Unsent Messages

Loneliness is difficult to accept. I won't lie after I left you, I proceeded to ask myself if I made the right decision to leave. It was so hard for me to let go. I didn't want to. It was the last thing I wanted to do. I wasn't mentally ready to since I loved you. I wanted to stay, but I knew I couldn't, not after what you did. You lied and manipulated me into thinking you were right. All the stories people told me were the truth. There was proof, and when I confronted you about it, you denied it. That's what made me furious. You were a liar. But I refused to accept it because I was so attached too to you. Everyone told me that you weren't the right person for me and that anyone else could give me the affection you gave me, but they're wrong. You made me feel as if I was able to breathe. As if I've been underwater for a long time and then coming up to take a big breath of air. I was so hurt. The amount of pain I was in is indefinable. Why did you lie to me? Was I not good enough for you? I told you to leave if you weren't going to be committed to me. I told you I was hurt and that I was scared. I begged you not to use me if you were bored. Yet you still did. And every day, I ask why.