Unsent messages to A

daisies... I'm allergic to them but they are my favorite. you are my daisy. u hurt me but I still love you.

i know that you’re never gonna see this, but you have NO idea how much i am still in love with you. i met you when i was just 14, you were 15. you were my bestest friend, until i realised i was starting to fall for you. here i am, about to turn 18 and my feelings haven’t changed. you were the first and only boy i have ever fallen in love with and it hurts to know that we aren’t as compatible as i wished. i’d like to think that we’re right person wrong time, but i think that we’re wrong person wrong time. you are the one person that annoys me more than anyone yet i still manage to fall more in love with you even on our bad days. we always talked about our future, how many children we’re going to have, how old we’re going to be when we have them and what age we want to get married, but i feel like that will never happen. if you don’t end up becoming the father to my children, i’ll make sure to tell them about my first love and what it felt like. i love to look at you when you drive, you always look so pretty to me, even when you’re doing nothing. you know how much eye contact makes me nervous yet when you stare into my eyes it gives me the most amazing butterflies. i could go on for hours about how you make me feel. i want you to know how special you are to me, and that even if we don’t end up together in the future, you’re always going to mean something to me. i don’t know what i’d do if something happened to you. my life would turn upside down, and even on days where you would be in the worst mood possible and take it out on me, i’d still think you were so perfect. i miss kissing all over your face, especially your cheeks. you’d never admit it to anyone, but i know you loved it, it made you feel cared for. i wish i could do that one last time, i wish i could look into your big hazel eyes while you look down at me and i wish i could tickle up and down your back while you fall asleep with your face in my neck. i love you.

Tío me enamore de ti y no fue justo que me hicieras tanto daño sin yo merecerlo, tengo cicatrices que me lo recuerdan todos los dias y ese dolor no se me va a olvidar nunca.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to convince myself that you were looking at me. Deep down I knew she was always right behind me.

I fear loving the way you've taught me to, you have left a void that I don't know how to recover from

Tú me hiciste sentir todo y pero a la vez me hice mucho daño al enamorarme de ti, se que no tuviste culpa tú por qué nunca me demostraste ni un mínimo sentimiento. Quiero que sepas que fuiste mi primer amor y el único que he tenido y que siento demasiadas cosas por ti, te me haces el chico más buena gente, divertido, honesto, guapo, en fin muchas cosas. Creo que el destino nos junto al ponernos más de 5 años juntos, talvez no es aún nuestro momento y si el destino no tiene preparado más camino juntos es por algo y espero que tengamos una mejor mentalidad en un futuro.
P.Te quiero como no imaginas.

i’m so lucky you came back in my life. loving you makes me love myself more. i’ll follow you anywhere.

i’m so lucky you came back into my life. i love myself more because of you. i’ll follow you anywhere.

pienso en vos todos los días. fuiste mi primer amor, nunca te voy a olvidar. todavía no pude encontrarte en ninguna otra persona.

I know you more than u think but at the same time I don't know u at all. so why don't u tell me the things I don't know?

Gracias por haber sido tu el primero en enseñarme lo que era el amor,ojala hubiera durado más, pero lo poco que fue lo recordare siempre y aunque tu ya no te acuerdes de mi,tu siempre tendrás un hueco en mi corazón siempre estaras conmigo.

te he superado, me has perdido y ojala poder decir que ya no te quiero. sigo sin querer verte por si vuelvo a sentir lo mismo, ese 20 d diciembre duele infinito

You were my yellow when my life was completly black. Hope one day you know how you helped me without even knowing. But things have changed.Now i try to avoid your name

I dont know how to talk to you anymore, when we used to be on videocall till 1am. what changed?
Did i do something wrong?

I sweared you were the love of my life, but I was wrong. I hope you find someone who can love me as much as I did.

no soy de las personas que se enamoran fácilmente, pero ese día, me hablaste con tanta naturalidad que no supe qué hacer, hablamos de un libro y reímos, luego te sentaste a mi lado y hablamos aún más. Me gustaste, eras tan lindo y te preocupabas, me gustaba como tomabas mi mano y no me dejabas sola porque sabías que no sé cómo hablar con otras personas y no querías que estuviera sola en medio de tantas personas. Te dije que me gustabas por mensaje de texto porque no tenía el valor de decírtelo a la cara y tú ya querías ser mi novio, me sentí feliz pero decidimos seguir conociéndonos para luego estar juntos. Pasaron unas semanas y me pediste ser tu novia un jueves y yo te dije que sí, desde ahí siempre estábamos juntos y no nos podían separar, nos conocimos cuando yo estaba bien sola y cuando llegaste tú hiciste que mis sentimientos se desbordaran. Tuvimos problemas pero siempre nos encontrábamos porque éramos como dos imanes, no podía estar sin ti, y si avanzaba, siempre volteaba a ver si seguías. De tanto lío, te rendiste y yo igual, no volvimos a unirnos, me alejé y te alejé a ti. Empecé a avanzar sin voltear a verte. Después de meses volví a pensar en ti y traté de voltear para verte, pero ahora eras tú quien estaba adelante, traté de alcanzarte pero estabas muy lejos, así que seguí. Conocí a alguien, hablamos mucho y cuando menos lo esperé, estabas a un paso mío sonriendo, mi corazón se detuvo un momento al ver que estabas tan cerca, te disculpaste y lo acepté y ahora hablamos como si fuéramos amigos, ya no duele pero sigo pensando un poco en ti, fuiste y siempre serás mi primer gran amor, si decides volver a mi lado, estaría más que feliz, y si no, estaré bien con tenerte siquiera como amigo. Te amé, te amo y te amaré siempre.

Te quiero, y quiero que seas feliz al lado de quien sea, pero nunca me has dado la oportunidad de demostrártelo y nadir te va a querer como yo

It was really unnecessary that you ghosted me. You could have told me what I did wrong. Thats not asking for to much. I waited for you. But nothing. You didn't have to do that to me. You could have just told me you didn't like me. Mf played me.

i knew i was catching feelings for you - someone who would never see me as more than a friend. so i stopped talking to you.

It hurts that when u see me u act like u never knew me. Our families go on vacations together DON'T lie.

you were the first boy I trust after a long time but thanks to you I've learned I shouldn't trust boys.(but if u come up to me, I will trust you again cause ily)

im in love with you. maybe. idk. i broke up with my girlfriend because you kissed me. so theres that.

why are you this toxic but i can’t leave you? do i love you i dont even know. you break me just so much that i don’t actually want to do anything, i have no motivation. you never liked me, you sometimes say im like a medicine to you and i make you so happy and i comfort you but you dont even want to say that im your best friend. i want to leave you because you dont give a fuck about the person that broke me the most in the world, the person who made me want to k1ll myself, youre best friends with them. i cant even begin to tell you how broken i am over this. you probably were my first love and i will always have this weakness for you but i wish u were a good best friend.

you don't deserve the energy i'm giving you. you didn't even deserve my attention at the first place.

I've liked you for the past three years. idk if u noticed but what can you do bc we don't talk a lot anymore. wish we did. ok bye.

I hate that we are so far apart from each other, we‘re soulmates - we both know that. But the worst part is that we can’t be together. I love you. Also, I get mad every time I‘m being called princess by someone and it isn’t you ):

Why do you say all these things that you don’t mean? I wish you would tell me how you actually feel about me. I‘m falling apart trying to decide whether to give you up or keep going.

I know I make you happy and you make me happy too. We aren’t right for eachother but I still love you all the same

J'ai juste l'impression d'être trop conne. Comment on peut profiter d'une gamine de 13 ans sans avoir son malheur sur la conscience. J'ai détruit la confiance que ma mère avait en moi à cause de toi, je me suis même fais du mal et je méritais pas ça bordel. J'étais tellement jeune, je voulais juste que les adultes me voient comme eux, comme quelqu'un avec qui ils pouvaient communiquer sans pour autant les prendre de haut. Je voulais peut-être un peu aussi que mes parents s'intéressent à moi. Et puis merde j'en ai marre de remettre ça sur ma faute, tu parlais tellement mal de moi, le pire là dedans c'est que moi innocente comme j'étais je pensais que tu m'aimais, que tu ferais tout pour moi. :') Je me trouve drôle maintenant, je sais pas comment j'ai pu penser ça de toi. Tu sais maintenant c'est compliqué, compliqué de me reconstruire tout en sachant ce qu'un con peut me faire si je reste pas trop sur mes gardes. Mais je fais avec comme t'as pu le voir je sors avec des garçons et à chaque fois j'espère avoir trouvé le bon mais dès que j'ai le dos tourné on me fait du mal donc j'arrête tout mais j'apprend jamais de mes erreurs et je recommence jusqu'à m'attacher à nouveau à quelqu'un et honnêtement c'est un cercle vicieux. Bon ok je veux bien dire que j'ai pas été totalement honnête avec certains et je m'en veux mais merde j'aime pas les gens qui me prennent pour une conne. Je crois avoir trouvé le bon aujourd'hui reste plus qu'à espérer :) Pour l'instant il m'a pas trop fait de mal à priori je réfléchis juste trop mais ça c'est pas nouveau. Il est toujours là pour moi mais je pense que si il savait que je suis encire vraiment cassée par ce que tu m'as fais il le prendrait assez mal. Tu sais que c'est à cause de toi la plupart du temps quand j'arrive pas à me concentrer en cours je me demande tout le temps ce que j'aurai pu faire pour que ce tu m'aies fais n'arrive pas et au final je trouve pas. Je sais pas si c'est parce que je le méritais ou parce que t'es qu'un con et que t'es né pour me faire du mal et bousiller ma vie :)

te odio pero te amo me estas haciendo mucho dano y ni siquiera yo puedo conmigo me duele que ni siquiera me pidas perdon o me lo allas dicho de una manera en la que no me doliera tanto me caga que n este contigo we neta ni 2 dias y ya andavas con alguien neta yo estuve para ti en tus dias tristes y me decias que ibas a estar para mi en mis dias mas feos y wey DONDE ESTASSS CUANDO MAS TE OCUPO???y te odio te odio te odio maldito soft boy me hiciste creer que todo iba a ser diferente y aqui es cuando me doy cuenta que la mayoria son iguales y TE ODIO gracias por sacarme un poquito de la realidad por unos minutos pero jodete ojala n te rompa y mires que yo siempre fui tu mejor opcion y me vengas rogando y va a pasar pq yo lo digo y lo declaro pero en fin i hate u pinche softboy

i really wish i didn't feel the way i do about u. i can try and convince myself all i want but its not the truth. i know nothing is ever going to happen and we are only friends. you dont feel the same way. im trying my hardest to stop how i feel even if it might mean i need some distance from you. i love and miss you sm.

falling for u was a roller coaster. you made me want to die one day and the next i would realize u were one of the only things keeping me alive. i love you more than any other girl will. i know im just another one of ur hoes but ur not one of mine. and i also know that we cant be together and that kills me, but its fun to imagine what our life would be like together. ur perfect and u were by far the best thing that ever happened to me. i love you so much A.

I have loved you since the first time we spoke. It's been a year, you don't know it but I think about you every day. After months of not talking, we saw each other in the park and it felt like normal again. I know there is something between us we might not know of yet. Hopefully, we get there one day :)

i still don't understand. how could you call me the love of your life the night before you gave up on us?

de verdad te amé y te sigo amando no sabes cuantas cosas marcaste en mi vida y perdón la cague muchas veces tu no merecías eso pero de verdad me dolió que no me esperaras, aveces escucho la canción que me dedicaste y chin me gusta que seamos amigos y poder hablar como tal porfavor no me trates como tu novia porque me haces sentir mal y me haces extrañarte cuando pensé que ya te había “superado” espero que con la persona con la que estés te trate como yo debí hacerlo y conzoca lo que más te duele para tratar evitarlo, no se ahhh solo gracias por estar aún jaja

I know you‘ve never loved me and it‘s ok. But no matter where you are or who you with, I‘ll always do.

i look through these everyday to see if u submitted one about me, i have u blocked on everything, cus if i talk to u i cant move on

I still dream of you, that I could hold you and love you again forever. But you’re not the same person I fell in love with now.

i love u so much and i hate u bcs u love me and u deserve a better person not me, i m a bad person i don t deserve u or everything u do for me, i m sorry i m numb but i m sure i love u even i don t feel it, i don t feel butterflies when i see u and i want to feel more things but i can t and idk why and i m sorry i hurt u and use u and i can t tell u those things

you are either my soulmate, or my biggest mistake. I will never stop loving your stupid face. You complete me.

I thought I was over you. Now I'm not so sure. Weird, since we never talked that much at all over the years. Fuck.

Honestly, fuck you. I’m praying for a better relationship everyday with someone else bc of how bad you broke me.

3 years since we met and i’ve thought about you every day despite the amount of times i let you break my heart

A mis 15 años me enamoré de ti. Ahora, 8 años despúes, lo sigo estando y con más fuerzas pero ¿De qué sirve si estás amandola a ella?

Te quiero desde el día que te conocí, cada día te amo más y tu ni siquiera sabes lo feliz que me hace verte

tqm pero destrozaste mi autoestima, además mi ansiedad se disparó en un 500%. Brígido que no hayas creído sobre la veracidad de mi trastorno de ansiedad, diciendo prácticamente que la ansiedad no existe, siendo que ahora vas a ser psicóloga

You were not my boyfriend, or someone like that. You were the first person in my life that was like a father figure to me. Yet you left. Just like my dad. I really miss you and i want to see you again and i hope that happens soon. I miss you, im still your little princess.

maybe one day you’ll stop caring so much about what others think and tell me that ur sorry. i wish u tried.

Would you have ended the conversation the same way if you knew that it would be the last time we talk?

we never spoke in person before but i still loved you. we only spoke through a friend (who you liked and they liked you back). im really sorry that i was mean to you i never intended to hurt your feelings but i guess after sending you a few messages i started to like you a lot. you always look at me at school and i know youre looking ha but anyways ive liked you for the past 2 years. even if we never speak again i hope youre doing well and i hope the next person you decide to love is happy because they should be as they get to spend most of their time with you. from R :)