"hi josh, merry christmas!" insert christmas tree. i'm so glad i greeted a classmate that i don't even talk to before. i'm really happy a lot things between us changed. confessed to each other, now more like loving each other. i can't wait to meet you again someday, i really hope this journey we have together is forever. you're really someone special in my heart. i have never felt this with anyone. only you can make me the happiest and the saddest. i'm looking forward to make more memories with you in the future. we've planned all these little things, and you really give me butterflies. the best thing ever, i'm really lucky to have you. i really hope things between us just keeps getting better and better, i will never get tired of supporting you because i'm your number one fan like what i always tell you remember? i want you to stay strong, please wait for me, i will wait for you. i'm never gonna stop loving you, mahal.

I’m so sorry, I care about you more than anyone even though you don’t believe me. I love you. I hope we try again one day.

I still dont know how to feel. I fucking despise you for not keeping the promise. I kept mine for much longer. you were the only thing keeping me sane and you're gone. but I also know it was entirely my fault. I was despicable. I want you to know im getting help. I'm so sorry my darling.

sometimes ill smell something or look at something that reminds me of you and my heart drops. everything came crashing down when you left. why wasn't i good enough???

im sorry for not reading your signs. i wish there were ways i could help you. i wouldn’t want a single bad thing on you

haven't heard your voice in 14 months. don't know if you even remember me & everything we went thru. i think about texting you daily, and every day i decide not to because you're doing well, i'm doing well, and why disturb the peace? still -- i wonder what could happen if i were to just say, "hello".

it hurts so much knowing that you probably think of me as no more than a friend or even just an acquaintance. i know it’s so likely that you’ll never feel the same and the odds of us are most definitely not in my favour but i’ll always be there for you no matter what, you’re everything to me, i think you’re the definition of perfection. it hurts seeing you and losing focus on everything around me because of your beautiful eyes that change from the colour of a forest in summer to a galaxy like
blue in the sun. eventhough you may not see the same you as i do, i assure you that what you may see as imperfections are what make you so charming. i know you feel the need to hide your true feelings around others sometimes and i wish that i could just give you a hug and tell
you that everything will be okay and that you can always vent to me but i cant. if things were different i hope that i would stand even the slightest chance with you than i do now, you’ll probably find a love of your own soon and it probably won’t be me and i won’t deny it, it’ll hurt bad but all would ever want is to see you happy. you are unlike no other that i have ever met, i love that you have such a passion for history and writing, i would love to learn more about both. i admire you so very much and you are my inspiration to pursue my love of writing which i would have never taken further if it wasn’t for you. i have read some of your writing online and although i may be slightly biased, i genuinely do think you have so much potential and that you’re such a talented writer, you could write about the most dull subjects and i would be immersed in the words for hours on end. i am so thankful to have you in my life, even if you will never feel the same, even if you never notice me in the same way of which i notice you and even if you forget me. you mean so much to me and i know i have recently expressed some of those feelings but words on a plain little card cannot even begin to illustrate my admiration for you. this has gone father than i ever anticipated and i myself cannot even begin to fathom how this has happened but it has, i have begun to pick up on the slightest little things such as the way you always walk with perfect posture, the way you always tilt your head slightly when you grin and the way your eyes twinkle when we make eye contact. i think i’m in love with you but i’m not sure that you can or will ever know.

you taught me how to love myself for the first time I can remember, but when you stopped loving me I forgot how to love myself

why did you have to do this to me? you told me you were finally happy and it was bc of me, and then you left like I was nothing ever.

josh, if ur seeing this please come back. I'm not mad at you anymore. I need you in my life still youre all I think about

I still say you hurt me but it's only to cover up for the fact that I still have love for you and I miss you so much, these past five months have sucked. please come back.

I still think about you, all the time. It's been 2 years but I still love you as much as I do when we were together. I hope you're happier. I love you, forever and always

I'm so sorry... It was all my fault we didn't work out and its something I still struggle to come to terms with...

everyday without you hurts more and more . i have never cried harder than taking your pictures off my walls and seeing the empty space from where you used to be . i don’t know what i did wrong . you were always my very best friend , & i will love you until my dying breath

i’m sorry for not being the person u really want. i’m sorry i’m not the girl u met that night and i’m sorry i left, if i could change time i would and i’d make everything abt me different

i’ve finally let you go, i no longer search for you name on my story and i no longer think about the what if’s. thank you for showing me what i truly deserve

We spoke for 6 months everyday and you promised to meet me... then one day you stopped texting me altogether... why?

I always think about you. everyday I wish I had actually told you instead of saying I’d do it another day

as soon as you start leaving more often the more i miss you. i miss you as much as i tend to miss her.

Some part of me still is waiting for your message and I think that might always be the case. You hurt me so badly yet I still think back and smile because you taught me so much about everything including myself and my boundaries. I know we have both changed a lot but I will genuinely always love you. Love, M

my world seems more dull without you. i miss our friendship, i miss our laughs, i miss our time together. i miss my best friend but youve got a girlfriend now and im happy for you but i just want my friend back

I still dont know why u stopped talking to me. U were my first kiss and I don't understand why u stopped replying to me and ignored me in public. what changed?

you hurt me so much and i never even got any answers. i never thought u would actually want to be with me and u proved me right

Hey JT, you broke my heart when u promised you wouldn’t. I understand why you went back to her, i just wish she knew u promised me a lifetime together. rare as dandelion and burdock ay?

I cannot tell for the life of me if you are gay/bi and have feelings for me; just know that I love you

i really loved u and u still broke me and it was nothing to u did i ever mean anything to u god u were so perfect u could do no wrong yet u still broke me, i’ve moved on tho i never thought i could but i’ve moved on. so fuck u!

I wish you didn’t give up on us so easily. I miss you. I haven’t been able to eat weetbix because it doesn’t feel the same anymore.

Thank you for listening to my rants, holding me while I cry, dancing with me, comforting me when I'm scared. I love you.

I can’t quite pin when it began, however from the first moments I met you my heart clung to you like a burr. Our paths crossed for only a short glimpse of time, however it seemed to be destiny. I know I’m a cheesy person, however it truly felt meant to be. I’m not sure where things went off rails, however they did fast. And hard. I didn’t want to let go, no matter how hard you or I were hurting. I wish I could have been able to heal your pain. But on the contrary I wished for you to notice mine. My heart isn’t one of high demand, I’m one for the little things. But you made my small desires feel like avalanches, and as each rock fell my heart broke more and more. I started to spin in an area of doubt and sadness. All I wanted was for you to love me the way I did you. Although i tried my hardest, that just didn’t feel possible. And finally I broke. Even with the time passed my heart still longs for what was. I love to think about the times we spent under the sky. Making wishes upon the shooting stars. I always quite pondered if those will come true, and what it was that you wished for. At the end of the day just simply laying next to you was enough for me. There was never a wither of doubt when we were together. But when we were apart, it was as though you grew stranger to me. A cold wall would seep over and it was like I was calling out into an empty void. But that was then. Now it seems to be no matter how far I wander away from you, something always brings me back. And that’s what sucks.

You hurt me mentally and I hate you for that. But I’m still deeply in love with you. That’s why I’m still with you.

You always made me feel like I was enough until you left and I thought I was nothing. I’m still getting myself back.

I still wonder what it would have been like to slow dance with you...and now I can’t stop thinking about it

i miss talking to you everyday. i miss seeing your face. i miss how you made me smile. i miss you so much you have no idea.

you were my happiness and you said that long distance wouldn’t work so we split and when you tried to come back to me it hurt because i was trying to move on with someone new. i’m still with that person a year and some months later and i still sometimes think of you. you aren’t what i need anymore though. thank you but also fuck you i hate you

i try talking to u but u don't give anything back. i know I'm wasting my time but i can't get u out of my mind

Whenever I run into you on the streets I have the biggest panic attacks, my mind will always go back and think about what you did to me that day. You ruined my idea of love at such a young age, you traumatised me, you made me think this was all out of love but it wasn't. You found a way to manipulate me so you did, you used my own pain against me and for this I lost friends. I will never forgive you for what you did to me, but I do know now that none of this is my fault.

I wish I was enough for you to stay. I haven’t moved on, I can’t picture any kind of future without you. I hope you come back, Iloveyou

I loved you so much you had no idea. U were so kind and caring and sweet. Then that one thing happened and I hated you. I can never feel the same way about u again. So this is it goodbye Josh. I will always love you but I will also always remember that one thing and how it made me hate you

i don’t think you’ll ever understand how much you validated my entire existence; or equally how much you made it miserable.

i wish i could lay in your arms forever, listening to your heartbeat as my head rests on your chest. falling more and more in love with every forehead kiss.

you broke my heart, but thank you for being my first love, i hope ill always be in your life one way or another, i love you

i’m slowly falling in love with you . you’re all i want , i’ll always be here for you even if you leave me . i know what to we can’t have each other right now but it’ll get better soon baby. i promise .

i think im finally over you and then once in a while my heart drops when i hear your name and i know im still holding on

you ruined me and to this day i’m not the same as i was before i met you. i don’t think i’ll ever be okay again.

I did everything right but you still chose her over me and I will never feel the same way I felt when I was with you

I lie to myself and say i'm better off without you. I should be after what happened.
i hope you're happy with her

you knew that i liked you. you flirted and made me think it was all in my head. if only you could see me now.

i finally think i’m over your shit, i thought it would be more painful to say goodbye but it wasn’t, whether that’s because i blocked it all out and stopped thinking about you or because i never really cared i’m unsure of. i actually feel sorry for you, a shitty school with shitty people, i pity you. i pity you. i never told you i pitied you cause you would’ve felt so angry, but i did, and i still do, just know that. you won’t see this ever, i know you won’t, but writing this just feels great. i realised anytime we’re not talking i seem to get better and as soon as i’m reminded of you or talk to you again i fall back into a pit. i’m better, i wish you could be honest and say the same but you can’t cause you’re not. i don’t think i ever loved you, i just loved what i had convinced myself you were, in truth you’re just a horrible person. do what you want, i’m not here anymore :)

when we weren't talking, i tried to look for you in everyone else. thing is, they were never you. thats why im so glad you texted me. tysm and ily even if i show it a lil less than before. ill get used to it blEgh. :)

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I want to spend my life with you, I’m scared that you don’t.