Unsent messages to SAM

I stare at my phone knowing you broke me. But somehow, I am trying to fix myself just so I can have the chance to be broken all over again by you.

you ruined a lot for me. i can no longer be held without thinking of you. i can no longer experience things that once brought me joy. all because i let my guard down for a stupid guy after i promised myself i would never do that again

i thought your true colors were all rainbows. till i saw the rest of the colors. suddenly, those rainbows started to fade until only the black and white showed.

its awful seeing you with a person who's not me but the most awful thing is that you wouldn't even care if you seen me with someone

to be honest, i don't know whether i miss you or your music taste, but i think about you all the fucking time man, i wish it could go back to the way it was, or at least the way i hoped it would be

God damnit. We'd never work together. I know that. And I know you're kind of an ass. But I still can't let go that easy.

some days, im obsessed with you, youre all I can think about, but the days you ignore me make me question my thoughts. i really like you but I overthink too much

the way you said all that stuff for me to find out it was all a lie, broke me in ways you'll never understand.

You saved me. It’s early it’s way too soon but the love I have for you is huge , as I as a person and a human I love you and your energy.

i've submitted at least 10 of these messages in the last 20 minutes but none of them could come close to expressing how much I truly miss you.

I used to find comfort in knowing no matter the distance, we’d always be looking at the same stars every night. now I’ve learned we were looking at different galaxies entirely.

I looked up my nickname on this and convinced myself all the messages were from you. I wish I were right.

it wasnt impossible, and we could have made it work. u just didnt think I was worth it. and that fuckin sucks.

i think about u all the time, there's not a time in the day where im not reminded of u, still wish things were the same. i love u

i hate u. i have convinced myself to hate u. and u know what? i’m glad. u didn’t deserve me in the first place.

Fui estupida al decir que no te queria y no eras importante, siempre seras el primero. me imagino como te sentias cuando hablaba de él frente a ti, cuado crearas historias de mi relacion sobre él. Me duele saber que te perdi, pero lo que más me duele es imaginarme lo que sentias.

i remember the first day we met. do you still think about me? why did you drop me so fast? i don’t miss you, i just miss the old you. i’m still here if you ever need me.

after my long term toxic relationship, I didn’t want to put in effort for anyone again. you’re the exception.

You only used me for my body and then dropped me when you wanted. I'd come running back everytime tho because I loved you

i’m sorry, i loved you, i should’ve told you, i made it so complicated for myself, i don’t blame you.

Every time i think about you i cry, and i regret everything that i've caused. Though 6 month had passed, i miss you and i still love you #carrots

You weren't my first love but I couldn't help myself from writing one of these for you. I wish you knew how special I was and I wish you would treat me better regardless of the distance. You mean so much to me, not sure why. You're not good for me but I'd like to know what it would be like to be loved by you.

I know you’re not coming back and that may be what hurts the most. But it must stay like this. I have to say myself.

I’d love to know how it feels when someone thinks of you nonstop... to comfort themselves or when trying to fall asleep at night... the way I think of you

idk why you thought id do something that your ex did. bro i didnt even get a chance to tell you how much you mean to me, and how i like that you notice the little things. before this all happened i thought of you as my closest friend because you were always there for me no matter what i did. i love our inside jokes. but when i asked you out again, you said we should wait. wait for what? am i waiting for you? or are you waiting for me? or are you really just saying that you dont like me enough. being close friends with the person you love sucks, because i have to hear about your country club hoes. Im always left thinking if theyre better. Which tbh, they might be. but you ended things before i could prove that theyre not. im getting tired of waiting around. ive typed so many texts but i cant send em. Bruh when are going to ask me out? im getting bored of pretending that we didnt like eachother at all. Dude i dont think you know what youve done to me. youve been there for me when i didnt need you to be, but when i needed you, you left.

I had to let you go to find myself. Though I miss you now, I'm doing okay. Maybe one day I'll find you again.

I really like you but your plans for the future scare me and excites me. All i ever wanted was to be loved and you are offering me that. but I'm scared that I'm not enough but i wont give up. i really wanna say I love you but I'm scared to get hurt...

i still love you so much, and i’m afraid that you’ve actually moved on while i’m just lying to myself

if i could look into your eyes for a lifetime, id never want to leave this earth that you make so much brighter.

I just wanted you to know that I miss you a lot and ik that it didn’t end how either of us wanted but I still love you, forever?

Bruh you just- I can't with you. That's it. You act like I don't exist and only talk to my family when you come over like sir:| Leave I can't w/ you. And you're annoying a lot but I really liked you for like 10 years. Ig that's my fault but yours too for not noticing or noticing and continue to hurt my feelings. :)

I never stopped loving you. Sometimes I wish things could back to the way they used to be. I miss you every day.

i miss talking to you like me use to talk before if i’m being honest we use to have a good connection and everything but everything went down hill for some stupid things of course. man i really miss you man all does dumb arguments we had for stupid shit was dumb and yk know it too. i remember the first facetime like if we just had facetime yesterday best of my memories we had, the fact that we actually fall asleep on facetime too was funny and cute cause your ass was more tired than i was but at least i got to see you sleep. i really do feel safe with you, you are this great genuine guy with a BIG asd heart dude like you are so sweet and sometimes a bitch but it’s ok cause i understand where everything is coming from i remember everything after the ft we actually ft like what 5 or 6 times the third time man you actually told me how you felt about me it was super weird cause like i didn’t know how to felt at that point cause we where barely getting to know each other better and the fact that you told me that you felt something for me and that you didn’t know how or why it was so adorable cause it was also on ft but it was like if we was typing it yk lmaooo. well i really wanted to tell you that you are the best and still are the best of the guys i have ever met i miss everything we use to have and i miss you too ily.

this is my apology to you. my way to say sorry for what i caused. my apology for expecting love i could never have. my apology for my heart breaking over the thought of us that was impossible to reach. i am sorry. i’m sorry i loved you when i should have known you would never love me.

ive loved you since the first time we spoke and i think i always will and i have a feeling you do too

I wish you knew how much I liked you, how much I missed you. Sometimes I wish I told you. I hope you're doing okay.

hi hun, i don't think you'll ever see this but i just wanted to say that i can't put into words how much i love you even through all of our ups and downs and both of our crazy lives. i can't express enough how lucky i am to have you in my life. i know you're graduating this year and i really hope our journey doesn't come to an end you complete me and i can't imagine spending my time or life with anyone. i know people say we're young and dumb and don't know what real love is. but i believe that we will grow so much together and become amazing people separately and together. i'm so very thankful for you and i know i don't say it enough but i am so in love with you.

We just met at the wrong time.....if we had met later in life I know we would have been perfect....I still love you.

It hurts me that you'll never see me the way I see you. It hurts me that you'll never care about me the way I care about you.

i wake up everyday knowing my feelings for you won’t change for the rest of my life. i think that’s love.

thanks for sticking by me through everything. even when i was the worst. i hope you know how much i love you from afar. i promise i always will x
from L x

it was my birthday today. i wanted to see but i guess not :( maybe ill see you tomorrow on your birthday. i know i should move on and i was planning on doing that today but i guess not seeing you was a sign that you're no longer in my life and i should move on...

Mate your one of my best friends and I hate to see you like this and all you deserve is happiness mate i love you dude dont forget it :)

you were my best friend in high school. but, it took me finding new friends to realize how toxic you were. i was never truly happy when i was with you, and honestly, i held onto our relationship longer than i should have...

Not my first love, but a friend forever. I hope you’ll find your way. Don’t give up. I’m sorry if I’ve discouraged you in any way...

you took so much from me and caused me so much pain without even realizing it, it hurts so fucking much sometimes but i don't want to let go but i know deep down you've already let go and now it's my turn...i'll always be waiting for you to message me back.

You made me feel like you loved and cared about me but really you just hurt me again, your whole existence is pain and hurt. How can you hurt so many people and feel fine?

i don’t know if i miss you as a best friend, as more or if i just miss you presence. all i know is i miss you and getting over you is the hardest thing i will ever do

I like talking to youu a lot ?? :( and this scares me a little bit scared to get hurt i guess. i hope we end up as friends if anything. u are different ?

Even though I don’t know you and I might not ever get to know you, I know that we are meant to be and that I love you.