Unsent messages to SAM

I am sorry that I caused us to fight. I know you are not a mean person and I know that you dont see me the same way but I am so happy to have you in my life. You cause me happiness and cause me to stay alive. I love you.

I cared to much about what other people thought so I tried to convince myself I didn't like you...I can't tell if I miss you or not

I’ve thought about you every day since you left because I still see traces of you in everything around me, including myself. Wish you burned just as brightly for me.

you were the right person, I know you were. But the sad part is that you're not that person anymore. You've changed for the worse and its sad to see the boy I fell in love with become the boy I dread talking to, the boy I purposely ignore. How did we get here? You promised me this would never happen. Why did you shut me out when all I did was be good to you? Where did this all go wrong?

I’m sorry. I know you will never forgive me and that’s okay. I think of you here and there but you’ll always be the first

when I saw you in August I wish we could have just talked by the fire for an hour to catch up. We don't love eachother at all anymore but I miss you platonically. I know you'll do big things and I'll always root for you in secret. thank you for the heartbreak, it did a lot for my character development.

I loved you so much and I always knew you never loved me back. I will always love you forever and always

I really loved you but you cut me off and I blame myself everyday for it. I wished that I never accepted your apology that night. But I still love you forever and always

you promised. but you told everyone and i was fucking bullied for 3 years of my life. you don't deserve this.

I really like you. I guess it's kind of obvious and every time I see you my day instantly gets better. I wish we spoke more

sometimes i go back and look at our old messages. please talk to me. i miss you so much. i hope you find this.

sometimes i go back and look at our old messages. please talk to me. i miss you so much. i hope you find this.

If only you liked me back, but you don’t. You know when we play flirt the thing is i’m not playing and i wish you weren’t too.

If only you knew how much it killed me when I saw you choose them over me. the 2 years we had built, all gone

you never deserved the things i put you through. maybe we’ll meet again in another life. i truly hope so.

you never deserved the things i put you through. maybe in another life i’ll meet you again. i truly hope so.

I didn’t want to lose you if we didn’t work out as more than friends. But then I lost you anyways when you decided you couldn’t just be friends with me.

i think you were my right person, wrong time. it’s been a couple months but i think of you every day. im here if you want me

I knew from the minute I met you that I was going to fall completely in love with you, but I never imagined it would end up hurting me this much. Take care of yourself. I love you always.

I’m letting go.
You were so wrong for me and I hate myself for how long it happened. I hope you find the girl who makes you happy.

I hear your voice and I remember things that happened a year ago as if it happened yesterday. All the hurt. All the love. I wish I could forget.

you were my first love and i always thought that somehow, we’d find our way back to each other, but i’m not sure that’s gonna happen and it makes me sad. i’ll always love you

Everyday I hope you come back to me.. I miss you so much. You will forevers & always be in my heart.

kissing you in the winter at three am in your truck was like i had found a reason to live again. and i’m sorry for pushing you away to the point i don’t feel like that anymore

I wish you knew how much I liked you. I wasn't lying when I said I felt differently about you than any other guy. I cried over you, and I've never cried over a guy especially not one I didn't even date, that's how much I liked you. I know it wasn't meant to be but I really wish it had worked out between us. I think about you every time I hear the song 2009...

Today I was gonna wear this really cute sweater but the things you said to me kept replaying in my head. I ended up just wearing a sweatshirt because I couldn’t stop crying. My mom kept telling me how beautiful I looked but I don’t believe her. She’s so god damn mad at you. I can’t seem to be mad at you though, probably because I’m stupid. I even put on makeup which I never do anymore. I fucked it up by crying which made me more upset. Sometimes I’m okay but then it just hits me. Almost like a big punch in the stomach. It happens at random moments especially at times when I don’t want to cry. I wish it didn’t have to be you and that I could take it all back. I miss you even though I wish I never met you.

lol. idk what id do if id never met you, ive become a better person and strive to improve everyday because of you. the thought of you takes my anxiety and pain away. you mean more to me than life itself and i cant help but smile everytime i think of you. thank you.

it's been a little over five years. you may have faded in the memories of others but not me. i hope you're resting easy buddy. we love you and we'll see you again

i used to be sure when i promised you i’d never fall out of love with you. im sorry i guess that was a lie. you cheater.

i was looking at old pictures today. i looked so pretty when we were together. i wonder if i’ll ever smile so brightly again

though i do hate you, i have to thank you for being my first real love. i have to thank you for the year it took us to realise we both deserved better. i'd like to thank you for showing me what love feels like. deep down, i know a small part of me will always love you :)

i wish you knew how much you hurt me when you make snarky comments like that. i don’t know why i come back to you when we just aren’t meant to be.

I have this thing where I try to save everybody. I didn't know I was destroying you. I shouldn't have said those things to you and im so sorry from the bottom of my heart. I wish I never lost you and I wish it never came to what it came to and im sorry about the outcome. if I could go back in time I would change everything. im sorry for being hurtful. I was so mf depressed and I swore I would never make someone else feel that way but I did. I love you so much.

i'll never stop loving you, i just keep trying to get over you and end up disappointed when at the end of the day you're all i want. forever and always.

For the 5 years, you were the main thought in my head, all I would think about. Now, I don’t even notice you in the halls anymore.

Deep in my heart I always knew that you were gonna be like the others, you hurt me too...I was in love with you, but you never realized, you just played with me

pt 2 - oh how things change. don't say you love me still and then do what you did. you've fucked me up, and idc if you didn't do it on purpose, you never do. you never intend to hurt the person who would have went through hell and back for you. i really thought you were different, but i guess people lie.still missing you x

your the reason im happy and your the reason im starting to love myself again and if we dont work out idk what im gonna do without you

Will I ever hear from you again? Who knows, you know where I am. I guess you’ve moved on. But guess what, I’m doing the same.

I'm doing better now. Sometimes my heart strings pull when I hear your name, or when someone says something that reminds me of you. Sometimes I wonder if you miss me too.

i miss being less than a mile away from you..you feel so far now. i miss you more than i thought i could ever miss a person

I saw a video of you laughing today. It's been such a long time since I saw you so happy, I can't believe I forgot what you looked like laughing. I remember how I would be the one making you laugh, nobody warned me it would hurt to look back on. I'm glad you're, so happy, I really am, at least during these difficult times one of us is. It's crazy to think though, how much has changed with time, and yet your laugh is still the same.

I wish I knew how to open up. We could have been so great together but I let you down. I never gave you a chance and pushed you away. I regret that everyday. I’m glad you found someone to make you happy and give you the real love you deserve.

i waited for you, ive know you for years, and i really liked you but then you left and now i’m sat here wondering what i did wrong can you explain before it’s too late.

I keep finding pieces of you everywhere. I hope you think of me sometimes because you enter my head most days.

part of me hopes you'll see this and know it's me. i know you've moved on and you think i have, too. but i haven't. i'm still in love with you. i think i always will be. i hope you still think of me. maybe when you listen to higher by rihanna. i'd do anything for another chance. i know we could make it if you were willing to try. but it's okay. you are still the love of my life, regardless. if she makes you happier than i did, that's enough for me. maybe we'll meet again in another life, and get to try again.

i just can't seem to get over you. i look for you everywhere i go. i love you even tho i never told you

My heart aches when I think of you leaving. We only have 3 days and you don’t even know that I love you.

I’m sorry i couldn’t stand up for you and be there for you. I still care about you and i hope everything is turning out better for you these days.

I felt like half a person for the longest time after things ended. I hope you learn that my love can't make you whole.