Unsent messages to JACK

God if I could just tell you how I feel but I'm scared it will ruin our friendship. Even if I did tell you and everything went well what if we fell out? It would be so awkward and again would ruin our friendship. I guess you'll never know because there is too much at stake, too much I'm not ready to give up. At least not ready to give up just yet.

I cant turn back time, but i can be better. I'm getting better for you. I broke my heart for your well being. come back.

i wish you would see the playlist i made for you, but you don't listen to music as much as you used to. i hope you're okay

i saw you in maths and had an anxiety attack. you used to hold me through them. now seeing you gives me them

I really care about you and just want you to be happy. I just wanted to be the one who was there for you.

i just want to know what you think about me right now. Do you still like me or did you completely lose all feelings for me? Because i’m still in love with you so much. I know you don’t understand that and i don’t think you’ll ever get how much i actually do love you because you rarely met me.

but that just made me long for you even more

why did you do this to me? you’re not the same person you used to be, it’s like i’m grieving you even though you’re still alive because you’re not the same person as the one who helped me when i was drunk that night. i wish you just put in more effort with me and made more memories because maybe you would have stayed, it’s not my fault you left and i know that but the way you left it feels like it is and i want to be happy for you now that you’re with her but i wish i was her so much that i just can’t bring myself to be happy for you this is all just depressing me.

i wish you would just want me back because you were all i wanted and i really thought we were meant to be.

Everything i do now is going to just remind me of you so that i’ll never be able to forget you,, especially my music.

if you somehow ever found this and read it you would think it’s cringe and that i’m over-exaggerating. but i don’t think you ever properly understood how much i loved you even if we didn’t meet a lot because you made my life had so much more meaning and now you’re gone but i’ll always love you

a year ago you made me a playlist of music that reminded you of me. i cant listen to those songs anymore.

after 2 years we finally aren’t talking in the slightest, i wish you were more responsible and maybe this coulda been something

i didn’t mean it when i said it wouldn’t work i just wanted you to tell me it could and that you loved me. i’m glad you’re happy with her now, if you ever need me i’ll be waiting for the call - the girl in love with you

You stabbed me so many times and acted like you were the one fucking bleeding every time you cheated i had to act like i didn't care because i didn't want to fight or loose you but now thats all i want, to loose you.

i fucking hate you every part of you but i hate how you try and make me hate myself but little do you know that i'll never hate myself. I really hope cheating was worth it.

Why after years do I still compare everyone to you? Why can’t I accept that you’ve moved on and I should too...? I miss you and I hope she makes you as happy as you once made me.

why did you never try but you’re trying with her? i did everything to try make us work but you just didn’t do the same all i wanted was you

?.That’s all.Your my home.My safe place.My best friend.May us last a lifetime. Please.I love you more then you imagine.

you were everything i wanted. it wasn’t until you got me to admit i loved you that you threw me out. fuck you.

i do love you i promise but youre so far away. its hard to look at him and not think about him when i see him everyday. if you were here it would be different.

you ruined my trust forever more. left with nothing but a reason you kept silent. but it’s my turn to be happy now. Fuck you for making me feel worthless.

I wish we could go back to the way it used to be. Now we have both healed, but it’s never going to be the same.

you’ve put me through hell over and over. everything i do is because of you. my whole life now revolves around the thought and longing of when you were once mine. i’ve never gotten closure and that’s the hardest part. you knowing you could come running back to me whenever you want or need to. i don’t like the fact that that’s the truth but it will never change. i love you.

I gave my all to you, I gave everything, I gave you a part of me. And when you left I lost that part of me.

I had a panic attack the other night. I put on your hoodie. It still smells like you. Guess what, it calmed me down

i wasnt ever supposed to fall for you. i was planning on coming to you whenever i needed someone. but your smile made me fall. but i hope she doesnt hurt you like the last girl.

Nobody has ever made me feel so alive, yet empty. worthless. I truly wish you well, and youll have a special place in my heart, but looking back, i cant help but hope this was the end.

i went on a date with someone and my stomach hurt so bad the entire time now i know how you felt when you were with me

i would never tell you the emotional burden i took on for you. i feel taken for granted but i am also in love with you so there's that

i go to bed every night hoping i’ll see a message from you in the morning. i miss you baby, come back please.

i like you so much but i know you’ll never like me back— if i tell you i’m going to have to let you go.

Hi! I miss you a lot and I think of you a lot. We weren't anything more than best friends and I didn't like you as anything more either but I just wish things didn't end like they did just randomly. I miss you so much! I miss our random talks about stupid shit and I miss the randoms snaps we would send each other. Now that I moved the only way to talk was online but that got cut off. It hurt knowing that I got randomly unfriended without an explanation. I love you so much and maybe I did like you as more or maybe not. I'm not even sure myself but I know that you were the most important person in my life. You made me feel comfortable during every situation. You made me laugh and smile when I felt down. You just meant the world to me and I miss you but right now I'm angry at you. Sounds crazy right? But I am. I just got randomly shut out and it hurt, it hurt a lot. Maybe one day we'll meet again and I'll get my explanation. I know i'll get over it though it might take a while. I love you Jack thank you for the memories.
-Your girl best friend/your only girl friend(your own words not mine)

I'm sorry i hurt u. I was the first girl you were ever comfortable with and I broke your heart. i shouldve been there when you were having tough times at home. i hope you are safe and finding yourself in this crazy world, and i hope your new gf is there for you for where I wasn't

I know you're probably going to get back with your ex, but thanks for being the first guy to make me feel special

you weren't even a first love. i thought you would be. but that spark that was there, burnt out faster then we thought. unless you blew it out.

I feel so scared of losing you and I never know if its because of my childhood trauma or because im not good enough for you.

you really made me realize how much better i can do. i realize how little you cared. how little you made me at the priority. honestly, i thank you because i am in the best relationship possible now and that couldn't have happened without you. never talk to me again though.

hey maybe you shouldn't initiate a relationship with someone if you're incapable of caring for them or are gonna treat them like trash when they care about you

i still think of myself the way that you thought of me, and i can honestly never thank you enough for that.

i didn't understand what you meant when you said you were doing this for me. I still think you did it for you, but nonetheless, this is the best thing you could've ever done for me. thank you. for everything. m

my first love lolz. i love talking with you, i just wish you showed at all if you loved it too. just one question, whyd you choose my best friend?

you knew that i liked you for that long but you decide to tell me once i’m in a relationship that i’m happy in. you told me you liked me for 5 months, you said that on the 16th of april, you had all that time to at least fucking tell me that you liked me but no you waited. andddd you knew i liked you too. i was two whole months into dating ****** when you told me, great timing luv. you don’t know how much that fucked with me. knowing that the person you had hella feelings for for at least 5 years now likes you. i could literally have a whole swimming pool of tears from you and you didn’t even know. you’ve liked ALL of my friends/best friends and the stupid thing is i tried to help you get with them even tho i liked you. you would make me think that you liked me and even go as far as telling me you liked me, got my hopes up, waited until i said i liked you too and then told me it was a joke.i was so sad every day when you would text me asking who i liked, i remember always thinking that you were asking me that cause you finally liked me too, but no just another one of my friends again

Holy shit you did so much for me and you made me feel special but it's fine that you left it's not like I needed someone, I didn't go and catch feelings at all, sometimes I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling wishing you still talked to me, crying because you made it so hard to fucking trust. Jesus christ fuck you, you amazing god damn person

even though we were never close, you caught my eye from day 1. I hope you remember the hair braiding, art complements and the long stares cause I sure do. this was years ago, please tell me you haven't forgotten.

everytime i saw you i got stronger feelings. you made me happy and was the best thing has happened to me.

i can hear you mumbling in your sleep on facetime you dont understand wha i would go through to make sure youre okay

i know u regret what u did.I miss you and i’m so sorry i didn’t help u i’m sorry i didn’t notice.you were my best friend and u always will be.Miss u forever

you were the best thing that happened to me this year but now you’ve left i can’t help but wonder what went wrong.

I hope we get to know each other, I mean I'm scared to make the first move and I would just love it if you started talking to me. I can't tell if you like me or not (probably not) but your always so close to me in drama and in history I have to look at the back of your head which I don't mind, I like your soft brown curls which I could run my hands through. My friends think I'm mad because especially at the moment I'm struggling and I think all boys are in to me which is wrong because as soon as someone flirts with me I'm attracted to them much more. I know we won't ever get together but I can dream. I like you...ALOT!

please talk to me I'll like that.

I can't stop thinking about you and that shows I like you and I agree. Your always on my mind and even though there's a very slim chance we'll be together I hope it works. At the moment I feel lonely and would like someone like you to just hold me...forever.

I just want it to be how it used to. I took everything for granted and I regret it so much. I will never ever leave again.

i really hate how special and wanted you made me feel, yeah we lived nowhere near each other but that didnt stop us from talking, we talked so much to the point that we both said that we liked each other and that if we maybe lived in the same place we would be something. then you just blocked me, you really have no idea how stupid that made me feel because i believed everything you said and thought you were being genuine

you were so many of my firsts but you don't deserve that place in my mind. and i hate it so much, but you'll be there forever.