Unsent messages to L

u texted me today. you had blocked me so i would move on. ty for helping me. u forced me to fall for someone else, and if u hadn't i would never have left u.

I don't know why I couldn't cry, maybe it was because I didn't love you as much as I thought I did and I was just used to you being

apart of me is so bitter about it. i just want to show off "how much better im doing" just to throw it in ur face but really im not. you really wrecked me.

you were the one who made everything go away. you were able to make the things in my head quiet for the amount of time you held me in your arms and made everything else in the world disappear. i was addicted to you. and even though i loved that feeling and just cared and loved you so much you were so bad for me. but i felt so responsible for you. what we had was so toxic and i still fail to understand that because i saw so much good in you. but in reality you just were changing yourself for me. it was somewhat for the better but once i left you just lost it. i wanted to help you get better but i cant be destroying myself everyday to keep you good. because i was losing it. i was hurting so badly. but i didnt care. its bad but its jsut how i am. knowing me if you tried to come back i might take you back and its horrible. i just really wanted to believe and help you and get the happy ending. all i wanted was to finally have someone and not have it all go wrong. not be screw over in the end. but i happened again. i just cant win. i hope you get better.

why did you do what you did that one day? you said you would never do anything a wasn't okay with but you did that anyway. i acted like i was fine and pretended like i forgave you but i just kept acting after that. it messed me up so badly. i hated being in my body more than i ever have and i could barely look at myself for days. you were the person who made me feel the most safe after that i really just didnt know how to think about you

I genuinely hope you feel guilty for the rest of your life for what you did to me. I hope it keeps you up at night.

Hey, I just wanted to remind you that I'm still here... I have been for a year now. Please contact me, it's so hard without you. I love you.

i miss how you used to be, i stayed alive for you. when i thought i lost all hope you were the one to keep me here. you said you would love me forever and never leave, you care, we sung together and shared memories. even when the whole time you were going behind my back. liar, cheater, but i will always love you my love

You know when you dont understand the difference between loving someone romantically or platonically? Yeah. I dont want to fuck you but id really like to hold your hand? And i know i shouldnt be so dependent on someone so far away nut like you said- we're obsessed with eachother. I know youre attached to me now, but occasionally i have to fight off the memory that you left me before? Not only left, but left for someone else? Its coming back now because it hurts so badly that you spoke to her again, and didnt tell me, althiugh i know i have no right to know. I hate living eith the fear that you could so easily go back to her, and i saw a post about if you stood in a crowded room who would you run to and it kills me that i know you would run straight to her. I dont understand why you would come back to me when shes still there, and i hate that im getting so attached to you again and i remeber how much it hurt last time. I tried to forget you with loads of other guys but now we talk again i know they dont compare at all? I shouldnt be this dependant on you i know, but i almost believe you when you say you feel the same until i remember that YOU LEFT. I know deep down we wont last, but when you go back to her at least ill have our texts, and your letters to remember the boy i cared about more than myself.

prolly puppy love? damn u were kinda manipulative and hurtful lol, i’m ngl i laughed when i heard all ur friends left u

I remember the day you blocked me. I had written you a paragraph, just like this one. I searched your name and nothing came up. I cried and I cried. I felt stupid. Why did I pour my heart out into a paragraph? It was because I loved you. Loved. But I loved you too late. You were over me. I spent days crying. Months crying. And them months eventually turned into a year. Crying over a boy who i had never met and not even been in a relationship with. I thought you were my soulmate. You were the first person I had ever felt a real connection with. You meant everything to me but I realized I didn’t mean everything to you. The day you added me again broke my heart. You didn’t remember anything. All those things that meant so much to me, you didn’t remember. Especially ??. That really broke my heart. That was our emoji.

I love you and no matter how much time pass, i will always love you, with all my heart
i just love you, always

i really really hope we recognize each other again, cause i need you and i want you so bad that i could scream that for all people

sometimes I log in our profile and read all the old tweets, just to miss you more, to remember when you were mine and almost text you

thank u for being there always, u have no idea how much u helped me, i love u and always will.
i know you're going to achieve all the dreams u told me about, i believe in u

this is the color that you let me paint your nails. you can have the bottle if you want, it hurts to use it now.

i miss you and i’m waiting, i miss my best friend, i hope to see you soon, because i don’t want another life for us, i want now.

Obviously I still care, you mean so much to me and I am not ready to let you go. We need to talk please..

i would give you my cookies if you asked me again. i’ve considered taking cookies to you for ages now, but i know it’s a lost cause.
i miss having hope for us

Pensé muchas veces querer llamarte pero no podía porque sabia que no ibas a responderme , para que dañarme siendo que estamos a mas de mil kilómetros?

I know you left before I even properly knew you. But I miss you. I appreciate all you did. And I realise you leaving was your way of helping me. So thank you.

i’m happy you’re happy, even though it isn’t with me. i hope she can do everything i couldn’t. maybe another life time my love

you are the one person i have never even come close to getting over. i genuinely think i’ll be in love with you for the rest of my life.

i miss you. i miss the way i felt when i knew someone cared. but i don’t miss how i felt when it went wrong.

I like you and i don’t know how to tell you, you’re just another stranger on the internet or at least I thought you were but I can’t stop thinking about you. I probably mean nothing to you. But that’s okay, that’s how it should be. I don’t deserve your attention.

I don’t think I’ll ever get over you. I try so hard but you never leave. I’ll love you for eternity, but I need to say goodbye.

I can’t believe you’re fucking married. I’m happy for you but I’m sad for me. I wish our summer together was endless.

i still remember the first time you grabbed my hand in the store and i wondered if this is what being in love felt like. did you have any idea i love/d you as more than a friend?

i'll always respect the way that you never even showed the slightest bit of dislike to me, even after what i did

even after everything u have done, if u wanted me i would drop everything. it is taking every inch of me to walk away rn, and even then, i still hope u will come back as someone who can care for me like i cared for u.

i still listen to our song. it makes my soul hurt and my insides burn. i'll still take care of you if you ask me to

You were the whole night sky to me. You made me open up in ways no one else could. But it's all different now.

Quiero besar cada parte de tu cuerpo con la que te sientas insegura y hacer que la ames, a pesar de que no me hables y que probablemente yo no te importe, quiero ayudarte, quiero hacer que te ames, me gustaría que te vieras con mis ojos para que aprecies lo hermosa que sos. Me gustaría que puedas comer sin culpa, sin sentirte fea, sin estar pendiente de tu cuerpo, que te mires al espejo y veas lo bella que sos, que dejes de llorar por como te ves, que dejes de sentirte insuficiente.
No sabes lo que daría para que te sientas cómoda y segura con tu imagen.

I listen to music on youtube now just so i wont take the risk of texting you. I really wanna talk to you till 4 am again, but idk if u feel the same or if u just got annoyed or smth. I really want you.

Loving you hurts. At the same time i want to marry u i also want to walk away and never look back cuz im afraid that youll leave and break my heart. And if u do i dont think ill ever be able to love again.

I love you with all of me. Things are hard yes, and it has been 2 months i haven't seen your face in front of mine and i haven't touched your skin, just remember i would never un-do the moment we met. No-matter how hard it gets,It was simply the best day of my entire life. The day i met my safety net x

Me hiciste muchísimo daño, me dejaste ir como si nunca te hubiera importado, pero gracias porque hiciste que me diera cuenta que merezco mucho más de lo que tú me dabas, te deseo lo mejor

Is your favorite color still green? I don’t think anyone ever understood me like you did . I’m sorry . Really sorry . You didn’t have to leave . I hope you read this . I hope you still care. Don’t be a ghost

you made me feel so safe. your room was warm and your house was happy. thank you for giving me what i never got.

hi merry xmas lol, uk those dates make me a bit emotional and i just wanted to say that ive been thinking about you... i do everyday but idk if u know it. Im completely in love w u and all u do. i wish u knew id choose you over anyone or anything.ure all i ever need and want. ive never felt such pain. i need ur love. i don't think i can watch u walk out my life like that. ik its hard for us to work but ik we can do it, just give it a try. i miss you so fucking much. my heart burns everytime ik u not here. sometimes i pretend u are but it hurts even more.... im waiting for your text but ik it won't ever arrive. anyways... i hope u had a great day and ur gifts were amazing. I love you.

2am conversations are fun i love them you have no idea how much it sucks knowing that it doesn't last forever. remember when you told me you wanted someone. well hello i'm right here i don't know if u can tell but i like you. a lot. and i hope one day you realise i've liked you since day one.

You told me this time last year I’d be with you and that I’d be family to your parents, what happened?

i miss you. i don’t understand how we can go from telling each other we’re in love to not talking. But i guess that was Gods way of removing you from my life because he knew i was never going to be able to leave you myself. i’ll still always love you loser

I loved you so fucking much you don’t understand I poured out my entire heart to you and you just left me I still think about you all the fucking time and I miss you every single day you don’t understand I’m happy that you’re happy now but I wish you didn’t leave me behind, you were so important to me

Why did you say I never made an effort, but when I’d try you’d push me away. I never understood what you wanted.

its me. i stay awake all hours of the day and night thinking of you. if you knew how much i thought about you, you would think that i was crazy. i wish i could spend one day with you. just one. we could do all the things you tell me about. maybe in the next life

hi. i miss you. i wish i knew how you felt about me right now. im sorry i was so hard to deal with. you showed me what love was and i thank you so much for how good you treated me.

have a safe flight home. Saying goodbye broke my heart into a million pieces. I hope I’ll see you soon. Stay safe for me, I love you with everything in me.

have a safe flight home. Saying goodbye broke my heart into a million pieces. I hope I’ll see you soon. Stay safe for me, I love you with everything in me.

i’ll never stop waiting for you to come back to me. i still see you. do you ever think about me? do you remember?