Unsent messages to JACK

I wish I could tell my 15 year old self not to fall for you, if only to avoid the pain of you leaving three years later.

i love you but i don’t think you love me. you tell me you do but it doesn’t seem like you do. you look happier with abi but i know she would never do that too me. you were my best friend and still are so i hope this doesn’t ruin everything. the day you asked me to be your girlfriend i was so happy it was unbelievable. for the first time in months i was actually happy. and that day we were sat together cuddling on the swings. you made me feel safe. like finally someone loved me, but now i don’t know. i miss you ?

all i want to do every second, of every minute, of every day, is to look at your effervescent face as you scream the lyrics to every song.

did I ever tell you that I wanted something more? I loved you, I still do, and I will forever. I know you don't feel the same.

You broke me. I feel shattered. I don’t know why but my heart still cares for you even though you chose someone else over everything we had. I just don’t understand how something so strong and so right could mean absolutely nothing to you. I want to be released from this torment I face. You don’t deserve me or any tear I shed. Goodbye, forever.

It would’ve been 1 year today. That’s all I wanted plus many more years. Still love you a ‘lottle’, forever.

i think im falling in love with you as stupid as that sounds. ive told you things no one else knows and i trust you with my whole heart, i just wish i could make you feel the way you make me feel. please hang in there, i promise it will all be okay

i know we never dated but you made me realize i'm deserving of love, you'll always have a place in my heart, take care

i wonder if you ever think of me. if so, i wonder what emotions come with the thought of me. when i was with you i felt alive. i felt safe. i never doubted love. ever since you i havent felt the same. i havent been in love and i most definitely havent felt safe. as much as it hurts, because of you i know true love does exist. i hope she gives you everything i couldnt. im sorry i was sad all the time. i wish i could show you now that i dont want to be sad all the time. i barely remember the sound of your voice, or how fucking warm those hugs were. i wish you knew who i am now. i think youd like this version of me. i hope college is treating you well. i’ll forever be proud of you. i hope one day i can say some of this to your face but i know that’s probably not gonna happen. all the best wishes for you in life.

Thank you... You're an absolute sweetheart and I hope you find someone that makes you happy even if that person isn't me

maybe there's a lesson to be learned, but that won't give me back the time wasted or erase the scars you left

I wonder if you're avoiding me because you're afraid of falling in love or if you just really aren't into me

i wish i didn't think about you still. i hope you're okay. i'm figuring it out and hoping that one day you won't be so loud in my memories.

i know so much about you yet i feel like you never took the time to get to know me. you have hurt me so bad and yet i will never be able to let you go. how can us being together be one of the worst things for me and yet i couldnt imagine my life without you in it. btw yellow is my favourite colour too.
i love you,
s

You’re love was so gentle and thoughtful, yet you somehow still broke a piece of me when you left. I though you were the on

why did you have to get so close to me and then suddenly just leave? why did you act different when you were with your friends? have you ever even cared about me at all?

i’m sorry i wasn’t good enough for you but i hope the person who ends up with you knows how lucky they are

you know i can’t think of the word lovely without thinking of you? i hope you are well. let’s talk again, please.

sorry things have been kinda weird lately, i care ab u so much and i’m not always the best at showing it in a non toxic way, lyfaa

I knew you didn't love me but you led me to believe it, and then u just completely threw me away within minutes.

i know we aren’t supposed to be together but you are a beautiful soul and just know i love talking to you and i wanna be best friends :(

Ive waited for you for so long- I can’t do this anymore. I still care about you, but I have to let go.

we both knew i deserved so much better. why couldn’t you have been better? why did i let you hurt me so many times?

thank you for loving me like this. for giving me a sense of protective love I've never had before. for quite a while i believed i couldn't love and that i was unlovable, but you keep melting these layers of ice. you are the first person I've felt this much warmth from.

if i would've picked up your call, it would've been the first time i'd heard your voice in 5 1/2 months. but i cannot allow you to live in my mind anymore. let me go.

I don't understand how you could use me and then break me so easily when I knew you would from the first day that I met you

I wish that we were still friends today. You always made me smile and laugh. I regret what i did. I miss you.

Do you miss me even at least a tiny after you liked me for 7 months then moved on with someone else now I miss you.?
Those 6 months couldn’t have just left like that, right?

fuck you. you were the blessing in disguise. thank you for breaking my heart, i wouldnt have been able to find my purpose otherwise

You left him after ages, years after I told you I loved you. And even though we’re older now, I think I’ll always be a little bit in love with you.

you have helped me through a lot even tho you definitely dont care. thanks for putting up with me for 160 days

you were the nicest and cutest and i say i don’t like you but on the inside ill always like you and remember you

everytime we take a picture after the game it makes me feel important and popular in our school for a second.

I don’t know what hurts more you hurting me and breaking my heart or me going back over and over again because I love you

i hope you aren't gone from my life forever. you made me feel things i never had before. don't forget me

I really like you I just wish you would like me I’m sorry I never talked to you I’m just awkward I like you still so talk to me:)

What was the point even meeting you. What is the point of you always somehow coming back into my life.

What was the point even meeting you. What is the point of you always somehow coming back into my life.

Why me? You watched me give all I had to you, you took everything from me...and then left as if I am nothing

We used to be something amazing. I can’t describe how much I miss how you made me feel.I hope your doing ok. But we can’t be friends we’ve tried it never ends well. I hope your doing ok.

you hurt me so bad. but i wouldn’t trade the time we spent together for anything in the world. i thought we were going to get married. but life isn’t so kind.

My biggest fear is losing you. I never thought I would fall this hard and I am terrified of what the future holds.

no matter how many relationships i'm in or how long its been since we were a thing, i don't think i'll ever get over you. even if you never know it, i'll always have feelings for you. and i've accepted that. sometimes i think that if we ever got together, we would last a long time. but i guess we'll never find out. i found someone else, and i'm happy with him, but you are still in the back of my mind. it gets me thinking, what if? anyways, im glad we are friends.

I wish you new how much I miss you still even after 7 months I still love you and miss you and well I know Don’t care you made it very clear to me a few months back And well it is what it is I just wish I could hug you one last time and get one more forehead kiss from you and go back to our freshman you so I can relive all those memories with you again, I’m always gonna remember all those memories And love you and miss you even though you broke me in the worst way you can break a girls heart. But I still thank you for being apart of my life even if it was only for half a year I thank you for all those memories and all those “I love you’s” you will always have a special place in my heart like I promised

We're too far past hello. I've thought for ages how sorry I was that I hurt you by moving on. But realistically, I knew if I waited then we could never pick up from where we left off. Deep down, I knew how hurt I was, how little time you made for me - to this day I still don't understand why. I'd lie in bed at night and wonder why the hell we couldn't spend every day, hour, moment together. Because I fucking loved you. Too much. Something makes me feel like I always will. Now that feelings moved onto, why won't you move on as if that's something I should care about. Perhaps, I just want you to feel as happy as I am. Then I could say hello without forgetting that once we were best friends not just another relationship.

I’ll always have feelings for you. We should have never happened I knew you didn’t want what I wanted. I just wish we could still be friends but I know we aren’t able to do that and it upsets me so much. You told me you didn’t know until something ended if it was lust or love... I think that’s wrong.

you changed. maybe you didn't change i don't know. maybe that was always you were and i was just oblivious? you fucked me over and you know it. you told me not to worry about her and i trusted you. you always accused ME of cheating on you when you were the one who was sus with her. fuck you for making me feel like i was doing something wrong when you were the one who was switching up. also stop fucking telling people i'm crazy when you're the one who threatened to LITERALLY kill yourself if i broke up with you. just leave me alone

I dreamt about you the night we broke up. And every night after that. I dreamt about you last night too.

We have no contact anymore since you left me for her, but I still pray for you every night. I miss you a lot and I don’t think I’ll be over you for a long time, even though it’s been 3 months since you left me. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough, and I’m happy that you’re finally happy, it’s just hard for me knowing it isn’t possible for me to make you feel the way she does. I love you kid x

There has never been one person I have loved so much but hated so much at the same time until I met you