Unsent Messages

you were the one who made everything go away. you were able to make the things in my head quiet for the amount of time you held me in your arms and made everything else in the world disappear. i was addicted to you. and even though i loved that feeling and just cared and loved you so much you were so bad for me. but i felt so responsible for you. what we had was so toxic and i still fail to understand that because i saw so much good in you. but in reality you just were changing yourself for me. it was somewhat for the better but once i left you just lost it. i wanted to help you get better but i cant be destroying myself everyday to keep you good. because i was losing it. i was hurting so badly. but i didnt care. its bad but its jsut how i am. knowing me if you tried to come back i might take you back and its horrible. i just really wanted to believe and help you and get the happy ending. all i wanted was to finally have someone and not have it all go wrong. not be screw over in the end. but i happened again. i just cant win. i hope you get better.