Unsent messages to BEN
From: ABC
To: Ben
I still think I hear your voice right before I fall asleep at night and then I realize you’re not there anymore.
From: ABC
To: Ben
you said you were hooked on me one night in the spring but now we barely talk and I don’t know where it went wrong
From: ABC
To: Ben
if only you loved me like you did back then. you was everything to me even though you didn’t do much, for me, especially for us. i’m sorry that i wasn’t worth your time anymore. i still value you so much. just one day i hope to fall into your arms and tell you how much i want you. this feeling doesn’t seem like it’ll leave me. i’m sorry that i made that choice of ending what we had. it’s all my fault. i want you to know that i’m always thinking about you even it doesn’t seem like it.
From: ABC
To: Ben
i wish you nothing but light and love - i know you won't find that with me, but i don't mind. thank you for making me realise that love is self-less, patient and kind. you are a sweetheart and you deserve the world.
From: ABC
To: Ben
without you i slowly slip into my old habits. you made me happy, better. but i am the only one to blame
From: ABC
To: Ben
this isn’t fair. you can’t keep me on a leash. are we together or not? because i love you and i don’t know what to do.
From: ABC
To: Ben
why’d you have to sugar coat everything? you hurt me enough during the relationship let alone after you set unrealistic expectations after it
From: ABC
To: Ben
You hurt me more than you'll ever know and its not even your own fault. I'm sorry i wasted your time, i wish we could go back
From: ABC
To: Ben
you hurt me more than you’ll ever know and it’s not even your fault. you can’t help your feelings but i wish we could go back.
From: ABC
To: Ben
when you hold me it makes me feel whole. i hope you don’t stop loving me. i’m sorry for all the pain and hurt i’ve caused. i’m sorry i can’t say sorry. i love you ben
From: ABC
To: Ben
You’re the only person I’ve ever truly loved and what you did to me hurt me but doesn’t change the fact that I still love you
From: ABC
To: Ben
i mean it when i say i hope you know you've ruined my relationship with both my mum and my dad. the ones you banged on about how much they adored you. hate to break it to you mate but they didn't and definitely do not now. cant work out which one of us they hate more. i laugh at myself for loving u. from the bottom of my heart, fuck you x
From: ABC
To: Ben
We're different. I don't know how but we are, but for some reason we're different enough to fit together. So here's day six of me looking for excuses and telling myself that I'm stupid.
From: ABC
To: Ben
you left me claiming it would help me. but i still think about you everyday and miss you with all my heart you asshole.
From: ABC
To: Ben
i just need to know how you feel
it kills me everyday talking to you knowing what we once were
and it kills me to think it doesn't kill you
From: ABC
To: Ben
i’m letting go you were my best friend but never really cared you’ve forgotten about me time for me to forget about you bye this is a new year i met and lost u in the same year bye ben
From: ABC
To: Ben
I don't want to fall in love with you again. I'll never forget how it felt to be completely broken by you.
From: ABC
To: Ben
you’re my soulmate. i may not be yours, but no matter what happened between us, you’ll always have a piece of my heart.
From: ABC
To: Ben
i still compare every new guy to you even though it's been 6 months. i think about you way more than i should. it's red because that's the color your room was every night on call.
From: ABC
To: Ben
I’m sorry i wasn’t the one you wanted. Years later and i still miss you everyday and look through our old photos
From: ABC
To: Ben
i'm kind of sad u aren't all i thought u wld be . anyway probs a good thing smth never happened back in the day
From: ABC
To: Ben
I’m sorry i wasn’t the one you wanted. Years later and i still miss you everyday and look through our old photos
From: ABC
To: Ben
i've been doing some thinking about what happened. i don't think i'll ever be able to forget what happened no matter how much i try. i wish i could. it has taken me a long time to come to terms about what happened because i regret it. sometimes i wonder what my life would be life if we never met. i told you too much about me and unfortunately i can't take that back. it was a mistake. i'm not going to lie, i still think of you as a shitty person. the things you've said are so fucked up i can't even begin to describe the amount of anger it gives me to even think about it. regardless, i forgive you. but i'm not going to forget what you did and i'm never going to let you back into my life. you can forgive someone without letting them back into your life to allow them to hurt you again. i wish you the best in life but i never want to speak to you again. it's funny, this past year i was hoping at some point you would reach out to maybe talk about what happened so we're on better terms. but you never did and honestly i don't even care anymore.
From: ABC
To: Ben
I should have told you that I love you when I still had you. I still do love you and always will, but you won’t ever know. I miss you so much, please come back to me, I just want to look into your beautiful blue eyes again.
From: ABC
To: Ben
i miss you. i miss you and it never stops, i wish i could tell you but if you don't care it'll break me
From: ABC
To: Ben
You have no idea how much you mean to me. You make me feel complete. I love you more than words can say.
From: ABC
To: Ben
you deserve my love, thank you. you're my first love and i think maybe once we get older and grow as individuals you could be my last
From: ABC
To: Ben
whenever you touch me, i feel all the emotions from the past X years flash through me. if only you’d touch me more.
From: ABC
To: Ben
i just wanna see you again, tell you all the things i couldn’t say before and kiss you under the moon
From: ABC
To: Ben
When you sit there and look into my eyes on ft and took me to see the Xmas lights that one day, dam I fell even more in love with you
From: ABC
To: Ben
not really sure if u meant it when you said u loved me, but i promise you, i meant it every single time.
From: ABC
To: Ben
I want to thank you so much even tho to you it’s nothing but you really made me happy even when I was sad. It’s hard because I love you and I want to be with you but you clearly will never like me that way and that’s fine but I need to move on and I don’t know how other than to just leave you and end our friendship. Ik that this friendship means nothing to you but it means so much to me. So I’m sorry that I always put this on you because Ik you don’t care at all but I just need you to know how I feel.
From: ABC
To: Ben
i don’t know why i can’t get over you. i miss you so much and i wish you wanted me back. i didn’t know at the time just how deeply i felt for you. no matter how much i want to hate you and the feeling to go away i can’t let go. i think about you constantly. ur an asshole but somehow i still want to be with you and have feelings for you. i guess this is goodbye, i’m sorry.
From: ABC
To: Ben
Hey Ben.
I hope you're doing well.
I just want to thank you. I'll never forget you and the things we did. I still love you.
From: ABC
To: Ben
I never meet you in real life and I really loved you hope your okay and all your dreams will come true
From: ABC
To: Ben
My first love, my first heart break. My world is so broken without you. Only when I see you in my dreams am I happy.
From: ABC
To: Ben
i so wish i could’ve been enough for you. maybe if i was just worth more, you wouldn’t have moved on in a week. i’m sorry..
From: ABC
To: Ben
i love you. but your in love with my best friend. and it breaks my heart everyday to see you choosing her over me. everytime.
From: ABC
To: Ben
when we hugged and i felt you shaking, i realized i had to be strong for you. but i can't sometimes. i'm so sorry
From: ABC
To: Ben
hey also ich kontte dich damals vielleicht nicht verstehen aber mitlerweile bin ich echt okay mit deiner entscheidung, ich fands aber scheiße dass du mir was vorgemacht hast nur um nudes zu kriegen das find ich echt ehrenlos von dir und ich hoffe dass ich mich niewieder in dich verliebe
From: ABC
To: Ben
I don’t know that you’re my “first love” but you’re the first person I felt that kind of love for. It hurt to see you loose yourself. I just want you to be safe and genuinely happy. Forever and always love you
From: ABC
To: Ben
less than two months and then i never have to see you again. well, maybe. you never know. i hope i never see you again. i wish we never happened. if i'm being honest, i think you probably had stronger feelings for me than i ever did for you. i think you still do. i can tell by the way you stare at me. how hide your laugh when i say something funny. and most importantly, how i look at someone else the way you look at me. i'm glad you're going to be out of my life for good because you were never a friend to me. i'm much better off without you.
From: ABC
To: Ben
You were kind of a dick and I kept making excuses for you. Now you’re just a dick and I like leaving you on read.
From: ABC
To: Ben
you sent me paragraphs telling me you loved every insecurity i've ever had. what did i do to deserve you?
From: ABC
To: Ben
i didn't know how to tell you tonight that your love for me is one of the few things that's keeping me happy rn
From: ABC
To: Ben
i don't think you know how much you actually mean to me. i can't wait to hold you, so you know that someday
From: ABC
To: Ben
I hate that I try to get over you then it nearly works and then you do something and I end up liking you again >:(
From: ABC
To: Ben
How long did you know? Were you with him behind my back? Was it a lie when you told me you loved me? Because I loved you so much it hurt, and it hurts even more to love you when I know you're with another boy. It hurts so much to hear you talk about him, how you were actually in love with him for months even though we had just broken up. You got a boyfriend instantly after you dumped me, you talked about how in love you were, and that hurt more than any mortal wound could. I wish you had stabbed me, I wish you had shot me, it would've hurt less than this heartbreak. But, for some reason, I still love you. I don't want to, but I do.
From: ABC
To: Ben
After you left, I started seeing you more than I ever did when you were mine. I saw you in the music I listened to, you introduced me to so much classic rock and now it hurts to listen. I see you in the things I like, you introduced me to JJBA and now every time I see a character I know you liked my heart aches. I see you in the color green, I see you in TLOZ, I see you in a million different things. I want to be blind to you, I never want to see you again, but I want to see you everyday for the rest of my life.
From: ABC
To: Ben
I found a video of you saying I love you. I never thought I would hear that again, it was nice. Please come back.
