Unsent messages to JOSH

not my first love, but you were one of my best friends. you said you would never leave me but yet here we are ...thanks for teaching me that words really mean nothing at all. You constantly treat me like I’m disposable and I’m surprised I didn’t see it sooner.

I hope you find happiness in that new girl like you did with us. I hope one day I too will find the same happiness with someone else...

i just want one more hangout. one more laugh. one more smile. i still have everything you've ever written and every picture you've ever given to me. id like to think we we were right person wrong time. you messed with my head but i messed with yours so i guess its even. ill always love you.

you were my best friend and first love and now nothing. im sorry I didn't let you know how I felt until it was too late. I still love you but you've moved on so I wish you all the best. goodbye.

i know im too late. you've moved on. im happy 4 u. im sorry i left you. but hey, youre doing better and im proud. ily.

two years ago you were my world, now shes yours. i wish you nothing but happiness, i love you joshua. forever and always.

I have always loved you and I always will. Im sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. You didn’t deserve that. You will always have a special place in my heart.

I remember the first night we met. It felt like I was in a movie, and I loved every bit of it. I remember kissing you for the first time even though I was your first time. And we both felt the spark, I know we did. Then under the starry night you looked at me with love in your eyes and told me how you felt about me, even if it was the first night we met. Then you hugged me like you never wanted to let go. And you didn’t. Then we fell asleep in each other’s arms and it’s was the most beautiful moment of my life. And I love you for that.

You made me finally feel like I had a home. I finally felt safe and now you’re gone. Please come back...

when we met i knew immediately that i liked you. i liked your personality and your smile and the way you didnt want to stop talking to me. now you never respond. i wanted something real with you but i guess you didnt care about that

i will always have a place for you in my heart, even if we no longer talk. i think we were better as friends. i know there’s no going back to that, but i don’t regret anything.

I need to get this off of my chest bc I've been so confused on whether you feel the same way or not bc of all the mixed signals. you automatically make me a more positive and happier person just by being around and my friends see it too, no one has ever had that big of an impact on me. I just wish things were easier and I wish u felt the same way, and if u do, I wish u could tell me. its so hard knowing that you prolly don't think of me half as much as I think of you. your the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind before I go to bed. whenever im out in the halls, your the only person I look forward to seeing. it hurts knowing you prolly like her over me. and honestly as long as your happy w her then im happy for u. part of me wants to stop chasing after u, but something isn't letting me. its like when ur shirt gets caught on the doorknob and u try walking away but u jus get caught right there. if only u knew how much u meant to me bro. there's so much I wanna talk to u abt, so much I want to do w u, there's so many things I want to do but only wit u. honestly, its crazy how one person can make me the happiest girl ever. you don't even realize how much you affect me, that's the weird part. ily. and I hope one day we'll feel the same way towards each other.

you'll never understand how much you mean to me. I wish I meant more to you. why won't you tell me what she's got that I don't? id do anything to make you mine honestly. idk why I feel this way with you, im not going to give up. at least I hope I won't. maybe one day you'll realize im the one, or maybe one day ill find someone else. until then.

I lie to myself and say i'm better off without you. I should be after what happened.
i hope you're happy with her

Whenever I run into you on the streets I have the biggest panic attacks, my mind will always go back and think about what you did to me that day. You ruined my idea of love at such a young age, you traumatised me, you made me think this was all out of love but it wasn't. You found a way to manipulate me so you did, you used my own pain against me and for this I lost friends. I will never forgive you for what you did to me, but I do know now that none of this is my fault.

you were my happiness and you said that long distance wouldn’t work so we split and when you tried to come back to me it hurt because i was trying to move on with someone new. i’m still with that person a year and some months later and i still sometimes think of you. you aren’t what i need anymore though. thank you but also fuck you i hate you

I still say you hurt me but it's only to cover up for the fact that I still have love for you and I miss you so much, these past five months have sucked. please come back.

josh, if ur seeing this please come back. I'm not mad at you anymore. I need you in my life still youre all I think about

why did you have to do this to me? you told me you were finally happy and it was bc of me, and then you left like I was nothing ever.

you taught me how to love myself for the first time I can remember, but when you stopped loving me I forgot how to love myself

im sorry for not reading your signs. i wish there were ways i could help you. i wouldn’t want a single bad thing on you

Why do you still have an effect on me even though i know in my soul that im over you. Its been months. I just wanna know how you’ve been doing without me.

That night I thought we connected, but when I didn't give you what you wanted, you left. Now I often find myself wondering what I could have done to make you stay a little longer. I find myself constantly checking my phone to see if your name pops up even though you haven't messaged me in a week. I hate the fact that I'd respond instantly to anything you'd send. I'm sorry I can't be apart of the 'hook-up' culture, I just get attached way to easily:(

You make me feel as if everything going on in my life, good or bad, doesn’t matter because all you say is one word. I can’t do it anymore

you leave in April and a few months ago that would have killed me, but now i'm happy for you and I know its for the best

I wish we could’ve worked out that things weren’t the best before it was too late and I wish you had told me you felt that way. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to move on from you. I hope the time we spend apart brings us back together one day. I don’t know what else I’d do.

I’m so inlove with you and the feeling isn’t mutual. Staying is only hurting me but leaving will hurt more.

I hate you for what you tried to do to me. you'll never be able to know how much what you did has effected everything I do and every way I think. I hate having to see you every day as a reminder

I crave a love so deep that it drowns out all of the sadness I carry. I had that with you and now you’re gone, and I don’t know how to keep my head afloat

I want you. I want the bad days. I want the broke days and the constant working. I want it all. But I want to be a priority too not just an option.

hi im very sad right now which is why im on this website but do machon please please and please hi aidan aidan

you really have me sat here searching up "how to not blush"
its your birthday in 23 minutes and i just want to tell you everything, and just thank you, because without you i would have given up and i most likely not be here anymore. you make me want to go to school, u make me want to wake up in the morning just so i can see you and maybe talk to you. you have no idea how happy you make me with just a simple conversation. literally one conversation with you stops me from hurting myself. but i won't tell u all this because i don't want to ruin your day. you really are probably the best person i've ever met, from your curly hair to your adorable smile and your eyes. i know that sounds so cliche but without you i don't think i would still be here, so thank you. i hope you have the best birthday ever because you deserve the world, even if i can't give it to you

I am positive you were my first love and even tho I moved on so fast a part of my still misses you and wants you back. Yes I like Your best friend and I feel so wrong for that but I can’t help it. I told you I liked you and you probably just thought of it as a crush but I can tell you now it was a lot more than that. I will never be able to tell you how much I cared for you and loved you and wanted to be with you and when you blocked me I started to figure out that you weren’t all I thought you were and all your flaws were revealed and how selfish you really are and I’m happy I moved on because I found happiness without you which I haven’t been able to do in months so thank you for being my fist love and making me happy but I guess you weren’t the one.

i’ll meet you again one day. i know you’re the one for me, neither of us are ready right now but we will meet again. what we had was special, and what we will have will make this all worth it. this is just the start josh. i will meet you again, and this time i won’t ruin my chances. i will make us work. until next time?.

why did you make
me feel like i’m not enough? sometimes i look at the stars and am happy we’re still under the same sky. fuck you

I’ve fallen for you so hard over the past month. I know we can’t be together and it hurts me so much. I just want to give you a big hug

I wish I could tell u how I feel, I’ve never liked someone the way I like you but I’m scared you’ll reject me. So I’ll never send this message, I miss you

I'm sorry that i wasnt what you wanted, and im sorry i couldnt come see you and it hurt you. i really do love you

sometimes i wish i could go back and tell you how i felt. i loved you so much and you never knew, and now you never will.

You saved me! and I runied everything. All I want is to love you and hold you again. I can feel myself slipping away.

Thank you for everything, for saving me, for the memories, for the lessons
I will always be here if you need me.
I love you, always and forever

why did you tell me you break up with your gf when you didn’t. Why would you want to hide me your relationship?

i should write you a letter just so i could admit the truth. then i'd burn it. i'll never tell you the truth about how i love you until i leave this town bc it would ruin the friendship i value so much.

i hate that i still think about u after u made it clear u didn’t feel the same. it was one sided and i was still stupid enough to still think there was a chance.

i’ll never not love you, even twenty years from now, a piece of me will always look for you in everyone i meet. you will forever be in my heart. though, you will probably never know the depth of my love, it’s okay. you’re happy. and that’s all i need.

You cheated on me, lied to me and did more. You texted me so long ago asking for forgiveness and I said I forgave you, but I never did. I'm permanently damaged and I will never forgive you for it.

You absolutely broke me, 3 times. And I hate you for that. But I also hate myself for that same reason.

I’ve loved you for a long time, longer than I’ve realized. You’ve taught me so so much but hurt me just as much. I still can’t help falling for you over and over...

It’s been a blessing to see you grown confident in yourself and your abilities. May you never lose sight of where you’re going and who you want to be.

i wish we kept in touch, i know it we met at such bad timing but i wish we stayed friends. i’ll always regret the day i cut you off completely. i wish you the best and if fate gives me another chance to talk to you, i’ll do it in a heartbeat :)