Unsent messages to K

i rarely ever see you anymore and we don't speak anymore.
BUT
i am still so fucking in love with you.

When I said 'I love you' I really did mean it, but it was a little bit easier to pretend you didn't exist when I knew, you didn't want me with the same burning passion.

i hate the person i allowed myself to become when i was with you and i resent you for the shit you put me through, but it allowed me grow and i might not be the same person today without having had you in my life. i’m learning to be content with the past and sincerely hope we never cross paths again.

Siento que a ti es al que le debo más explicaciones, tú de verdad necesitabas saber muchas cosas que no tuve la oportunidad de decirlo por varias circunstancias pero ahora te lo digo por una carta que ni siquiera te llegará así que así es la vida pero bueno té quiero decir que nunca te ame esas cosas que dije realmente nunca las sentí algunas veces me sentía muy forzada de decirlo porque era algo que tú querías escuchar y fue mi error igual decirlo, eres una persona con un gran corazón el cual merecía algo mejor intenté serlo para ti pero nunca pude, varias veces te vi llorar y dolía verte así pero al final comprendí que era lo mejor porque no era lo que esperabas y lo siento pero yo intentaba convencerme de amarte o por lo menos quererte pero eso no fue posible

This is the color of your walls we started painting together, & the comforter you gave me. I really thought you were the one. I loved you with everything I had. At least I thought. Now I don’t think I ever loved you at all.

i miss u all the time. when i pass your street or hear a song that reminds me of you. it literally hurts

it’s getting bad again. you was always here to help me. knew the right thing to say but now you’re gone. how do i cope

I hope you stay forever , ur growing on me and no matter what I can't stop myself from being effected by u and liking u . I hope it's not a game for some fuck boy satisfaction and if it is , well played it work . Tho I have my doubts they shortly go and whether that's good or not well soon find out . Things are going well and growing better daily , and I'm very very happy atm, so for that I thank u n hope it doesn't go to shits lol X

you say you'll stop for me and the scary thing is, i don't believe you. and i have every right not to.

i needed to know the difference of being inlove with you and having love for you because you were my first love

you're on my mind and in my heart again. I wonder if I'd be strong enough to walk away if you came back. N

I have a crush on you and i know you like me back but i’m sorry i can’t do this to my best friend. You hurt her sm

Thanks for coming into my life and teaching me the hard lessons I needed to learn. You leaving the way you did forced me to learn to love myself before loving others. I learned how to become more independent and comfortable with myself. I'm so happy I'm no longer with you but thankful for the lessons I learned while trying to love u.

I don’t think we knew that we weren’t in love though we thought we were. And I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re happy now.

there’s so many things i wish i said to you. i wish i told you how you smell like cigarette smoke on a warm night. deathly but intriguing. i miss you, but i’m over you.

Maybe for you shouting everything you hated about me fixed all your problems, but that only worsen mines

i miss when the first day we hung out. you made me walk in the rain.. i always think about how beautiful you looked in that moment.

not typing your full name because i’m still afraid, but i often wonder if you ever even feel bad about what you did to me.

You were the only guy I’ve ever been comfortable with 100% and you took advantage of that I hate you. Yet I still love you :/

I dont miss you anymore, ever since you walked out I have realised I'm worth more than how you treated me.

Thank you for all of the amazing memories. I will never forget the way you would look at me with those beautiful eyes. I will forever remember how you saved me from my darkest moments and reassured me everyday. I will always think about you were the best thing to happen to me. I will never be able to forget the memories and I will always remember you my sweet boy❤️

I just don’t think you’d have let me go as easily as you did if you truly liked me, and it hurts to be left with that.

you see, I knew the consequences would be bad but I still did it. they say the boldest form of courage is surrender.

I act like I don’t care but I’ll always remember how I felt getting my forehead kissed by you watching a movie on our first date

Ojalá no hubiéramos sido tan inmaduros para desconfiar del otro por motivos estúpidos pero debemos aceptar que nunca me quisiste lo suficiente para hacer las cosas bien.

you broke me so many times, and I had to fight myself to stay with you. i am not in love with you but I love you. and i need you to understand the amount of pain you put me through. i want to say it was worth it, but in reality it wasn't, because i constantly break myself thinking of what we were. but i don't want it or you back.

I hope your happy. I think I'm happy but then on the off occasion I think of you and I'm not sure. u broke me and I can never get over that

i am terrified of getting too close, of letting you in, of inevitably hurting you. i wish you nothing but happiness, just i know it can't be with me

its been 2 years but it still hurts me to see you with someone else. she's everything that i'm not. I wish I told you i still loved you when i had the chance

i still belive that we are going to find each other again. not now, not tomorrow, but someday. i know its meant to be. always.

hey, scooby here. haven’t said something to you in awhile. i looked at some messages addressed to me here and i wondered if you might have said them. i doubt it but i guess there’s a chance. i don’t think you’d find these messages because i doubt you remember my “nickname” but i remember. i still get called it. anyway, my year ago memories of us are coming back up. i just got the one from after i was grounded. i loved that day. the drunk text came right before that. should i think into your drunk text? or was it just that you saw my post at the wrong time, and there’s nothing to think into? also why’d you unfollow me? was it because i answered? was it because of her? or was it a respect thing? i wish i could get an answer.. i chose purple because you used purple for everything..

i loved you. i really loved you. i think you were my first love and now i can get over you. i hate that i have to see you on campus. you made me feel like i had a forever friend and then you stopped putting in effort after we tried it again. everything reminds me of you but there are days that i don't think about you and i'm grateful for those days. i hope you're happy with her. enjoy the time we had bec even though they were good memories, i don't think i'll ever want to look back at them again bec it hurts to much. i'll love you forever?

I should have realised from the beginning that it wasn’t going to work, but I’d already fallen deeply for you.

You made me think it was always my fault but somehow I was always the bad guy. The worst part is that I started to believe you too.

hey bud,
wanna know something funny. it’s been three years, you were meant to be a stupid 7th grade crush. but i’m here so it obviously wasn’t stupid

i hate you , but u hold a very special place in my life & i want to let u go but u mean a lot to me i just don’t know how to tell u.

last night. the last time i cried over you. did you know that. the dry ass pictures you send me or the pictures of your little dick because u want something from me. that’s why i cried. it hurts me that the only time you send me something is to either to just reply because your bored or to reply because your horny. what the fuck do you want from me. do you even know my favorite fucking color. WHY DO I STILL LIKE YOU.

I love you so much. When I think of my future husband I think of you. I hope you find your way back to me

I want to spend every day talking to you about us. You give me butterflies even when I'm not around you. Even though I feel this way, I don't think our relationship will be anything more than friends. I don't know how you feel about me, but I don't know how I feel about you. If only we weren't scared to ruin the friendship...

i never told you how i feel and i never will because i know that you never like me back. i am now dating someone and i pretend im over you but in reality i always think about what could happen and how my life would be if we started dating. people call me crazy because i still love you the same as when i first saw you and that i still can’t get over you. i even forgot your face, the way you smell and everything and still unable to get over you. i dont know why i dont know how. i just want to forget you because its ruining me slowly. and lastly, i hate you for all the pain you made me go through

i know you never felt the same as me but i still hope that maybe one day you would confess all of the feelings you have for me.

i still haven’t quite figured out why u didn’t fight harder to keep me as your best friend you meant the world to me and i would’ve done anything for you..now we’re just strangers with so many memories together and it hurts so bad

I know that you’re hurting, I just wish you’d tell me so that we didn’t have to keep pretending that you’re ok.

Normally i just turn off my feelings & forget without lookin back. With u i don't want to eventhough ik it would be for the best.

I will always love you. I may not be anything more than a body now, but there’ll always be something between us. ?

you used me, no matter how much you said you truly cared about me in the past when you left it showed that you didn't. that I think hurt the most, also seeing you turn into a completely different person. I trusted you with everything for you just to leave like everyone else did. I always told you that I never felt like enough because of how people in the past treated me but you did the same thing. and it hurt a lot when it seemed like it didn't affect you at all. when I was sobbing to you and you just didn't care how you made me feel like the bad one when you were the one hurting me all along. ill always love you, not in love anymore but I care and love you so much and that'll never change. because considering all the bad you treated me better than you did any and idk if that was part of the trick or if you truly did think that I was different yk... you made me feel special you gave me a purpose to get up everyday and not give up. but now that ur gone I tried to find ur love in other places and just ended up hurting more but just denying it. I keep acting like I'm ok that it didn't effect me that I don't need you but I rly do. I wanna be held in your arms. in caring loving arms and I rly need it rn. you won't believe how much has changed since you left haha. they all leave I didn't know why it would be any different with you lmfao. I'm sorry but I have to let you go once and for now on. everything. the pictures, videos, family, the old me, the old you... cause you aren't you anymore. Goodbye Kenneth.

There will always be some part of me that will always love you. no matter how long ago we dated, broke up, last spoke. i will forever miss you. this isnt me asking for you back. this is me telling you, you were my first love. the stars aligned one magical night and made us love each other. but this is my time to tell you please find someone who makes you happier than i ever did, someone who will look at you like youre the first boy theyve ever seen in the world, like the world has disappeared and youre the only one around. and make her happy as well. please. this is my time to leave. i will always wish you the best. youre an amazing person, theres not a day i dont think about you. i love you. goodbye.

i hated you for what you did, but i don't anymore. thanks for teaching me my worth, and i'm glad we're still able to talk as friends .

idk how i’ll live with you gone. i know you never felt the same but i’ve loved you for so long that i forget how to breathe without you.

I was afraid that u would go to study abroad and leave me here thinking 'what memories we could have if he was here?'. Now -5 months later- u didn't leave but I lost u anyways