Unsent messages to B

i hope you see this but i hope you dont, i fell in love with you unintensionally, i fell in love with your smile and your mind, your eyes and your laugh and evrything about you, we havent truly known eachother for that long but i have really fallen for you, i want you to know that i love you intrinsically, forever, and i still hope that you one day will.
also you got this, youre gonna get through this, im not leaving you ever, unless you want me to, and i am forever here for you, we're gonna live, okay?

im beginning to think that maybe you look at me how i look at me now, i knew it was coming anyway but i just still don't know how to stop it

Howdy,

Here is a list of thoughts that run through my head when I think of you.
-Are we still best friends? Or am i just some boy that you used to have a crush on...
-maybe I am just crafting up nonsense drama for no reason because I am displeased or bored with my life in its current state.
- sometimes i wonder if i should ask you about it or talk to you about it but then i know you already have too much on your plate as it is and dont need any more drama in your life.
- i miss how things used to be but maybe that was just me expecting too much
- maybe i have no idea what im talking about anyway
-were you telling the truth when you said you never wrote an unsent letter?
- maybe ill write an unsent and that will make me feel a little better

I wish that you didn’t make it feel like everything was my fault, and that you would have told me when you first stopped loving me.

really miss you man. you was making me feel special everyday and also so sad. i wanna get back to those times for one day.

I love you. I tell you all the time but I really do. You are my forever and I hope you feel the same way...

I hate you because I'm staring to fall I hate because I care I hate because I want us I hate you at the fact that I could lose you any time.

the fact that you didn't care enough about me to even check up on me during the relationship speaks volume but the fact that you're asking my friends if i'm okay and that you're worried and concerned about me is wrong. You don't get to suddenly change and care about me when you put me through hell with your character i loved and hated so much. You don't get to keep me hoping and thinking that you could possibly change and we could end up back together in a different world

When I told you I liked you you didn't like me back. I figured our friendship is something I don't want to lose I can't risk losing that but still looking back. We would've been great:(

B:
No es la primera vez que he intentado hacer esto, desde el 2019 estoy tratando de olvidarme de ti y dejar de complacerte en absolutamente todo.
Aunque es un 99% que no leas esto, es mi forma de decirte adios y desearte, a pesar de todo el daño que me has hecho, mucha buena suerte en tu vida.
Sinceramente nunca imagine llegar a estos extremos contigo, y mientras escribo esto se me vienen recuerdos ENORMES a la mente, y muchas preguntas tmb, como una que nunca te voy a preguntar, ¿PORQUE? porque tuvimos que terminar asi? eramos la "pareja ideal", todo el mundo ya sabia que eramos tu y yo, y que a pesar de nuestras infinitas peleas siempre terminabamos juntos.
Este año me ha enseñado muchas cosas, y una de ellas es que no todo dura para siempre, desde un matrimonio hasta una relacion de amigos.

B, siempre te quise y te voy a seguir queriendo hasta el ultimo dia de mi vida, me enseñaste casi todo y siempre seras mi primera vez en todo.
Contigo aprendi que es real la frase "no puedes confiar en nadie", y sigo sin entender como vida ha cambiado en un año y seis meses.
Quiero que sepas que siempre te considere mi mejor amigo y aunque se perfectamente que nunca solo fuimos "amigos", sabes que siempre voy a estar ahi para ti.
Desde que paso lo de lcdp, me di cuenta que estaba perdidamente enamorada de ti y no podia entender como a pesar de haber llorado casi una semana TE HAYA PERDONADO y romper una regla con mi M, la cual era no volverte a hablar mas, para que veas que desafie a todo el mundo por ti, porque siempre superabamos todo.

Me dolio dms el hecho que haya olvidado todos los problemas y aun asi te haya apoyado en lo mas importante para ti, siempre estuve ahi pero luego me di cuenta que ya no era solo yo, sino mas e incluso una de las chicas a la que sabias que nunca iba a congeniar.
No estoy muy segura de esto, pero si alguna vez te guste, creeme que si tu dabas el primer paso, yo lo seguia sin importar nada, pero creo que uno de los mayores problemas que ambos tuvimos fue el orgullo, pero de alguna forma lo agardezco tmb.
Solo quiero decirte una vez mas que esta la ultima vez que te pienso como la persona que me gustabas, me parecio necesario decirlo y escribirlo, disculpame si nunca fui lo que tu quisiste, pero siempre trate de serlo, espero que seamos amigos pero no como antes.
Te quiero como no tienes idea, y solo puedo decirte que gracias por enseñarme lo que es golpearse y salir adelante sola.
Te perdono asi ni lo hayas pedido o ni te lo merezcas, es hora de pensar en mi, y solo en mi, por un momento quiero ser realmente feliz, creo que esto es todo lo que te tenia que decir, que te vaya bien y nada, cierro este capitulo de mi vida dandote el ultimo adios, quiero que sepas que no voy a tomar ninguna "venganza" como lo planeaba hacer antes, no vale la pena y es mejor dejar las cosas asi.
Te quiero un monton y espero que cumplas todo lo que te propongas, y gracias otra vez por enseñarme lo poco que es la vida.

xoxo :)

i'm crying so much because of you and you? You just played a game and now dont care about me. And when i'm slowly getting over you, you text me again and make me hopes and in the end I'm left on read AGAIN and very sad.

I never thought I could miss a person so much and for that long.
I know we never dated but you made me feel special. But you make a lot of girl feel special, not only me and i found out about it way too late;).
Even though you only played I still answer your texts(when you text me once again but left me on read in the end). I think that I'll never forget you and will always answer your texts even though I know how stupid I am.

I try to tell myself that I’m not in love with you anymore but sometimes actions speak louder than words. I think I’ll always be hopelessly and tragically in love with you and I hope you realise that.

I see you everywhere. I feel you everywhere. You're every thought I have. I wonder, do I ever cross your mind or heart at all? I still love you. I wish you still loved me.

i think i like you but i will never know if it’s just because i like people for the attention they give me

we have bin texting for a year now, I have strong feelings for you but you have never asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime.

I think you’re my first love in many ways but I don’t want to fuck it up so we can just stay friends. I just want you around

if I could just feel the way that night felt when we first met I would never ask for nothing more. I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me.

i thought we would last longer, i do admit. you were my bestfriend, now we are strangers. i do think you often. very often. but you are not coming back. i am thankful for that. the things i would say to you after all you put me through. would slice right through your thick heart. i could not leave you heart broken. not again.

i know i'm the one who ended things but i miss you more than anything. i don't feel at home without you.

i dont know how to feel, i hate that you block other guys from my phone. i cant be with someone this posessive

i wish you told me you liked me because i told you, i'd always love you back. now its you and her, instead of us and i am jealous.

I have no hard feelings anymore even though you made me feel awful sometimes. I've moved on and I'm glad, also I like girls now.

you taught me what it felt like to be loved and appreciated. thank you for that. just waiting for the day to feel it again.

You're hurting yourself baby. Eat, Please. Why are you doing this to yourself. You know what you're doing. But why. How are you supposed to tell your kids how you were when you were their age. How will you tell them how messy your room is, how you havent showered in a week, how your room is messy and you wear the same hoodie and sweatpants everyday. How are you gonna tell them your stomach growls all day and you still wont feed it...

It was a nice thought :) I miss our friendship and you still mean the world to me. I’m scared to be happy without you

You talked abt being a starter for bball all last year...

Today you started and I couldn’t be more proud...

You talked abt being a starter for bball, all last year...
Today you started and I couldn’t be more proud

i drink an excessive amount of energy drinks just to feel something other than emptiness. you fucked me over after making countless promises, saying that you wouldn’t be like them. that you wouldn’t leave. i hate you.

i miss you so much, but you’re happier without me. i just wish you didn’t tell me that you missed me just to move on barely a few weeks later.

U fucked me up so badly. Idk why i keep coming back you never have and never will give a shit about me. All you care about its your reputation, how many guys u can lead on and idk all the other shit u say u hate but really love. Just be urself pls. I like her a whole lot better than who ur pretending to be. I think ive met the real her a couple of times. but im done waiting. come find me when u grow the fuck up.

I'm sorry I stopped texting you. I just got it in my head that you didn't really want to talk to me. Now I feel nothing but regret.

i've been begging every day since we stopped talking the moment i'll get you back to my life again.. i've missed you every day as a friend bc that's what i most loved of you, you're such a nice person to my eyes and heart. Your friendship gave me light and there wasn't a day where i didn't regret all the things i did to ruin everything. i just wanted you back as a friend, im so sorry i couldn't control my fellings, now im trying to be a better person to take back your friendship to my life. i know that i don't mean that much for you as you mean to me. that hurts me, i really wish i could be that special to you but i now im not... (im being dramatic? Probably, sorry about that, i like to make this letters kinda novel inspired)
and please stop thinking im an idiot, i realize so many things but im not going to say a shit about it bc i dont want to ruin all the things i've fixed already.
we can't fix anything that happened between us, but now things could be better.
and please, dont dissapear from my life like i couldn't feel sad about it, i really apreciate you, please, don't hurt me again, just don't

No se lo que siento por ti, literalmente no se lo que siento..Se que yo para ti no soy alguien más que una amiga o así, pero a mi me importas mucho. Espero que seas feliz con la que te guste

And still, in the back of my mind, deep in my heart, there’s a part of me that hopes one day I’ll be enough for you.

I’m not sure what it was about you. If it was me not getting closure that kept me so attached after you ended things, or if it was the fact you pulled me out of a deep dark spot. You were different.

It wasn't fair for me to leave when things got tough but it also wasn't fair that you didn't stop me.

Green was ur fav colour. I wish i could take back the time i spent on you and the suffering you put me thru but i know i would still take you back in a heartbeat

i think i pretended i didnt want to be loved because if i asked, you might've said it was too much effort.

I’ve been writing down everything I would say to you if I get the chance again like you said we would. I miss you walnut.

rlly hoping you dont find this lol. knowing u, u would call it stupid idc. this is simply an outlet rn. i like u. idk if you like me. whatever though, its just a highschool crush.

i wanna ask you out but I feel like you would say no. We could vibe to carti and uzi and buy boba. :(

I used to hate what you did to me and the person I became after you. Now I love myself more than ever and never would have became this person w/o what you did to me.

I always think about you.
I wonder if you even remember me, even tho i think u don´t, I still remember the white rose you gave me on valentines day

still i hope that your doing better.
still i hope that you really love her.
still i hope that you’re in good health and all your dreams come true and you find yourself.

I might laugh at the jokes you make about being in a relationship with me, but it hurts that you can joke about it while knowing how I feel about you.

It would have been a year this month. We’re seeing other people now but I couldn’t help to think what would have happened if we still had each other.

I miss you. I can’t stop thinking of you, Even tho you were Extremely toxic For me, i still lover you. None of my friends liked you. But i miss you... still.

When you sent a text, time goes slow, my heart beats fast. It doesn’t Even have to say anything, it just needs to say your name

i love you with all my heart and nothing could ever make that go away but what you done, i will never forgive you, you took something that wasnt yours to take

I know you will never read this, because i never sent it. I know you will never hear this, because i never told you. I know you will never fell this, because i never held you tight. However, when you left you broke my heart and that's when i realized that i didn't fight. I didn't fight for the love we could've had, i didn't fight for you. Im so sorry that i let you go, i would've wished for you to say i love you too...