Unsent messages to MATT

maybe i’m dumb or maybe i was in love but i really thought you were the one but now we just stopped talking as if we never even knew eachother i miss you so much and you don’t even seem to care thanks for everything and nothing

i wish things turned out better ik we both liked eachother and we were close friends but now we never talk. i was so happy when we were on facetime the other night even if other people were on it

you changed. i don’t know what happened? maybe it’s the stress or maybe ‘cause there’s something i said that you won’t even tell me? idk. but you really changed. it just makes me sad that over the past weeks, i can feel us drifting apart, matt. it’s sad that if i don’t make an effort of reaching out to u, there’s no conversation that would happen. maybe you got tired. maybe there’s someone new? idk. i really wish i knew but i’m also scared that having yet another way too serious of a conversation would push you away. is this really our new normal? or is this us, finally saying goodbye?

I stumbled upon our old conversations. I was sad cause I can see how much changed between us. It hurts that I’m losing you. But I can’t keep trying when it’s pretty obvious you don’t care anymore.

I stumbled upon our old conversations. I was sad cause I can see how much changed between us. It hurts that I’m losing you. But I can’t keep trying when it’s pretty obvious you don’t care anymore.

I stumbled upon our old conversations. I was sad cause I can see how much changed between us. It hurts that I'm losing you. But I can't keep trying when it's pretty obvious you don't care anymore.

i am trying to let you go but my grief comes in waves so please be patient with me. i miss u so much.

I wish you didn't pick her... you were the first person I've wanted to be with since my ex broke my heart, I opened my heart to you and finally let myself feel something after spending time being afraid to get heartbroken..and now we don't even speak anymore and you picked her over me...I wish I could go back and stay with you that day she showed up to confess her feelings, I wish things were different, and now I'm back at square one.. afraid to open my heart to someone and let them in and be loved because you took that away from me, the fear of being heartbroken was gone while I was with you, and now that you are with her, its back once again. I hope she makes you happier than I could have.

Tbh ur the reason why I've been so happy my heart burns every time I think about you I think I like u.

i know you will never see this but i think i finally do love you the way you wanted me to. i think i finally understand how u feel about me and i feel it right back. i promise.

you told me you were always going to be my person no matter what because of my anxiety, and you lied. you never answered my calls so I blocked you

I wish it was summer so we could go to our place to smoke at night & talk. It’s been months & I am still heartbroken

thank you for what you gave me, but i have to go, i’m so sorry. i will never forget you, but i can’t love you anymore

i know your a scribble mess,ur wired, but hard to find.i feel like we’re meant to be; i feel it in my heart ?

I'm sorry if I still can't say these things to you directly. I feel like I've said too much and this month just did a complete turn for "us." I know it's my fault because I overthink a lot. I'm sorry if I can't help it. You don't deserve that. I understand now why you're becoming more distant. I know "we're" trying to make it seem like before (or so i think, maybe it's just me at this point who wants to keep trying, honestly) but everyday just gets more difficult. I never wanted our conversations to be just "for the sake of it" but it's starting to feel like it. It hurts that it's like you've put me aside all of a sudden and I've been replaced, just like that. Before, I could honestly feel as if we were best friends but now it's like I'm just anticipating if it's finally gonna be the day you actually stop talking to me. I guess the universe is saying our time is up.

It feels like everything has gone downhill since you left... I thought it would get better but it hasn’t. I need you...

i mean, i still love you and i always will, i’m sorry for what i did to you. but we have to move on. ily

im so sorry i ruined it i did exactly what i told u i wouldn't do and i ruined it i ruined us i ruined u

u showed me what real love was like. every second on ft felt like i was really wanted by someone, and now your gone. and i don't know where to run to for that feeling again. i now sleep it all away and pick up these habits because society tells you it will be healthy. but they don't bother to tell u about the side effects, the pain it causes, the fact that this new substitute for happiness will only be temporary and in reality, the long run means just as much or even more pain than what you even caused. it seems as if you don't care if i struggle, whether its over you or not. its only when you're hi when you begin to care.

i literally like u so much and it’s been that way for 4 years. i don’t want to ask you out for fear of rejection and fear of ruining our friendship.

you moved on very fast but I do wonder if you really loved me like I loved you but I don't think you did. I think you loved the feeling not me as a person and you realised you could get that feeling from many other people. its hard seeing you at times because we are like strangers with memories. I guess this is my final goodbye. I do hope you are happy and and I miss you lost love S.A

Hun, you knew what I was about as soon as you met me. The fact that you thought that someone like YOU could be with someone like me shows how blindsided you were. Always sending you the best

I don't think i'll ever stop thinking about you. And all of the things I could have done better. You will forever occupy my mind. Every single day. Nobody has and will ever compare to you.You deserve the world. I'm sorry I couldnt give it to you. My eternity will be me regretting what I did to you. I still have the lock you gave to me. You have the key to my heart and I hope you know it. I remember the song too you told me goes along with it. You probably wish now you didn't love like there is no heartbreak. My only wish is that I never broke your heart. To my twin flame and my soul mate I am so sorry.

Love,

J

you keep saying nothing changed but your actions says otherwise and it says a lot. i'm trying my best, i'm sorry if i can't do it.

i miss how we used to be. but i know you're probably happier with someone new and you're just too nice to let me down. i appreciate your kindness - but the more that you hold back that it's no longer the same with us, the more it hurts me. so please, just let me down slowly so i can move on. i'll be okay, i promise.

i have a feeling that you treating me like this is your way of soft ghosting me already. it's okay, i'm not mad, just a bit sad. but i'll be fine. i'm sorry if i keep wanting what we used to have when i know in the first place, i'm the reason why it got all messed up. i know you'll never see this but thank you. sorry if i've been so tiring and needy ever since this month started. it's cause i got so used to talking to you for hours on end everyday before but i guess our time is up and it's no longer the same. i guess you got bored but just couldn't admit it. i'm thankful i was still given the time to be a somewhat special friend to you. :) thanks, bud.

i guess i'll keep writing about you here. i'm sorry i lied when you asked if you made me sad before. the truth is i've been sad over you before but i didn't want to tell u hoping it will hold back the fact that you're being more distant with me.

i can already feel us drifting apart, day by day. i just wish i can go back to the time things weren't like this.

I wish you never blind sighted me and even though you still come up in my dreams, I try not to let it get to me and I wish you didnt hurt me the way you did but I also dont wish anything bad upon you and there are some times I miss you but I know I need to let go BUT DO I ACTUALLY MISS YOU AS A PERSON OR JUST YOUR COMPANY

I'll just have to accept that I'll never measure up to her. It just hurts to know you probably treat us the same way. I'm trying to believe you for every time you tell me I'm special, but it's getting harder.

I wish you knew what you wanted, cause all I knew that I wanted you, and you weren’t sure if you wanted me back.

you deserved more than i gave you and i hope she can be that for you even if it means my hometown hurts just a little bit more

Sometimes I want to text you and start over. We just clicked so well it just made sense. But I don’t want to be second best again.

It’s sad that I’ve lost you now because for a minute I found my happiness and it was you and without you well I’m not sure about anything

sometimes i wonder if we would have worked out, and then i remember how easy it was for me to get over you

I still smell your cologne and I know I’m never going to be over you, no matter how much it hurts me in the end.

sometimes i wish you liked me instead of her but then i see the way your face lights up when she enters a room and i understand. my face does the same.

You just posted a throwback to this day last year. Having the time of your life after ruining mine. Fuck you.

i wished you knew how much i cared about you. youre my happiness, my favourite song, my yellow. i love you more.

I would still choose you over anyone else...
You are my twin flame and I will do anything to reunite once all this is over.
Yours,
Lola

I know I am supposed to hate you, but I just can't. You were always so nice to me, and we used to be so close. I miss that so much.

i gave everything for you. i took everything anyone threw at me and for what. for you to just leave and not even try. for you to be complaining about not having someone by your side the way i stood there for years. you don't get to complain. you don't get a say in anything. that's it. you don't get to say how you feel. because you broke me not the other way around. i was here when you got with her, and then her, and even her, and you still couldn't see that it was me. i was the one. i had been there from the beginning not them me. i hate you so much that i cant stop loving you. you dont know how many time i wanted to text back. call you at 1 am. but i know your not thinking about me. i know your somewhere getting high to pretend your everything when you couldn't even see that the person you want and are always asking about was and always will be me.

Every country song I listen to reminds me of when would look into your eyes and see you looking back.

I wish you weren’t so bad. Can’t you just be good for once? I love you so much and I just can’t move on.

I wish you weren’t so bad. I wish you could be good for once, I want my parents to be proud of us. I love you.

i wish i showed i cared more when i had the chance. i cared, care, so much about you. it hurts me so badly that you are with someone who isnt me, but you look so happy and to know youre happy makes me feel at least a little better.

I have never wanted someone like I want you. I have never done for another what I have done for you. I continue to stay with you on your terms because it is the closest I can get to you and it terrifies me to think that one day even that minuscule connection will cease to exist. In another life, we would end up together, for real. But, nonetheless, I cry myself to sleep knowing that in this one, we are not meant to be.

I am homesick for hands that don't even know how to hold me. Tainted fingerprints that my mind struggles to forget.

I am homesick for hands that don’t even know how to hold me. tainted fingerprints that my mind struggles to forget.
i miss you..

I wish you were a better man so I could have an excuse to give my friends for getting back with you. Instead I’ll have to miss you.