Unsent messages to A

La verdad no fuiste mi primer amor pero junto con un par de personas me hiciste ver lo difícil que es la vida, llore muchas veces y no solo por ti sino por tus acciones y las de tus amigos intentando referirse a mi como un juego, cada vez que publico algo me siento juzgada porque vi unos chats en donde le decías a tus amigos que miren mis estados que era una exagerada etc... o cuando me invitaste a salir por pena. Andrew yo también quiero ser feliz.

it might've been the wrong time until you got used to being without me, but i still miss you everyday.

I met you and I never thought you would hurt so much. I can’t say you goodbye and that’s hurt too. I don’t know if you still love me, But why do you always stay and don't tell me what you feel?

i am sick of you getting mad at me after i try giving you advice about a situation. dont take your anger out on me, thats not fair. im not the one who hurt you, she is.

You know i was so mad at you for so long, you hurt me, you kept coming back and i was always there, i was there every 2am and then one day you stopped texting, that was that. like i never existed. like we never happened. i was so hurt and mad. for months and then you reached out. why did you reach out, why couldn’t you of just texted somebody else. because that night took me back. took me back to the night we first met. to the night we first met. i wish i didn’t say Shweep. we wouldn’t of been in that mess. i can announce something, i am over you. i am so over you. i am happy. for the most part. i am free of you. i will never waste my tears on you again. i’m over you.

today I clicked on your number and discovered that you've blocked me. i wasnt gonna reach out anw even if it was my desire, i just wanted to see your face. I know that i deserve it but still, i had some hope in my heart that things might work out.. guess i should stop being hopeful

I don't know, If I'll ever forget about you. Everytime I think I fell out of love - I think I might actually be wrong. I don't know, if I'll ever love someone the way I loved you. We don't have any contact since July but I still miss you and wish things could have been better. Now I understand that we both fxxked up, I could have handle all of these things better. I wish I could have done something about this, like push our relationship in the right direction. I haven't done anything. But I still love you and my heart is still broken and trying to recover. See you
or not.

you were the first person in my life i really wanted to be with and had the courage trying to talk to .. but I guess my imagination and expectations was higher than the reality..

i’m sorry i left you like that, i know that if i get another chance, i won’t screw it up, but i understand i don’t deserve one. i’ll allways love you.

i don’t blame you. we were young and dumb, running through the night, our hands intertwined and at some point we had to grow up and face the harsh light of the morning, we had to slow down and grow for ourselves. you had to let go of me. there is no blame just sadness our night is over.

I never took my chance in high school. We had so much fun on that school trip. it will be one of my biggest regrets for the rest of my life. If I just had the courage to say anything after then we could've been together. I liked you so much and we had such a laugh and the fact i will probably never see you again hurts me.

I know I was clingy and annoying but I thought we were soulmates and I didn't want to lose you. You broke me and took a piece of my heart which will never heal

I hope you know that if I come back to you, you only have half my heart, my other half needs to stay safe from the wreckage you cause every time I let you back in.

Don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about us, when there’s nothing to think about.. because we were nothing

i always loved you and always will and i hate myself that i never told you that. i guess its too late now. i still miss you, see you in the next life looser :)

i miss you so much and it hurts that you don‘t even care about me anymore. right person wrong time ig.

This ones gonna break me if it doesn’t work out, even tho I have the feeling he may be the one for me, but what if I’m not the one for him...

while I’m waiting for a text back, your falling in love with some other girl, and that kills me more than anything

Happy 18th birthday my love.
I wish I could celebrate this day with you but that’s not my place anymore.
Hope you have a good day. 12/12 -(?)

I really hope you text me. Even by just holding my hand and talking for 30 minutes yesterday I felt safe with you. I would’ve stayed longer but I couldn’t.

you lasted it yesterday, i know it’s not my fault but i miss you already. thank you for being my first kiss. you’re beautiful

ngl it hurt seeing you move on so fast and let everyone talk shizzle about me :) thanks for the memories ig x

I'm so sorry for everything I did, I know now that everything was my fault and you were so amazing to me, you didnt deserve that.

you weren’t my first love or any kind of love. thank you for being an amazing what could have been. please don’t break freyas heart, she’s too fragile and deserves too much and i’m worried you can’t give her that.

You don't know all the damage you made to me.
You lied to me and played simulating be my friend... But the truth is you only wanted to have good grades at university and I made all your fking stuff.

In a certain time of our friendship I felt feelings for you, 3 months ago you told me you wanted to be my bf and I didn't know how to react.
In less than a month you started dating with the first woman who demonstrated interest in you.
I think you hate me but now I want to be with you.
Fuck, we lost our friendship!!

I can’t imagine myself without you. When I’m around you I feel a different feeling, like I can be myself with you. When you talk to me it’s like the world stops. You probably never notice it but when you look at me, I get lost in your blue eyes. I can’t help myself. But I know in a month or two you will probably forget my existence.

This heavy feeling hasn't gone away.

I have tried to get used to it when I stopped talking to you.

A psychic has told me that i'm avoiding something that I don't want to think about, but it wants my acknowledgement. And that repulsion is why this feeling is attached to me, if I were to bless it, it would leave my energy field for good.

I wonder if this has happened to many people, but it seems to me that they were able to move on quick without a problem, so why is it that I don't want to break this connection? why wont you leave my mind?

I hope you didn't put a witchcraft spell on me or something lol.

Even though I haven't seen you in person for 2 years, you still have some meaning to me.

It's amazing and sad how human connection can be for different people. Feelings can strong or weak.

I've only known you for 9 months at that time but you somehow caught my interest.

Mainly I think it was because I knew you had some sort of interest in me first and that made me happy, still now i'm confused whether or not I actually liked you.

Maybe it's just limerence......

the way u cheated on me broke me in a way i never understood. i genuinely wish i had never met u and i dont wish that about anyone whos done me wrong.

I wish you would stop being so hard on yourself. You are beautiful and loved. Even if it doesn't feel like it. A lot of people care about you. I know you feel lonely sometimes but its always best to try and stay positive. You have been through a lot at a young age but you will get through it. Don't let what people tell you affect your everyday life . You are good enough, you don't need male validation in order to feel like you are worthy. Everything about you is amazing and worthy. You are a talented and amazing person.

You always come into my head at the most inopportune times. I cant listen to my favourite song without thinking of you and I hate that. I walk down the street and I see things that remind me of you, even though you’ve never walked the same streets as me. I wish I could’ve been loved by you as more than just a friend, and I know I shouldn’t still feel this way - I know it’s been months - I just can’t seem to fall out of love with you. No matter how hard I try, I know I’ll always come back to you. Sometimes I still dream about you. I love it when I wake up. But I also hate it. I still hold out hope that you’ll one day realise that it’s been me all this time, and that everyone else was just a stepping stone on our path to each other, but I know you won’t. You were always too good for me, even if you never realised it. I think on a level I will always be in love with you. Yours always.

why did i feel like i already knew you when i first met you and still it feels the same when you speak to me now

If had ever looked up i would have seen the fact the stars are spelling out all the reasons you can’t love me back

I’m in love with you and you told me you want me too, but also that you can’t stay with me.
It hurts so bad

I believe we’re meant to be together...you’re my person and we’ll find are way back to each other.. we always do

How regrettable that you forgot how you loved me. It was wonderful. I'm still here...
What if I wasn't?

recuerda la promesa que me hiciste, que ibas a ir conmigo nos ibamos a ir juntos a tener un lindo futuro con nuestros sueños cumplidos

I haven't spoke in a while about you but i was remembering the first time we met it was at school i looked up and you was there.... Love at first sight! :(

I've had a crush on you since the 6th grade. I'll never admit that to you since we have been friends for over 10 years and I would never want to mess that up. I don't know why my heart had to choose you, but ever since it did I haven't been able to have feelings for anyone else. Whenever you would ask me who I liked I would always make up people, but all along I knew it was you. 3 years later and I think I have finally moved on and accepted the fact that you would never feel the same towards me. Deep down a part of me thinks that our friendship will never be the same and that's all my fault. I'm so sorry if I act weird around you now.

I know you'll be back and I want to treat you the way you treated me but I don't have the heart to do it. I know you'll just see me as a stupid girl that's always there for you

You are either the person I'm going to end up, or the person who's going to ruin my perspective of love

And somehow I'm searching for my name in the abyss of these messages, holding hope that maybe you sent one too?

How the fuck do we just become strangers again? Like my name in your mouth didn't feel right. Like our plans weren't real. I miss you. I'm sorry

i fell in love with you but you never noticed so i give up meanwhile you where smiling and having fun

hey i just wanna know how your doing:) how are you, im so alone right now. I need you, i think i do. what more can it take for you to understand that i like you. how many signs were there? i like you and i really hoped in my dreams that you would have the same feelings but it looks like you dont. you text a lot of girls and you have long conversations. when we texted you had to go and there was nothing there. im trying to move on its hard though because i thought i had you last year but thats it.
goodbye

I looked like an idiot loving you. you cheated on me, lied, and literally just sucked. I wish the worst upon u.

i would stop everything in my life to make sure you were happy, but you wouldn't even ask me 'how are you?'

though it has been a week , and you may be mad at me . please understand . you promised me and i believed you , because i love you . we messed up and things will never be the same...ever

yes i miss you but i’ve learned that i miss the thought of who you used to be and not who you are. wish you the best :)

I know i don’t need u, but every time i try to let u go it seems as though u find your way back to me.