Unsent messages to HIM

I just wanted it to be somewhere out in the universe. I love you, and I think I love you in a very real way, like the way that allie loves noah in the notebook kind of way, or to more accurately place it, the way laurie loves jo. I know you can’t return it to me, but I love you and I just wanted it to be somewhere in writing that someone loves you more than you’ll ever know. please just be happy in life, I think you deserve the world. I hope you get to be an engineer and travel the world. I think you’re brilliant. if you ever think that you aren’t good enough just know that I feel in love with you the moment I meet you, and we were like 12. I know you think I hate you now, it’s just that i have to distance myself from you because it hurts me to be with you. i’m sorry this is all over the place.

Everytime your name comes up I have the urge to protect you and your feelings, even tho you never, even for a second cared about mine

We didn't work because we gave our hearts to the wrong people already but it's okay we thought they were the right ones then, now we are too broken to love each other and we both know we are the right ones.

you broke me and didnt care. thank you for everything i learned. "i cant have a relationship rn we are both going to college soon" yeah college in the same fucking city....and how is your new girl that you started dating 3 months after we ended things. i hope she breaks your heart

I wish I wasn’t so blinded with love. You hurt me so bad I may not be able to love everyone the same.

I wonder if you write to me on here... I see my name with specific words and it makes me wish you did.

sometimes I wonder if you actually love me or if it's just all a dare that your friends tell you would be funny

hope your happy with her. just know i’ll always be here for you whether your with her or not. please don’t treat her the way you treated me though. shit sucks.

i have never loved someone the way i love you. how can i love someone i've never met? i ask myself everyday but you made it happen. life was so empty without you, im here now, sitting in my room crying thinking of that you could leave me one day. what will i do without you? i finally have a reason. i love you

I felt alive around you and you let me go so easily? Was it just a fling because I think I fell in love with you. Text me

I know u dont love me the way that i love u and thats okay. i know u see me as ur best friend and that u never felt different about that. ur with her now, u deserve that. u never hurted me on purpose and u probably dont even know that u hurted me. i would die for u. i love you, forever.

dude i like u so much but u make me feel so stupid. my gut feeling says its u but ur actions makes me doubt myself.

why did u lie to me? all those empty words u said to me that meant so much for me but for u nothing, do u feel good now?

the one memory that I associate with our relationship was me crying in the corner and you not noticing.

I try to forget about you I really do but I am attached to you in a very weird way that I just can not comprehend . I know you're with her now but I need you to make it easier for me to forget you . We have class together soon and it will make it too hard for me . Make it easy , for me . Help me forget you .

I wanted to give you a great christmas this year because you’ve never liked it. then we broke up a month before

you’re so dry but i don’t care, you make me fall for you every single day. there’s not one day i don’t think about you.

you break me everytime you msg her when im with you, everytime and see you hug and laugh and kiss her. i know that you two are together but then why do i feel like we are, why do you say you dont want to be with her. i know we are bestfriends but i love you more than that.

i love you but not just in the way that we say we love each other, not like friends. when i say it this time i mean it, i mean it as if we were each others. but i can never tell you this because we are best friends and that would ruin everything but i think you feel the same way that i do i can sense it but we are both to shy to admit it. I LOVE YOU

Well, i do not know when will i meet you, but i truly hope is sometime soon.
I love you, but i don't know you yet.

i thought love was supposed to help you grow, not teach you to close yourself off. you taught me i am worthy of equally returned love. but you also taught me i was exhausting. you taught me i drag others down. after all we've been through, you taught me i will never truly be able to be cared for like i deserve.

i’ve shown interest in everything that you like even if i don’t enjoy it. why cant you do the same for me.

fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck u i hate u i hate u i hate u why cant u just love me back

I don't wanna be with you, but i don't want you to be with someone else. it hurts me but i know i'm toxic sorry xoxo

i think ive finally learned how to let go. thank you for the memories babe. it’s all just memories now.

sometimes i miss you so much i change my friends names to yours. i hate when you dry text me i hate when you don't talk to me. i just really like you okay.

Im not sure if I ever loved you, but apart of me thinks I did. I often wonder how life would have been different if I'd gone to that party, would you have not talken to her and spent time with me, would I have been your first kiss and not her ? I miss our talks about life and all our laughs, it pains me to see you walk around the halls but I hope your doing better because I know some of your darkest secrets and I just wish the best for you in the future.

I just wanted u to know that u broke my heart in a million peaces and u make me lose my smile and my old happy self .thank you. now my mom want have again her happy angel

i liked u the first time in 3th grade. u were my first crush. trough the years i didn't really liked u bc u were not in my friend group. but until before the summer . we kissed and i was so in love with u. but u ignored what happend between us. i was sad and upset. of course! but i never stoped liked u. i tried to hide it until now. i texted u everyday. and i told u that i loved u. but u only want my nudes. ur a freakin ASSHOLE. but i still fucking love u. i don't what to do now...

People say one of the worst things is meeting the right person at the wrong time, and what’s even worse is when only one of you realises it. I feel that with us.. I hope she treats you well :)

i hate how you make me smile, i hate how i laugh at everything you say, i hate how you changed your hair, i hate how everything i do reminds me of you, i hate how jealous i get when you talk to someone else, i hate how you’re always in my head, i hate it when i laugh at your stupid jokes, i hate how you make me cry. but the thing i hate most is the way i don’t hate you.

thank you. thank you for teaching me what love is. thank you for giving me the motivation to wake up every morning. thank you for all those times you made me laugh. thank you for those times when we would play games together, and as shit as you would say i was at them it just made me laugh even more. it’s you, it’s always you. a part of me will always love you. you’re the one i keep going back to. you’re the one who saved me. no one can compare to you. you’re the one i want.

i didn't really mean what i said last time kinda overdramatic but this one is gonna be completely honest:
i'll never really be sure of what we had/have unless i talk to u, but i'll never do that because i can't jeopardize our friendship. that means a lot to me so if that means i can never say anything, then i won't. when we get older, you might forget about me sooner or later, but i def won't forget about you. I'll never forget whatever we had/have

you hurt me a lot. i think about you all the time. we coulda been something special. but she always got in the way. i get it tho she's prettier and more popular. but we were something special and you know it too. we really coulda been. i know you felt what i felt but she was always in the way. we almost happened that night, but something got in the way. now i dont think anything will ever happen , but it could. you chose her and i chose you. maybe someday, in another lifetime, we'll meet again, and then we'll realize that we belonged together. we belonged together. but its fine. i miss u btw and i would choose you in a heartbeat. we could still be together, but i dont think we ever will be

idk if i loved you but i know i didn't hate you. you called me socially awkward and made fun of my family situation. you told me i was ugly and told me i was fat. you told me i dressed like a homeless man and said i was unattractive. but at the end of the day, i checked up on you. i checked up on you when you seemed off, when you were quiet and down. i tried, i really did. i tried to help you and make you feel again. you played with me.

i don’t think you realise how much i’m struggling without you, everyday i wake up and the only thing i can think about is going back to bed, i make all these plans but have to cancel them evacuees i’m too exhausted, you have really messed me up and i don’t know if i can get better :/

okay so...am i love with him? i’m not too sure, he makes me cry. makes me laugh sometimes...but no. i am not i love with him.

You knew i was hurting, and that only you could fix me.And you did, for the seventh time. But just like you fixed me, you were the reason i was hurting in the first place. And now you have finally broke me forever .

its tough cause Im still halve in love with you and you genuinely dont care but this shit takes time and thats what everyone keeps saying but how much more is it gonna take im so mentally drained all you did was cause pain and. the highs were so high but the lows were so low

hey,it's been more than a year since we broke up. you were my first love,the first boy i've ever loved. happily,i finally have moved on. i finally let go of my claim on u. but some nights, i still look at the ceiling and think about you. no,i don't miss you,i just miss you happy i was. but remember this,i'll always love u, you will always be so special to me and you will always have a special place in my heart. and i'm sorry that i wasn't good enough for you, but the fact that you left me because your friends made fun of u bothers me so much because i always told my friends that you aren't a bad person,while EVERYONE was telling me that shit. but seriously, thanks for breaking up with me,it made me a insensitive bitch but i am glad for that. i hope that you will be happy and that you'll have a girl that supports and loves u just as much as i did. love,me.

i told you i was going to love you forever. i promised you. i'm so sorry i let you down and pushed you away because of my own shitty mental health. i still love you and i always will.

I DESERVE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU GIVE ME BUT I LOWER THE BAR FOR YOU. MY FRIENDS HATE YOU AND THINK YOU ARE RUDE, EVEN YOUR FRIENDS THINK I DESERVE BETTER. WHY DO I LET MYSELF BE TREATED THIS WAY?

I'm always happy around you but I'm not. I'm falling to pieces when you disregard me. Watching you watch her and talk about girls kills me but I sit there with a smile on my face. I have sacrificed so much for you yet I am disregarded. Why should you be allowed to treat me like this? You shouldn't but for you, I'd pull my own heart from my chest and give it to you without thinking. You have made me into a different person and no matter what, I can not forget what could have happened. I love you endlessly and I want you to want me but I know you can't. I'd be ashamed of dating me too

hi. hello. It’s me. I feel like we never meant to hurt each other. It just felt like a cycle. You would fin someone new and leave me. I would get sad. Then things wouldn’t workout between u and ur “new girl” so you would come back to me. You always came back to me. And i always fell for it. Over and over and over again. You would fool me and say i never lost feelings for u. Not true. You were just scared of being lonely. You don’t always need a girl. I don’t know what its like to have someone. Ive ever been in a relationship before. I wanna feel loved. Like how you made me feel. How you would come and watch my games. Text me everyday. Give the best hugs. Or during lunch when i would look over to u and see u staring at me with a smile. You were so innocent. So pure. Now you left me. Again. For good this time. Every time we talk we get into a huge fight. You have a girlfriend now too. And obviously i wish yo too the best. But i messed up. I know i did. It was use so hard during quarantine because my parents didn’t let me see you because of covid. I’m sorry. I jut want to feel loved again. I miss going to ur house and watching horror movies on the couch. I miss little talks what your mom and sister. I shouldn’t hav elect you go. You were my first kiss. Ive never felt this way about someone. Why did I have to ruin everything. You were such a good listener. I told you everything. and you always knew what to say. But as we drifted, you got less caring. And stopped listening and stoping loving me i guess. You unaided me on snap. You Igonore me. You make me so jealous of your perfect life. With al ur friends. And perfect gf and amazing family and house. But here i am. Sad lonely i lost so many friends because of u. Everyone was on ur side when things went down. Why? Because u r popular. Because u have money. Because ur a boy. It’s so unfair. Life is unfair. I hate mine. Ive wanted to end it so many mf times but talking to u always helped me. It now I don’t have you anymore. I don’t have anyone. I wish I still had you. Maybe i could be happier. But just wait. I’m gonna get a boyfriend who is so caring and loving and has an amazing personality. And i cant wait to meet them. Because i am so ready for a relationship. I’m so ready for something new. I hope life treats u well. See you soon.

I know we're not dating anymore but, i wish i could come over and hug you. its my fault. im sorry. i love you.

Thank you for making me the person i am today. i wish you were here. you were the only one who loved me for who i was and i know ive gotten worse over the past two years but trust me, im okay. Im living, im breathing. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for accepting me. no one will ever replace you. you will always be the love of my life.I love you forever. rest easy my love. may we meet again.

i loved you. i never had the guts to tell you. i needed you, you were like an infection in my body. i couldnt sleep at night but. every second of everyday i loved you. you made me a wonderful person. you were the exact definition of right person wrong time.

i was so in love with the idea of having you that living through old messages became a knockoff reality. i only ended up hurting myself...

i don’t know if it’s love, or just an eighth grade crush. what i do know is that i get butterflies when you answer my texts. i get chills just thinking about you saying my name. maybe it’s just my hormonal teenage brain. but i also know that you don’t feel this way about me. you may like me back but you don’t like me how i like you. it breaks me knowing that i’m just an eighth grade crush to you, and not possibly anything more.

you never loved me. you loved to use me to kiss you then we would date in private. then you would cheat on me so many times and i fell for it. i don't love you anymore. i don't why i did in the first place. but she was right. i should of never unblocked you. should of never snapped you. im done.