Unsent messages to NICK

Heyy babyy :) I love you so much I hope we last forever

i’m in your city and it makes my chest ache

You hurt me, but i still want you.

i hope you never leave me, i love you so much

i like you but i don't want to lose you as a friend

stop reminding me that you exist

I wish I could ask you if you’re having dreams of me too.

ur my favorite person ever and i love u so much

i like you so bad and i don’t know how to tell you

i miss what we had before you used me for your own good…..

i’m sorry we didn’t become what i wanted us to be

i want you, i want you to want me.

I don’t ever want to think about loosing you.

i miss the old us before what happened

I miss you more than I remember you

i think you’ll always be my first love, but you deserve better

why wasn’t i enough for you

you’re everything to me. i love you forever.

i really like you but i’m too scared to do anything

i’ll never stop believing in you. i hope you never forget me

i miss you. i shouldn't. but i do.

You can never be mine, but a part of me will love you forever…

i’m waiting until the day we can be together once again

I was so excited about you. Maybe one day.

i love you so much bruh

i’d do anything for mid-summer days sitting on my porch smoking a j listening to lana del rey in each other’s arms again

You scared me nick. So I left you at your lowest point, and you hate me for it. I escaped from you, I am free now.

You damaged me so badly, but I still think about you to this day. Sometimes I wish I could go back and relive those moments again.

i saw a video from one year ago today i smiled watching it but it hurts sm that we went from that to you deciding to never speak to me again. It hurts sm

Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you I fucking hate you you nasty bitch how dare you ruin my life and get yours handed on a golden fucking plate

I thought about reaching out to you, to see how you were doing. Thankfully I came to my senses and deleted your number instead.

please nick I miss you so much and I know I was asshole I know I was but its been months since we broke up just please come back to me and we can fix us i know we can. my sweet boy. let me kiss you at least one last time. i need to feel you.

I don't know what your doing but I think I'm gonna fall and you won't be there to catch me. I won't admit that I like you because then it'll be real

I really liked you. I really did. Maybe I still do. I regret what I did, but I also regret meeting you. You violated me in the worst ways possible.

i think i loved you and i hate myself for it knowing i deserve so much better. i wanted you to grow to be the man that deserved me, but you only broke my heart.

I thought I’d never stop hating you. I did. You still deserve good things, just not me anymore. I hope you find your home someday :)

I wish I could tell you everything thats on my mind. idk if i ever will. you have hurt me in so many ways. you have made me feel as though im not worthy of your time. as if im just a second thought to you. meanwhile, i gave you everything. why did you lie to me in all of those long texts you sent. when you told me you loved me, and that you appreciated me. why did you hand me these empty promises of a future together if you weren't going to fulfill it. everytime you said you would do better, and it was never true. but, still. ive never felt this way for no one else. i deserve better.

ur starting to remind me of my dad and it's scaring me. i know u are trying to be better but u haven't gotten better u haven't stopped nicotine, and i know ur friends aren't the best influences. u don't care about school. u haven't made any steps to ur future. but i want to give you a chance to be better so i am not giving up on u yet. at the same time though i am worried about my being around u.

i’m unsure if i missed you or what we had but i wish we were still together maybe i’m just feeling lonely, i’m kinda embarrassed writing this. I’m trying so hard not to make it obvious that it’s not me but i doubt that you will read this, also i’m sorry for everything i was little immature..

you were my first love but i hate you. you made me believe you cared about me when you didn’t. but you wouldn’t let me go because you liked the consistency i gave you. and i hate you because i still love you

We could’ve been good friends but you kept hoping for more. I will never forget what you said about me, it hurt. Especially because i thought we could’ve been friends again. I couldn’t have meant that much to you if you thought so low of me. Take care Nick.

for as long as i can remember i’ve been interested in you and at first it was simply admiration from afar. you were a year above me, there was no way that you and i could actually have something together. and then the following year came and everything i wanted when i looked at you became a reality. after the party, after my drunken actions, my feelings for you grew even more only to be shut down by your new relationship. and i never resented you or her because i could never be that cruel. so i tried to force myself to forget i ever liked you and looked at you everyday just a little more disappointed at what i wanted so badly but couldn’t have. to this day, i’m unsure of whether or not i love (although i’m like 70% sure i don’t despite what some of my friends say). you were the first guy to show me affection that i’d never experienced before, yet you’re undeniably a questionable person when it comes to morals and actions....like really questionable. whether we talk or not you’ll always have a special place in my heart and mind that i won’t really be able to shake. maybe it’s simply the ideal image of you in my head that i’m so infatuated with, or it’s your presence. somehow, you always come back every few months and it’s temporary satisfaction but i’m just left wanting more from you and i never know if i’ll ever get that. why i’m so attached to you, to this day i’ll never understand, and maybe one day i’ll be able to tell you but for now i’ll say it into the void. i just wish you would’ve given it a chance

i don't think i'm allowed to miss you since i was the one who left.
but i still wear your sweatshirt more often than i should.
and turn my music up a tiny bit louder when i drive by your house.

I still think about you.
I try to move on, but there will always be part of me that is holding out for you.
And I know deep down that I will always love you.

I've convinced myself that my type is tall boys with brown curly hair and glasses that study science.
But actually I think that I just still love you and can't let you go.

i believed the universe had a plan for us, for a life together. i don’t believe in that anymore. hope hurts.

If you are writing to me on here, can you send something in orange? And maybe mention something we both love. I miss you.

i deserved better. and i am better now. the scars you left are fading with each time i open up about what you did. i hope you sought help.

I’m sorry I ghosted you but it hurt so bad pretending to be okay around you. I wish you the best and hope you have found someone worthy of your love.

I wish it turned out different with you. You were the embodiment of not knowing what you have till it's gone. I wanted to tell you how I felt, truly. I want to turn back time.