Unsent messages to HIM

hi its me again. i just wanted to remind you how much i love you. i still do. i also wanted to say that i really miss the idea of you thats stuck inside my head .

i really like u, and i really am so fking jealous bc sometimes it looks like you're having more fun with them and me and its bc i dont want to lose u

You know that quote that goes 'stop texting first and you see how many dead flowers you've been watering'. Well I've come to realise that you were the flower in this relationship and it's sad because it hurts. it really hurts...

Hey i really want to reach out to you but i’ve realised that you have moved on, and i think it’s better for me to move on too but you’re the only one i’ve truly loved, i loved you more then i loved myself. i miss you a lot

i smile whenever i hear your name , our old messages will always make me smile , you have no idea how happy you make me

you were the right person but it was the wrong time. i’m sorry i couldn’t love you then, but i do now.

you were the right person but it was the wrong time. i’m sorry i couldn’t love you then, but i do now.

i didn’t realize how much you cared about me until u started to ask if I was eating, if I was taking care of myself, I didn’t realize u actually wanted me for me and not my body. i realizes I fell for you

I’m not sure what exactly is love, but what I felt for you was strong, and I thought u felt the same way, that you would take the time to get to know me, but I guess I was wrong my expectations were to high about you, you wanted those loud, confident, curly head, skinny girls and I wasn’t that I just wish I could’ve been told you my feeling in middle school so I wouldn’t have gone through what I did in 9th grade you made me waste my time I mean it’s not your fault I guess it’s my fault for getting attached to easily, but fuck you for sending me mixed signals, and leading me on, you was on my mind 24/7 you would always look at me since 7th grade then when I finally grew the balls to tell u my feelings you just brush them away fuck you, I’m so happy I moved cause I don’t think I would be able to stay at that school and see you everyday with different girls knowing that you know about my feelings I don’t know if what I felt for u was love but I’m now slowly forgetting about you and focusing on myself I’m done with boys for now, hopefully those feeling for u that I had are gone but I know as soon as I see your face again I will crumble, all the progress I’ve made will be gone just by the sight of your face and all those feeling will come rushing back.

hey, its been a while. i just wanted to see how you were doing after you broke my heart into 420 pieces. i wanted to forget the fact that you chose her over me. I've grown into a more mature and confident person and I finally realized you were the reason why I looked and felt the way I was. i regret wasting all of my time, my tears and my heart on you. this is my official letting go letter. the man upstairs once said "forgive and forget" tho its hard I always remember god is with me through it all.

i'm back already. you wanna know what i miss. i miss the late night facetimes. the nights where we would dance until we fell over. when i would teach you how to throw it back, that was so funny. or when we would just sit there staring at each other. i never really knew what you were looking at. or what about when you would help me with my school work. that was the best. lmao remember when i turned in a picture of you for my flipgrid. or sometimes when we would just lay on our sides acting like we were next to each other. we were half asleep and had no clue what we were saying but it was still the best. one of my favorite memories was when you fell asleep. i mean i think. i still have no clue to this day if you were asleep or not. i kind of hope you were because i spilled my guts out that whole time. i also miss our emoji battles. somehow you always won. i mean i was a sucker for the heart emoji. you know today i was on the phone with my little cousin and she goes okay layna love you goodnight. and i went to my room and cried exactly 3 tears. each of them had a different reason too. the first one, because i hadn't heard that name since you would call me it. the second because i've heard you say that exact sentence before. and the last one, because i know i won't, most likely ever, hear you say that again. i'm surprised i didn't start balling but i don't really know. i really do think we're meant to be. i personally think that is what love feels like, what it looks like, and what it should be like. hey i know we're literally only in 8th grade but trust me when i say looking at you was, "looking right at the other half of me." anyways, i miss you a ton. and i hope we find our way back to each other really soon. i don't know how much longer i can handle without you to be honest. xoxo stay safe.

i don't know if you were my first love, i suppose i'll never know. i like to think i have moved on from you but some days you're in my mind and i hate that. i know you don't feel the same but i can't come to terms with it. i don't need closure, i just have to figure out how to stop feeling this way.

I considered you my first love, until I met him. Then I realized what love was, and it wasn't your manipulation or lies.

I took us constantly going back to each other as a sign that we were meant to be together when I didn't see each time we broke it off for a reason

you're the only reason i get up in the mornings. you make me happy. but things feel different lately. doesn't feel the same... but i still love you

i remember when you first showed up in class and everyone just stared at you, i remember thinking, "i want to be friends with him he looks like a good kid" i was SO nervous to talk to you. it was so scary. and now look at where we are. i just wish i could tell you everything that goes in my life, im just not ready. one day ill be ready, but its not today. i hope you actually did love me. i dont really think you ever did but idk its fine. im sorry for being so awkward, you were my first love and i didnt know what it would be like. i hated myself for so many reasons. thank you, thank you for staying by my side, youre the only person that i have left. i hope life treats you good.

- your second love

I don't even know where to start. It's been months and somehow I still think about you and have feelings for you. Energy does not lie. Somehow I still have love for you. I know not to wonder why you did the things you did because you probably don't know either. I know getting over someone and moving on takes time. I deserve so much better and I deserve the world. I deserve a man who loves me for me not the idea of me. I know not to wonder why. I am healing from you. You were my best friend and I remember when we broke up it was like you didn't care at all. Then you started texting me you regret it. I shouldn't be left confused or wondering why, because I deserve more than that. You knew what I go through but you still did all of that to me. I know the higher power or the universe is making room for people who deserve to be in my life. You made me realize how much I need to raise my standards and you made me realize I deserve so much more. Surprisingly I still miss you, there are these times where things would happen and you're the first one that comes to my mind, I wanna tell you so much but I can't. But if it's meant to be it'll be, I know not to have hope. I want the best for you and I hope you learned and this makes you a much better person. I loved you so much.

jayden i love u with my whole heart and i want u to be mine forever i want u to be my future and my missing half i have never felt for anyone the way i feel for u pls just love me back ducking date me or realize i’m the best ur gonna have

I don't think you fully realise how much you mean to me dude. I didn't expect to fall for you this hard you know.

hi lol ik you told me you’re scared about relationship stuff and i’ve liked u for a while now and i don’t think i ever got over you from september when dating yk who, so carrying around that guilt became a lot. the one thing i want most rn is to be your girl and for ******* to be GONE ALREADY. ik u think she’s hot or whatever but it hurts to know that you are seeing other girls who are prettier than me and maybe getting more interested in them. ya ik i’m not the prettiest girl and you can think anyone is hot idc but it still hurts bc i compare myself to them and push myself away bc i think you want a chance with them. i need signs to show me if you actually want something from this. bc we have a pretty interesting relationship that is beyond friends.

I wish we stilled talked to each other. I hate that where strangers now. I miss the talks we used to have.

I know you're out there somewhere. We were meant for something better. You're the best news that I can't share. Wait for me. I swear I'll find you. I couldn't be more in love with you. Everything I've ever done, I want to experience with you. Keep your heart open.

I hope we find each other again. until then I hope we both grow.. so we can love eachother to the fullest this time. you are truly my soulmate:)

it took a year to get over you, to realize i deserved better. thanks for the heartbreak, it made me stronger

I want to be as close to you as I can. I want to listen to the song of your heart. I want to gently kiss your neck and tell you how much I love you.

he makes me feel infinite... like i can do anything and no one will judge me... like im the prettiest person on this planet. i love him so much and i would do anything to make him feel this way as well.

ive never ever in my years of my life felt this way about someone like you. you light up my day like no tomorrow. every notification i get from you makes my heart race. im always constantly thinking " can he see me?" "what would he do if he saw me rn?" you replay in my brain 24/7. im always waiting for your snap back. i dont see you nearly ever but idc, even hearing you silly voice is okay to me. i love your smell, everytime you give me a hug i just inhale "your" smell. you are always making me feel better but you can also be an asshole without knowing. i care for you 24/7 im just too shy to show it. but please open up to me for once. i want you and nobody else cant you see?? if you see this just know your name in my phone is "my fav person," for a reason. i love when you care for me when people call me something. i love that you always make people smile and laugh. i wish i had your confidence let alone i wish i had you right next to me rn but i cant. even though we live miles away from each other i still am always loving you no matter what. i just want answers thats all. im always overthinking about you bc im not confident in myself, bc you have much prettier girls living by you. i just hope you mean what you say to me bc if you are my person and without you idk what id do...

i can't believe i ever liked you. you ruined me and my friends. three of my friends left the group because of you. you've changed a lot. now i realized i liked you the old you. not you right now. i had to get it off my chest.

i'm hoping this works out. i have so much faith in us, and you're just someone i need in my life now. you're my yellow now.

you were my everything, and you had me convinced I was yours. You ruined me and stripped me of love I thought was real. I have forgiven you but I never want to talk to you again.

You don't understand how it feels to see you with her or how i can see your eyes literally smile when you talk about her. You don't understand that I want to be ''her''

I want to tell you that you are my everything, but the timing is always off with us, and I'm afraid it will never be right.

I'm sorry I hurt you. I think I liked the idea of you. You were easy. You were all i ever knew, but I couldn't do easy anymore. I am sorry. We might find our way to each other, but maybe not. You still make me smile

Why cant you just tell me that you love me? Why are you not showing that you love me? were you just playing this with my feelings..?

maybe it would have been better if i have never met you so i couldve spared myself to what real heartbreak feels like

I know I messed up and I put you through so much, and I’m sorry. You deserved so much better and I want you to know that. I really think that we’re right person, wrong time but you probably don’t think that. Just the way we could talk about anything for hours and it could be dead silent and we could be just looking at each other and I still wouldn’t be bored, but I messed it up and I know I did. I hope you’re so much happier right now than you were with me. I care about you and love you so much.

sometimes i go back and wonder if i was just a game to you , how we would fall asleep on the phone how my mom met you and how much she loved you . we were toxic for each other and how many times did we run back to each other and talk about our past and the little things that made us happy . now seeing you happy with her , makes me happy but also rips me apart , i miss you but i know we cant do nothing cause it seems like you happy and im still stuck on you and all our memories but i dont bother you cause i respect your relationship
just know i love you and will forever be here if you need me

you messed me up really bad and idk how i'm ever going to get into another relationship without being scared of them randomly leaving. i don't even know what a real relationship is anymore. still miss u tho lol.

i like you, i talked about you to your bsf. I'm sure you don't back tho, its okay. Thats life it happens. Right?

I'm scared that I'm falling out of love with you, But I don't want to because you're the first guy I've ever wanted to marry.

i just recently found out how you felt about me. sorry I don't feel the same way:/ like really really sorry

you always make me so happy and every time i’m by you nothing can go wrong you are the best thing that happened to me

when frank ocean said "I'm sure we're taller in another detention, you say we are small and not worth the mention" I never fully understood until I met you...

i can't wait to meet you. i've been manifesting so hard. i want nothing but the best for us, i love you

you haven't smelled like yourself lately. you've started smelling like her and dogs. i know you said you'd never cheat but it's getting harder and harder to believe you

You left like our time together meant nothing to you, that nothing ever happened between us. Now you’ve already moved on and are happy with her while I’m left to be broken

Remember the night I found an inchworm in your hair? I was in love with you but couldn’t even look you in the eye.

You broke me into a million pieces and you’re the reason i don’t believe true love exists. Yet a part of me still misses you everyday

I still think about you all the time, I see you every day but you're just somebody that I used to know now. I miss you

You were a lost Planet. A small solar system trying to find its adrift celestial body. I'll hope you find her one day