Unsent messages to SAM

we wouldve lasted but you could never tell your friends to back off. the words they said to me hurt i dont know how you couldnt get that through your thick skull

thank you for showing me what real heartbreak is, and teaching me to never let anyone as close to me as you were. Now I can't trust anyone anymore and I'm broken inside

You still got a million reason to hesitate. I gave you a million reasons to walk away. I wanted to hold your hand while we're growing up. You did so much for me when I was half the women for you. Thank you and I don't know how I can ever thank you. You have me the best years. You were a dream and I can't thank you enough. Was I a monster? What did your family think of me? Did they hate me? I'm not gonna lie I hated myself. Those I love you's I sent you those nights. I didn't mean them and there is no possible way I can fix that mistake. I didn't love you Sam because I didn't love myself.

we haven't talked in ages & I know we shouldn't , u were just another asshole but i can't forget u , we never dated but it felt like u were the one for me no matter what i always want to go back to u

i kinda like you tho idk i get jealous when u talk abt other people but its fine and u made me cry happy tears!!!!

sometimes i think i’m okay. i think that you’re an asshole and i’m better off without you. but then the memories flood back. our song starts playing. and i realize that i’m never really going to recover. i’m never gonna have a love like ours again. so wholehearted and devoted. and yet you still fucking lied to me. fuck you sam.

sorry i was an idiot today. my past trauma effects how I interact with female young adult authority figures. I'm not sure why. but I was being manipulated by my anxiety by ignoring you and pushing you away when I did that with someone else it was happening with and that blew up in my face. so I know what to do now. I'm better prepared.

I always wonder what you were thinking that night. It felt like you wanted to kiss me. I’ll never know because I was too scared

I wish we got a better chance. Even though losing you ripped my heart into millions of pieces, I would do it all again if it meant I could have you. Unfortunately for me, I will always love you.

Honestly, I'm not even sure I like you, but for some reason, I always think of you. You always in the back of my mind, a thought waiting to be thrown into my mind for the millionth time. People tell me bad things about you, but I still think of you. I think of you when I wake up, when I'm eating, when I'm crying, even when I'm sleeping. Maybe your my soulmate. If you are, you might feel the same way.

i wish you would just tell me what you want. im tired of this stupid fucking limbo we're playing. do you actually want me, or am i just wasting my time.

I only just started to believe how much you loved me and then you got up and left like I was nothing. Like everything I had never told anyone but you was nothing. You expect me to be okay.

The colour of your backpack the first day you picked me up from school, the day it all began, the day I fell for you. I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t like you, I did it because I knew you didn’t like me anymore

I’m so in love with you I wish you knew how much. Everyday it’s so hard because there’s always sometimes that happens that reminds me that you’re not in this the same as me, you don’t love me the same. All I want is for you to wake up one day and appreciate me and love me how I want to be loved how I deserved to be. Being away from you was tough but recently I’ve been thinking maybe it is for the best maybe this is what I need when you were away it distracted me from the fact you don’t care about me as much as I want as much as I deserve I think it’s because you were here to remind me of all the things you don’t do or all the things I wish you would. I’m just lying here wondering why I’m not good enough to be loved it’s not fair it’s the worst feeling ever how I’m so much more in love with you than you are with me.

hey, I really miss you. You brought me out of my dark place. I'll always love you my sweat boy.
Why did you end things? We were so happy.

thank you for being you. i truly miss you every day, and if circumstances were different, we could have made it

bruh i'm not gonna lie, it hurts to see you post pictures with her, mostly because when we were together you never posted me. i hate that you make me care about dumb stuff like this, i'm not usually the type of person who cares about that. but it felt like you were trying to hide me, and i wonder almost every day if you two were seeing each other when we were still together. is that why she's the only one of your friends i never met? funny thing is i'm genuinely happy for you guys. i can tell that she makes you really happy. so much time has gone by and i don't care about you quite like i used to, plus i see now that we just aren't meant to be together, regardless of how much we like each other – it just doesn't work. i know all this, but damn, i really had fun with you. i loved being with you. those three months were honestly some of the happiest of my life. love you forever, wondering why you stopped reaching out, hoping we'll see each other this month, n.

Hey, I know you won’t see this. But I really like you. I cant stop thinking about you and i wish you liked me back. Yes we’re only 13 but I’ve never had such a massive crush on anyone before. I seriously like you but I cant tell you.

I wish I didn’t care about u? I know one day we’ll end up together but damn.... Why do you have to treat me like shit when I love u so much. But then again a part of me is just wondering if it’s just me

you might have been the first person that i ever loved. i would have never admitted it but looking back i know that much was true. then you took my trust and destroyed everything. your name is still bitter in my mind but it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it used to. i hope that you're doing well and know that a part of me still misses you and that i know you're sorry for what you did and i'm sorry too.

I wish you would think about me the way I think about you. how when you look up and smile my heart stops a little. how your eyes and presence just makes me fumble over my words. That no matter how much I try to get over you. you keep me up at night making cute little senerios in my head. I can't find why I like you knowing you will never like me the same way. but I can hope.

Hi Sam. I just wanted to say that you are the love of my life and 3 years on not a day goes by where I don’t think about you

You have no idea how much I regret our breakup. I miss you but I know you don't love me anymore. I'm sorry.

She’s great, beautiful, kind etc. But also my best friend. It could’ve ended differently but I guess things happen for a reason.

I cried when I cut you off. There's a part of me that wishes you'd come back but you were never mine :/

It’s been absolutely years. I still feel so attached to you, but I know it’s nothing to you now. You have a hold on me and I think it’s for a reason, but I can’t keep crying wondering why I still have this hold.

I’m sorry i couldn’t fall for you.. I haven’t moved on from my past yet. if I could change the way I felt I would.. I wish I could’ve fell for you.. you seem wonderful.

Sam, dont give Up, i know you lossed all your hope to live but Man.. You can with that dont try it again i will miss you so much dude

It's been 2 years, why do i still love you? I was the one to let you go and now i can't get you back.

it would've been our two years today. i sometimes look through the submissions under my name to see if you wrote me any. i don't even think you know about this site, i just like to think that you still miss me. do you ever wish we got each other in a different life? we seemed so perfect; being with you was all i wanted to do. too bad you were a manipulative, insecure, lying piece of shit. maybe in a different life, you'd treat me the way you always promised you would.

Those first few weeks were amazing, huh? But I need to stop holding on to the potential of who I thought you were.

I want to wish you all the best but that would be a lie. I really don’t wish you the best, I hope you live miserably like you made me live for 5 years. C

Désolé pour tout, je suis vraiment pas douée pour garder les gens que j’aime près de moi, je veux juste qu’on reste en bon terme malgré tout, tu as avec toi une partie de moi et je te remercierai jamais assez pour ce que tu as fait pour moi

i wish you knew how much you genuinely mean to me. I’m sorry i always make things bad but i don’t know how to act around you.

you had the weirdest impact on my life and i probably could've gone without you but its okay because i'm not mad that you are in my life, i just don't need you i never did. you honestly made things worse at some points and better at the others.

It’s been years. Even though I forgave you, I’ll never be able to forget you. I even thought about you when I saw Ed Sheeran live and he sang ‘our’ song.

my biggest regret is that i wanted to change myself, so that maybe you’d like me as much as you liked her.

i wanna make a better one. hi Sam its been about 1 day since weve seen each other and i hope ill see you in 7 hours and 30 mins. i love you and you make me extremely happy and i cant tell you that enough, you are the reason i wake up. i mean no normal girlfriend does 201 missing assignments for there boyfriend because it stresses them out. it kinda shows how perfect you are. well to me atleast. ive yet to give in to the bs my friends tell me about you. im 16 and feel like im in love. the way you hold me and tell me you love me makes a shit day go to an amazing one. i wish you didnt want to leave. you wont tell me you do i but i know you and i know you want someone else even know i cant find out who it is i know you wanna leave but you made that promise. i thank you for pitying me and caring about my feelings. if you find this tell me and just do it 81580. i expect it to go up when you want angel again. god it hurts youve chosen the dude who fucked your entire life up over me. ouch dude like really. i am useless not even my parents want me. if i left this shit town i wouldnt be missed. my friends dont check up on me anymore and your all i got. my parents scream and yell at me and my grades are destined to go back down the drain. i know your calling him because you wont call me. im sorry im not enough, i never was good enough. not even for my mom and dad. i cant keep it in anymore, im sorry. alot for a better note huh. wow. i literally cant think about you in a positive light. you cause me so much pain tonight. ive never wanted to just disappear this much. im so fucking hurt. why would you do this to me? you like seeing me in pain dont you? FUCK DUDE.

Well here i am typing to no one, well you did it again, i mean not yet but i feel in 8 hours ill have the break up text but while im waiting ill write this. um i didnt do anything tell you what you did wrong. i want you to change and we have dated a whole 9 times. you seemed genuine this time. your touch. your thought process, its uhhh well. beautiful. i mean even if blakes right and your playing me i guess im ok with that. coming over and holding you or you holding me just makes me happy. Your ex messaged you today. dont know what you said but if my thoughts are wrong ill see you and find out the hard way. i told my mom what happened tonight and she was upset to say the least. not angry but sad. seeing her kid get hurt again. it pains my mom to know im in love with a girl who doesnt act like she loves me. im very confused about homecoming pics. why did you let your friends belittle me. im trying my hardest to make you stay but i cant give you reasons when i know you are going to leave like you always do. then you will eventually lose your next boyfriend and come back to cause me more pain. Now to the other ending to this story.
if you are being truthful about loving me this time i love you too dork. i really am in love and i know you are up and ignoring me. you are very maniplutive but yep im crying. why do you treat me like genuine shit. god i cant even think of a better ending. im never gonna break up with you but im mad. im angry that you laughed while i was expressing genuine things i was scared about "Im NoT lEaViNg YoU" like sure you arent. but i guess ill wait. weve lasted 2 months so far so yeah sleep well i guess.

My heart is still aching but I know you’ve moved on. I just wish you would’ve told me why you left so maybe i could feel better about myself now...

Bitte verlass mich nicht wieder bitte bitte ich brauch dich wirklich bitte geh nicht ich liebe dich doch

I fall in love with your green eyes every time i look at them but it breaks me knowing you never feel the same

if I had to write down every thought I had about you i'd have a trilogy in a week. but you? it'd take you years to fill a single book

You're going to break my heart and I'm too exhilarated with the free fall. I don't know how to quit you, but I should.

I can't stop thinking about that kiss. I can't stop thinking about what could've been if we did things right.

Those first few weeks were amazing, huh? But I need to stop holding on to the potential of who I thought you were.

The years we spent together went so quick yet I remember every moment of it. we were so young and clueless toward the idea of love, that now I realise it wasn’t. But it was a love that we though was real. It’s been a few years since we’ve spoken more than 2 words to each other. you’ve changed so much. You’re older, taller, sadder and heading down the wrong path. But when I see you every now and then, I remember the kind, smart, happy boy you were and I refuse to believe he’s gone forever. I know you’re hurting and I know the world has brought you down, but you’re leaving soon and i may never see you again. I just wanted to say thanks for the memories. We were young but you were a big part of my life and I love you.

hey bro! I really only got to know you this year but you’ve brought me so much joy. I really started to like u when we began to speak more which was in February. Although you don’t like be back, just know that I’ll always be here if u wanna rant to me I appreciate u!

hey sam you probably already have an idea about what i’m going to say but i’m going to say it anyway, i know we’ve only known each other for about 3 weeks or so but i think i’m catching feeling for you. you make me feel welcome all the time in the group, the way you say hi to me makes my day hahaha but that’s not the only thing that has made me catch feelings, you always talk to me first because you probably know that i’m really bad at starting conversations and shit like that but yeah. i really really hope that u feel the same way about me too. love from...

Still thinkin about you man, kinda hurts honestly, just wish you would reach out again so we could end on a better note. I just kinda wish I wasn’t the one who had to start convos and embarrass myself for you to pay attention to me. I wish we lived in the same place. I wish I had shot my shot when I had the chance! Instead I fucked it up and now you’re gone, probably forever. I just wish I could text you randomly and say “hey I kinda miss you” and you would say the same. I know that will never happen but I really wish. I miss our all nighters and you showing me your dog. I miss your cute little nose. I miss that dumb look you would make. I miss everything about us. I miss you.