Unsent messages to B

im sorry. i didn't know what i wanted and i promise i didn't want to hurt you trying to figure it out

i loved the way i felt with you, just the way you looked at me made me feel safe. we spent so much time apart and now idk if it’s fait or whatever else it’s called that we started talking more but i hope it is. because i miss you. i can see you in my future and i really hope that’s not just a dream and that it becomes reality

i loved the way i felt with you, just the way you looked at me made me feel safe. we spent so much time apart and now idk if it’s fait or whatever else it’s called that we started talking more but i hope it is. because i miss you. i can see you in my future and i really hope that’s not just a dream and that it becomes reality

i loved the way i felt with you, just the way you looked at me made me feel safe. we spent so much time apart and now idk if it’s fait or whatever else it’s called that we started talking more but i hope it is. because i miss you. i can see you in my future and i really hope that’s not just a dream and that it becomes reality

Used and unlovable. That’s how you made me feel, but you were the only person who I thought was better.

You are the only person to this day I have hurt romantically. I am so sorry I hurt you because I was afraid of what people would say if I admitted that I loved you.

You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am so in love with you but I can’t tell you yet.

i cared for you, i built your confidence, you fucked up my sleep pattern, you held me, gave me your coat, called me beautiful, told you things i've never even said out loud...all for you to leave me and choose her

What hurt most was that I didn’t tell you I was falling for you, not that you fell for my best friend.

What hurt most was that I didn’t tell you I was falling for you, not that you fell for my best friend

It was never love. You manipulated me into thinking it was though. I guess that’s what I get for having a kind soul. You fucking suck.

i miss you alot, i miss what we had. everything i do just reminds me of you. please give us another chance.

When you used to block me for “until tomorrow”, I’d make myself go to sleep super early so the next day would come quicker and I could talk to you again

we were never anything. i barely know you. we spoke for a few months but you actually made me happy and that’s never happened before. ik i hurt u but u actually meant something to me. xx

you don’t even realise how much it hurt when you slowly starting drifting away from me. but it hurt even more knowing you didn’t care

maybe one day you’ll look at me the same way i look at you :,) - e

i chose orange because it’s your fav colour hehe

I think I was a means to an end for you. I miss you everyday still and next month it’ll be two years since you passed. Why’d you have to go bailey? I really should’ve asked you to stay harder. I didn’t know once you left that would be the final time. I miss your sweaters and your lips. I can’t find your eye shade anywhere and your face shining in the sun is ingrained into my memory forever. I hope wherever you’re resting is comfortable. Hopefully one day I’ll see you soon.

I know u hurt me, u broke my heart. you said one day we will try again yet we don’t speak. how are we just gonna pick up where we left off? the last half a year have been amazing and i just can’t let go of it. i can’t give up hope yet i think maybe it’s time i should. i just need a sign from you that your still worth it. i loved u the day we started hanging out and i will always love u. i just want you to come back to me. this is so hard with out you. i hope it’s the same

I know u hurt me, u broke my heart. you said one day we will try again yet we don’t speak. how are we just gonna pick up where we left off? the last half a year have been amazing and i just can’t let go of it. i can’t give up hope yet i think maybe it’s time i should. i just need a sign from you that your still worth it. i loved u the day we started hanging out and i will always love u. i just want you to come back to me. this is so hard with out you. i hope it’s the same

it’s been 10 months, we live 2000 miles apart, and i still think about what i’d say if i ran into you.

B you made me feel like I was replaceable, you made me feel as if I wasn't good enough. Feel as if I didn't deserve love, and I still feel that way. You hurt me in the one way you promised you wouldn't hurt me. I told you that everyone else in my life has left and you promised me that you wouldn't leave but you did. You left me there at 1 in the morning broken. You left me there thinking something was wrong with me and left me thinking that I did something wrong. You don't know how much you broke me that day, not only was I losing my boyfriend, I was losing my best friend at the same time. I loved you and you ghosted me, you ghosted me for the majority of our relationship and I still loved you. You know how stupid that is. You said that you still loved me and that was a huge lie, you loved the thought of me, you loved the thought of me always being there to pick you up when you fell down, but you were never there for me when I was down. I almost left this earth and you didn't even notice, you never asked me if I was okay or asked if I was doing okay but I guess that's what happens when you date a self-centered prick. The only thing I have to say to you is FUCK YOU!

thank you for rescuing me, even though you never knew how much trouble i was in. i’ll always love you.

I told you how I felt about you and now you're acting differently.
Now I regret telling you because I miss you more than ever.

The most bittersweet thing that ever happened to me was getting to fall in love with my best friend because whilst I was madly in love with you, I had to watch you love another person and pretend like I didn’t care...

i heard rock+roll the other day and started crying. i was in love with you. i AM in love with you. i miss u.

wish you the best, i know that youre stressed out. but yk in small towns, what goes around comes back around.

I dont sleep at night. ur 900 miles away and your body is killing you. I want to be there with you until you can't be here with me.

i wish i could have captured the happiness you made me feel like a painting, or a photo. i could look at it and remember. maybe feel it again one last time. you didn’t see me as me you saw me as a body. Not a beautiful body. Just a body. An object you didn’t love me. Your eyes didn’t light up the way mine did when you saw me I was too blind to see it then but I have finally opened my eyes i now realize it more and more everyday. Why couldn’t I have seen it then. Why was I so blind. I could have saved myself from this hurt. This fatal love that I felt for you. It was so toxic and degrading because all I wanted in this world was you. Why couldn’t you have given me that satisfaction. I crave everything about you so deeply rregardless of how toxic you are, even if you did only want to use me. I remember the beginning it was so pure and innocent we were in love we connected . Your eyes sparkled when I looked into them. That sparkle disappeared, maybe the whole time I was just mistaking the glare from the sun to be it. But I felt like I had it all with you. But I know I didn’t I cried nightly wondering why I could never be enough for you. As hard as it is I have come to realize it is not me who is not enough. Because no matter what I looked like, dressed like, and acted like. It would still never be enough for you. No one will ever be. You are not ready for love. You do not deserve my love or anyone else’s. You don’t want a partner for life. You fake the passion for the sex that comes with the romance. I thought you were different from the beginning. But you see we are all deceived in the end.

- This is goodbye, Until we meet again my love.

i wish i could have captured the happiness you made me feel like a painting, or a photo. i could look at it and remember. maybe feel it again one last time. you didn’t see me as me you saw me as a body. Not a beautiful body. Just a body. An object you didn’t love me. Your eyes didn’t light up the way mine did when you saw me I was too blind to see it then but I have finally opened my eyes i now realize it more and more everyday. Why couldn’t I have seen it then. Why was I so blind. I could have saved myself from this hurt. This fatal love that I felt for you. It was so toxic and degrading because all I wanted in this world was you. Why couldn’t you have given me that satisfaction. I crave everything about you so deeply rregardless of how toxic you are, even if you did only want to use me. I remember the beginning it was so pure and innocent we were in love we connected . Your eyes sparkled when I looked into them. That sparkle disappeared, maybe the whole time I was just mistaking the glare from the sun to be it. But I felt like I had it all with you. But I know I didn’t I cried nightly wondering why I could never be enough for you. As hard as it is I have come to realize it is not me who is not enough. Because no matter what I looked like, dressed like, and acted like. It would still never be enough for you. No one will ever be. You are not ready for love. You do not deserve my love or anyone else’s. You don’t want a partner for life. You fake the passion for the sex that comes with the romance. I thought you were different from the beginning. But you see we are all deceived in the end.
- This is goodbye, Until we meet again in another life.
Forever and Always

It took me a year to figure out you still loved her. I’m sorry I let myself believe I could replace her, I broke my own heart.

in one night, you went from being my perfect dream come true to a toxic nightmare i can never trust anymore.

You broke me, and that wasn’t enough for you was it? You left me for dead, earned my trust and ruined it. The worst thing is I fell for your act. Every. Single. Time.

I was so dumb for thinking you liked me too. Welp i was wrong, you liked my best friend apparently. And now yall dating lol. I kinda still like you and im still hurt but i cant say anything about it.

you’ve taught me that love isnt just one person. love is in the way you squeeze my hand but love is also in the way my mom smiles, the way rain drops on my skin, the way people smile at each other on the street and so much more.

im sorry i did a shitty job at trying to capture the intensity and vastness of my love in just one letter. you deserve way more. i love you b.

your hands on the table, movements seems fatal when wine is poured so carefully. the choir sings hymns as my world spins. our eyes lock, oh so bittersweet.

Me gustabas mucho, realmente me gustabas, al punto en que olvidé como era ser amado y solo me fije en amarte. En tus ojos veía lo triste que estabas y a pesar que yo estaba hundida en la mierda lo primero que quería hacer era sanar todas tus heridas quitar esa pena que reflejaban tus hermosos y profundos ojos. Mi querido B gracias por estar en los peores momentos, hiciste que el dolor que llevo doliera menos, a pesar de que ya no se nada de ti ahora te agradezco por ser un efímero rayo de luz que paso por mi vida, no me arrepiento de a verte conocido de sonreírte cuando solo quería llorar porque sabía que tu lo harías igual. Gracias por enseñarme a valorarme, por mostrarme que nadie podría sanar todas tus heridas porque solo tu debías hacerlo, gracias por mostrarme que me querías a tu manera pero lo hacías, espero que hayas podido cura tu triste, que cuando vuelva a ver tus ojos ya no se refleje triste que ella te esté haciendo muy feliz y tu a ella.
Gracias por ser mi efímero rayo de luz, mi esperanza, mi estrella fugaz que solo fue un pequeño y dulce deseo, siempre recordaré cuanta alegría sentí a tu lado, de verdad hiciste que este dolor que llevo doliera menos ahora que no estas ha vuelto a doler quizás aun más pero por un momento sentí lo que era el amor y la felicidad todo gracias a ti mi querido rayo de luz, te recordaré como la estrella fugaz más preciosa que paso por mi cielo.

Ya tiene que no hablamos y así está bien, lamento que no hubiese sido lo que esperábamos, me dolió que ya no quisieras nada conmigo y que te fueras alejando cuando yo más te quería, enserio no se si lo notaste alguna vez que trate con todo lo que pudo que todo funcionara, más no recibi lo mismo de tu parte , realmente creo que si me enamore de ti, ya que me gustaba el simplemente hecho de que fueras tu, tu forma de ser, tus gustos, tu carácter tranquilo y amable, y tu brillante sonrisa, y muchas cosas más, me encantó conocer a tu familia y sentirme parte, no había nada que me desagrada de ti, hasta tus defectos me agradaban y tu también habías dicho lo mismo y que yo había sido lo mejor que te había pasado y al poco tiempo me dejaste, fuiste un mentiroso que no sabía lo que quería, sabes lo que más me decepciono fue que supe realmente quien eras y tus intenciones conmigo. Me dolió y ya no me sentía bien ahí más que nada por amor a mi misma y creo que tu lo notaste, en fin decidiste no luchar y preferiste irte y yo también porque ya no aguantaba el estrés de dar todo y aunque al principio soñaba con que regresarás conmigo entre más paso el tiempo pensé mejor las cosas, no puedo cambiar a las personas y también que tu no vales tanto la pena para tampoco me merezco conformarme con poco. Me enamoré del los que imaginaba que podíamos ser más no de la realidad. Así que tal vez nunca te diga todo esto ya que realmente ya no quiero que volvamos y a pesar de que alguna vez quise todo contigo, entiendo que esto se acabo, y que tenías razón cuando ya no veías más en la relación, en mi caso ya no veo más en ti, espero que encuentras la persona que no te haga dudar y la respetes y quieras todo con ella y no solo tenerla ahí para que no sientas solo, que te enamores de verdad, como deseo que alguien llegue así a mi vida, me enseñaste una valiosa lección que yo merezco el universo entero y dejar de conformarme. Espero de todo corazón que quedes en la universidad y te vaya súper bien de ahora en adelante.
Hasta nunca.
D

Even though there is someone new, the thought of what you and I could have been is always in the back of my mind

Even though there is someone new, the thought of what you and I could have been is always in the back of my mind.

I just saw you today at our spot. My heart was racing. I was. gonna say something but I ran instead. I never regretted something more.

There is still so much i want to say, that one letter just isnt enough. I hope you stay long enough for me to find all the right words and the right pen and piece of paper.

i still carry the empty box of chocolates and the feeling of you squeezing my hand in the backseat as tears roll down my face with me.

sorry you didn't like my gift, i never meant for you to hate it. i just wished you didn't constantly remind me why.

If someone told me 7 years ago this is where we would be and this is who you would be, I would have laughed at them. I will always be sad about the way things turned out.

I will never stop caring for you. I miss your goofy comments and the way you would always hug me. Sometimes all I wanna do is talk to you and play with your hair one more time

yo haría todo por ti.....pero tu lo harías por alguien más :/,me sueles ilusionar cuando tienes tiempo de quererme...lo que claro...no es muy seguido pero por ti no me importaría.bb

There’s too much history in our relationship to turn this good and I think I’ll always feel sad about that

You inspired me to live again, you taught me that I mattered but you will never love me back, isn’t that a bit too cruel

in kindergarten i loved your eyes. i bet i still would. you have a lovely smile and you were kind. i don’t know if you are now.