please nick I miss you so much and I know I was asshole I know I was but its been months since we broke up just please come back to me and we can fix us i know we can. my sweet boy. let me kiss you at least one last time. i need to feel you.

You're the worst fucking person, but I still wonder whether we were made for each other despite that.

dearest nick, i still love u. i know u think ive outgrown u, but i havent, u r in my thoughts every second of the day. ur voice still makes me melt. do you remember when i was drunk and i told u u were the only emotion i felt? thats still true, its always back to u. i know im going to sound naive, i know im going to sound ridiculous because u were my first relationship, but i promise u entirely: i saw the moon and everything i love about it in ur eyes, and ill love u until i am incapable of loving anything anymore. ur existence is art. im sorry that i changed so much in an effort to feel enough for u. i think that me and u, we're charlie and astrid. my whole life people have wanted me to be what they want from me. u loved me for who i was, u let me have the freedom to be myself, thank you for that. i write letters to u everyday that will never reach u. i just want u to know that i would have never left. i promise. i would have loved to live in that shitty apartment u keep talking about. i would love nothing more than to live life knowing that whatever happened, i always had u to go back to. i would go anywhere with u, because, its u. is that song about me? the one where u seemed to replace my name with coraline? i hope it is. i just want u to know that i adore everything about ur particular arrangement of atoms and stardust. i told u about how we come from stardust when we first met, and meeting u, i felt like id finally come home after searching for it for so long, and i still feel that way. ur love was my home. please let me come home. i wish ud call me that stupid pet name again, i know i hate them and i know its hard for me to show affection, but ur the only person whos affection made me safe, ur still my safe space, i miss when u called me worm u stupid dork. i am still infatuated with everything about u, the way u speak, the way u think, the way u smile, the way ur eyes look when ur sleepy, the way that u exist. my words could never explain my love for u, i would love to hold u and kiss ur freckles and tell u how much i adore u for the rest of eternity until we dissolved into a lake of splendor i still want to drink cafe au lait with u. i can wait for u to feel safe again, but ill always be here. truly, I don't mind. I'm all yours if you're all mine. (im sorry it wasnt ur favorite color, it felt more accurate to how ur love for me made me feel)

Part two: im sorry i wrote two, i just needed to say it. i hate that u still love me, but u cant b with me because ur love for me gives u hope for a future. i want u back, i want all of u i want to know all of ur fears and i want u to know mine. i wish u were here and i wish we could listen to carissa's wierd. i still wanna bake that cake for u. i could never outgrow u. everything about u has me in awe. it would be easier if u were here. stop being so hard on urself, ur always going to b more than enough for me. if the world knew u the way i knew u, theyd melt the way i do, but i dont want the world to have u, i want u all to myself and i dont care if its selfish, i know u still love me because u tell me u do, and what reason would u ever have to lie? sing my favorite songs for me again, tell me how pretty i am again, tell me how i make u happy again. i know that ur protective of me and i know that u think im a fragile angel, and maybe thats true, but i still think u need to b coddled and held and kissed and to b told just how much ur loved. i recreate the world in ur image and i ache for u. u should hear how i out pour all of my unconditional love for u to joelle. please stop hurting me for the sake of ur safety, i promise u that ur safe with me, hurting u is the one thing i could never ever bring myself to do, it hurts telling u that u hurt me. i hope u come back to me. i hope u think of me when u see our favorite colors.

i really wish you knew how bad you hurt me, but i know you still wouldn't care. you never did. it was all an act

You were everything I wanted and more, I miss you. We were always afraid, but couldn't stay away from one another.. we've moved on, but i'll never love someone like i did you. I'll love you always. You have a part of me and my heart always.

i fucking love you dude. with everything in me. i just know that you're my person. i still remember when you liked me but i was too busy focusing on someone else. and now that i realized i have feelings for you, youre focusing on someone else. lifes weird af. but i know the universe will put us in the same lane soon. i hope youre doing okay right now, its been a while since we last talked. i miss you. i cant wait to see you soon.

i never thought i would've been able to get over you. a year later and i dont even remember your touch, your smell, your voice even. all the memories, theyre gone too. your name doesnt even hurt to say anymore. im freed.

I have feelings for you. I was gonna tell you back in October last year, but then you got a gf so we faded. I’m still not over it

Oh, Nick. I'm still trying to get over you. We've never met, but we did talk online for a bit. During those few weeks, I felt something between us. We fell asleep on ft and basically acted as if we were dating. Then She came into the picture. Before I knew it, She took my spot and I was kicked to the curb. I knew that it could never work between us, but I liked pretending like there was someone who actually cared about me. We still talk on occasion, but it's always about her since I'm now basically your marriage counselor. Sometimes I don't mind it since I want the best for you, but I can't help thinking that I wish it was me. I want someone to love me the way that you love her. I want someone to talk about me the way you talk about her. I want someone to treat me the way you treat her. Everyone keeps telling me that my time will come, but I'm sick and tired of waiting. I know that I was happier when I was with you. Regardless of what happened, I wish you the best Nicky

I am so sorry, I didn't know the way I would hurt you by leaving I was so low and had no support and I was told time and time again that you weren't right for me I shouldn't have listened and I am not making excuses I just...wanted you to know you were amazing to me and I'm sorry I was to broken to show you the love you deserved

I don't wanna say I love you, and I don't wanna hear how much you do. I'm terrified of changing my mind and being held down. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you. I'm so happy we're taking it slow.

We were supposed to do so many things together but I just didn´t matter to you like she mattered to you. I hope you are happy and ily forever :)

I thought about reaching out to you, to see how you were doing. Thankfully I came to my senses and deleted your number instead.

why can’t I fall out of love with you? you weren’t even that great after all the lies but I can’t stop myself

today i wrote you a letter. i will send it to you soon. i think it will be the first, the first of the lasts. i hope so.

our love was strong but our hate was stronger. our love will not go unnoticed. with all the hate and fear we had, we were bound to fail. just two kids who started life off on the wrong path. you were my sun and i was your moon. without each other, nothing would survive. not even us. i will continue to love with every ounce of me and i hope you can learn to do the same. i hope that wherever life takes us, you will be happy. all i want is for you to smile and have the life you dreamed of. i want you to live the rest of your life doing what you love while loving and caring for others. i wish it could've been us. god how i wish it was us still but until then, i will see you in another life. goodbye my love.

I am filled with uncertainty about you, our love and myself. But also unsure if I’ll ever be able to move on.

we saved each other. we brought so much to each others lives but took a little as well. everyone thought that it would be us, till forever comes, but i guess they were wrong. and i guess we were wrong too. we have done so much together in the short period of time we had. but i'm glad i had that time with you at all. we saved each others lives. i can't thank you enough for everything you have helped me through. i will owe you for eternity. you. are. my. yellow. i wish you would've asked me to marry you that day. i know we both regret it. maybe things would be different. maybe we'd still be ruling the world. you are the light in my life, the person i looked to for everything. you saved my life that day. if it weren't for you i wouldn't be here. so thank you. thank you for being my love. thank you for taking care of me. but mostly, thank you for being my yellow. i love you forever. i'll miss you bubs. stay safe.

although I don't like the person you've become I still wish nothing but happiness for you. I pray god watches over you and keeps you safe.

Even though I never told you or even dated you, you’ll always be my first love. I don’t have a crush on you anymore, but you’ll forever be my weakness. I’ll always love you.

Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you I fucking hate you you nasty bitch how dare you ruin my life and get yours handed on a golden fucking plate

I was obsessed with you. We never got even close to dating but thank you for making me the person I am today.

i saw a video from one year ago today i smiled watching it but it hurts sm that we went from that to you deciding to never speak to me again. It hurts sm

You damaged me so badly, but I still think about you to this day. Sometimes I wish I could go back and relive those moments again.

you’re the one who makes my life complete. you’re my soulmate,pinky promise. i wish we never broke up. i miss you and i can’t undo it anymore.

idk if you’ll ever see this, but i miss you like hell, Nick. Why do you look at me like you’re looking to a stranger? Is this what we are now?

I used to wonder how people felt to be left behind by the love of their life...after you i don’t need to wonder anymore

what we had wasn't even that special yet im still caught on u. i know you have moved on and it sucks. i hope youre happy tho

my hair hasn’t stopped falling out since you left me. i wish i could tell you this— but even more so, i wish you cared.

i miss you. i remember our movie date back in february, i wonder if you think about it as often as i do, it's stupid that i'm writing this since we agreed to be friends. it's hard, i'm sorry lol idk i'm sorry

You know, I could never say this in person, but thank you for dealing with all the shit I have put you through the past few years. I kinda put you through the ringer because I was struggling with finding my own identity and didn't know what I wanted. You were so understanding and your friendship means so much to me. Here's to relationships that mean so much more when they are platonic.

i miss you a lot but i feel like i shouldn’t bc of what you’ve done to me but imy and it hurts me that i do.

idk if its the fact that you were my first love but i miss you so much you don't even know but it hurts me to remember what you did to me and i don't know what to do about it .

idk if its the fact that you were my first love but i miss you so much you don't even know but it hurts me to remember what you did to me and i don't know what to do about it .

I know we haven’t really gotten to know each other but I feel like I’ve met you in a past life. You make me feel so happy & I forget about the world around us. All I focus on is you. I think you said I love you last night but I think I imagined it. I love you as a person & I know one day we will say those three words to each other. I think about you & want to make you the happiest man ever. It scares me. I’ve never cared nor felt this much for a person. I can’t see life without you.

I'm sorry I don't like you the way you like me, I'm not good right now and I just need to be by myself. the thing is, was that I liked you but you rejected me and now my heart has been pushed away by you before I don't want that again

I miss you. I only know you from the past but from what I knew , I hope you’re doing better. I wish you the best.

I had feelings for you since the beginning of time, and I watched us go from best friends to stangers in a second and it hurt

Please treat everyone with the same respect. You need to get off of your high horse before it get’s you into trouble.

i keep ur love notes in a drawer, i know u dont feel that way anymore, but it helps knowing you really used to

i felt it back then, cant you tell i still do, i know i held on for too long but somehow that never felt wrong

you're not who i thought you were or who i wanted you to be, and it sucks. But hey i guess its my fault for thinking you were better.

i don’t know why i still miss you. i really shouldn’t. but i do. i think about you everyday. do you think about me? it still hurts to listen to our songs.

I still love you. I always will. Even if you don't want me the way I want you. There will always be a piece of my heart that belongs to you. I don't know how to forget you.

I loved you more than you will ever know, you took my heart and virginity and it still wasn't enough ill forever love you darling

What we have is love. Not romantic, just pure love. You are my best friend and the thought of ever losing you scares me so much. I just want you to know that I will always be here for you no matter what, even if we are in an annoying stupid argument. I will always love you so so much

Im always afraid to say this to you because I am afraid of how you will react to it, but i want you to know that I love you. Not as a stupid crush or flirt but as a best friend. I love your personality, the way you act, our convos on facetime, when you ACTUALLY show your face. The little things, its what makes me happy. You are my best friend and I would put you before anyone else whether you would do it for me or not. I find myself missing you and thinking about all the fun times we had when we used to hang out. I really hope things change when you start driving because thats how much I miss being around you.

You scared me nick. So I left you at your lowest point, and you hate me for it. I escaped from you, I am free now.

i wish we could have one last car ride. one last movie night. one last dinner together. i’ll be okay and happy and full. i promise i’ll let go after that.