im sorry for lying to you. you dont know that I lied though. I couldn't & can't ever bring myself to confess how I truly felt. I started talking to you because I felt bad, I didnt like how you were treated, no one should be having to go through that. I thought it would be nice if I could be your friend. we became closer, to the point where you fell in love with me. you asked how should you confess to someone, & I personally gave you my opinion; a handwritten love letter would personally make me happy, & I think anyone would be happy to receive that as well, its a sweet gesture. the next day, I received a letter, I knew it was from you, but I didnt wanna admit it was because then if it wasn't, it would be embarrassing, so I waited until I came home to read it, & it did indeed turn out to be a love letter from you. my first mistake was writing back to you, saying that, yes I liked you too. im wrong for that. I shouldn't have ever said that, I shouldn't have lied to you & myself. over those coming weeks, I tried convincing myself that I do like you, & while it was a literal lie im telling everyone including myself, I still carried on with it. when you asked if we were in a relationship, I answered that no not really, because "I didn't really like putting labels into this sort of thing, & I also think im not ready" I think my statement still stands. I was never ready because I never liked you that way, & maybe the reason behind "labels" was just an excuse to say that I secretly didn't wanna be in a relationship. & the night you asked if you were to say "I love you" would it be okay? I answered that it's fine but don't expect me to say it back because I liked to use it wisely. & to that point, I realized I was lying to you & myself & that I needed to stop. but I kept digging a deeper hole for myself, it went on for a few more months until I finally reached an escape hole to tell you the truth. you asked if I started to lose feelings, & you asked this because I started talking to someone else (which bothers me when people ask this question), "are you losing feelings for me?" I answered honestly but its also a lie since I never like you, I answered "to be completely honest, yes, & it's not your fault." this whole fib that I had going on is my fault & I wish I just never returned to your letter. I guess I said I liked you back because I wanted to know how it felt like to be loved. I didnt like it. & its solely because I didnt like you back, of course I didnt like the way it was feeling. im sorry jack for lying to you, & im sorry for lying still, you have no idea to this day that I never liked you.

I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what you did. I still blame myself some days but I'm ready to let it go. To let you go

Why did you have to treat me like that? i will live my whole life believing i’ll never be good enough for anyone. You gave love a bad reputation.

Dear Jack,

I. Love. You. God, i don't know how to explain the way you make me feel. Or at least the way you made me feel. And the thing is, I can't stop craving that feeling. I can't stop craving the butterflies that erupt into my stomach the moment i see you sent me a message. I still dream about you. Every night. I know we've never met but i dream that you want me the way you want her. I know. She's the most beautiful person there is. Why would you let her go for me? I don't know. You probably shouldn't. But it hurts. It's hurts so much. Knowing that you loved me once. Did you? Or was that fake too? Why? Why don't you love me anymore? Why am i not good enough? I'm not guilt tripping you. Because not everyone has feelings for just about anyone. But i just want to know. What about me was not enough? I just want to know. And I know you think that i don't love you. But i really do. And i just really want you to know, that you will always be in my mind. The moment i hear the words love, jack, him... anything. You are there. And a small part of me tells me everyday. One day. One day he'll come back. He'll want the love you have to offer. That voice tells me to not give up. But it's so hard. You're like a drug, an addiction. My mind is constantly wrapped around you 24/7. So I ask you one last time. Why am I not good enough?
_V

Why u have to love my bestfriend and even that tell me that u love me? I just want to forget u, but is so fucking complicated. U still tell me u love her, but when i try to fotget u, suddenly u send me a text telling me u love me, wth should i do with this feelings?

i love you so much, more than you’ll ever know. i can’t wait to experience life and grow old with you. here’s to being soulmates...

I think you’re really pretty.The way you smile at me when I’m feeling down makes me feel like the only girl in the world.I love you

I wish you focused more on me than yourself, but I always loved the way I felt when I finally captured your attention. I wish I would have captured it longer. I miss you.

I fell in love with the way you looked at life. The way we clicked instantly and I saw you bring out the best in me. I know somewhere there is love for me back, I know that kiss didn't mean nothing, and I know one day you will realize. Until then, I'll be waiting.

i’m in love with you, ever since we were in high school. you’re the one i can’t move on from but it’s nice having you as a best friend.

I'm sorry that we never tried. I'm sorry that u were to much of a coward to love me. I'm sorry I was so naive and impatient. I'm sorry that we can never have those moments again. I'm sorry that I can't l love you anymore.

I know im not supposed to like you but I can't help it. I wish you would like me back. I wish we could be together. I'll just quietly watch from afar.

i know that i dont like you like that, and i know that i set you up with her, but why does it hurt so much.

I know you won’t see this which is exactly why i’m writing it. I miss talking to you even if it was as friends, I miss sneaking out with you. sometimes I wish nothing happened between us so I could still talk to you because it’s not like i could stop caring about you? I bet julia is great ! I just wonder if you actually meant anything you ever said to me.

fuck you for making me fall in love with you. I don't know if I even miss you anymore or just miss home. So yeah. Fuck.

i was so awful to you. and i’m sorry because if i would have realized of shitty i was i would never have let u be with me

I'm so glad I left you because I now realize how you were such a bad person and now u are a sloppy drunk, TRAVELING IN A PANDEMIC, and your fucking with bitchs that are uglier than me so... I know my worth now. bye hoe

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for living so far away. I'm sorry for never meeting you. Maybe if we had met each other in real life we could've worked out. You never know. I am glad you are in a happy stable relationship now. We weren't right for each other despite what cjs thinks. She still says that I was my happiest while I was with you. Sometimes I think about what would've happened if we never broke up and we met each other. I think physically being together would've changed something but how would I know. I'm sorry you met me honestly. I had so many issues and I wasn't even a good person. I'm glad you're happy now.

I wish there was a way to tell you how much you broke me. I cried for weeks. You broke up with me and I called cjs sobbing. I had never loved anyone else. But you didn't want me anymore. I'm glad you did what was best for you. You are now happy with her. But I'm more scared now than ever to flirt or talk to anyone who might care. I'm scared of being broken again. I'm talking to this guy right now who has an amazing personality but I can't think about pursuing it without hurting because of you. You. Were perfect. You knew how to make me feel better when I didn't think no one else could. I know you did love me but I wish I knew why you stopped. I wish I knew what I did wrong. But you're happy and that's all that I care about. I wish you the best. Goodbye Jack.

I really care about you and just want you to be happy. I just wanted to be the one who was there for you.

im starting to think you're never gonna reach out. we only knew eachother for a short time, but i really liked you. im pretty sure you're my twin flame, but im starting to doubt everything now. i feel like u have so many options, do you even think about me? i like to think you do, but truth be told wouldn't you have texted me back? maybe im just delusional, but i miss you. im about to let go though....

I still think about you sometimes. A lot actually. Which is weird. I like to think its because you think about me too. Not sure if it's true, but its toxic and comforting. But its time to be done, please. You're the only person that's ever done this to me and idk how to handle it. I feel creepy and insane and pathetic for missing someone who most likely doesn't even think about me. Let me be. Please.

You hurt me so much I'm numb to emotion, the world, everything because of you. You manipulated me into sending because I thought we had something just to find out you have been talking to your other hoes. I hope you are happy now tho

i saw you in maths and had an anxiety attack. you used to hold me through them. now seeing you gives me them

i wish you would see the playlist i made for you, but you don't listen to music as much as you used to. i hope you're okay

Hi. Haven't heard from you. I miss you. my heart aches at the thought of you. i'm so happy you got your dream job. cheering you on from the outside. I love you.

my dad told me he texted you out of his respect for u and he said u never responded. shows the kinda man you are. glad we’re done

i really do think i loved you. for what i knew love to be at the time. i get it. you didn’t feel the same but i will always remember you and think of you fondly even though you broke my heart

Espero que estés bien, luego que dejaste de ir colegio nadie sabía por qué de la nada desapareciste, me gustabas mucho y ahora solo estás en mi memoria

You broke my perception of love at the age of 15. I can’t forgive you for that. you broke me before i was finished being built.

how could you let me fall in love with you while you had a girlfriend. you were just bored and i was convenient.

I would go through all of the pain in the relationship again, just to relive our happy moments again.

i don’t understand why every part of my being still aches without you. ive spent longer without you than i was with you. i think it’s because of the stability you had.. a solid family, an education you were always working to improve, the most beautiful hobbies, goals and dreams. with you i didnt have to sacrifice any part of me to make you happy. you saw every fall and accepted it. i hope shes keeping you on your toes and occasionally giving you some sass. i know you like that in a girl. thank you for being my first love.

i’ve never felt like this about someone else. ik we really could’ve made this work, maybe one day i’ll see you again. that’s all.

the loneliest feeling in the world was not speaking to each other at all after talking to you 24/7, every day, and trying not to meet your eyes while pretending I never knew you when, in fact, I knew everything about you.

I’m sorry i wasn't stable enough to love you but as i got older I realized you never loved me. You are happy now i just hope life brings us back together

and after all this time, it’s still your open arms i want to run into when things get tough. no one knows me like you.

You absolutely destroyed me yet I still love you... it’s been a year and I still can’t get over you... and I doubt I ever will.

i convinced myself all we had was platonic, but when you touched my hand i felt like i was being electrocuted
i really like you
i wish we talked more

I think part of me is scared im never going to fall in love with someone as much as I fell in love with you. another part of me doest want to. is it just me, I know I probably don't even cross your mind anymore.

come back loser please just come back. all it would take is a call. I don't think you understand I cant fall out of love the way you did, some part of me cant stop holding on. please. The worst part is I don't even know you anymore, I only know the version of you that I made up in my head. Just please don't let the last time we spoke be it for us. I miss you.

I cant turn back time, but i can be better. I'm getting better for you. I broke my heart for your well being. come back.

i never actually loved u. im sorry for lying to u. again and again. im working on it. it doesnt feel real. i cant even remember your favorite color.

You are an asshole but you made me feel happier in 1 month than I ever was. It sucks that I still think of you sometimes even though you left. I guess it's also kind of my fault... Anyways fuck you imy

you can’t fall out of true love, it was never there in the first place. you lied to me every time you told me you loved me

it's been so long. i thought I was ok and over u, even though I'll always care about u, but seeing u with someone else makes my heart ache and my chest sink. it is the worst feeling to know that I was wrong and it hurts so much

I don't know if I'm sad because I still care abt u or whether its because you've moved on and I'm still stuck here in the same place u left me

i’m so scared that i will never love someone the way i loved you, you are who i look for in everyone else

i was only 11 when you stole my childhood, you broke down me to my lowest; but you’ll never hurt who i am today.

Hey, Its me again. I'm so deeply in love with you, but you don't feel the same... anyways i'll be fine