Unsent messages to JACK

I wish i could take back what i did to you. but now you’ve moved on with someone exactly like me and i still love you.

if i knew the last time we hugged would’ve been the last time, i’d have held on a little longer. i miss how it feels to touch you bub

i miss you. i wish we could be what i thought we were going to become. i'm sorry for pushing you away

you linger in my head, consuming every single one of my thoughts. i think i’ll always miss you, and i hate myself for that. i loved you - you said you loved me to, why did you lie?

Even though I know you don’t think about me I still worry that I won’t feel the same way about anyone that I felt about you.

I’m sorry we went on different paths but I hope we find our way back to eachother one day. I’ll always love you.

I loved you so much. I told you the way people had betrayed me before, you promised you wouldn’t and then you did the exact thing I asked you not to. I asked you to stop because I couldn’t handle dealing with it again and you chose that our friendship was not important enough. I don’t know how you expected me to just get over it.

i hate that i still miss you. you found out you were only into guys at the end of the summer...guess who goes by he/him now... im obsessed with jojo now, thanks a lot. everytime i break up with someone now, i think of you. i wish you the best. ciao mi amor.

You knew how to make me smile, thank you for saving me that summer, you don’t even realize what you did for me

ever since i met you i could just tell you were an amazing person and we talked so much about plans for when quarantine was over then you chose her over me. i miss you and even though we never actually dated i think you’re my first love and i still love you everything about you is perfect

You broke me, I’m reminded every day by the clinic. I fucking hurt so much because of you, but you made me stronger so I thank you in a way

we made a pinky promise.. i just wonder if you will keep that promise up, because i don't break mine and don't intend to

I love you more than anything and never want to hurt you. I can’t wait to be with you. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. You always have me by your side; don’t forget that.

I have not been able to see anyone else because I am in love with you.

But I don’t think I will ever tell you that.

why did you tell me you love me then walk past me like you didn't know me. I never heard from you again and I think about it every single day.

I realized the other day I’ve never been in love, but somehow you are still my first love- and when I think of you, I think fondly of a severed connection without a great deal of loss. Nothing good gets away.

I hope you're well,and smiling; Just like you taught me, even on the darkest days. Thank you. I hope you still learn chinese.
你是我的黄色

I thought you would love me more after I helped you through so much. Instead, I helped you so much that you didn't need me anymore and you stopped loving me. Maybe you never loved me in the first place.

i wish you would’ve told me why you left. i think about you everyday but
i know you don’t think of me.

You are my best friend, and I'm in love with you... but I don't want to ruin our friendship because you are the only person I have.

Please stay. We can make this work. I know we can. I can't go without your jokes and your laugh and the music you send me. So please stay. Stay because I know you feel the same. Stay so we can grow together not apart. Stay because I love you. Stay because you love me too.

Thanks for bagging our food at the grocery store today. It gave me terrible butterflies, so I will probably avoid the grocery store for a while...

i once told you that if my love is too much, you could tell me. soon after, you felt suffocated, and you left me, and i still miss you so much.

u were my bestest friend, you loved me since we were literal children. even though we're apart now and i found someone else, i still have no idea if i ever loved you the way u did me. did i love you cause i knew u liked me? because you were my first and practically ever guy friend at the time? i'm glad i found someone better than you with closer interests to me at this point. i hope you find yourself being happy in the future with whoever you find. i will forever be sorry for the way i ended things, it was the bitchiest thing i've ever done but i was too confused and annoyed to care. you look at me in a way, i have no idea if you wish to talk to me, still like me, or greatly dispise me. I'd talk to you if you wanted to but i could'nt approach u even if i wanted to, i have no idea how to start things. would i be mad if you found someone else? i dont really know, and i hope not. the way we knew eachother for so long, the way people always wanted us together, these make me think we are supposed to be together, but our interests and cares say other wise. i hope you matured over these 2 almsot 3 years

hey. it’s been a while since we last talked. i hate to say this but i miss you and i took u for granted and i’m so so sorry. i’m a fucking idiot. it was u all along. why couldn’t i have realized it sooner? i spent all this time thinking it was your fault because of her, because of your idiotic attempts of making me jealous. and because of that, i wanted u to feel the same. why couldn’t we have just came to the realization that it could have been me and you. why did we have to make “us” into a game of who could make the other more jealous. if i hadn’t played along, maybe you and i would still be together. it’s my fault. i’m sorry.

I saw you walking one time when we were both back in Boston, and I regret not saying hi. So I'm gonna say it now. Hi

you can’t fall out of true love, it was never there in the first place. you lied to me every time you told me you loved me

i convinced myself all we had was platonic, but when you touched my hand i felt like i was being electrocuted
i really like you
i wish we talked more

and after all this time, it’s still your open arms i want to run into when things get tough. no one knows me like you.

the loneliest feeling in the world was not speaking to each other at all after talking to you 24/7, every day, and trying not to meet your eyes while pretending I never knew you when, in fact, I knew everything about you.

my dad told me he texted you out of his respect for u and he said u never responded. shows the kinda man you are. glad we’re done

I'm so glad I left you because I now realize how you were such a bad person and now u are a sloppy drunk, TRAVELING IN A PANDEMIC, and your fucking with bitchs that are uglier than me so... I know my worth now. bye hoe

I know you won’t see this which is exactly why i’m writing it. I miss talking to you even if it was as friends, I miss sneaking out with you. sometimes I wish nothing happened between us so I could still talk to you because it’s not like i could stop caring about you? I bet julia is great ! I just wonder if you actually meant anything you ever said to me.

I wish you focused more on me than yourself, but I always loved the way I felt when I finally captured your attention. I wish I would have captured it longer. I miss you.

i love you so much, more than you’ll ever know. i can’t wait to experience life and grow old with you. here’s to being soulmates...

I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what you did. I still blame myself some days but I'm ready to let it go. To let you go

I don't hate you. I just wish you hadn't given up on what we could have been. College wasn't the reason we ended. You will always be my first love and I can't forget that.

I wish I knew what actually happened. Did you cheat on me?Either way you were done with us before it ended and that completely fucking destroyed me. L.

I just really wish things couldve turned out differently, you meant and still mean so much to me and i think i do love you.

I'm scared one day I'll wake up and you won't be in this world anymore. Please, don't leave me, my love.

you saw me in blue. loved me in blue. now i can’t wear it without remembering how it reminds me of you.

you know... i keep asking myself why do you keep leaving? is it something i did? did i mess it up, like you always make me believe i did? or is it you? manipulating me, like you always do? or is it just the both of us, letting us go over the same fight over and over when we shouldn't? if we know it's not healthy for the both of us, why do we keep going? i don't know what to do. you've turned into something you would've hated months ago. and someone i would hate now. i keep giving you these useless chances you keep wasting on dumb shit. we have the same fight over and over again but what's the point if you don't listen to what i say anyway? you're a toxic prick, that i can't seem to get rid of. all my friends are fed up with you enough. why can't i be? i mean; i am afterall, but why can't i let go? why can't i do what my friends tell me to do? why do i keep sticking around for no reason? maybe you're just a master at manipulation that i can see through but can't let go of. i'm sick of your behavior. but i can't learn to let go. my biggest mistake was sticking around anyway.

hi. you haven’t replied to my texts or calls in a year. I’m pretty sure I lost you. it’s ok though because I know you’re happy with her now. I wish you could be happy with me though. I tried so hard to make things work and I know they could if we tried. Me and you. it would be hard but we would be together. And in love. My mom misses you. She always liked you, she thought you were handsome. She always said we would have beautiful children. Could you imagine having kids jack? Our kids. we could have a beautiful life. Just come back to me baby and we can be so happy and so in love. Me and you
Love, your lilly

things weren't meant to be and i'm sorry that i made that clear in an awful way. I wish i was sorry but i'm happy. you're a great person and very talented. i just know things will go so great for you. I wish you so much luck.

I don’t know what I’ve done to get on your bad side. You make me feel so scared and uncomfortable; I shouldn’t have to live in constant fear. I’ve not done anything wrong.

hey buddy I really miss you, hope all is well up there. I still sleep with your teddy bear every night and look for you when I get home, why did you have to leave so fast?

i just wanna talk again. there's so much going on, i just wanna catch you up and be able to face time you. gosh please call loser

You are really good friend i hope you are doing ok sometimes i see you down and sad and tired but you are so funny and good company. Im so sorry that me and nyelle make fun of you but its so funny u are sometimes weird but you are truly a great friend.

I'm sorry my mental health affected our relationship, but I had to love myself. When it comes to making decisions by myself, I have to put myself first. I do love you though.

I loved u dude, it sucks it ended a week before christmas but i really hope you’re ok because you were a great person and a great boyfriend