Unsent messages to BEN
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 9:48 pm UTC
I'm sorry stuff ended the way it did. I wish I was stronger because you made me so happy. But our mental healths where going in different directions. I still check in on your Facebook. You seem so happy. I'm happy for you. I wish Adam made me half as happy as you did.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 5:58 pm UTC
I'm still in love with you if I'm being completely honest. I know you don't like me back but like i want to marry you either way. You can rail me any day of the week lol
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 4:34 pm UTC
i can fall madly in love with you over and over again, but you’ll never want what i want. oh well, i’ll always be notorious for being a dreamer
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 4:33 pm UTC
i can fall madly in love with you over and over again, but you’ll never want what i want. oh well, i’ll always be notorious for being a dreamer
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 4:01 pm UTC
i love you more than i can explain. you feel safe and kind. even though it’s too hard for us to be together i hope that someday we can slowdance in the kitchen again to our favorite song
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 3:14 pm UTC
i’ve known you that long i’ve seen you become another person. the old you is dead. the new you is a tool
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 11:25 am UTC
even after all you've put me through, i still can't think of you as a bad person.
why?
i said no the last time we hung out. why didnt you listen?
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 2:44 am UTC
I know you’ll never see this and i know you don’t care, i just wish you would come back to me. i love you
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: January 1, 2021, 12:51 am UTC
i’m letting go you were my best friend but never really cared you’ve forgotten about me time for me to forget about you bye this is a new year i met and lost u in the same year bye ben
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 31, 2020, 11:12 pm UTC
you left me claiming it would help me. but i still think about you everyday and miss you with all my heart you asshole.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 31, 2020, 12:46 am UTC
we sat beside eachother in class. i wished that i could’ve gotten to know u better before it all ended
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 30, 2020, 7:10 pm UTC
you are SO SWAG and ALSO MY SHAWTY (sorry maddie im a player what can i say) thank youfor the frog pics
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 29, 2020, 11:49 am UTC
ben i love you so so much i couldn’t imagine life where we aren’t together but now we aren’t and i’m so sorry we didn’t work i know we can work again we just need to give it time
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 29, 2020, 4:10 am UTC
thank you for showing me i deserve better. thank you for leaving. it was hard at first i won’t lie, but in the end i am happier. i have found happiness within myself and i’ve realized that being with you didn’t make me happy, it made me distracted from my sadness.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 26, 2020, 2:32 am UTC
Thanks for being such a positive influence in my life. Heaven does pick it's favorites :) I miss you brother.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 25, 2020, 7:39 pm UTC
i loved your aesthetic, energy and innocence. You were too good for me to believe you wanted me. i’m sorry i left the way i did
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 25, 2020, 11:03 am UTC
i was silently screaming for help and you just ignored me. and the saddest part is that i'd forgive you
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 24, 2020, 8:21 am UTC
You destroyed me and I grew from it. Now I'm coming back to you, years later, when I hit that low point once again.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 24, 2020, 5:39 am UTC
I can't even write your full name I'm that scared.I just wanted to say I love you.I love your goofynees no one else seems to appreciate, I love the way you never fail to make me laugh, I love how kind you are and how simple and average you are with everything.I wish you knew how much I liked you and how I think you're beyond great because that's what you deserve.This might sound weird but I want you to be happy forever and I genuinely wish you all the best.I really do hope to see/know you in the future just to makes sure you're alright but yk lifes weird.I love and miss you so much.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 24, 2020, 12:02 am UTC
Dear Ben, I love you, with all my heart and that will never change! We were too young to understand what love meant and unfortunately that meant things ended for us. I miss you, I miss everything about you from our 3am chats to our walks in the park to all the times I saw you. From the day I met you I knew I would love you until the day I die. Things have not always been easy, far from it at times but I’m so glad it happened. I was the happiest girl in the world. If only it didn’t end how it did-I wonder if things would be different. I miss you Ben, I miss the way your smile would light up the room, your laugh would make me day, your hugs would make me cozy, and whenever I was with you I was happy. There was never a dull moment. I wish i could change time but the past is the past and there is no going back. I wish you all the best Ben and I’m sorry for everything. I love you
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 23, 2020, 7:58 pm UTC
idk how ur girlfriend stayed with you after you being involved with someone 8 years younger but , both of u go off looool prick
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 23, 2020, 7:54 pm UTC
So we haven’t talked since you got taken away 5 Christmas’s ago. I just want you to know me and your family still are here for you and will always love you. You were like a brother to me and I loved it. Please try and find us one day.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 23, 2020, 7:48 pm UTC
it was your birthday a few days ago, and you spent it with her. i know you dont care about me anymore but you would be proud at how far ive come. we were toxic for eachother and too young to know what love was. im entering the new year without u and thats okay. i dont miss you. i miss the memories but its time to forget. thank you for making me who i am, i lost you however i found myself. maybe one day in the future we will meet again and things will be different or maybe not. i wish we had a future. but here i am...
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 22, 2020, 9:43 pm UTC
It sucks to meet the right person at the wrong time. If our relationship doesn't work, I hope that fate will bring us together again. I love you.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 21, 2020, 8:46 am UTC
sorry for not meeting what u wanted me to be in you life but thank you for everything you have given me..i love you
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 21, 2020, 1:40 am UTC
u were the reason I started wearing my seatbelt but when u blocked me I kinda started to like the beeping again
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 20, 2020, 9:59 pm UTC
I truly love you but I resent you for me sacrificing my formative years. I feel guilty bc you don’t understand.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 19, 2020, 5:15 am UTC
When it came to you, I never knew where I was going but that didn’t stop me from following...now I’ll be lost if I lose you
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 18, 2020, 4:42 am UTC
You’re my biggest regret. The only reason you still come across my mind is because you ruined the most important thing for me. I don’t think of you, I think of the damage you made. But, fuck you because I took back it all and rebuilt every single thing you crushed.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 17, 2020, 5:55 am UTC
you had been my first real crush that i saw myself dating, and i appreciate you being kind and sweet through all of my awkwardness. i understand why you didn't like me back, i understand that now.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 16, 2020, 11:20 pm UTC
i want to feel like i did before i met you. i hate that i still think about you even though you never cared about me and never liked me back
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 16, 2020, 9:36 am UTC
I hate you. I hate you because no matter how much I tell myself I hate you, I can’t. I hope leaving me made you happy, because that’s all I ever wanted... was for you to be happy.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 15, 2020, 9:22 pm UTC
im always going to love you. you are my safe place, i only wish that i could be that for you too. but i know we’re only ever going to be friends. that’s okay. i’d rather love you secretly than not have our friendship.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 15, 2020, 12:58 am UTC
out of the many memories I've lost, the memory of you still exists in my mind, even tho its been years
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 14, 2020, 6:11 am UTC
hey, i know you don’t know me, and i’m only a nobody in your class, but seeing you the days i have school makes me so incredibly happy, and the days i dont see you, the days we spend at home, i spend sitting waiting for the next day i do. im so extremely sorry that im incredibly awkward and shy around you or when you walk by, which probably is a reason you wouldn’t or don’t like me back but i cant help that you make me so goddamn nervous.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 14, 2020, 5:02 am UTC
I love you. You were the first person I can truly say I love. I know we will never be more than friend and we put each other in a lot of pain but I think it will be better to at least keep each other in our lives as friends than to try and be more then to break up. But I don’t think I will ever be fully ok watching u marry someone else, or hear u say u love someone else, or watch u talk to someone else the way we do and so much more. But I will never get in the way of your happiness even if that means that I get hurt. I know you would do the same for me because you already have. We can’t pretend we don’t look at each other the way we do and care for each other the way we do. We have both filtered through so many relationship and friend but no matter what we stay together. I think we r soulmates.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 14, 2020, 3:13 am UTC
why would you hurt me like this when u know how much i need you. fuck you. fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 14, 2020, 1:36 am UTC
you used me until there were only remnants left of the person i was before you. i wish we’d never met.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 13, 2020, 9:56 pm UTC
After all these years I fell in love with you again. And I really don`t know why it hurts more than the first time.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 13, 2020, 9:51 pm UTC
i cant believe you used me lolz but its whatever because i have someone much better. who actually cares about me. and i chose orange because i hate orange.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 13, 2020, 1:30 pm UTC
i still get lost in your eyes when we pass each other in the hallways like i used to, the difference now is we’re strangers.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 13, 2020, 9:43 am UTC
I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me but words can’t even describe exactly how I feel about you and I just want you to know I see your struggles and I wish I could take all that away but I swear to you I will be by your side every single step of the way I wish the very best for you
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 13, 2020, 7:44 am UTC
i had a lot of fun with you but you should really stop judging people so much. also you've prob talked shit behind my back but whatever ig.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 13, 2020, 3:44 am UTC
Thoughts of u still rush through my head as they did when we first touched.I’m sorry. I fcked up.You’ll never have better.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 13, 2020, 3:26 am UTC
Thoughts of you still rush through my head as they did when we first touched.You’ll never have better. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m Sorry.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 12, 2020, 10:45 pm UTC
You made me feel like myself. now I've lost you I have nothing. and I mean nothing. all my mental health has fucked all because of you. I think what hurts the most is that your completely over me to the point that you can sleep with the girl you told me not to worry about. you ruined my favourite band, my favourite songs, the sentence 'lets go guys'. I need you so bad man. my life has fallen apart but your so bad for me but I guess I don't care. I've started smoking, stealing, and doing this I never would have done if you didn't leave. I love you more then I have ever loved anybody and you know how afraid I was so I don't understand how you could just leave me in the dark after everything I told you such as my sisters condition and my severe anxiety that is taking over my life.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 12, 2020, 10:05 pm UTC
Thank You!! I wouldnt say we were in love but you showed me how I deserve to be treated and you constantly made me feel good about myself
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 12, 2020, 8:33 pm UTC
Sometimes I wish u actually talked to me about what u wanted yet u left me with no warning and now I have moved on but u wanna come back I can’t do that to myself
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 12, 2020, 6:25 pm UTC
You treated me like an angel, and then in the matter of moments became the devil. i loved you with my entire soul.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Date: December 12, 2020, 6:13 pm UTC
i miss you so much. it may have been nothing to you but seeing your name on my phone meant the world to me
