Unsent messages to ALEX

I cant wait to marry you

its always you, isnt it?

I miss you.

I will always wait for you, my forever love

I wish u didn’t move on so fast

you are a nice person. you know that right?

i am so sorry for everything. i think about you all the time. you deserved so much better, i will always love you. i'm happy that you've found someone who treats you right.

Your feelings were never one-sided. I was scared, so I lied. I am so sorry I hurt you. I wish we were still friends.

sometimes i wonder why her over me. you guys are good together, i’m happy for you. i just miss what we had together.

We are best friends forever. It physically hurts how much I miss you. I didn't think you missed me. I'm here for you.
-I think you know

I don't know how to feel about you, you've been my best friend since childhood. Would we ever work? I don't want to look back and regret what could have been. I think that no matter what, a little piece of my heart will always belong to you

I wanted to give you all I had but unfortunately at the time all I had was hatred and numbness I thought you fixed it but in reality you took it with you.

i wouldn’t say you were my first love but you were my first kiss. if i’m being honest you’re prolly one of the only guys i feel comfortable talking to and being completely open especially in our conversations. i don’t see us in a romantic relationship but i feel like i could always talk to you about anything. anyways go get those college girls you love lol

It sucks to know I'm what you wanted but not what you needed. I'm sorry I ended things so abruptly but at the end of the day, it's better for both of us.

Do you tell him the same stuff you told me? About being the best partner you've ever had? About not wanting to lose him? About wanting him in your future? Does he know how fickle your love is?

hey, i'm sorry for what i did. we both hurt eachother. i tried but it didnt work. you meant alot to me. you were the only person i trusted with almost everything. i wish you told me. hope we can work it out in the future. just know i promised you id always be there to help. and i dont break promises. even though i cut us off i still miss you. and i dont know how your the one okay without me. it sucks seeing myself replaced but ill suck it up. it just hurts seeing you guys doing all the same things we did before. never thought i would miss you. its not that fair. its almost like they flaunt you to me. maybe im just imagining it but everytime i talk to them they talk about everything you guys do together which makes me feel worse. but im not gonna say anything cause they are the only friend i have. i dont know if i hate you or love you.

you re my best friend and i hope it will stay like that forever even though we push others away for this

This is why i didn't want to put my all into you! bc i knew that it wasn't going to last but you made me both happy and sad. You were difficult but i didn't give up on you, you did and i can't stay if you won't help yourself or let me help.

i don’t care how bad you were for me or how shit you made me feel i loved you and i still do everyday and you made me think you felt the same and now all i do i miss you.

we have been through a lot, but you only saw me as your ex's classmate even though I knew you before her

i fucking hate you for what you did to me but the truth is that I still fall asleep thinking about you

the fireworks they talk about in the movies when you kiss someone? I thought it was bullshit. until I met you.

I've met someone. He's really great and treats me well and I want to tell you about him. I'm becoming myself again and I wish you could see that.

Maybe it's beacuse you were older that I look back and it feels wrong. I really hope that you actually meant what you said and that I wasn't just a naive innocent girl being used :((

So I guess that's it, huh? Just take care of yourself. I'm still rooting for you even if you hate me.

you were the best thing to ever happen to me, but the worst thing you did was convince me you could handle my bpd. only to leave when i showed signs of it. i will always miss you and feel guilty but i will always despise the way you left.

It sucks how every day I would wake up and love you effortlessly and now I have to wake up and force myself to not care about you.

you’ve got a girlfriend now, i’ve never moved on. i hate the way i feel about you because i know you don’t feel the same anymore. i miss you, come back

You never knew I liked you because everyone thought I was in love with your friend. But I was honestly in love with you. I never got the chance to tell you though. But honestly, I’m okay with that. I hope that wherever you are, you’re happy.

I hate that I cared for you and you ignored it. I hate that you dated all of my friends and broke their hearts too. You’re so egotistical and you don’t care about any of us anymore. And yet, I still wish that you truly find yourself. I hate that I can’t hate you.

You loved me so obsessively, you made me think that was what I wanted. you are the shittiest most baseless person I have ever met. You pressured me, you manipulated me, you fucked me over. You are my first love and I wish I could take that back. I wish I could hug you, but instead I am forced to hate you, and hate the person you turned me into.

I honestly wish I had never met you.

I'm sorry for not realizing how much you meant to me while we were still in that strange phase that we never got out of....even tho you seemed to have wanted to get out of that phase.

i miss the you that didn't make me feel like something to be used. i hope you're happy with your new friends.

I think about you all the time and I miss you terribly but it hurts feeling like you don't care about me enough to check in

You know I look at this website and I know that you do too so leave me something here so I know that you don't hate me because both of our egos are too big to text first

Im so in love with you but your probably just using me until you find the perfect girl you dont love me you just like the attention that i give you but maybe im just overthinking or maybe im right . Please dont leave me im trying to hard to make you happy even if its not working if you leave me then im done i really love you but i dont know if you love me back your super important to me. I hate that you have a girl bestfriend and i hate that you have a nickname for her it just hurts. You caused me a bit of pain but im still here like i always promised, My love for you is infinite and i will never stop loving you no matter what. I cannot imagine living without you. It also hurts about how many girls you follow they're so beautiful and they make me feel insecure. I wish i could send you this but you wouldn't understand .

I just wished you knew how i felt abt you but you still left anyways and you were there when it was rough and now you’ve made it worse by leaving me alone now i don’t know how to live with you .

last night i had a panic attack and the only reason it stopped was because i held the necklaces you gave me

you took your problems out on me even though i dont think i deserved that but i still lived you because i also knew you the way most people didn’t understand and i understood that loving you was gonna be hard but i thought you were worth it im sorry i wasn’t enough though i really love you and still really want a future with you because no matter how life we talk i know you made me feel the safest in your arms and you made me feel beautiful in my own body and i will never be able to repay you for the confidence you gave me i miss you and hope one day we meet

You played me I love you and I still do and you never really loved me or liked me did you? Did you even want to be in a relationship and if not why would YOU ask ME out because you know I love you and you know how you felt but you didn’t care but maybe you did know how you felt but it’s still not an excuse to hurt me like that because I truly love you and I think about you every night and I think about us and what we COULD have been and I just cry please wake up and realize what you had please because I’m done with you I just want know what I want I want to stop caring about you and caring about how much I love you but I also need to realize what we used to have is over and I can’t ever go back to you again in fear of getting hurt

You really mean a lot to me but I just don’t want to hurt u because I’m a bad person you deserve better I love you so much you literally make me so happy but like I just think you deserve someone better thank u for always making me smile I love the way we talk lol Ik we are kinda dry to each other but I like it is simple you really mean a lot to me

fuck you. i texted you for months caring abt you and you always made up lies. not once did u reach out to me again.

Debiste decirme desde el inicio que no sentías nada por mi... Me hubiera ahorrado todas estas lágrimas y decepciones.... Te odio porque se que aún te amo a pesar de todo...

I have some thoughts about breakups. One of the reasons it gets easier with time is that you begin to forget. I started to forget what you looked like. The other day I went to my camera roll to check my new class schedule and I went to my "liked" photos because that's where I save photos that I know I will need often. I hadn't added my new class schedule yet. But there was one other picture, it was you. When Oliver came. You had him on your shoulder and you were looking like your usual goofy self. It hurt, but the biggest thing is it didn't kill. Something like that would've killed me earlier. But I saw that 4 months after so it only stung. Also with time everything that reminds you of them just becomes normal things again. Driving in my mom's car no longer had the feeling of "Going to see Alex" it was just "Driving my mom's car". Don't get me wrong there are still small things that I rarely do that remind me of you. Last time I went to Walmart I remembered you. Because the time before it was when you were in Jamaica and you called me while I wasn't home with 2% battery so I raced home so I could call you back and talk to my baby. Also, I never clean my glasses, but I just did and I remember when I told you that and you took them from me, cleaned them, then put them back on me. I miss you pooh-bear. Please come back before it's too late.

i dont understand why you had to leave me. just because i didn’t want them to die. we could’ve had the world.

I really liked you.In that city full of pieces of shit i found you.You said you care ab me but then u decided we are not worth even a shot. You ruined our friendship and now u are best friend with my best friends and it kills me

Though its been 4 years since you've been gone. its you want when i'm with him. And you have no idea.

I hope your doing well. I miss you. I think ive moved on. Thank you for teaching me so much about love and myself.

It hurts me that you seem so fine after everything, all the things we planned and promises we made. You promised me the whole world, we planned our life out together and you left with what seemed like no hesitation or desire to stay. I guess in the end I really did love you more.

you were the right person at the wrong time. i’m sorry. i should’ve told you how i felt. now i cant even text or unblock you because of fear.