this isn’t about my first pove yet it is about one who i loved, loved so much that it’s been 6 years since i have seen you last and still think about you every second of every minute. God takes the most that don’t deserve to be gone so soon

you were the first boy and actually the only boy i ever fell in love with, but you were the first person to ever break my heart into pieces

you were the first person (and actually the only one) I fell in love with, but you were also the first person to ever break my heart into pieces

Loving you hurts. At the same time i want to marry u i also want to walk away and never look back cuz im afraid that youll leave and break my heart. And if u do i dont think ill ever be able to love again.

I listen to music on youtube now just so i wont take the risk of texting you. I really wanna talk to you till 4 am again, but idk if u feel the same or if u just got annoyed or smth. I really want you.

You know nothing about our situation was in my control. I would go to the ends of the earth for you and that still wouldn't be enough or enough to make you stay. You make it seem like you're still here and within my reach but i know you're too far gone. Your so far out of reach it seems as though you were never in reach to begin with. But still I'd do anything at all for you just in hopes its what will make you realize I'm yours.

You know when you dont understand the difference between loving someone romantically or platonically? Yeah. I dont want to fuck you but id really like to hold your hand? And i know i shouldnt be so dependent on someone so far away nut like you said- we're obsessed with eachother. I know youre attached to me now, but occasionally i have to fight off the memory that you left me before? Not only left, but left for someone else? Its coming back now because it hurts so badly that you spoke to her again, and didnt tell me, althiugh i know i have no right to know. I hate living eith the fear that you could so easily go back to her, and i saw a post about if you stood in a crowded room who would you run to and it kills me that i know you would run straight to her. I dont understand why you would come back to me when shes still there, and i hate that im getting so attached to you again and i remeber how much it hurt last time. I tried to forget you with loads of other guys but now we talk again i know they dont compare at all? I shouldnt be this dependant on you i know, but i almost believe you when you say you feel the same until i remember that YOU LEFT. I know deep down we wont last, but when you go back to her at least ill have our texts, and your letters to remember the boy i cared about more than myself.

i miss how you used to be, i stayed alive for you. when i thought i lost all hope you were the one to keep me here. you said you would love me forever and never leave, you care, we sung together and shared memories. even when the whole time you were going behind my back. liar, cheater, but i will always love you my love

Hey, I just wanted to remind you that I'm still here... I have been for a year now. Please contact me, it's so hard without you. I love you.

I genuinely hope you feel guilty for the rest of your life for what you did to me. I hope it keeps you up at night.

It killed me watching you love someone else I just wanted you to be happy and let you be.
And I'm so proud of you I never stopped loving you.Forever and always.

Feliz cumpleaños, gracias por todo, quisiera que nunca me hubieras lastimado, todavía te sigo esperando, te quiero.

I was really excited when i first met you, you were too. But i guess you also did that with everyone else.

why did you do what you did that one day? you said you would never do anything a wasn't okay with but you did that anyway. i acted like i was fine and pretended like i forgave you but i just kept acting after that. it messed me up so badly. i hated being in my body more than i ever have and i could barely look at myself for days. you were the person who made me feel the most safe after that i really just didnt know how to think about you

please come back, i miss you so much, i miss your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your hair, your voice, everything. i dont know why you left, but i wish you'd love me again like how you used to. i still love you.

you were the one who made everything go away. you were able to make the things in my head quiet for the amount of time you held me in your arms and made everything else in the world disappear. i was addicted to you. and even though i loved that feeling and just cared and loved you so much you were so bad for me. but i felt so responsible for you. what we had was so toxic and i still fail to understand that because i saw so much good in you. but in reality you just were changing yourself for me. it was somewhat for the better but once i left you just lost it. i wanted to help you get better but i cant be destroying myself everyday to keep you good. because i was losing it. i was hurting so badly. but i didnt care. its bad but its jsut how i am. knowing me if you tried to come back i might take you back and its horrible. i just really wanted to believe and help you and get the happy ending. all i wanted was to finally have someone and not have it all go wrong. not be screw over in the end. but i happened again. i just cant win. i hope you get better.

apart of me is so bitter about it. i just want to show off "how much better im doing" just to throw it in ur face but really im not. you really wrecked me.

I wish we could be together. You make me the happiest. I am always happy with you. I wish I were attracted to you

Some days I miss you more than others, today is one of those days. I hope we can be together again one day.

Quiero besar cada parte de tu cuerpo con la que te sientas insegura y hacer que la ames, a pesar de que no me hables y que probablemente yo no te importe, quiero ayudarte, quiero hacer que te ames, me gustaría que te vieras con mis ojos para que aprecies lo hermosa que sos. Me gustaría que puedas comer sin culpa, sin sentirte fea, sin estar pendiente de tu cuerpo, que te mires al espejo y veas lo bella que sos, que dejes de llorar por como te ves, que dejes de sentirte insuficiente.
No sabes lo que daría para que te sientas cómoda y segura con tu imagen.

Sometimes I wish we never were. But if we didn’t, I would have never learned how to be better because I hit rock bottom with you. You might have broken my brain and I broke your heart, but thanks to you I know what I need. Which is not you, and never will be.

I love you and I’m sorry I let you down. I love you still. I’m sorry I’m not strong right now and can’t better myself for you. I promise I will be better for you. I promise I will be okay again

you ruined my one friendship w the person who’s been w me the longest and only wanted to love me and i pushed him away for u. for u to not even want me soon after.

so ik i could never tell you this in person cause you have no idea how i really do but i had a dream with u in it and it felt more right than anything else. it was u and me and thats how it was suppose to be and u made me feel safe n we lived together and i woke up next to you. we kissed in the stupid rain to that stupid song i showed you that one time. the feeling in that dream was so strong that i still feel it sometimes. its stupid cause ik it doesn't mean anything in real life, but uh maybe one day ill be able to tell you.

You were the whole night sky to me. You made me open up in ways no one else could. But it's all different now.

I thought about you everyday after you left. You were my whole life and I couldn`t function without you. I love you.

llevo semanas llorando hasta las 5 de la mañana pensando en que hice mal y pq te alejaste tan de golpe

i wish i had the guts to go up to you and say how i feel instead of letting the butterflies scare me off

cuando me preguntas cuál fue muy sueño me hago la tonta, pero en realidad sueño en comerte toda la puta boca, jdr

mi sueño más grande es poder viajar a tu país y ahí soltarte todo lo que siento en cuanto te tenga delante

i've had some sort of connection with you since i met you 5 years ago. We both changed and grew up a lot and I never thought we could have a friendship after 2018 but we made it work for a bit. I think it's both of our faults the dysfunctions of our relationship were uncovered, but i wish so bad you were still the person i thought you were. I know you are still willing to live under that delusion. But I can't cope changing everything just to be convenient to you when you put in no effort for me. I care about you so much. You said you weren't like everyone else and you are - in fact, you always have been, and I always knew that deep down, but i thought leaving you would be more painful than staying. This is hurting me so bad, and I know its not hurting you because you never cared about me like that, which makes it worse. As much of a dickhead as you are, in the back of my head i still want us to end up together - knowing everything you have done. In reality the perception of you in my head is much warped from who you are now, and i need to accept that. I wish I didn't have to. But i do. i should have ages ago, but i just hoped you would get better. But you didn't. i believe that if people are meant to be in each others lives we will naturally come back to each other. We always came back to each other. But it never seems to work out. I just wish you felt of me how i felt for you. I thought the world of you, for no reason because you aren't who i thought you were. I know i am not perfect, but i have given you everything i can for 2 years. I wish you could just appreciate me and want me. The sad thing is i know if you did want me i would forget about this in a heartbeat and run to you - i really shouldn't, but i would. I don't know why it is you but it is. And i am scared it always will be, even though i am nothing to you.

I wish i could go back to the night we met... where we forgot about everything, just admired the stars and talked.

I still love you and I think I will never stop loving you. That sucks because you’re really an asshol, fuck you

i still listen to our song. it makes my soul hurt and my insides burn. i'll still take care of you if you ask me to

Gracias por hacerme sentir mil cosas a la vez, gracias por hacer que me vuelva mas segura y no soltarme nunca.
ojala todos encuentren a una persona como vos

I don't know why I couldn't cry, maybe it was because I didn't love you as much as I thought I did and I was just used to you being

even after everything u have done, if u wanted me i would drop everything. it is taking every inch of me to walk away rn, and even then, i still hope u will come back as someone who can care for me like i cared for u.

I want you to know that it was always you. I couldn’t tell you that then, but now I realize how broken I am without you. I want you to want me. I want you to miss me. I want to tell you that you meant the world to me and finally made me feel alive. Please come back. ♡︎

Només espero passejar per Barcelona agafats de la mà l'any que ve, t'enyoro més que a res en aquest món, tan de bo tornis.

i'll always respect the way that you never even showed the slightest bit of dislike to me, even after what i did

i know you thought i didn't want you in my life but i thought of you all summer long i just didn't know how you felt

You taught me how to love, but more importantly you taught me how much it hurts when someone you love leaves

i miss playing fortnite with you even if we never won, we joked around and cared for each other. i miss that, and i know I’ll never get it back.

i miss playing fortnite with you even if we never won, we joked around and cared for each other. i miss that, and i know I’ll never get it back.

i miss playing fortnite with you even if we never won, we joked around and cared for each other. i miss that, and i know I’ll never get it back.

You meant more to me than I did to myself but I wasn’t anything to you and that hurt more than anything

i still remember the first time you grabbed my hand in the store and i wondered if this is what being in love felt like. did you have any idea i love/d you as more than a friend?

I can’t believe you’re fucking married. I’m happy for you but I’m sad for me. I wish our summer together was endless.

You werent my love but my friend, or so I thought. You broke me more than anyone else ever could. I lost so many friends because of you and you brought up a subject extremely sensitive to me and tried to ruin my life with it. I hope tearing me down made you feel better bitch. I blocked you for a reason

i love you but i feel like all u want is to do things with me and i just want to be loved the way i love you so please stop touching me all the time it gets annoying and i don’t like it that much, can we get matching lego necklaces or rings or matching song lyrics bios, that would be much cuter and thank you for the tik tok u made me:)