Unsent messages to NICK

Honestly you were my first BEST friend and i miss you more than you can imagine, i dont know your number or any social media to get into contact with you and the fact we no longer talk is 100% my fault. I knew you were going through a hard time with just life and getting into college so i shouldve been there for you more and for that i am so deeply sorry. I think about you very often and im very sorry we are no longer friends.

I love you. I love you and I wish I could say it normally like we used to. I wish I could apologize for ending something with so much potential all because I didn’t know who I was yet. I know I still love you and I couldn’t ever imagine a world without you.

You make me feel things nobody has ever made me feel. I gave everything up because I was scared. I wish I could tell you I was sorry but I’m scared it’ll rip us apart. I couldn’t ever imagine my world without you in it.

You said you didn’t know why you broke up with me. You said were better off friends. You told me you loved me an hour before breaking my heart.

I hated what you had done to me for so long i hated you. I hated you for lying and cheating but now i want to thank you. You showed me who i never want to be and made me get my shit together so thank you.

it’s been a long time and still no one compares to you. i always hoped one day you would come back. i think about you all the time.

i’m still in love with you. i miss cuddling with you and laughing together. i hate nicknames but the one you gave me is the best thing that ever happened to me. why did you cheat

thank you for showing me what it is to love and to be loved. i loved you the most and i am not sure if i could ever love anyone like i loved you. i was probably not at my best to be with someone and maybe you weren't too, but this served as an experience and a lesson. i still want you be happy, happy with yourself, and encourage you to always be kind. i hope you find your love and i hope you wish it upon me too. this is the closure i never got which took me so long to come to. even with all i went through, there probably will be somewhere in my heart space for you. jk no. jk maybe. you did mean a lot to me, but it was all too soon. i hope you never see this

im not done. I gave you so much of my time and energy and I regret everythin- well no because now I am the baddest b and you still stuck in the same mindset. I am never watering a dead plant again you gave me nothign but cringe. you loss luv. im embarrased to be considered "with you".. dead to me. dont ever mention me because I deserved better. I know I am your dream girl so good luck lol. I was way too good to you love try better thanks! Im done wastin my prescious time , im no longer yours and thats your punishemnt

why did you leave me? i understood leaving them, they hurt you, I defended you, I fought for you. but I was the one you left

If you just stayed then everything could’ve been okay, but you left when I needed you so I had to rely on myself.

I miss the way we used to be. I don't think you love me anymore, like the way you used to, like the way I still love you. Our conversations are so short now, I miss when we would stay up all night just talking. You're all I've ever wanted, but I don't know if you feel the same at the moment. I love you, and always will.

I wish we had a ten things I hate about you kind of love, where I knew that it was mutual and not just a friendship but for overnight. one where after our fight one of us came back to confess the love we had, but it never really was like that was it. it was just holding hands and staring into eachothers eyes...but not like that. it was telling eachother everything and always sitting next to eachother...but not like that. because when it came down to it there really are ten things you hate about me, but not a single thing i hate about you.

i let you do those things i didn’t want you to do because i thought it would make you stay, it didn’t.

I miss you so much, but I will never forgive you for what you put me through. I trusted you and cared about you and you left me. I was scared to open up to you, but I did, just for you to break my heart. If you didn’t want to hurt my feelings then you wouldn’t have done this to me. You wouldn’t have dragged out the relationship and then made me think everything was ok just to do this. The worst part was learning that you only used me for the experience when you probably never saw a future with us. The last text I sent you was for the closure that I needed, and even if you never responded, I can finally move on now. I hope you regret what you did to me.

You caused me so much pain and you don't even know it. I finally got over your ass. This is my goodbye letter. First of all I just wanted to say thank you for being there at times where I needed you and thank you for always asking how my day was. But you changed. obviously for the worse. You went to a different highschool and you changed. You stopped checking in on me. You stopped being there for me. I told you so many personal fucking stuff and you just gave up on me. You act like nothing happened now. You ghost me for a week and then you hit me up out of no where. i'm over it. i'm over you telling her all my fucking secrets that I obviously didn't want you to tell her. You chose them. You gave up. and i do not forgive you. Im letting go of you and our memories. Im not sorry for my decision because you proceed to not care about me and I don't like being treated that way. Im putting this in lime green because its my favorite color and I am now gonna work on myself until I find the boy of my dreams that was you. They wont hurt me like you did. I finally get to let go of you. And I am proud of myself for it. GO ME! anyways not xoxo for you. goodbye nick.

i dont know why i fell for you.
i dont really know why i told you either.
maybe false hope grabbed me by the throat and pulled the words out.
your face will forever be engrained in my mind, and i hate the idea of that.
i hate that you were my unrequited first love.

At one point I knew I was losing you but I tried my best to keep you and I thought I did good.Guess I was wrong.Where did I go wrong tho.It’s okay, I’ll wait for you, I know you’re my person.

i really wish you knew how bad you hurt me, but i know you still wouldn't care. you never did. it was all an act

You're not my usual type; however, we had a great connection. You're an asshole, but I still hope you find someone who makes you happy and doesn't just use you for money

I would give anything to be with you again it’s been 6 years and i’d still choose you over anyone else.

i love you so goddamn much. you do so much for me, i want to do the same for you but i don't know how

this is my second one of these because I realized I had more to say. you probably have better things to do than to read these, can't say the same for myself, but I just want to tell you that I regret it. I really do. but part of me likes to think it happened for a reason. right person wrong time, perhaps? idk. you have so many girls, but when I tell you that you are the only guy I talk to, im serious. you deserve someone better than these other girls, please give me a chance. or a second one because I really screwed up the first. because of that I don't think you will ever look at me the same, and that's what I have to live with now. what if I said yes? what would have it been like? I just hope you still don't see me as that person I was years before. I was scared of the idea of it all. we were young. we still are and I made sure to tell you that. just don't forget about me completely, ok?

you weren't my first love. I havent had one yet, but now I really wish you could be mine, or maybe each others. It hurts that it may never happen.

hey, I know we just friends now but I still want us to be more than friends. ik we didn't talk for long but you picked me up from a really bad relationship and I just got attached to talking to you now it's kinda weird. Like I can't think or talk about you without just going crazy inside because I really wanted us to work out. You were the first boy I actually really liked in two years besides my toxic ass ex so that took a lot out to me also opening up to you after that short period of time took so much. I literally made myself so vulnerable and that wasn't enough. I know sometimes it just doesn't work out people are meant to be but I really felt like we had a good connection. well must have just been me, I got attached way to quickly and fell for you so hardly like back up. This has never happened before. I wish we could just go back and do it again. there's a lot of stuff I wish I didn't say after and stuff I wish I could realize and communicate more while we were talking. I'm a weird one, my mood swings are crazy, one minute I can be nice, having a good convo then Ill become hostile and rude because I get a bad feeling. I really thought you wouldn't hurt men and yes, you let me down nicely but it still really hurt. And now It's gotten really better, those feelings have somewhat died down, like if you texted me rn and said you'd miss me id tell you I missed you too but ik you wouldn't. idk you just made me feel so special like I never felt insecure about my body, n it was just something that you never pushed about which really made a difference. your a very chill person and I'm the exact opposite but I really try to be more chill idk maybe it's a personality defect. anyways I just hope we can try again.

Oh I'm so in love with you and it makes me look stupid. If you're reading this... I hope you can see the signs each time we see each other.

i still love you but i’m happy your life is together and you found someone else. makes me happy to see you happy. reach out again soon.

it's always been you. it took the world falling apart for us to get here... but we did it. we did it bub.

Part of me wants us to actually be forever but truly I know we won’t make it and I’m sorry. I love you always even though you hurt me.

nick we literally planned our trips to europe and becoming spies and shit but that never happened and i’m sorry i got mad and i didn’t want my last words to you to be that but i saw that you aren’t wearing your necklace anymore so sometimes i listen to summertime in paris and reread our texts hoping i see your name say typing or some shit idk but i want to be friends again but i feel like you standing me up was the best thing you could do we obviously were too toxic to work but to us we thought we were the only ppl in the world. idk man i juzt miss you a fuck ton text me sometime

Hey umm.. i’m currently missing you like crazy.. idk what to do anymore, idk when and if you are coming back and i’m so sick of waiting nick.. i still don’t understand what we are and if we are on good terms. do you ever think of me? because i think of you 1.000 times a day. please come back..

i remember when you called me selfish and looking back the only selfish one was you. if you ever loved me like you claimed you did you wouldn’t have left me so broken hearted

I wish we never fell in love, so then I never had to feel this way about you still. I’m always gonna love you no matter what.:,(

i haven’t wrote you in 8 months. i can sleep fine without you now, better, even. i’m finally over you. it feels great.

i love you so much. i have never felt this way about someone. i feel like you feel the same but then i feel the opposite. we have a good friendship and i love being with you. you make me so happy make my days better. i know there is no one else but i feel like you just don’t like me. i try to justify what you do that makes me think you don’t like me but it is hard to go past it. i don’t understand am i anything to you. i know we are young and i don’t want to scare you but i want to be with you. please

You were there for me, you were my best friend. You helped me through thick and thin and I can never repay you. Thank you for loving me and caring for me. I'll never forget the times we've had together. Thank you for always having my back and being kind, respectful and trustworthy. I hope you find the right one for you as you deserve it.

The hurt you put me through is crazy man, a big fuck you to you and society for convincing me that you weren’t a monster.

You will forever be my first love. You bring me joy like no other. I hope one day I get the courage to tell you how I really feel.

hi baby, i just wanted to say that i’m sorry and i miss you so much. my mom ruined it for the both of us and i hate her so much for it. :(

I miss the way you made me feel, The way you knew the right thing to say, and the way you knew just how to make me smile

I still love you. Even though you're fucked as a person I don't know why but you make me want to be with you

you never knew how much you meant to me, thank you for being the reason i wanted to wake up every morning

i told myself i was gonna stop writing these a while ago but sometimes it gets to me, leaving on the note of what could of been. but after seeing you with her i didn’t see the spark anymore, it became easier then it should of been to leave. yes i will always love you, but now you live only in the past, and i can finally say, goodbye forever.

I loved you, you where my first love. You promised me you didn't like her then got with her right after i broke up with you

I won't ever be able to tell you, cause i can't break our friendship, cause i need you, but you are the best that has ever happened to me

hey so i just wanted to let you know that you were my frist love and that i still havent moved on from what we had even tho it was so long ago

I would take all your sadness in a second if you could be happy. You are the most beautiful boy I've ever seen.

You called me after a long time and i said to you that i m finally happy now but the happiness disappeared instantly as you said that you still "love" me.

You called me after a long time and i said to you that i m finally happy now but the happiness disappeared as you said that you still "love" me.

After waiting for so long i said "i love you" and your answer was "i don't know how to love, sorry"...