Unsent messages to HIM

I really don‘t know where to Start. I just wanted to say that i miss u. I really do. Maybe one day we can try again?

we promised 4 am instant noodles and 10pm dancing in the rain. instead all I got was a broken heart and you got her.

we’re soulmates. there’s no way somewhere we didn’t workout. i will see you in another dimension loser

i just hate the fact that we didnt try. but now its too late. you're gone. and i still think about you every second.

i just wish u had opened ur eyes before, i knew this was coming and you would get hurt. i would never hurt u like she did, but u didnt believe me. i miss u.

i sincerely hope that one day we meet again and finish our story because it wasn't supposed to end like this.

Hi,
It is me again!
I know you have moved on, and I am happy 4 u. It is just so unfair that I am stuck on the same shit, that I am dealing with this and cannot seem to move on after almost a year. I met sb else, I feel like we fit together so good! But also that did not turn out great, I got ghosted and dissapointment strikes again - used to it already.. Cause love just does not turn out great for me... I would like to let you know, that you will ever have a place in my heart, no matter how hard u fucked up. I just feel like I deserve the happiness you have rn. It is just the least - I need sb, just like I needed you back then.

Goodbye, live your life and I am there if u need me, 4eva.
xx

I love you and you don’t even know it but Ik you wouldn’t feel the same. It’s been 3 years since we met and every time I look at you my world
changes.

You taught me how to love myself, you made me feel like a princess. I love you so fucking much you don't even know. ur my whole world. but ur slipping away and the shittiest part is that i cant do anything. ill love u forever. thank u for everything. u kno ill always b here for u whenever.im sorry if i did anyhting to make u loose feeling. im rlly sorry if i did.

hey amo, mir hei es zitli nümm mitenand gredet aber ih wott ds weish ds keh sekunde vergeit i dere ih ni a di denke. mir hei so scheisse viu erlebt i nur 2 mönet oder so. ih ha denkt ih ha di am afang fr immer verlore und denn hani di doch wdr a mire sitte kah. du hesh mir mi leid und kummer durch dis lache und dini wörter lah verschwinde.. weish no als mir immer bis 10 am morge ft hei.. wie oft am tag mir gsnapt hei..wie du mir immer über dini sorge verzeut hesh so wie ih über dini. aus du mir dini ganzi ufmerksamkeit gschenkt hesh du hesh mir zgfüh geh die einzigi i dine ouge zi und das ish eine vo de gründ werum ih mi verliebt ha. buebe wie dich gits nümme..hani denkt u ih ha würk denkt du meinsch aues was gseid hesh vorauem bish extra fr mi nach bern cho und scho aus ih di ha umarmt hani mi sicher gfüht idine arme und die rose wo mir geh hesh ich schmiltz. du hesh mir so viu liebi zeigt a dem tag ong ih ha denkt ih ha mi zuekünftig ehemaa gfunde, der vater vo mine chinder mahn. ih ha dir mini jungfrälichkeit geeh mahn u du machsh de..sitt meh aus 4 wuche kehs fucking zeiche vo dir khört. du bish gange ohni ebbis sege..ih hülle weg dir 24/7 und du merksh es nimau. dini lüge hei mi zerstört. wenn du ds lisish ih wünsche dir zbeste vor weut pass uf di uf und ja bye. ps ti amo

for so long i’ve wanted to know what it feels like to be loved by you. i guess that day is never coming

the way you lied to me will stay in my heart forever. i cared so much and you just used it to make fun of it to you're friends. i'm kinda over you but the pain in my heart when i said she was ur new gf was so much . you have a piece off my heart please take care for it and don't break it to. i loved you so much why you hurt me like that? someone please talk to me. i love you

thank you for making me fall inlove with the sky, it reminds me of the first day we met each time I look at it at night, and even tho we are completely different people now you’re still a shitty person.

I dropped you because I knew I deserved better. I dropped you because you couldn't handle me. Just saying, I'm not sorry.

You were all I thought about and you were all I needed but I wasn’t even you’re priority and the worst part is I was okay with that

You left me when i was the most in love, lost in you. It's been a year and still nobody compares to you.

The fact that you dare to miss me gets me so mad. Weren't you the one who let me leave? I left for a good reason. I let you go because I knew you were a lying and manipulating person who couldn't keep his promises. You promised me so much yet lied about it all. You said we would get married. You told me we were forever. But when I left, I didn't see the determination in you to keep me. That's when I knew I had to let go.

I don't know what to say. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. I'm just so hurt. Why did you lie to me? Why did you make me suffer so much pain after I begged you not to hurt me? I opened up to you about my past and told you about him. I told you about how he broke me and how he used me. I was so serious about you, but you took me as a joke and ended up using me because you were bored. Was I not good enough? What did I do? Why did you promise me loyalty if you were going to talk to ten more girls? I'm so tired of wondering where I went wrong for you to use me for your benefit. You hurt me and left me broken and in pain. All my questions remain unanswered because of your constant lies. All I asked was for your honesty. I begged you for it. You knew I needed reassurance. But you didn't give it to me because EVERYTHING you told me was a lie after lie. I even confronted you about lying to me about loyalty, and all you had to say was, ''I don't know what you're talking about''. It's not fair. At all. I gave you my heart and trusted you. But you took it and shattered it, even after I asked you not to. After I found out what you did to me, I lost complete respect for you. I knew I had to let you go. I forcefully stopped loving you because I knew you were wrong for me. I knew you weren't who I pictured you to be. You did so many things behind my back. Things you promised me you'd never do. I'm so hurt by what you did. All the pain you put me through. You moved on after two days. You went to see a girl and left me in despair. You told people lies about me but, why? Did I truly mean nothing to you? What did I mean to you? I'm so curious it hurts me. I just want answers to get closure.

You can’t keep going and coming back like nothings changed. You say you want me and yet act like you don’t. I still love you

We went from buying a private island to live on it to strangers in one week.
You will always have a special place,even if I don’t.

U’re that type of boy that I always swear Im never gonna fall, but, I think that I did it and... f*ck what it supose that I dot ?

I used to see love as a vibrant red colour, but ever since you left it’s turned to black.Thanks for that :)

I have loved you since we met, and can’t stop thinking about you. You are the only one and I can’t tell you. I want you to be happy, but I want you to be happy with me. You’re special, I can’t say why but I love you.

this is the colour of your eyes. i wish i cold stare at you again, wondering if i mean something to you

i wish it didn’t hurt so much to love and care about you but we can’t get what we want, i hope you’re happy with her :(

Loneliness is difficult to accept. I won't lie after I left you, I proceeded to ask myself if I made the right decision to leave. It was so hard for me to let go. I didn't want to. It was the last thing I wanted to do. I wasn't mentally ready to since I loved you. I wanted to stay, but I knew I couldn't, not after what you did. You lied and manipulated me into thinking you were right. All the stories people told me were the truth. There was proof, and when I confronted you about it, you denied it. That's what made me furious. You were a liar. But I refused to accept it because I was so attached too to you. Everyone told me that you weren't the right person for me and that anyone else could give me the affection you gave me, but they're wrong. You made me feel as if I was able to breathe. As if I've been underwater for a long time and then coming up to take a big breath of air. I was so hurt. The amount of pain I was in is indefinable. Why did you lie to me? Was I not good enough for you? I told you to leave if you weren't going to be committed to me. I told you I was hurt and that I was scared. I begged you not to use me if you were bored. Yet you still did. And every day, I ask why.

whats the thing that makes you so scared that you have to play someone that you have feelings deep down?

I'm sorry, we didn't last long enough to take that walk on the beach. I know I had a hard time expressing my love toward you but that didn't mean the love wasn't there. Thank you for helping me recover, and I'm sorry I didn't know how to help you when you needed it. I messed up, I know now. I hope one day you can forgive me. And I hope you're able to take her to the beach like we were going to. I love you, please don't forget about our good times. I hope you still like the CD I made you, I hope they're all still your favourite songs. I still listen to all your playlist, even though it breaks me. You were my soulmate, I promise I was yours too. I just don't know how to express it. I wish you gave me time to get better. I love you.

you taught me that sometimes people aren’t brought into your life to stay, but instead to teach you something.

you taught me that sometimes people aren’t brought into your life to stay, but instead to teach you something

I knew this was gonna happen, at some point in time. I just didn't think it would be so soon. I got exited for your notification, but when it only came for her I started to give up. I want you. I want to hold you. I want to be with you but what if you don't want to be with me?

i made a mistake writing to you before. i can never tell you how I feel especially now so I just need to forget it. forget you. i know you forgot me. i cant do this anymore get out of my head

you are the first guy i ever loved and you are my reason to live but now that your with her u make everything hurt

i miss the way u missed me. the late night texts. the hang outs. i miss u and i dont know if u were my first love or not but i just feel like we could have talked it out and connected. but u lied and it really stuck with me its been 10 months and every days the same and i miss u even more and think about u non stop. its just why her, the most basic girl out of everyone i just dont get it. i know u liked her from the jump but its just not fair. everyone tells me about how bad u were and toxic but i just miss the old u and the way u were there for me and always checked up on me. i hate how i still miss u and want u back when rn ur out hu with girls. im glad u got ur first kiss, i had a feeling u wanted to have it with me. but that never played out. its stupid to say but i feel like u were the right person wrong time and it really sucks. i hate it a lot actually. and these past months ive been missing u and u dont even have a clue. i just hope one day we come back together and figure out all our differences and just be happy together. and i want u to go back to ur old days, the old times where u were u and u were happy. thats the guy i miss and cherish. i dont and will never miss the new u and i know i wont. u turned into a real shitty person who knows it all and i hate it but its not going to stop me from wanting u and wanting to fix u. to help u go back to being the real u thats who i miss so much. i love u so much is unbearable.

it sucks to think I'll never know if you genuinely appreciate me or not and it sucks because I still think about what could have been

I never thought you'd see these. I don't know why I need to tell you how bad I miss you. I don't need you anymore, though. There's no more void. The shrooms helped me realize that. Either that, or I've grown apathetic. Who cares, I don't need you anymore and that's the moral of the story. I think you deserve good things. I want to know how your life is going. Always. I just don't need *you* anymore. I don't need you actively in my life. How fucking neat is that? I love that. I still love you, but not in a soulmate way. You're not my soulmate. I found him and he's perfect and I'm afraid I won't be enough for him. I think you and her are good, though. She's gorgeous. Did you settle for me, then? Because I'm no where near her caliber. I did see you in a single shirt, though!! Very proud of you for that. Seriously. I'm glad you feel that comfortable with her. I'm a bit jealous of that, but then again, I never took showers with you, but I'm here, wrapped in a towel, as the love of my life brushes his hair. Isn't that so funny? God. Anyway. I love you, my friend. I hope you stay well. I hope she makes you so happy. I hope you fall in love and I get to see you again sometime. Maybe one last hug? I always fit so well in the crook of your shoulder. Goodnight.

the only thing i want atm is u playing guitar to me while givin me ur perfect smile. u are my happiness

idk what i could’ve done better but i never missed someone like u to this day... u were my first love e

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO LOVE YOU BUT I STILL DO. THEY ALL SAY IM TOO AFRAID TO ADMIT MY FEELINGS FOR YOU. THEY ARE RIGHT. I'M SCARED YOU'LL LEAVE AND THAT MIGHT JUST BE THE THING TO PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE.

I wish you would just notice me. Notice how I look at you. Notice how I speak to you. Notice how I get nervous whenever you’re around. Please. Just notice me.

you're always gonna be my soulmate in my head even though deep down I truly know we aren't meant to be together. in fact, we're terrible together. you hurt me in ways I didn't even know were possible. and I hate you for that. i have to draw on my legs with sharpies so my parents don't question what the white lines on my leg are. i know it's not fair to blame you for that but I do. you completely destroyed every part of me. and it's effecting every single fucking thing in my life. i cant believe that I'm loved by someone who loves me more than anything and is willing to give me the whole world. but because of the damage you did, I cant believe anything he's telling me. and I know we only were a fucking thing for a month but you hurt me more than anyone else I've ever been with. i got so attached so fast without you even knowing because I saw our whole future together. i still can. i wanna be with you. it'll always be you. and it shouldn't be. and i know you don't know what you did to me and it truly isn't your fault for me getting attached and getting hurt but why'd you leave me for her? what does she have that i don't? i ask myself that a lot. but i know I'm better, not just saying that, i know i am. so ur stupid for that lolz cause i was willing do to anything for you. but to my first love, i will always love you no matter what.

you mean so much to me but i mean nothing to you:( you will always have a special place in my heart ily:)))

if you knew how many nights i thought about you, or how many times i hyperventilated your name into my hands, i hope that myabe, just maybe, you'd feel something

i really do miss everything we did, the time we snuck out and and just danced and walked around the street without giving a care in the world, our little picnics we had and the time we were in your car and i was crying and you were there to comfort me, i miss dancing in the rain with you. i just miss you. but i still think to this day why i wasn't good enough for you that you decided to cheat on me.

I love you so much and I care and think about you every second but I don’t think I’m good enough for you.

i have a huge crush on you but i can't count a reason. i just do. and you don't even know my name. i wish i have more information about you. i just know your name and your class.. upss and your weight. it doesn't matter tho but anyways. i feel something to you but idk what are they? actually i don't even know AM I IN LOVE WİTH YOU OR AM I İN LOVE WİTH THE BOY THAT I CREATED IN MY FUCKING MIND

i’m so mad. i wish i could tell you all the things inside my head, but honestly i’m not even sure of my own thoughts. why wasn’t i good enough?

I was so obsessed with you, and I even then knew you were trash. Thanks for truly showing me how insensitive you are, you helped me get over you. But please never talk about your exes the way you did that day.
Prick.

you weren't my first love but you changed mentally and physically for the good tho. i wanna thank you

Whenever I find something funny or interesting, you're the first person I want to share it with. It hurts knowing I can't.