Unsent messages to LUCAS

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop loving you in a way you don’t love me. I wish you would’ve tried

your messages make me so happy. i was in a dark place but since we started talking i’ve been the happiest and felt the most loved in my life. i can’t imagine having to let you go. i wish we could take it further but i’m too scared to commit and ask you :/

i still think of you sometimes. Sad you still chose her though... I guess we were not meant to be. Its okay though, still wish you the best. Hope one day we will see each other again ... until then, farewell.

They said it would get easier. It hasn't. All of the memories I find of us keep pulling me back. I always think about how much happier I would be if I could just have one night back in my basement. It's so hard for me to not reach out and tell you out of fear you won't care and don't still want the things I do. But damn I fucking miss you. so does the cat

I don’t know why i’m doing this. We were never a real thing but it hurts so much we might as well have been. Childhood sweethearts. Liked each other since we were both around 7 and even with all the embarrassing moments and the tears we never stopped. I went years and years without talking to you after that big change but even without your texts or calls or talks, i still found myself thinking about you every day. What’s even crazier was when i would find you looking at me as well and as soon as you were caught you would turn away quickly and look down at the floor like you’d always do when you were embarrassed. We went years and years being awkward with one another until that one day you saved me. you saved me from escaping this place that we call earth and saved me from missing out on the lovely events we then got to experience. it wasn’t an easy ride but it was all worth it. every second of it. but that’s the thing. all good things come to an end. as soon as i was happy. felt loved. you were taken from me, right in my arms.the last words you spoke were the words you spoke to me on the first day we met when we were only 5. “you’ll be okay”. yes i still remember. it was a very embarrassing moment for me to say the least but you stepped in and helped me, like my guardian angel. i guess you were also my guardian angel, helping me through all tough obstacles. you always appeared at the right time too. it’s funny because if you were with me right now, you would make fun of me at the state i am in so i am going to stop writing now before i drown in my own tears even though there are so many more things i could write. i hope you are happy. wherever you are. ‘you’ll be okay’. yours always, ‘Lulu’ . (still dislike the nickname btw)

You don’t believe me when I tell you I love you but you don’t even believe in love at this age. We were too young back then I miss you.

I am so scared to tell you how much you mean to me, how long do I have to wait? It has been 10 years already and I want to be with you and spend my life with you. Please send me a sign that you feel the same way, I know we are young but this feels as though it is meant to be.

i really like you your the only guy who is funny in my school and has good humor you also are really cool.

i really like you your the only guy who is funny in my school and has good humor you also are really cool.

you dont understand how much i miss you. When you died you took a piece of me that i'll never get back i just hope you look after it. I'll be with you soon little man I hope you're having fun up there with Col and everyone else no-ones ever gonna replace you and i still cry when I think of you. I hope i'm doing you proud Lucas I love you forever

Everyone told me I deserve better and I know I do but I also know that not talking to you breaks my heart

Everyone told me I deserve better and I know I do but I also know that not talking to you breaks my heart

It’s been years, but you were my first love. I’m sorry I was so angry, we were young and stupid and for all the wrong you did, I made mistakes too. Maybe one day we’ll talk again. I’d like that. If not, I hope you finish that book. I hope you see Tibet

hey , we're strangers now and i miss you so much that i wish i should kill myself right now just to see you from above

I wish you knew how much you meant to me, that I wrote a whole book about your touch when you didn’t even face me to say goodbye.

You were the worst possible first love a person could have, I hate you for destroying my mental health.

i’ve never met anyone as kind hearted and supporting as you are. it like everyday i fall for you even more. thank you for everything loser (:

ive never met anyone as supportive and understanding as you are. you are so amazing inside and out, it makes me fall for you even more, day by day. i appreciate you so much loser (:

i miss you, i wish you never left. you left me broken for months. i trusted you, told you everything. you where all i wanted, i looked for your notification. i told my mum who you were and i dont tell her who any of my friends are. why, why did you leave. you could have stayed for me. you think its all ok but i cant do it. i started cutting because of you. i cried everyday. i didnt want to keep living because you meant so much to me. i just want to know if you ever think of me still and if you regret leaving or if you ever read through our messages. because i sure do and whenever i listen to NF it kills me inside and i will breakdown crying because you introduced me to him. i just wanted you back. im broken because of you. i just needed you to stay. why me? why become so close to me and then just up and leave like i was nothing. you act like everything is fine and im here drowning in my own head alone and cold. im not ok. i have accepted the fact that i havent been ok for a few years but you know, im still alive and thats what matters right. everything has gone to shit, i feel like im in a living hell that everyday is the same but i cant get help, no one sees my struggling to stay alive and they all come to me saying they want to die and i write paragraphs for them and will do anything to keep them alive but im just drowning in my own head i feel like i cant breath.fuck. all i want is to be happy again, i miss trusting people and being happy. at this point i would do anything to be happy again. i wish i never wasted my birthday candle wishes on something stupid, i should have wished for happiness. all everyone ever says is "i understand" "i get it" like NO you dont get it, you arent in my position, i have been through so much. i have had enough its just a chore waking up everyday. i just want someone to notice and help me. please :/
i do miss you tho, everyday

We were only friends really for a couple months. I’ve always felt this connection with you. I know it’s over now and you have someone else but I’ll always think of you

i miss you. i broke up with you because you treated me so bad. you stopped caring about me and it broke me i love you

I have so many things to say, and not enough either. I knew you were it for me since the night you made a promise, and I'm sorry we didn't make it till the end. If there's a next life for us by any chance, I will be waiting for you until then.

Hey lucas how you’ve been? i hope you still remember me, it’s been a year or two since you left and i wanted to know how are you... i will always remember and it kinda took me a long time to forget about you but some things make me remember of you. but i wanted to let you know that i already moved on and now i’m living my life. I hope you read this... Love, Mice❤️

i wanted to make you happy but you were with someone who made you sad. i wish i could’ve been there for you

I can't tell if you love me or not. Please i love you. Just tell me. You're so kind to me. You dont treat me the same. Please.

i fucking hate u w every bone in my body but at the same time i cant bc i still care for some reason and i cant stand it. it makes me so mad to feel like this bc i cant j tell u or anything, it’s too complicated and basically i ruined everything w us bc of her and she doesn’t even like u anymore so it makes me rly mad that i put myself thru that for u and u didn’t even care i literally wanna j get u outta my head and forget but at the same time ur lil games changed me into a better person but she thinks she has control over me now bc i gave u up for her. honestly idfc abt u anymore and i hope u get ur heart broke by ur new crushie bc i cant even think abt u without getting mad anymore and i hate feeling like that but then again u were so good to me until u fucked everything up and it’s partly my fault ngl but i cant believe u would even do that to someone it’s so fucking disrespectful but i’ll never even get to ask u if u even cared cuz ur such a bitch and i never wanna speak to u again but i still want things to go back to how they were before u were such a bitch that u made me resent u for it and it makes me j so angry i wanna punch u UGHHH

Você foi o meu primeiro amor de verdade, eu sinto tanto por tudo que aconteceu! Ainda te amo, ainda amo a gente! Obrigada por tudo!

You broke my heart, but i still love you. You will never know how many times you saved my life. I genuinely wish you the best and i hope you find peace.. i love you

even if i never show it, even if our paths go into different directions i will always love you. always.

you taught me how to love someone so deeply just to destroy me. i hope you’re happy with your new girl.

i never knew how much i needed you until you weren’t mine anymore. i loved you and you threw that love away. we both knew how much we meant to each other and i hope we can have that again someday. even though it’s been 2 years, if you opened your arms-i would run to you without thinking. i hope you realise how much you mean to me. i will always come back to you. i will choose you over any guy. i still love you, i just hope you realise this before it’s too late.

I never told you how I really felt about you. Idk I thought you felt the same and eventually we would end up together, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe in another life. Now I guess I finally need to move on. I'll always wonder what we could've been, and I'll always have a place for you.

i fucking love you pls love me back for once i miss your lips your hands pls i miss you i fucking love you

i love you so fucking much i just wish you could love me back i miss you. i miss your lips pls come back i love you pls love me bqck

I never knew what it felt like to truly love myself until I met you. You made me feel truly happy and whole. Thank you

We were meant to be , atleast we thought we were. you moved on so fast , while i was in pain , waiting for you to say you were sorry. but you never did , you told me you were glad u cheated and that i deserved it everytime and that if you cared you wouldn’t have to have cheated. i’m so sad :( but i’m glad ur happy , just feel better for me

I wish you would have told me to move on because you had someone else instead of leading me on a begging me to put myself in uncommon situations with you.

i really like you and i hope you like me too. i’ve tried to move on so many times but i cant. you won’t see this lol but yup

i wish i had the courage to tell you i loved you before we drifted apart. it's been almost two years and you still cross my mind

I wish I could tell you everything. Just everything I need to tell you. But I’m it would ruin everything.

im fully dependent on u for happiness. if we dont end up together, ill never see love the same way again.

i’ve never felt this way abt someone. i think it’s love. my friends think im obsessed. but it’s love, isnt it?

u disappointed me and i was scared that u could be like him, even thought its impossible. miss u as fuck

I keep listening to your audios and imagining us lying on a field, talking, looking at a sky that is this blue

I burnt those letters because I couldn’t keep them. Not even for a second in those three years I stopped loving you. But you deserve someone who will love you loudly.

definitely not my first love bc i didn't love you and we weren't dating but i sometimes wish that we had. i sometimes wish that we had the opportunity to grow together but we didn't. maybe next life XD

sometimes i wonder what could've been if i'd just pushed my pride aside. or what would've happened if you'd just shown up at my door with flowers and some boba asking to get back together rather than begging over text. there have been so many times when i've wanted to text you but it's been 8 months since we broke up and i think ur finally happy. and im not. and it sucks here without u. i miss you so much.

do,,, do you wanna roam the mountain forests, discovering new mushrooms? do you wanna traverse the rivers, wading up to our knees in freezing water? do you wanna run through large fields where no one can see us? don't worry, i won't leave your side this time. i love you lucas baby

you r*ped me, told me “we’re just friends, i don’t have feelings for you” and started dating someone the week after.

you r*ped me, told me “we’re just friends, i don’t have feelings for you” and started dating someone the week after.