it hurts that we never got a proper goodbye. if I had known then I would've confessed the moment I met you how much you meant to me.

I still think about why you ghosted me out of nowhere. It bothers me so much and every time I get a notification, I’m always hoping it’s from you and I get sad when it’s not from you.

i wish you the best in whatever you do in live, i’m very proud of you and everything you accomplished, thank you for being my first love and my first heart break. i have nothing against you and i don’t hate you i wish you the best thank you for everything take care

Gracias por haber sido tu el primero en enseñarme lo que era el amor,ojala hubiera durado más, pero lo poco que fue lo recordare siempre y aunque tu ya no te acuerdes de mi,tu siempre tendrás un hueco en mi corazón siempre estaras conmigo.

idk if you were the right person in the wrong time but I still want to see the sunset with you while we drink whiskey with redbull

I let you in more in a month than i did other people in years. I guess plenty of room to come in means plenty of room to leave too

I knew what it meant i just wanted a reason to talk to you. (P.S. I saw your test scores. I’m smarter)

I know you more than u think but at the same time I don't know u at all. so why don't u tell me the things I don't know?

pienso en vos todos los días. fuiste mi primer amor, nunca te voy a olvidar. todavía no pude encontrarte en ninguna otra persona.

We have to talk about that one night, I’m curios towards how I make you feel and want to tell you how much you make me feel too.

I know we can’t be together, but I can’t help but wonder if you want me as much as I want you. I’m so in love with you

You know that we’re twin flames.
You say all these sweet and loving things to me and you do so much for me and you trust me, I can feel it, but I don’t know what to think or how to take them. Do you love me back? Do you want me? I know that you can’t tell me, because life won’t let us be together right now, but I just wish you would tell me how you feel about me. I don’t wanna get hurt again. Last time you hurt me so bad, I felt like I was dying, I don’t ever wanna feel that way again. I love you

I keep a screenshot of your message in my ‘recently deleted’. It’s been years and I still think about how you said you loved my eyes.

ghosting me was not the solution and i wish you would've talked to me instead. you had the right intentions, wrong execution.

i didnt bother confronting you about the other girls. The silence was my goodbye . i love you beautiful boy .

I remember you telling me not to leave when I hugged you. You were the one that left. We’ll see each other in July again maybe it will work out then, without our crazy exes. Just you and me.

I have no reason to be this in love you still... it’s like you are the one but also not the one. I try to stop thinking about you but I can’t because whenever I hear your name my heart melts.

I still can’t sleep without hugging the turtle you gave me last Christmas and using your shirt as my pillow :(

i’m so lucky you came back into my life. i love myself more because of you. i’ll follow you anywhere.

i’m so lucky you came back in my life. loving you makes me love myself more. i’ll follow you anywhere.

Tú me hiciste sentir todo y pero a la vez me hice mucho daño al enamorarme de ti, se que no tuviste culpa tú por qué nunca me demostraste ni un mínimo sentimiento. Quiero que sepas que fuiste mi primer amor y el único que he tenido y que siento demasiadas cosas por ti, te me haces el chico más buena gente, divertido, honesto, guapo, en fin muchas cosas. Creo que el destino nos junto al ponernos más de 5 años juntos, talvez no es aún nuestro momento y si el destino no tiene preparado más camino juntos es por algo y espero que tengamos una mejor mentalidad en un futuro.
P.Te quiero como no imaginas.

i knew you were playing me whenever u said u didn’t want to date. but oh god, i was in too deep already.

i’ll find you in another life .. another life where we’re happy together...i’ll find you if it’s the last thing i’ll do.

Hey! I just wanna tell you that I miss you so much, we don't talk anymore but I still think that you are my soulmate, and I'm pretty sure I will see you in my next life, you changed my life, you changed my mind, I'm still thankfull for meeting you, I will never forget you. Sometimes I just want to talk you again and just tell you all about my life, my friends, lovers, what I have planed in my life and that stuff, oh god I really miss you, but you have another best friend now and well I can't do nothing else than just wait to see you in another life. It will happen, love u always.

Why is it that we can talk about any topic in the world but we can’t talk about what’s happening with us?

i wish i would have said yes and i think about it all the time but your happier now without me so its ok ig

will your loved one caress you the way that i did?
I don’t need to know,i just want to make sure you’re okay.

You were truly my yellow. I will never forget the summer we spent everyday together. If I could go back in time I would, to relive that summer. I know that this summer we won't probably even meet but I just want to say I miss you a lot.

I think I’m a bit dramatic about the whole thing but I always felt like you cared more then you showed and it hurts more then you would think

I fear loving the way you've taught me to, you have left a void that I don't know how to recover from

I will never be able to have you and sometimes being close seems enough, but it isn't. I am tired. Purple really is our colour.

pensaba que te gustaba hablar conmigo al parecer soy tu pasa tiempos es divertido te preguntaras el k facil jugar conmigo ¿es divertido?

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to convince myself that you were looking at me. Deep down I knew she was always right behind me.

I cared and loved so much only to have us fall apart lol. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be but I wish it was.

I love you even tho you don’t love yourself, even tho u will never love the sight, sound, touch, and smile, of me, as much as i love yours...

You didn’t have to say u loved me if u didn’t mean it because in the end I truly did love u. It just wasn’t meant to be, but deep down I wish it was. I hope you find your happiness, but I hope you also know u took away mine :)

you're not my first love. in fact - you're nothing close. we never even went anywhere romantically. it was always one-sided. that's why this is white. there's no colour i associate with you because i have now come to realise that everything that has happened between us was always platonic - you love someone else. and that's okay. but it's time to let go. time to let go of this romanticised image of you i've had in my head ever since we were kids. i don't know why you out of everyone was the one my mind chose to think of and never stop. you will forever be that person, my childhood crush. i will always get those butterflies when i see you again. that night in when we were kids and dancing to mirror and unconditionally - those songs stuck with me for a reason. and that's why i think of you instantly when the first seconds of those songs reach my ears before i think of anyone else, as wrong as it may be. i want you to be forever happy. never let that smile leave your gorgeous face. i don't think you're ever going to smile for me. it's for her. and that's alright. i'm okay with everything as long as your beautiful smile stays plastered on your face. i'm pretty dumb for having this glorified image of you ever since grade school. i forgot about you, but then you came back. and i don't know why. but when you did, i just romanticised you simply because you were my childhood crush. as time passed by, i forgot about you again. but when i saw you that summer they came flooding back. i knew you were with someone and are to this day. my friends know about you. its been years and you always find a way back into my head. it's not your fault. you never felt the same and it's ok. take a shot every time i say okay. but anyway. what's done is done. my mind painted this beautiful image of you in my head thinking you were the one for me. and there's no telling you aren't. but even if you are - i don't think i'm the one for you. and yeah. you guessed it. it's okay. all of this is just word vomit. i sometimes pause and ask God why he let me do this to myself. was it all in my head? i guess i'll never know. you will forever be mirror to me. forever the kid i grew up laughing with. you made those get togethers fun. the mention of you put a smile on my face since the day i got to know your name. you became a friend, and then a best friend. now we're just strangers. you like my posts sometimes. but at heart, we both know we aren't. i'll always be your friend - and maybe that's a part of the problem. you know i'll always let you in and be there for you. and honestly, im prepared to. that's what friends are for. but you've taken up so much of my headspace that i think i just need to let go. let go of those feelings, those misunderstood, unsaid things. you will always be my friend. don't hesitate to reach out. but i need to let go of the version of myself that held you up so high. you have the most precious smile, and i see you in everyone. but you were just a lesson, just a friend. not meant to be anything more. is it bad that i don't fully believe that yet? you said you want to marry her. you love her. there probably will never be a chance to reconcile and it's okay. i used to live in the hope of us having a chance in the future. but it seems too slight to live off of anymore. maybe you aren't that childhood best friend i end up with. it's okay. my mind is at fault for thinking those things. i was a kid. it's normal to do that. but those thoughts really stuck. i have this make believe version of you and my feelings towards you in my head. you're not the one for me, you're not my rahul. i need to accept that. you're the kid i sang stereo hearts to, and the one i will always think of when certain things come up - like the song mirrors. i've always told my friends you're that one person that never leaves my mind, no matter how many years its been. but i'm in control of my thoughts. so i kept going with that fantasy but i have to stop and realise that it may not be true at all. and its even scary to let go of that fantasy - because it's taken up so much of my life, and something that feels familiar - something i've always known. maybe that's why my head stuck onto you. you're familiar, you're comfortable. you're a safe spot. your laugh is a sanctuary. but it's not meant for me. it's time to realise that. i can't hurt him because of the picture i painted of you in my head years ago as a child. i can't. i don't know if he's my rahul, or the one. but i can't keep thinking of you when i'm supposed to be thinking of others. you will always be the boy i wrote my first story about - looking back it makes me laugh. i don't know if you'll ever find this - part of me hopes you do. i doubt it. i don't know if you'll know it's towards you if you do. but either way i needed to write it for the closure i need. for the sake of myself and others. i hope it helps and i pray to God whatever happens is for the best and he helps lead my heart in the right direction. ur forever the gayest person ever. i don't think i loved you, but as a friend i always will. so there you go. i love you, mirror. you may not be my mirror or anywhere close - only God knows what the future has in store. but for now, i know for a fact you aren't. because you think of someone who isn't me when that song plays, and that's more than okay. i wish nothing but the best for you two. i hope your family is doing well - i hope you're doing well. i really hope you don't find this because it would be embarrassing to read. but you know what? it's okay. there's a bunch of submissions - you'll never know if one was ever meant for you out of all the other people that could be called the same thing. out of the billions of people in the world, you can never be sure. anyway - hope you're doing well. you seem so far but you're close. i want to check up on you but i hold myself back. hope you are the happiest ever because you deserve the world and more. hope u worked on yourself and became better for her. you will always have a special place in my heart. if you aren't married by 40 and neither am i, hit my line shordy ;).

p.s. this was all joke haha unless pls this made me so vulnerable fuck you anyway you literally are so gay.

It’s crazy that I was finally able to recover from my ED of 5 years once you left. I was too busy being gaslit to realize that you were promoting it.

its been over years yet i still can't get my mind off you. I sometimes lay in bed wondering if you ever think of me.

“Our song” is nothing but music to me now. It used to be our future, our laughs, our dreams, but now it’s just another sappy love song from the 50s.

You’re the first person I’ve ever fell for... and I although we’re on good terms I really wish you felt the same way.

I'm sorry I cut off communication with you. I'm sorry for annoying you. I'm sorry for messaging you so much. I'm sorry for being such a bother. I'm sorry I love you so much. I'm sorry I can't stop. I'm sorry I keep saying sorry. I'm sorry for everything.

It's been a while since I've talked to you. I miss you so much. They say it heals with time, but it really doesn't. Your absence from my life is like a gaping hole that only grows into a greater void each day. I don't know how I'm supposed to live without you. And I love you so very, very much. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, and I'm sorry I never got the chance to. I hope you never stop smiling, and I'll be rooting for you no matter what happens. I love you so much.

Can't help but remember you everytime I listen to the band you showed me, can't help but still be in love with you

Tío me enamore de ti y no fue justo que me hicieras tanto daño sin yo merecerlo, tengo cicatrices que me lo recuerdan todos los dias y ese dolor no se me va a olvidar nunca.

i was terrified not because i think i hadn’t tried enough, but because i knew that at that point, i had done all i could do. 

i was terrified not because i think i hadn’t tried enough, but because i knew that at that point, i had done all i could do. 

Thank you helping me reclaim my worth, for helping me heal and sticking by side until you left... i miss you.

Todavía pienso en vos. Todos los días... Sé que nadie va a poder igualarte. No puedo encontrar a alguien como vos por mucho que quiera. Todavía hay miles de cosas que nunca te dije y que me gustaría saber, todavía sigo con esa carga...

Yo sé que también sentías algo por mí. Preferiste ignorar esos sentimientos por miedo, no es nada fácil tener una relación del mismo sexo. Pero eso es lo que más me dolió, que hayas terminado con todo por miedo. Podíamos habernos apoyado. Nunca te voy a perdonar eso. Quedé atascada en ese momento. Y ahora estoy siguiendo mi vida estando con alguien más, pero sigo pensando en lo que no pudo ser. Espero que algún día al fin me dejes en paz y te vayas de mi mente. Realmente te lo agradecería.