I'M NOT ALLOWED TO LOVE YOU BUT I STILL DO. THEY ALL SAY IM TOO AFRAID TO ADMIT MY FEELINGS FOR YOU. THEY ARE RIGHT. I'M SCARED YOU'LL LEAVE AND THAT MIGHT JUST BE THE THING TO PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE.

time slows when im with him, but with you a minute feels like a second, thats all i've wanted for us, more time, i wish we had more time.

fuck you. i tried so hard everyday to not get mad at you when all you did was play your stupid fucking video games and ignore me to talk to your "friends" who'd only treat you like shit. i don't get it. i don't get it at all. even when you were with her i made sure you were always happy. after we started dating i made sure you were happy. i wish i didn't have to beg you to love me back. fuck you for breaking my heart. fuck you for telling me that you loved me and losing feelings a week later. fuck you for messing with me because your friends "told you to". and honestly fuck me. i fucking hate myself for still caring. for still loving you when all you did was hurt me. i wonder how many times i forgave you just because i didn't want to lose you. and you know what, i still lost you. you made me feel like i was never good enough. i wasn't good enough. you loved her. why couldn't you love me like that. you moved on while i'm trying to figure out where it all went wrong. you made me feel complete, but broke me at the same time. it's been almost a month but i still get excited when i hear my ringtone or finish practice because i'm expecting a text from you. if you could see how awful you made me feel, you would never be able to look me in the eyes again. i hate myself for still caring you, but now i really don't know what to feel. i still love you but i hope you find the girl who makes you happy. the brunette with brown eyes and big boobs. the girl who'll play video games with you. the girl i couldn't be.

I will wait for you, no matter who you are with or where you are. I will step aside and let you grow, and if you go ahead and fall in love with someone else, I know it’ll hurt me but I will survive. If you’re meant to come back to me, you will

I need you. So bad. And I wish you loved me back because I can’t imagine you holding anyone else the way you held me.

so why did you lie to me? why did you tell me you liked me and then pretended you didn’t when you know how much i liked ? why did you leave me for her? and most importantly, why wasn’t i got enough?

sometimes when i hear the sounds of the waves i think about you and become so grateful for the way you left me, in silence

idk what i could’ve done better but i never missed someone like u to this day... u were my first love e

the only thing i want atm is u playing guitar to me while givin me ur perfect smile. u are my happiness

I have met so many people, yet you are the only one that makes me smile, cry, hate and love all at the same time.

I lied I still liked you but it’s better for you to be with someone who isn’t mentally drained. Hope you’re happy you deserve it

I dreamt about you it was the first time I dreamt of a life where I was older and we were together and in love i know it’ll never happen but I’ll keep dreaming

i trusted you like no one else, and you proved it was a mistake. and the worst part is that you thought it was just for fun.

please come back, tell me you regret leaving...tell me that you miss me and that you still love me. i need you, you were the only person i had, please come back...with you I'm happy.

why am i not your type? we've planned to meet in NYC so many times. planned to have late night adventures. planned to see and do so many thing.. but everytime i think its going good, you talk to me about her. its always her. i want to be yours.

my heart mourns everyday for you, for you to love me.

fuck you. for not fighting for me. for giving up on us. and you're right, I am better off without you.

i don’t think you realise how much i’m struggling without you, everyday i wake up and the only thing i can think about is going back to bed, i make all these plans but have to cancel them evacuees i’m too exhausted, you have really messed me up and i don’t know if i can get better :/

my whole world was crashing down and the only thing that mattered to me in that moment was that you were okay

If only you could just apologize, and actually mean it. What you did to me that night I will never forget.

You still remain the only person I trust to tell all my secrets and difficulties. Open my heart, in fact

You still remain the only person I trust to tell all my secrets and difficulties. To open my heart, in fact

idk if i loved you but i know i didn't hate you. you called me socially awkward and made fun of my family situation. you told me i was ugly and told me i was fat. you told me i dressed like a homeless man and said i was unattractive. but at the end of the day, i checked up on you. i checked up on you when you seemed off, when you were quiet and down. i tried, i really did. i tried to help you and make you feel again. you played with me.

you loved me first, but got with her. i was the first choice then became the second. why did you lead me on?

you hurt me a lot. i think about you all the time. we coulda been something special. but she always got in the way. i get it tho she's prettier and more popular. but we were something special and you know it too. we really coulda been. i know you felt what i felt but she was always in the way. we almost happened that night, but something got in the way. now i dont think anything will ever happen , but it could. you chose her and i chose you. maybe someday, in another lifetime, we'll meet again, and then we'll realize that we belonged together. we belonged together. but its fine. i miss u btw and i would choose you in a heartbeat. we could still be together, but i dont think we ever will be

I love being your friend. But you're so sweet and caring, its hard to not think about how happy you make me. You deserve the world.

i didn't really mean what i said last time kinda overdramatic but this one is gonna be completely honest:
i'll never really be sure of what we had/have unless i talk to u, but i'll never do that because i can't jeopardize our friendship. that means a lot to me so if that means i can never say anything, then i won't. when we get older, you might forget about me sooner or later, but i def won't forget about you. I'll never forget whatever we had/have

I want to be with you so bad, i say that i dont want a relationship but i do with you. I just cant take the risk of losing you. I love you.

I never thought you'd see these. I don't know why I need to tell you how bad I miss you. I don't need you anymore, though. There's no more void. The shrooms helped me realize that. Either that, or I've grown apathetic. Who cares, I don't need you anymore and that's the moral of the story. I think you deserve good things. I want to know how your life is going. Always. I just don't need *you* anymore. I don't need you actively in my life. How fucking neat is that? I love that. I still love you, but not in a soulmate way. You're not my soulmate. I found him and he's perfect and I'm afraid I won't be enough for him. I think you and her are good, though. She's gorgeous. Did you settle for me, then? Because I'm no where near her caliber. I did see you in a single shirt, though!! Very proud of you for that. Seriously. I'm glad you feel that comfortable with her. I'm a bit jealous of that, but then again, I never took showers with you, but I'm here, wrapped in a towel, as the love of my life brushes his hair. Isn't that so funny? God. Anyway. I love you, my friend. I hope you stay well. I hope she makes you so happy. I hope you fall in love and I get to see you again sometime. Maybe one last hug? I always fit so well in the crook of your shoulder. Goodnight.

thank you. thank you for teaching me what love is. thank you for giving me the motivation to wake up every morning. thank you for all those times you made me laugh. thank you for those times when we would play games together, and as shit as you would say i was at them it just made me laugh even more. it’s you, it’s always you. a part of me will always love you. you’re the one i keep going back to. you’re the one who saved me. no one can compare to you. you’re the one i want.

it sucks to think I'll never know if you genuinely appreciate me or not and it sucks because I still think about what could have been

i hate how you make me smile, i hate how i laugh at everything you say, i hate how you changed your hair, i hate how everything i do reminds me of you, i hate how jealous i get when you talk to someone else, i hate how you’re always in my head, i hate it when i laugh at your stupid jokes, i hate how you make me cry. but the thing i hate most is the way i don’t hate you.

I’m giving you so many chances to fix everything we had, but when you decide to do it, I won’t care because at some point I will get tired of hurting myself.

I don't understand you anymore, you make me doubt of myself. Idk what's right or wrong. Your ILY didn't even last a month

For so long I was blinded by who you really were because I so badly wanted you to be the person I thought I knew.

You were my best friends crush but I loved you too there’s no way I could leave this situation without one of us getting hurt.

I miss you more, everyday. I miss laying next to you. I miss feeling safe in your arms. You made me the happiest I’ve ever been.

People say one of the worst things is meeting the right person at the wrong time, and what’s even worse is when only one of you realises it. I feel that with us.. I hope she treats you well :)

i liked u the first time in 3th grade. u were my first crush. trough the years i didn't really liked u bc u were not in my friend group. but until before the summer . we kissed and i was so in love with u. but u ignored what happend between us. i was sad and upset. of course! but i never stoped liked u. i tried to hide it until now. i texted u everyday. and i told u that i loved u. but u only want my nudes. ur a freakin ASSHOLE. but i still fucking love u. i don't what to do now...

I just wanted u to know that u broke my heart in a million peaces and u make me lose my smile and my old happy self .thank you. now my mom want have again her happy angel

Im not sure if I ever loved you, but apart of me thinks I did. I often wonder how life would have been different if I'd gone to that party, would you have not talken to her and spent time with me, would I have been your first kiss and not her ? I miss our talks about life and all our laughs, it pains me to see you walk around the halls but I hope your doing better because I know some of your darkest secrets and I just wish the best for you in the future.

sometimes i miss you so much i change my friends names to yours. i hate when you dry text me i hate when you don't talk to me. i just really like you okay.

Even though we have not spoken in weeks, you are still everywhere. You are in the rain, the sun and every song i listen to. I hope you are okay.

i miss the way u missed me. the late night texts. the hang outs. i miss u and i dont know if u were my first love or not but i just feel like we could have talked it out and connected. but u lied and it really stuck with me its been 10 months and every days the same and i miss u even more and think about u non stop. its just why her, the most basic girl out of everyone i just dont get it. i know u liked her from the jump but its just not fair. everyone tells me about how bad u were and toxic but i just miss the old u and the way u were there for me and always checked up on me. i hate how i still miss u and want u back when rn ur out hu with girls. im glad u got ur first kiss, i had a feeling u wanted to have it with me. but that never played out. its stupid to say but i feel like u were the right person wrong time and it really sucks. i hate it a lot actually. and these past months ive been missing u and u dont even have a clue. i just hope one day we come back together and figure out all our differences and just be happy together. and i want u to go back to ur old days, the old times where u were u and u were happy. thats the guy i miss and cherish. i dont and will never miss the new u and i know i wont. u turned into a real shitty person who knows it all and i hate it but its not going to stop me from wanting u and wanting to fix u. to help u go back to being the real u thats who i miss so much. i love u so much is unbearable.

i think ive finally learned how to let go. thank you for the memories babe. it’s all just memories now.

if you haven't figured yourself out. why would you lead me on for a month then say you aren't ready out of nowhere then breakup with me

you are the first guy i ever loved and you are my reason to live but now that your with her u make everything hurt

i made a mistake writing to you before. i can never tell you how I feel especially now so I just need to forget it. forget you. i know you forgot me. i cant do this anymore get out of my head

I’m giving you so many chances to fix everything we had and when you decide to do it, I won’t care because at some point I will get tired of hurting myself.

I know your going to break my heart one day, I say I trust you but after everything, I just don’t. I’m madly in love with you so when you do eventually crush my heart, I’ll know the time we have head together has been life changing but please don’t break my head you mean everything to me

When u decide to fix everything that we had, I won't care, because at some point I'll just get tired of hurting myself.