alex i will always love you. i know you never felt the same about me, but i cant seem to fall out of love with you.

You taught me to love. But you taught me that love was when the things you hate about a person become the things you love. I thought I was so wise when I thought that back then. In reality, I was so broken.

I wanted to give you all I had but unfortunately at the time all I had was hatred and numbness I thought you fixed it but in reality you took it with you.

do you think i’m so fascinated by him because he remind me of you? and maybe if i understood him i could finally understand you?

You told me I wasn't a priority to you, but I should have been. I'm worth so much more than what you gave me.

Thank you for showing me that I can do better, be loved and deserve love. Thank you for showing me there's more to life than waiting. You made me happy and I hope life turns the best for you.

I don't know how to feel about you, you've been my best friend since childhood. Would we ever work? I don't want to look back and regret what could have been. I think that no matter what, a little piece of my heart will always belong to you

Alex please. I miss you. I wish you would be honest w me and not message me only when u want something. I miss your love. I miss everything about you. I love you more than anyone I’ve ever met. I wish we could talk like normal people and not when we’re fucked up. I miss our endless conversations. When you made me feel so special. Idk what happened but ur not the same person you were at the beginning of the year. You called me worse than him. Wtf you know everything I’ve been through. Why wouldn’t you be kind? I wish you would message me kind things again. I lived for you. And you fucking dropped me. I just miss u so much.

Fuck you. did i ask you if you could finger me? no you fucking didnt and you did it anyway after me saying no so many fucking times and then you fucking make me grab your dick without asking if i wanted to?! you're a messed up piece of actual shit

romance isn't for us but your friendship is unreal. why was it difficult for you to call me beautiful?

Realmente me gustaba, por qué hizo eso? pudo simplemente decirme la verdad desde que empezó y evitarme que saliera lastimada de esa manera :)
Espero que después de estos años, esté siendo feliz.

one guy made me realize my worth by acting like i wasn’t worth anything. you stepped in and showed me what my real worth was and i am so thankful for you.

my blood on your hands, but you were too coward to dress my wounds. said it hurt you too much to watch me bleed

u made me fall for you. at first i just thought you were cute, and then you called me cute, talked about me to my friends, and asked to hangout. that’s when i fell for you. after you asked to hang out you didn’t even talk to me much. what happened? i’ve seen how many girls you snap. and how so many of them are so much prettier than me, it makes me start to think that i’m not worthy. that you could do so much better than me. i’m tryna get over you but it’s so hard. don’t even know why i fell for you in the first place, but here we are now.

I didn’t love you in the way most here did. I loved you as a friend, and it hurt me every time you told me you were leaving me behind, but i had to smile and laugh it off. I knew eventually the day would come when you were gone from this world, i just couldn’t bear to think it. This is in black because although some people have connotations of violence with it, it always felt so peaceful to me, and i know it did to you You’re valid Alex. Ellie is dead.

i wish things could have been diff honestly. like from the start i fucked up. i honestly think we’re meant for each other i miss u. let’s hope our paths cross again and we can start over.

Just because you’ve removed yourself from me, doesn’t mean I have removed myself from you, I miss you AS

Its all ridiculous and I won't put up with it. Running away sounds so reasonable and wanted. All I want to do.

I told you how much I loved to cuddle, so you made aspirations with me and then left before we got the chance.

All i remember is u were my first kiss, and then u moved to Australia, and I still follow u. I haven’t really thought about u until they mentioned ur name and then I looked at ur insta. Hope ur well

its weird to think im the only one who was so invested you said I'm taking this too seriously really? you didn't care? why didn't you unfollow me straight away why not why are you so hard to love.

Hey Alex, I never thought I would be writing this but oh well- anyways, I love you so much and please come back I miss you :(

everytime I miss you, I get your hoodie n smell it in hopes to get the last remaining scent out of it. I miss you too much

i don’t know if i love you, but i really like you. i enjoy our constant bickering at work and how supportive you are of me. you are one of a kind

you never knew how i fell for you, we were close but the amount of pain you caused me allowed me to block you with no hesitation and now you're dating my first love. don't hurt him, that is all i ask.

I’m still in love with you. I want to be better for you. And even if you’ve moved on, I’ll come back.

I’m still in love with you. I want to be better for you. And even if you’ve moved on, I’ll come back.

Honestly, you were my longest crush. You’re not someone I could easily forget. I was stupid with you and I wish I would’ve been confident.

i’ve been writing to u on here for years. i still cant move on. you make it impossible for me to move on when you give me so much false hope all the time. i really love you alex. wish i wasnt so hopeful.

This was your fav color. i’m sorry that i wasn’t her. i hate you but i still love you. don’t forget me :(

I need a guy like you, but also someone who has time for me and would come see me as much as I would want to see you. I feel like I'm not the person you want to be with.

I'm sorry. I do deeply miss you even though it's been a year since we were together. I hope you're much happier now. I love you :(

i really do love you with all my heart. i never thought i could be so attached to someone. please don’t leave me ever. i know you’re my person. but i don’t think i’m yours.

wow alex you are something else i remember so much like when you told me you took xans and acid and this was before you took more shit but i knew you were lonely but i couldn't do anything because i ment nothing to you yes we talked a lot and i was best friends with your sister but stuff happens i just feel so alone i sound pathetic but it's true and i did what i did so the pain would go away all the shit that i did. all the crying nights turned into drinking and other shit i'd rather not share but i loved you so much but you made me hate myself so much more than i already did and it was unexplainable the pain i went through those 7 months. i saw you with so many girls but now you're manic and can't fidn yourself and i wish i could help you but i can't find myself either i lost myself 3 months ago and its all a blur. i'm sorry the pain you went through those 2 weeks but you can't be making everything public you'll realize you fucked up. but i'm here if you ever need to vent to me. i remember the night i fell out of love i did your eyeliner that day but i also was texting phoenix he means so much to me too because he knows what i go through and you don't know anything about me. i love him so much and i know you don't care because you don't like me and i don't understand why you hated that i barely talked like im sorry that im scared i dont live up to peoples expectations goodbye

I miss your touch. I miss your kisses. I miss the way you would hold me at night. I miss you. Why'd you leave me.

We were really young but the times I spent with you were the happiest in my life I wish I could go back to that

We are best friends forever. It physically hurts how much I miss you. I didn't think you missed me. I'm here for you.
-I think you know

hey man, whats up. i know you have always been that stupid basic, racist, sexist white boy. i realised you made me feel like shit about myself and how i wasnt good enough to be a first choice and guess what it still follows me to this day. im not mad but i may have been obsessed with you a little. was it even love or was i obsessed? in any case the memory of you asking her out is still in my head. hope youre doing mediocre.

Sometimes I wonder if you actually liked me back. I wonder if you were actually worth my time. I deeply have a connection with you but idk if that connection resonates with you too. You have hurt me with your words without me even knowing, and have hurt many others. I still cant seem to get over your wavy brown hair, and icy blue eyes. Its almost like you have been sculpted by the gods. You are perfect in so many ways but im still not good enough. You always have something to say about other people, and those words hurt. You dont deserve my love but you get it anyway. You are the only one who i have felt such a strong connection too. We are so similar yet so different. If we ever got together i would never ever do anything to hurt you. You are the one who controls what happens. i wish i was yours alex younger...

When you left me it broke me in pieces. You where my first love. You took a piece of me when you left. I hope she makes you happy and you never leave her.

alex, i will honestly never understand why you wouldn't give me a chance to love you. you kept me around for so long. i thought you weren't like everyone else, but how could you do that to me if you actually cared about me. i told you i didn't believe anyone could love me, that every relationship is going to turn bad. you told me to read some romantic novels, but why couldn't you have shown me what it feels like to be loved? you were the problem, i always apologised for getting upset, but you never apologised for making me upset. i would have done anything for you, for a year a half i lived my life for you. you consumed me. i wait all day for you to message me when you're ignoring me for hours. when my phone buzzes and i see your name my heart skips a beat, it still does. i get so excited to see what you have to say to me, but its never enthusiastic, its always a dry reply because you just don't care. i try so hard to keep the conversation going by saying something you can reply to. but i just don know how much more i can give you of myself, where did it go wrong? why did you lose your feelings for me? why do i like you so much if im not even allowed a chance with you?

je crois que tu sauras jamais a quel point tu me rendais heureuse quand tu me textais. Tu me manques. Quand on se parlait jusqu'a trois heures du matin, tu me faisait découvrir une partie de moi que je ne connaissait pas; mon côté tendre, heureux, qui aime écouter, qui est prête à découvrir toutes sortes de choses, mon côté amoureux. Chaque jour, une bataille contre moi même pour m'empêcher de te texter, de te demander si j'ai fait quelque chose pour que tu me parle plus, si j'ai fait quelque chose qui t'a déçu, si tu t'es tanné de moi. Je sais pas pourquoi malgré tout cela, je m'endors chaque soir, espérant qu'un jour tu sera a côté de moi et tu me chanteras notre chanson préférée dans mon oreille pour m'aider a dormir. Ton sourire est suffisant pour éclairer l'immense pièce sombre qui est mon esprit et mon coeur. Je sais pas ce qui m'arrive, je te connais même pas, à part que je sais que tu adores le gélato à la framboise, les hamburgers, le gatorade jaune, la musique heavy métal, le emo rap, les ribs du st-hub, les animés, lil peep et tracy, le hockey, les tattoos, les e-girls, le country, que t'es un redneck de cantley (j'aime bien). Que t'es loyal, et que parfois t'a de la misère a te controler. Je crois que je me rappelle de tout les compliments que tu m'a dit, et même si ils ne sont pas incroyablement nombreux, ils valaient tout l'argent du monde pour moi. Ugh j'aimerais te parler. Pourquoi je peux JAMAIS me détacher de toi après plus de deux ans à t'aimer sans retour? Est-ce que c'est dieux qui m'envoi un signe de ne pas abandonner? D'être patiente, de t'attendre? No fucking idea. Par contre, je sais que j'en ai encore longtemps à penser à toi chaque jour. Je t'aime à l'infini, idk why. prend soin de toi petit emo boy. je t'aime zalexipou.

i'm really glad you're doing well now, i know you haven't thought about me in months. i think about you almost every day.

je suis heureux que j’ai eu la chance d’être l’amour de votre vie une fois, et im heureux qu’elle est maintenant

Alex, kind of a bummer how things turned out. I don't think we got the timing right. I'm glad we're still friends.

thankyou for being there, although the only time you text me is when you're horny, thank you for listening anyways.

Honestly, I hate you. You took advantage of me when I was at my lowest, and I will never forgive you for that. I know you are hurting rn, and as awful as it sounds, im glad. Now you know what it is like to have someone use you just for fun. You are so selfish.

I’m glad I met you bc you are the boy version of me. we met at work and you have always been there for me and I’m happy about that but I always wished we were more. thanks for all the funny and stupid nicknames. love you.

all i think is that its unfair that when you were the one to fuck up twice you're now the one who's in a new relationship? doesn't make sense,

It’s really difficult trying to carry on here without you, I miss you. I know you don’t miss me though