Unsent messages to ALEX

you'll never realize how much i love you. i love everything about you.. id do anything to have you back. you're the love of my life. until we meet again, loser❤️

i've written like 10 of these already.
i love you and i miss you.
i don't understand why you ignore me.
i guess thats whats best for both of us.

Fuck you fuck you 500 times over and over again I fucking hate you i’m trying so hard to stay you make it so difficult so fuck you

Yes Im fat Yes I'm ugly Yes I'm poor but you don't have to said stuff like that. You don't have to bully me EVERYDAY. Yes I do cut myself so what? I just want the pain to go away I just want to be loved by someone.

thanks for helping me enjoy my own company surrounded by the little things I wanted to enjoy with you

hello~! i can finally say i don't like you anymore without lying! did you know that it has been around 6 years when i first realised my feelings for you? anyway, i hope you have a fun celebration for new year's eve!

Dijiste que siempre fuera a ti cuando estuviera triste, pero como te lo cuento si por tu culpa estoy asi.

alex if you ever see this i need you to know i loved you too. i should’ve said it back. i should’ve tried harder. just know that i loved you and your green room and cosmo. i’ll be here for you. forever and always.

love, kam

Fui una idiota por dejarte ir. Pero vi como te brillaban los ojos con ella... Vi como sonreía nuevamente y no tuve el valor de destruir tú sonrisa... lamento no ser lo que un día prometí pero espera y ella pueda ser tu futura esposa

you’re one of the most selfish people I’ve ever met but I still love you so much and I probably always will

I actively dislike you. I'd forgive the self-centeredness and pretentiousness, if you weren't also so goddamn boring to be around. Gain a bit of introspection; the world does not revolve around you.

i miss being able to talk to you but now every time i see you it hurts, it feels like we would never go back to way we were

there is so much i wish i could say to you. i just want you to know that you are a bitch and when i see you in person im slapping ur fake eyelashes off your face and make you wish u never fucked with me. you are a ugly ugly liar. manipulator. i hate u and ur bald ass head. eat shit they them bitch. kys

I let you hurt me for a long time. Someday you’ll realize what you missed, but you won’t get a second chance.

I miss what we had, I miss giving each other silly updates about our days, I miss being excited for you to visit, I miss sleeping with you and if I had a nightmare how you would pull me close and make me feel safe. I miss you, all of you.

please don't hurt me. i like you so much i don't want to feel pain again. thank u for the presents, your biscuits are amazing :)

Como nos conocimos fue algo muy bobo. Me preguntaste si podia ver al cocodrilo que mi amigo tenia en su hombro, en realidad era una iguana pero yo te segui el juego, Hablar contigo era lo mas divertido que podia hacer, el como bailamos ese dia varas veces tu tan lindo y encantador conmigo. Cielos amaba estar contigo pero la pandemia hizo que no volvieramos a hablar y te extraño.

telling a girl you'll never stop loving them and then two months later saying you don't love them is incredibly fucked up... like there is so much more to say but literally fuck u, you knew exactly what you were doing to me

Fuiste la primera persona a la que pude amar después de lo que pasó y nunca creí que me ibas a hacer sentir tantas cosas.
Nunca creí que iba a pasarme noches enteras pensando en verte, abrazarte, en sentir paz estandon a tu lado.
Me da miedo que en persona me veas y no te guste, como te dije, no tengo un cuerpo perfecto y no quiero decepcionarte; eso me carcome la cabeza.
Cuando me llega un simple mensaje tuyo, sonrío de oreja a oreja y me late el corazón a mil; cuando me decís mi amor, cuando me decís te amo, mi cuerpo se llena de alegría, de amor, de vos.
Te amo y te considero uno de mis más grandes amores.

I hate that you did this to me. I hate that you turned out to be everything you promised you wouldn’t and then said I was crazy when In reality I was right and you just didn’t have the balls to own up to your own mistakes. I hate you for what you did but at the end of the day I know I’d still always be here for you if you needed it.

you were truly the love of my life. nothing else will ever compare. if I could make things right again, I would

Learn to be alone, then get attached to someone and then been dumped, isn't the most unfair thing. The most unfair thing is that I've been here for more than a year and still, you can't see me.

You are the type of unconditional love I read about, I'm sorry time has roughened us up and we'll never be able to be together

you helped me find myself in a time of such confusion and uncertainty. now all i want is to see us grow together, you're my passion, you're my world

i could have loved you forever and yet you still had the nerve to break my heart. now you’ll never have me

Merci pour ces quelques mois de purs bonheur. Pour rien au monde je n'aurais changé quoique ce soit. Malheureusement à cause de ces pensées négatives (auxquelles je ne te ferais jamais part) je me suis trouvé dans un mauvais endroit et je dois travailler sur moi-même avant de travailler sur un "nous". Je sais que tu me comprends et je suis si heureuse d'avoir pu rencontrer une personne aussi vraie, généreuse, attentionné, pure et douce que toi
Tu es réellement une bonne personne pleine de talents. J'espère que tu arriveras à voir ça par la suite. Je te souhaite tout le bonheur et l'amour du monde parce que tu le mérites plus que quiconque. Merci pour tout et à une prochaine fois peut-être. ^^
A. Xoxo

It has been 191 days since you first began to leave, and 181 days since you left permanently. After all this time I am finally over you. Fuck you for what you did, but thank you for making me better.

You made me feel unlike no other.. I wonder if I’ll ever feel that same way with another soul... I hope you are well

i hate everything about you yet you're always on my mind. i'd be so much happier if i'd never met you

i wish i could tell you how much you really hurt me. but i won’t because i know it wasn’t your intention.

i know you probably dont want to talk to me but i just want to let you know that i will always be here for you and i miss you so much . you have changed my life and make me so happy and i want you to be happy . you are still my favourite even if im not yours. thank you for everything i will remember everything forever . lilkpx

I just want you to be even, if that means without me then I guess I will have to learn to live like that. You're still my person and it breaks me that I can no longer share all the little things with you. Thank you for letting me experience true happiness. I hope one day you find your way back to me. keep safe bubba. i miss you

i did'nt tell you this because after what you did you didn't deserve to hear it..but i loved you, and this is me finally letting you go, 7 months later.

i really thought that maybe i was in love. i wasn’t. i was naive, i’ll think of you always, but you won’t think of me

i miss you very much and i hope that one day you will come back i hope youre happy . im sorry if i ever did anything and i hope you are happy even if its not with me and i will always be here for you. thank you for all the memories and everything . blueberry

i’ve had feelings for you for longer than i can remember. all it took was one meeting and it’s all come back again. i’m going to get attached again. please don’t break my heart.

i am so sorry i couldn’t do long distance, we would of been perfect and i wish you had never blocked me, i miss you freckles❤️

i really do love you with all my heart. i never thought i could be so attached to someone. please don’t leave me ever. i know you’re my person. but i don’t think i’m yours.

This was your fav color. i’m sorry that i wasn’t her. i hate you but i still love you. don’t forget me :(

i’ve been writing to u on here for years. i still cant move on. you make it impossible for me to move on when you give me so much false hope all the time. i really love you alex. wish i wasnt so hopeful.

Honestly, you were my longest crush. You’re not someone I could easily forget. I was stupid with you and I wish I would’ve been confident.

my blood on your hands, but you were too coward to dress my wounds. said it hurt you too much to watch me bleed

you were my bestfriend but things cant go back to that we both changed. i miss what we had besties forever. ill never forget about you like i promised. ever alex i love you so much ill do anything for you bestie. i hope you find your happiness.

my friends tell me to block you, but your voice messages still being me comfort. even if it’s the same voice that said you had never loved me

I don't know if you're reading this somewhere but I really hope you are. Alex I really miss you. I'm never going to forget you. You're the closest thing I had to a relationship and I wouldn't change that for the world. People told me it was stupid to love you and although that could've been true, I did anyways. You left me alone in this bitch of an Earth and you expect me to be okay? You think I'm going to survive without you by my side? I finally felt loved when you told me that you liked me. I felt like I mattered to someone. I didn't care that I was just a rebound from my best friend. I didn't care because I had someone to love me and that was all I needed. But you left. You left me alone without even thinking about what I'd have to experience without you. I'm hanging on by a thread Alex and you left me alone. I miss you so much but I'm so mad at you for leaving me alone. Everytime I hear something that reminds me of you, I break down and I can't help but remembering you and the way you could always make me smile after the worst of days. I love you and I miss you Alex.

i wish i was still with you. i miss getting your hugs. i miss holding your hand at competitions. i miss dancing in the dark upstairs as if my parents weren't downstairs. i miss you.

everday my mind tries to convice i no longer love u. i wish it was that easy. im sorry i hurt i truly never meant to

i put too many expectations on us and that's on me. but honestly we're so much better as friends and that's all that matters.

Two things you've said to me will always stick. Asking me "what song is stuck in your head" instead of "what are you thinking about" and "Im not obligated to talk to you"

Secret: I have loved you my whole life, I've just been too scared to tell you because its always the wrong time with us.