are just a person. I have this weight lifted off of me. I can love now without always thinking of you. Thank you.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 21, 2020, 8:02 pm UTC
we dont really talk much anymore, we met during quarantine. i enjoyed the time we spent together. thank u for that. im sorry i suck at keeping contact, i really wish i could but its just so hard. i love u a lot. im not sure if its romantic. i dont think it is. but you mean a lot to me, so thank u for making quarantine not so bad. :)
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 21, 2020, 3:30 pm UTC
Sometimes I regret that I never dated you, but I really think we're better off as friends. (you were J when I loved you, so that's why I didn't put your new name)
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 21, 2020, 11:46 am UTC
Hey... itās 7am rn. I didnāt get any sleep and stayed up all night thinking about you and you know what? Iām gonna treat this thing like my diary. To be honest, I donāt feel like I like you anymore. I think I donāt. I know weāre long gone but I still had feelings for you when we drifted apart. It took me months. All those months I cried at fuckin... 3am, couldnāt focus at school, work, and just kept wishing that you care enough to think about me too... but I know you donāt, and thatās fine. Thatās the reason why we stopped meeting each other anyway, I just wish you had told me what you felt beforehand, I had so much hope for the both of us. Everything.. Just please tell me all those times we had together meant something to you. I know you didnāt love me but you atleast cared about me, right? ...Well, I guess this is moving on. Itās much lonelier than I had imagined. You know, losing someone so important to you feels like you lost a part of yourself. Everyday, when we still had each other, all I thought about was you. Everyday. We talk almost everyday before bed and right after waking up, Iād ask you about your day and youād tell me all the interesting bits of your day. Iād listen, listen, listen, and just listen. But you wonāt listen to me. Nor were you ever interested about how my day was. Now that youāre gone itās just kind of like... back to square one, you know? I had to figure out how to do things that I used to do when you were by my side. I had to completely reset my routine, every morning iād think āyouāre gone, youāre gone, youāre gone, how will I spend this day without you? Without your hugs and kisses? without hearing your voice? Without you by my side? Who was I before I met you? Do I want to become the person I was before you?ā. One thing for sure is, I donāt cry about you anymore. I donāt know why, it just stopped and I canāt exactly figure out why, but I still think of you, holding you and embracing you, but god fucking dammit youāre gone! And you wanted that! You left me in the dark when we promised weāll always have each other. Itās so fucking stupid. All those times are so fucking stupid. I feel so fucking stupid for thinking that I meant something to you.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 21, 2020, 11:35 am UTC
I know I've got to move on but I can't because that means I've got to remember what I'm moving on from.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 20, 2020, 5:45 pm UTC
Wish we could go back to watching our favourite programs and eating our favourite foods at 1am. Miss you
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 20, 2020, 5:43 pm UTC
Wish we could go back to watching our favourite programs and eating our favourite foods at 1am. Miss you
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 20, 2020, 2:08 pm UTC
I really, really, wanted it to be you. It still can be if you change your mind. I hope you change your mind.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 20, 2020, 12:47 pm UTC
its been months and i cant remember what it feels like to not miss you,i hate the fact that i cant hate you for that
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 20, 2020, 4:38 am UTC
I know you will always love her, and I will never be her. but I have to be okay with that because being second best is better than being without you.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 19, 2020, 6:27 am UTC
I wish we wouldāve stayed friends. I wish we never attempted to be anything more. Every precious memory I have with you is centered around that time we were growing together and discovering ourselves. Then after we tried to date it all fell into pieces. Now I can only think back on those memories because whatās left in their wake is disaster. I was hesitant to call you my first love because I felt there was so much more room to grow. But if itās anyone I am glad it was you. I was young and foolish but I know now without a doubt that the burning in my chest was love for you. I was in love and it was wonderful. And even now that we have semi started to heal and we can talk to this day. I hold that feeling close. I cant wait for a chance to feel that feeling again. Youāll always have the honor to be the first one that ever held it. I miss us. Iām moving on. Iām growing. You are too. I am glad for the time we had.
From: ABC
To: J
Date: October 18, 2020, 8:13 pm UTC
I'm happy that your happy I truthfully am, but I will always love you, and I'm sorry for everything that happened between us.
