nick, i thought you cared more than you did, you moved on so fast I feel like I didn't mean anything to you, even though you would say the opposite when we were together. i'm trying to forget about you.

i’m sorry i’m not enough for you. i’m trying my best. i love you most most, always have and always will

Why do you just dissappear and come back acting like nothing happend? I care about you and I'm so confused like you genuinely hurt my feelings when you don't tell me what happened or when you are leaving.

Thank you for being my first love, I wish we still kept in contact because you were one of the sole reasons I kept going to school.

i never actually liked you as a boy friend and im sorry and we cant even be friends this is your fav color

i think i still love you and to the point where it hurts. but rn there's too much baggage. i wanna give you love but just not in this life.

I've convinced myself that my type is tall boys with brown curly hair and glasses that study science.
But actually I think that I just still love you and can't let you go.

I still think about you.
I try to move on, but there will always be part of me that is holding out for you.
And I know deep down that I will always love you.

I still love you. Even though you're fucked as a person I don't know why but you make me want to be with you

I miss the way you made me feel, The way you knew the right thing to say, and the way you knew just how to make me smile

I didn’t love you the way you loved me... but I’ve always been good at convincing myself that my feelings are real.

i dont know why i fell for you.
i dont really know why i told you either.
maybe false hope grabbed me by the throat and pulled the words out.
your face will forever be engrained in my mind, and i hate the idea of that.
i hate that you were my unrequited first love.

i’m sorry i couldn’t help you, i needed to help myself first. i would give anything to hold your hand and tell you everything is going to be alright again

You caused me so much pain and you don't even know it. I finally got over your ass. This is my goodbye letter. First of all I just wanted to say thank you for being there at times where I needed you and thank you for always asking how my day was. But you changed. obviously for the worse. You went to a different highschool and you changed. You stopped checking in on me. You stopped being there for me. I told you so many personal fucking stuff and you just gave up on me. You act like nothing happened now. You ghost me for a week and then you hit me up out of no where. i'm over it. i'm over you telling her all my fucking secrets that I obviously didn't want you to tell her. You chose them. You gave up. and i do not forgive you. Im letting go of you and our memories. Im not sorry for my decision because you proceed to not care about me and I don't like being treated that way. Im putting this in lime green because its my favorite color and I am now gonna work on myself until I find the boy of my dreams that was you. They wont hurt me like you did. I finally get to let go of you. And I am proud of myself for it. GO ME! anyways not xoxo for you. goodbye nick.

i don't think i'm allowed to miss you since i was the one who left.
but i still wear your sweatshirt more often than i should.
and turn my music up a tiny bit louder when i drive by your house.

for as long as i can remember i’ve been interested in you and at first it was simply admiration from afar. you were a year above me, there was no way that you and i could actually have something together. and then the following year came and everything i wanted when i looked at you became a reality. after the party, after my drunken actions, my feelings for you grew even more only to be shut down by your new relationship. and i never resented you or her because i could never be that cruel. so i tried to force myself to forget i ever liked you and looked at you everyday just a little more disappointed at what i wanted so badly but couldn’t have. to this day, i’m unsure of whether or not i love (although i’m like 70% sure i don’t despite what some of my friends say). you were the first guy to show me affection that i’d never experienced before, yet you’re undeniably a questionable person when it comes to morals and actions....like really questionable. whether we talk or not you’ll always have a special place in my heart and mind that i won’t really be able to shake. maybe it’s simply the ideal image of you in my head that i’m so infatuated with, or it’s your presence. somehow, you always come back every few months and it’s temporary satisfaction but i’m just left wanting more from you and i never know if i’ll ever get that. why i’m so attached to you, to this day i’ll never understand, and maybe one day i’ll be able to tell you but for now i’ll say it into the void. i just wish you would’ve given it a chance

I'm sorry I never told you I liked you but just know that I enjoyed every little second of my day texting you..even though you lived so far away

i knew you liked me and I pushed you away, even tho it was kindergarten, i still think back and regret not liking u back

its hard for me to catch feelings the way i did for u. but its harder to stick around when all u do is push to see how much ill take

hi baby, i just wanted to say that i’m sorry and i miss you so much. my mom ruined it for the both of us and i hate her so much for it. :(

I’ve already forgiven you even before you apologized. i’m sorry i haven’t told you anything. i still love you and think about you everyday. I hope you’re happy with her.

I miss you so much, but I will never forgive you for what you put me through. I trusted you and cared about you and you left me. I was scared to open up to you, but I did, just for you to break my heart. If you didn’t want to hurt my feelings then you wouldn’t have done this to me. You wouldn’t have dragged out the relationship and then made me think everything was ok just to do this. The worst part was learning that you only used me for the experience when you probably never saw a future with us. The last text I sent you was for the closure that I needed, and even if you never responded, I can finally move on now. I hope you regret what you did to me.

i wish you could understand where i was coming from and how much you hurt me, but were just strangers now and it hurts to say that. slowly getting used to a hole in my heart where you were. you showed me how easily i can be disposed of. you fixed me only to break me again.

We could’ve been good friends but you kept hoping for more. I will never forget what you said about me, it hurt. Especially because i thought we could’ve been friends again. I couldn’t have meant that much to you if you thought so low of me. Take care Nick.

I wanted you to want me the way I wanted you. But, you told me you were not ready for that commitment so now I have to sit back and wait for you to be happy with someone else, which will break me.

I cant listen to a single song you showed me. They don't sound the same and every song is suddenly about you

so i was good enough for you to talk to me like i was your girlfriend but never good enough to be your actual girlfriend. it hurts so much.

i fell in love with you again tonight after a long time but you thought my stare was because I hate you and I couldn’t correct you

I don’t deserve to be sad but I am sad and that makes me hate every inch of myself. I don’t deserve to feel like this cause nothing has made me feel like this except myself. Would you be mad if I left. Would u be even sad. Cause I can’t keep this act up. I can’t pretend to be happy and cheerful when I know what everyone thinks of me. I can’t pretend to be this person and change myself everyday so that maybe I’ll be happy for real for once. I can’t pretend anymore for the sake of selfishness and I can’t ignore what you’ve said to me. I can’t ignore thinking about never being enough whenever I see you. I think it would be best to disappear. I want to disappear somewhere quiet and beautiful but I don’t wanna trouble anyone. So I don’t prove you right and draw attention to myself. I don’t wanna make you sad or mad. I just want to fade and stop. But I don’t know why I feel like this. There’s no reason. I just feel tired I guess. I think I was happy once. But I think I know what would make you happy. It’s so obvious you hate me and that’s ok. I understand why. I know you’d be a bit more relieved if I left. So I will. I’ll pull a disappearing act and you won’t know why but you’ll be happy and maybe I’ll be happy too somewhere else. You win. You got your wish and I’ll just cease.

i love you so much and every day my love for you grows stronger,you’ll forever be perfect in my eyes no matter how much you hurt me,thankyou for saving my life

I’d give anything to be in the front seat of your car playing music as we watched the sunset again. We grew up and went to college and you moved on but a part of me will always care about you :)

you were my first love but i hate you. you made me believe you cared about me when you didn’t. but you wouldn’t let me go because you liked the consistency i gave you. and i hate you because i still love you

hey blue. i really hope you dont see this but i loved you so much. so so so much. definitely more than you loved me i think. i never said this, but the symptoms of depression started when we got together. that entire time i was trying dismiss it and navigate myself and i shouldve spoken up. it wasnt your fault. idk why it started. i wanted to give you the world and now i can barely even talk to you. i always thought we wld be end game but why why why why did you think being so close with so many girls was okay. i had my heart broken so many times before we broke up by simply watching you not set boundaries. i wanted things to be okay and i didnt want to be controlling. im messed up sometimes and i know. i want to be better for you too. i really do. all i ever wanted was ur happiness. always before my own. i truly consider you my first love. always will be. i love you still, but in other ways. if watching you live hurts me, i wldnt want it any other way. best wishes

i let you do those things i didn’t want you to do because i thought it would make you stay, it didn’t.

I will NEVER be sorry for expressing my emotions and for caring too much. I guess distance did matter to you after all.

Its not fair u dont wanna see me with someone else, and tell me u love me and fuck with 10 others, and lying when i ask if u did

Its not fair u dont wanna see me with someone else, and tell me u love me and fuck with 10 others, and lying when i ask if u did

You will forever be my first love. You bring me joy like no other. I hope one day I get the courage to tell you how I really feel.

I’m sorry you didn’t know you broke me. I’m sorry you didn’t know I was in love with you I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I smiled when you walked through the door. I’m sorry I wanted to be your friend.

dear nick, you were my first everything and i mean everything. i never felt more safe with anyone but you. we were so wrong for each other but with you somehow it still felt right. i’ll never get to experience you walking me to classes or saying i love you again. i will always love you and never be over you no matter how hard i try. your brown curly hair was so beautiful. your eyes were so cold but so warm at the the same time. i miss holding hands to match our freckles up. i miss your grandma’s sweet hello’s when i opened the door. i even miss the horrible stuff behind closed doors. i love you forever and always

I wish we had a ten things I hate about you kind of love, where I knew that it was mutual and not just a friendship but for overnight. one where after our fight one of us came back to confess the love we had, but it never really was like that was it. it was just holding hands and staring into eachothers eyes...but not like that. it was telling eachother everything and always sitting next to eachother...but not like that. because when it came down to it there really are ten things you hate about me, but not a single thing i hate about you.

The hurt you put me through is crazy man, a big fuck you to you and society for convincing me that you weren’t a monster.

we just went our separate ways for high school and I never got to tell you how I felt. I think about you every day. I sort of have a crush on several people now, but I know that I don’t really feel much for them but they just remind me of you in small ways.

i dont know what exactly to say. youve been on my mind so much for the past 6 years and its crazy that we’ve known each other for so long but dont talk at all. i will never forgive you for the way you reacted to my feelings and i hate myself so much for fixating on you even though i hate your guts. i hope i leave an impact on you and you never forget what you did to me. you deserve to feel guilt.

even now, a year later i’m looking through memories missing you. what can i say? you were my first best friend. are you doing okay? are you happy? do you have at least one person by your side who cares about you? i hope you’re enjoying yourself. i’m happier nowadays. i wish it could’ve been with us still being friends. it makes me cry knowing we can’t be friends anymore. but i keep that to myself. i miss you nick. i think i will always miss you. i think that’s okay though. as long as we’re happy. i can deal with missing you. Good luck on this new year. i’ll do my best too

I know that we probably won't talk again but i just wanted to let you know that I'll be always here for you

I never wanted to break up. You stopped fighting for me and that’s when i knew i had to. I still love you and don’t want anyone else but you:/

I miss the way we used to be. I don't think you love me anymore, like the way you used to, like the way I still love you. Our conversations are so short now, I miss when we would stay up all night just talking. You're all I've ever wanted, but I don't know if you feel the same at the moment. I love you, and always will.

not that it matters, but i miss you and would do anything to have you back in my life :( i’m sorry for the dumb shit i’ve said and done to you.

i’m unsure if i missed you or what we had but i wish we were still together maybe i’m just feeling lonely, i’m kinda embarrassed writing this. I’m trying so hard not to make it obvious that it’s not me but i doubt that you will read this, also i’m sorry for everything i was little immature..