i didnt think i would fall for you. i really didn't at first but then i realized how perfect you are. your personality, looks, laugh, the way you look at me. i know you feel it too. you cant talk to me without feeling nervous and i laugh thinking about it every time. i want you to love me back the way i love you. you're perfect please never change. your goofyness brings me so much joy and i love everything about you. i think about you all the time. about what we could be. but we cant. it would ruin everything and knowing that breaks me inside. i love you and you make me smile like no other.

Hey man, I'm so happy that we're over each other, because being friends with you is the best. Seriously though, you need to figure out how to be less awkward so you can get a bf or gf. Whoever gets to date you is gonna be so lucky. You're the sweetest guy ever, and I hope you don't have to keep hugging guitars. It's kinda sad. Anyway, sorry you blew it with that girl in the spring, but trust me when I say you're gonna have other options. Love you, I'll see you tomorrow.

you give me butterflies. i didn’t even know it was still possible for me to get butterflies. thank you.

you insecure lil bitch get your shit together before you fuck w my emotions. you're also a lying son of a bitch, manipulative, asshole.

i used to think you were the right person, just at the wrong time. now, i'm not sure if you ever had been the right person

i'm so afraid of people hating me because of the lies you told, i don't even know all of what you said about me - i understand you were hurt but if you ever loved me why would you do this?

You're so perfect that I think that someone must have looked at the perfect significant other that I created in my head and made you based on that criteria. To bad you wouldn't look at me like that in a million years.

i miss you lol. it kinda sucks bc ik we’ll never talk again. and you probably won’t ever see this but hi :(

hey. i wish i could talk to u again. i wish i had one more chance to tell u how i feel. u hurt me so deeply. i cared for u so much. i ask myself everyday why i ever fell for a player lmaoo it’s sucks. but it is what it is ?

This says to type as if it were a text message but I could type a whole book of things I would tell you. I used to keep track of the days we didn't talk and hope that one day i wouldn't have to count anymore. But that day never came and soon months turned into years. I don't exactly remember how many years we haven't talked, maybe 6? 7? Sometimes I forget about you. Then every once in a while, I see something that reminds me of you. Victoria's Secret perfume. A yellow door. An American Eagle jacket. It's crazy to think we went through so much just to not know each other now. I wish we could talk. If only for a couple minutes. I believe my life would have turned out much diffrent if I could have had you in my life. You made me want to accomplish my dreams. You pushed me to get up in the mornings. Something that has been a struggle since. You always did believe in me. For that I will be forever grateful. I'm not sure what you're doing in life now, I hope you're still in college. You were always super smart. I remember you said you wanted to be a psychologist. I've talked to your grandpa twice a week for a while now. Two months I think. He doesn't talked about you but I kinda wish he would. At least to tell me how you're doing but I think he's too scared to. I used to talk to him about how much I cared for you. I wish things could go back to how they were. I know they can't. But it's a nice thought. And if for whatever reason you find this...no you didn't lol. And I hope you know I'm sorry for how we ended and how I was.

we never even watched a single episode of chewing gum. i watched your entire anime, and you always complained that i chose the show.

I really thought you felt the same way.. I thought you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. I was wrong I guess.

Hey Alec, you probably won’t remember me, but its “Bailey.” its been about 4-5 years since we last spoke. I hope you and the gang are doing well. I’m sorry i didnt get to say a proper goodbye.. we were so young and i just got so mad. anyways, did you know that im trans? crazy, right? never wouldve seen it coming. I hope we get to see each other someday, until next time

I'm still in love with you and you have no idea. We could keep going on walks forever and I wouldn't find the words.

I honestly am not sure how I feel about you but I know there is some kind of love that I feel for you.

God I miss you so much and it’s been a year and we dated in 7th grade for only two months and you’re still on my mind

I know there were 1000 things we have to say to each other and I wish there comes a day we can talk about it

Why did you leave me without saying anything? From one to the other day you were gone and left me with myself

You treated me wrong. That is why I left. Now I have to start to rebuild my life without you in it. How, I still don’t know.

I loved you so much. I don't know why you also threw away our friendship when the relationship stopped working. Will you ever reach out again?

this is your favorite color. i've always hated it but, when i was with you, i liked it a bit more. you always knew how to put light back into things. i hate how i don't have you anymore.

Imagine if we kept all those promises to each other. I miss the old you, the old you that loved me. Now you're just a figment of my imagination. Where did I go wrong? I need to let you go so I can improve myself. You're blocking my path to success. You always said we would stay friends, but I guess promises are made to be broken. I hope you treat your next girlfriend with love and respect, and please make promises you can keep. I love you but I'm setting you free. Until we meet again...

I’ll always love you Alec. Never ever will stop and that’s a pinky promise. We’ll forever be the greatest love story

I don't even know if I should tell you how I feel... I'm scared you already know and that's why you've been so off with me lately...

im so incredibly in love with you. you make me feel every emotion and you mean everything to me. i wish you liked me back even though i know you never would. you're my everything and i need you.

i care for you a lot and idk why but something tells me we have this connection but i have never met someone who understands me like you do and ily even though i dont mean anything to u

my subconscious keeps trailing back to u. i’m starting to see u in everything i do. i think im falling in love w/ u.

i wasn’t suppose to like you. this is so stupid. you’re so dumb for making me like you. not really though, you can’t be nice to me though. that’s how people catch feelings. sometimes u act like u like me then other times you don’t. idk with you. it’s whatever, not like i care anyways. i do but whatever. this is in my favorite color so, tan/brown but okay yeah that’s it. bye i guess.

i sat in the park today where we used to sit hoping you would come and sit with me I was hurt when you didn't I don't know how you would even know I was there but you didn't and it made me sad

You know how much I care about you and you take advantage of that and flirt with me one day just to leave me for the next month

I'm pretty sure I caught feelings for you. And while it is lovely to feel this way again, I'm also somewhat ashamed and even scared that I'll ruin everything between us. Our friendship is so much more important to me than whatever dump pining feelings I have and I love having you in my life as much as you are. You make me laugh and smile so much more lately than ever before, though. And it's just so confusing to not understand if you're just opening up more or showing signs of reciprocation. What would I know anyways, though? I'm kinda clueless when it comes to this stuff, and I just get too nervous and overthink in any case anyway. I do want to tell you how I feel at some point, but it's gonna be a good bit until I can confront this and be honest with myself before being honest with you as well. Thank you though. You make me real fucking happy and I'm so grateful to have you in my life.

you ha beo idea how bad i wanna text you, even though you have a gf. i hope you come back eventually. i wonder if i ever cross your mind.

i think you're a good person and you make me want to be a better one. I would do anything just to put a smile on your face. Maybe on day you'll let me

Kinda wish sometimes we can be more than friends... if i ever show u this then i guess it happened, i love u

i would’ve been there for you and helped you grow into a better man but u chose alcohol and that bitch instead

i kind of secretly hate you lol but like ur nice and stuff but you honestly need to shut the fucking hell up sometimes because nobody cares about your opinion as much as you think they do lol

instead of looking for you in new people, i look for the opposite. i will never fully heal from the pain you caused me.

u don’t know how long i’ve been waiting for that text, i hope u know there’s always a place for u in my heart, no matter who i’m with.

So you called me a whore who sleeps around. Not surprised, you never cared about me or really knew me. You thought I was just like you - you who have slept with countless girls. I've only been with 2 guys. You and him. And I regret sleeping with both of you. I wish I could take my virginity back and protect it from guys like you and him. Scummy guys who lie and destroy. You always had a special place in my heart, but I see you clearly for who you are now. I've blocked you and cut you out of my life. This is it. I can't be the one you hold onto when you need to feel better about yourself bc I was the only one who could see the good in you. I don't know if I see that good anymore. I'm disappointed. Hurt that you would say all that about me. I should have cut you out of my life a long, long time ago. Well, better late than never.

telling me how you really feel would hurt less than sitting here wondering whats so wrong with me and why im not good enough for you

after all the times i cried, all the times i hated myself, after seeing you with her why didn’t i realize it was a bad idea? we were always going to end badly, we both chose not to see it.

we haven't spoken in almost a year, but i still get the same pang of heartbreak in my chest every time i see you.

does my name burn the back of your throat when you say it now? do you still remember the taste of my chapstick? does your stomach drop when you see me now? do you remember the weight of my head on your shoulder when i'd fall asleep on you in class? do you remember the feeling of my cold hands in yours? do you remember the smell of my shampoo and the way your hoodies smelled like me when i'd give them back? do my favorite artists still make you think of me, and the way i could talk about art for hours? do the songs we used to listen to still remind you of me? do you still wear the clothes i constantly borrowed, or do they remind you too much of me? do you think of me when you paint? do you remember when i would find any excuse just to talk to you? do you think of me when you look up at the stars? did you keep the notes i gave you between classes? do you remember me falling asleep on your chest after school? do you remember me crying during lunch the second you asked if i was okay? do you remember the long hugs after school, holding onto each other like it was the last time even though we knew we'd see each other again the next morning? do you remember the quick kisses when we thought no one was looking? does tim burton and marvel still remind you of me, can you watch those movies without any thought of me? do you remember laying on your couch talking about nothing for hours? do you still feel the soft touch of my hands across your skin? do you remember how everyone else knew we had crushes on each other before we even did? were you broken by the sudden ending too? do you miss me? did you ever even care about me? do you even think of me anymore? did you know how hurt i was when you posted a picture with another girl while we were dating? did you know that i never felt like i was enough for you? do you care anymore? or have you forgotten.

You’re the only person I want to talk to right now you’re the gateway to a world I no longer have access to

was it the right person just the wrong time?
i get lost in these messages at 3 am overthinking each word sometimes.
i was insecure and practically at my worst right before we broke up. i’d love to fully explain but that would be a lot longer to write and that’s not really the point of this.
i’ve figured out who i am. i finally dyed my hair purple, i got more (and more) piercings, i wear makeup, and i finally dress more towards how i wished i could; i even wear my hair natural now. i finally got my weight back up; which is something i don’t think you knew i was fighting when we broke up. that summer id dropped from 110 to around 92 pounds and fought to bring it back above 100, i was terrified of losing more weight.
i don’t know if it was quarantine, or if it would have happened anyways, but i finally am who i am supposed to be; i still struggle to get through each day sometimes, but i am in a completely different place then when i knew you.
i was insecure and jealous of your friends when we were dating because they looked how i wished i could.
i don’t feel like that anymore.
im trying to keep this short, but neither of us really got full closure.
im sorry and i hope you live a great life.
+ did you see saturn and jupiter the other day? the planets are beautiful.

alec, it’s been so long since we’ve talked. which doesn’t surprise me because you’re not here anymore. when you were around you meant the absolute world to me, you still do mean the world to me. i miss you so much every single day. the smallest things remind me of you. it’s hard to keep going but i’m pushing through for you, i love you. and i miss you more than words can describe. i would do anything to go back in time and convince you to stay longer, but the past is in the past. and i will keep pushing, and keep fighting, just like you told me to.

what we had was not real we were just two kids falling in love not knowing what love is therefore
we just fell.

I miss the way your words would brush past my ears and leave a chill in my spine. I miss the late night conversations about the word we would have. i miss the feeling i would get every time you spoke my name. but you left out of nowhere. you were gone. you fell from my fingertips as i tried to hold on. the last thing you said to me was that you loved me but i dont even believe it anymore.

For years you kept me on your line, without out ever reeling in. I'll never forgive you but I still love you.

i still like you and i’ve tried other people but they’re not you. i’m sorry