Unsent messages to K

Maybe i did find a lookalike bc i cant have you

do you know i’ve had the biggest crush on you??

We could’ve thrived together

i love you

maybe it will work out later but you hurt me sm

pay up. ur in my head rent free

love wasn’t enough for you to choose me as i am

It’s Still you

sometimes i still think about you

love u

im proud of u :)

Pls tell me you are sorry for the way I hurt

I'm still waiting, love.
I'm still here.
I know you can apologise to me eventually, take your time. In the end I'll always be the one to care no matter how many times you continue to hurt me. love, H

i miss when we facetimed and laughed at each other’s jokes, your my favorite person why can’t you see that?

Like an imposter you came into my life, proposing to make every right. If only I could see you was the one who needed me.

I almost sent you a meme that reminded me of you, but then I remembered that we haven’t talked in 3 years. IMiss u

You could have been the one we could have made it I just felt like I always had to be the strong one and it wasn’t fair

hi, it’s me again. i often wonder why the human brain works the way it does; in the end, you did nothing but hurt me, yet so many things still remind me of you; positives, negatives-i get reminded of it all. was i that co-dependent that my brain still can’t let go? even after 5 months? i don’t know, but i want it to stop. i want to erase you from my memory entirely; but i cant.

i'm sorry my pride ruined everything. i'll always think that our love story would've been beautiful. i hope she makes you happy, i'm happy for you.

I love you with my entire heart and I don’t know how to tell you because I’m afraid you’ll think it’s a joke

You say that you love me, but is it really what you mean or do you tell me that just because that's what people do when they're in a relationship???

the fact that you probably care about me is not the fact, what I wanna know is, what you think about me as a person and what you really think of me? Am I a girl who just makes you happy just because you feek lonely? Just because you want the status of 'having a girlfriend' in front of the boys? Like what is the point of the relationship? What is your motive of loving me, why am I the one that you want to be with, like i don't understand..

Am I too dramatic or is it acceptable that I feel what I feel? Should I talk about it or not, like it's completly fucking with my head and idk what to do.

I’m terrified by how much comfort the thought of you brings me i don’t know how i’m ever to tell you how i truly feel

thats what i've been saying to youuu, when was the last time you were single for more than a few weeks? imo, you should take some time to heal from everything you've dealt w during the past year, but it's obviously up to you. w the sc thing, im not sure, i still need some time to move on. talking on here just feels different, i feel like i'm still getting the distance i need - without having to miss you.

pros and cons list? you know i'm not very good w things like this either. i also never wanted this to be a him or me situation, you haven't lost me and you're never going to. i still need to distance myself though because he is clearly not okay with you talking to me, i really don't want him to start treating you like shit because of it. so if you two get back together, i will step back and stop reaching out to you, but this definitely doesn't mean you've lost me - i'm always gonna be here. Just maybe don't message me on ig, cause he's clearly not okay with that.

i know my opinion means completely nothing, but i think you should try things out w his mate? from what i've heard, you get along really well, might be worth a try?

I know things are really rough and I’m sorry for never being able to help and only making things worse. I’m sorry I’m so annoying and that I only talk about myself and constantly vent to you....but lately I felt like things haven’t been the same and it really gets to me so......I think we should stop talking to each other. I’m sorry

trust me, you've gone through sm in the past year - please put yourself first. i already know what the answers gonna be but have you forgiven him?

you didn't do anything wrong. i was immature and didn't know how to act in a relationship, n every time you'd tell me how horrible i was being - i'd act out against you n get really mad. the fact that you forgave me so many times is crazy, i didn't deserve you.

i was the exact same, i promised i'd change every time but i didn't realise my faults until a few months ago. we were both toxic, but only because we were hurting and we took it out on each other. be angry at me or anyone else, just don't be angry at yourself. he's not going to change until you've both moved on. sadly thats just how it works.

i don't love bad people. me, the person who loses feelings after a week, never cries over anyone and never gets heartbroken (that wasn't your fault tho) - fell in love with you. i was immature, hurting and had so many issues - you were the one to change me for the better. bad people can't do that. you've got a good heart, you're the only one who can't see it.

why did you leave when you said you would never? Was it all a lie? Were you just bored? Was I nothing to you, because you were everything to me.

you're the only person i've been w that my family knows about - they can tell how i feel just by me mentioning your name. also, can't believe we couldn't go less than a day.

yk how C said to me the other day that it was partially my fault? that's what shes doing to you. she's had these problems for years, before what she did. she never had a reason before, it was just how she felt - which made her feel hopeless. but after forcing you to talk about everything, she now has someone to blame - other than herself. you did not do this to her. she has full control over what she chooses to do. you never even acted out against her, as much as she deserves it. so who the fuck does she think she is, making the most forgiving and kind person blame themselves?

you're way too forgiving. obviously it worked out well for me, but every time you allow someone toxic back into your life - you're just hurting yourself. but i think you already know that. im looking forward to the day where you put yourself first, cause out of everyone i know - you're the person who deserves to be the most happy. does that make sense? i'm sorry if it doesn't, you know i'm not good with words.

i know i wanted to break contact but today has been so fucking hard. i'm so sorry - coming from someone who made that mistake too many times, he doesn't deserve you. he promised he'd be different to the others, n he promised to protect you - he's not worth it. you're a really forgiving person so i won't be surprised if you give him another chance, but you just need to think - how many chances can you give to someone that won't change?

i actually thought i loved you but now i realise i was young and naive, we wanted different things and that's okay, i wish you well :)

When you left you took my love with you now I can’t love anyone like I loves you. You were my first love my soulmate everything I ever wanted but you didn’t want me I hope we meet again and in a another life we’re happy together. I still love you even tho you put me in so much pain and made me lose myself. Now without you everydays the same and i wanna thank you for teaching me how to love and I found myself but I realize you were bad for me and I hope you feel the heartbreak I felt and every shitty emotion and every shitty day that came with it but that’s the problem. I still love you.

Hi baby... I know iv'e given you plenty of reasons to be insecure, iv'e dissapointed you, hurt you, left you countless times... I don't even understand why i did what i did. Maybe im scared, you just seem to perfect and it kinda scares me, but im done running. It's you, it's always been you, nobody quite get me like you, nobody makes me feel like you, its like a constant rush when i talk to you, my head spins just thinking about you. I know it doesn't make a difference telling you this, I know I have to prove it, words aint action. I'm done bullshitting, I promise you I will never run away again, you told me the other day that sometimes I forgot how understanding you are, and I do forget that. I promise I will always talk to you, tell you things straight up. I'd rather hurt you for a minute than lose you again. You are the most beautifull, smartest, funniest, loving, caring, honest, energetic, down to earth person iv'e ever met, and shit you are better than me in pretty much any fucking game, what more could a guy wish for. I'm gonna have to stop myself here. I will always love you, your on my mind always.

i hate you. i was, and still am, in love with you. i try not to think about you but i cant stop. you made me laugh,smile, all of the above. i wish i could tell you that i still like you even tho you rejected me the first you pussy. i hope you understand. i fucking hate you, but i love you.

for some reason every-time i talk to you, i get butterflies. it’s been almost 2 years and i still haven’t gotten over you.

i know i shouldn't say it but it might be my last chance. you don't even need to say it back, it's just that i really need you to understand.

i love you, as a friend and as the person who cares about you way too much, okay?

i hate even saying these words but the last sentence basically broke me. you're the only person thats ever made me cry so hard, i couldn't breathe. stop saying you should have realised how special i was. i'm the one that was desperately in love with you, but still broke up with you. i was the one who broke my heart, not you. all i've been for the past year, is ex who could never let you go. i don't want to be that person anymore, for your sake and mine - i can't remember the last time i spent a full hour without thinking about you, every time i message you - i feel like im literally ruining your life. even tho c has every right to hate me, i'm always gonna believe you deserve the best of the best - that's why we didn't work out. so please just promise me this, you will always remember that you deserve someone who respects you, loves you (and knows how to show it) as well as someone who will always appreciate every second they spend with you. i don't say this stuff because of how i feel, (despite what everyone thinks), i say it because you gave me a booklet full of 100 reasons and i never appreciated that enough. so please don't stop until you find someone that gives you a booklet with 1000. i really fucking wish i did.

I had you so many times but I never admitted it, you were actually the only person I liked..you were on all my goals..but until I lost you I realized...that I did love you and now you are happy with someone else.. :)

i think these messages should be the last time we speak for a while. not talking to you for these past few hours has made me so anxious - the longest you've been out of my life is probably like 2 weeks - i need to get this under control. just give me a month or two. not even in a romantic way but ive been addicted to you n its literally fucking ruined me. it will be better for both of us if i just give you some space - you can live your life and i can attempt to find mine. this is the cringiest thing i've ever written but i just need you to know that i hate being angry at you. if it came down to us being estranged or me getting in the way of your life, i'd always choose the first. starting from midnight, lets just forget about each other for a while. or forever if you want.

I know i broke up with you because i was lost at the time. but you were my person like fr we were so good for each other and yeah i may be over you now and you may be in love with someone else but i miss the bond we had. you were my best friend and now i’m just blocked.

i just don't understand. you know everything ive been saying to you is true. i'm not trying to 'win you back' - i'm just trying to get you out of the same cycle you've been through before. why didn't you stand up for me earlier? i can't do this anymore, i can't sit here and watch you be naive - forgiving him is not just hurting you, it's hurting me too.

Both of our favorite colors are blue. A year later and I'm still crying every night wondering where I went wrong. You left with no explanation and left me for another girl. I miss a year ago. I hope you're doing good.

Por qué... Por qué tuviste que hacerme esto sabiendo la conexión que teníamos... Tratarnos como amigos? Sabiendo que uno por el otro muere... Me duele mucho ver cómo tratas de ocultar el dolor por qué se que sufres fingiendo que no y que no me nesecitabas cuando los dos sabíamos lo mucho que me quería y si puede que haya Sido culpa de los dos terminar... Pero todo eso lo perdónare y me perdono a mi y pues te esperaré pero no sin hacer nada... Te amo lo sabes... Te amo tanto que no habría aprendido tanto gracias a ti... Enserio te amo y te extraño mucho