Unsent messages to ETHAN

we discussed our future endlessly without the end in mind. i don't love you anymore but i miss you tremendously.

sometimes i wish that maybe i should have stopped myself from questions why you were off. maybe i shouldnt have sent that long ass paragrah, after all thats what ended things, sometimes i blame it on myself. you were getting yourself into a relationship and you didnt know how i was so, i was so sad. I wanted to be better for you, i was getting better. towards the end i could tell you were loosing intrest, "im just tired." "i havent talked to anyone today." "theres not much to talk about other than how our days went.". It was all true, but to you it was an excuse, because you were too afraid to speak up, talk it out, try harder. i atleast thought that you would tell me, i was your girlfriend. im not sure who else i would love, you were my person, someone i could joke around with. i feel like any other boy is too sensitive for that shit. i didnt know what i had til it was gone. im sorry you couldnt work it out and realise that i am worth your time.

It's been so long. Why I still think about u and spend my nights making up false scenarios about meeting u again?

Almost one year has passed...and I have never been happier. Don’t ever try to make me feel like crap again.

i’ve literally loved you forever. ever since we fucking met. and i know it’ll never happen because you’re like my brother now. but i wish i acted sooner. i was jealous of every girl. and im loosing you. as a friend. and it hurts

Do u ever think of me? Do I ever cross your mind?
Cause i think of u every night before i go to sleep - and I want to know if u do the same.

We talked every day, so when you stopped replying it was as if a little piece of me was still waiting for you

It's always been you. I miss talking to you everyday, I took it for granted. It's not the same now - it's difficult to keep a conversation going - we've drifted. I miss getting the bus with you everyday. I was so close to telling you that I liked you in back in January, but that's when you announced that you and her had started dating. It was stupid of me, but for a moment I actually thought you liked me, but I was proved wrong. Part of me thinks to just tell you all of this - what have I got to lose? But from time to time, we walk past each other and smile. I think if I told you about my feelings for you, maybe the smiles would stop. There was never an 'us' - but I wish there was.

i still love you, a lot. i keep wishing that eventually you’ll see how good we are for each other. your my person.

I love you I want to love you again but you cause me pain all the time i want to be held again kissed again but things will never be the same because of what you did

its so fun to be in love with you. but it hurts even more. you've done beautiful damage to me. you've been nice to me. and i eat evey bit of it up. your keeping me alive. thank you

I miss you. I miss how you takes to me. Made me feel better about myself. Stopped me having these hurtful thoughts about myself. Now your gone, you left me, it’s all came back but whenever you try and say hi to me, I push you away I’m sorry

when i fist met you i thought you were cute and once i knew you better i liked you more but now i know what ur really like i don't fucking care about what you think of me x

Its been 6 month and i still think about you.Ik that you are not coming back but i hope that you know that i really loved you.

i want to have our coffee "date" together. it probably won't be a date but what else do i call it. :)

if we ever drift apart (which i hope we don't) i'll come find you. i won't ever let you lose me. i'm part of you and your part of me. we may not be in love but what is love anyways.

hey its me again. i think about you ever moment of my day. it's always you. i can't wait to see you again. please go visit your friends again so i can walk past your car and you stop and we chat. i love you and care about you. please text me more. :)

if you ever see these tell me. and we'll finally get that coffee you promised. i'll even pay. and i'll tell you everything.

i doubt you'll ever see this but thank you for recomending (i'm not going to fix that spelling- we're both bad spellers you understand) me the song rise and shine. its perfect and i will forever see that song as you.

hey, i just wanna let you know. you’re still the only person that’s on my mind, even after all these months. i’m sorry i couldn’t be way you wanted. i’ll be waiting for you

You are my person and I love you more than life. Right person wrong time. I hope you realize that too.

you were who made me the happiest. you were my best friend and when i lost my friends you were there for me. i felt on top of the world when we were together, i was the happiest girl ever. you treated me the best anyone could have ever, you taught me what i wanted in a guy. i would do anything to have the feeling back that i had when we were together. i miss you more than i ever thought i could miss someone. you meant the world to me and everything i did and still do is for you. everything reminds me of you. every night i go to sleep thinking about us and how we used to be. i never got to tell you but i just want to thank for you making me feel so special.

how did you manage to make me fall for you so quick? you could shatter me and i would still let you in.

You were stuck, I showed you love and left just as quick. The worst decision I made was being there in the first place.

Where did I go wrong? We loved each other and relationship was so strong. Unless you lied... I know exactly where i wanted to live with you and what our house would look like. I knew how many kids we would have and what they would each look like, one girl with wavy brown hair and a boy with curly blonde hair. I just know they would be so cute. I was so excited to marry you but you just gave up, you fell out of love. This was your favorite color while we were together, i dont know if it still is because you never talk to me anymore. i wish i had another chance because ik exactly what i would change

you’ll never know how much i love and miss you, only if we could have a second chance, but you’ve changed

i just want to be able to talk to you somehow and someway, you make me feel something i’ve never felt before.

i miss you dude. you’re perfect and we were perfect for each other, but we’ve both moved on. i guess.

hi ethan i dont really know how to start this other than I miss you. a lot actually. and I don't know how else to tell you because you're with her now and I cant change that. shes great actually shes pretty and nice and shes a strong person. something I never could be. i know its been a long time since we have talked but I still think about you I think about you almost every day. i want to text you so bad and ask how you are. how you're day was. but I cant. and its slowly killing me. i miss you more than anything. please come back.

I should have treated you better maybe if i did you’d be here today. I miss your family and i hope the best for you all .

I should've treated you so much better maybe if I did you'd be here today. I miss your family so much. I hope the best for all of you.

I hope you’re doing well , when we went our separate ways I told myself that I would never love again . I hate you but I love you for our memories

You were only a crush, a big one. When I first saw you walk into social studies in 8 grade I got butterflies. That whole year was filled with short glances hoping you would notice me. It was all good until you started dating her. I still had feelings for you then and even in 9 grade when you dated whateva her name was. I dream of what it what it would be like to be with you. I really liked you buh ig it was for the best. Hope you’re happy

Hi boo,
You look really good in black so I wanted to do that color for this but I know your favorite is purple. Every time i see purple I think about you. I think about when we layed in the hammock and you played a 60s music playlist. We layed there listening we didnt say anything. The sun was poring through the trees holding us up. You ran your fingers across my face gently. I loved when you did that it calmed me down and made me feel special. Then you asked me when you wanted to get married. You were always so sure we would get married. Why did that change? I remember the day you asked me how long do you think we'll last? I answered I don't know I don't want to jinx it. I really thought you were asking because you wanted me to say forever. Not tell later did I piece together that you had asked me because you were talking to your ex and telling her you would end things with me. I wish you couldve seen me when I found out. Even if you had seen it I know you would care because why would you do it in the first place. I had to have one of her friends tell me. I was shaking. It hurt so bad. I wanted you to know how much it hurt and I tried to tell you but you didnt care. I wanted to confront you in your face and tell you I knew but i couldnt. I got halfway there but I couldnt do it. Matt was there though I saw him and I broke down. All I said was he cheated and he pulled me into the tightest hug. Of course you saw that and jumped to conclusions. That isnt even the worst thing youve done. I hate you. You are a horrible person so why do I wish so badly you woud change and come back to me. I want to be with you forever. You are the only person that makes me feel this way.

i think i could tell you were gonna break up with me, but i took the liberty to do it first. i didn't want to, but i knew you stopped caring. i'm sorry you don't think we could've stayed friends.

the feeling of your arms around my waist became so familiar that when you left i couldn't bring myself to hug anyone else.

Thank you for all the amazing memories and i wish we were still friends, which we sort of are but i wish we still had the friendship we had before everything happened. You're an amazing person and i had so much fun at charity ball with you.

Hey. I miss you alot and i miss the old you were you would love, laugh, and joke around with me. Forever and always...

i can't even begin to explain how much i just want to be with you. how much i just want to hold you and tell you that i love you like no other and i never want to let you go. how much i just wish we were watching the sun set listening to chasing cars and acting like the only thing that matters in this world is each other. i love you. irrevocably and undeniably i am in love with you.

I'm giving you one last chance bc im tired of putting in all the effort and not getting the same energy back. i hate how you always switch up on me so fast like you be flirting for a few weeks then the next day leave me on opened. am i really that easy to forget like that??

It feels like time flies by when we’re talking to each other. When I said that I hoped we could spend more time with each other, deep down I was wishing you would do something about it because actions speak louder than words. I want to be with you. But I’m so used to getting hurt and heartbroken by guys who have mistreated me. I’ve always dreamed of meeting the “one”, and ever since we’ve met, I had a gut feeling you were. I’m just hoping your actions would prove so. -signed a shy girl who really wants to give her crush all the love and affection he deserves

I'm sorry I didn't feel the same way. I love you so, so much, but not in that way. Just. Please, don't leave me.

I wish you would just admit you hurt me. You go from apologizing one second to acting like u did nothing the next. I hope I can finally stop going back to u just cuz it was what was comfortable.

I will always love you and hold a place for you in my heart. What did I do wrong? Ur always on my mind. I luv u

Fuck you for sexually assaulting me and then lying to everyone to make them believe that it never happened. you're a piece of shit. you dont deserve anything good in life for what you did to me and to so many other girls

why’d you have to be like everyone else?, you were all i had the only thing that kept me going. you aren’t the same no more.

For the last month everytime I hear a song that makes me think of you I put it in a playlist. There’s 117 songs in it.

Hey, how are you? How's everything going? You miss me yet. You miss the constant love and support I gave you? The amount of love I gave to you that you gave back. But then whenever life turned upside down for you, you had to do the same for me. I miss you, I'll admit that but how in the hell do I still have a crush on you?! I can't believe that after the years of us being friends you decide "Hey she's actually super cute" and then bam go and tell me you like me right before a HUGE CHANGE in your life. Like what the hell man. I loved you for so long but told myself it was just a crush, that it was just me thinking that maybe if anything happens it'll happen after I graduate. You remember our first break? When you said you would wait for me? What happened to that hun, what happened to us. What happened to you remembering that I'm scared of losing people and telling me that I wasn't going to lose you! I miss you so damn much and I can't even tell you this without the fear of scaring you away for forever. I do want to thank you though, you gave me a first relationship, a first "i love you", a first "Babe" and "Baby" for a nickname, and you gave me some hope that someday I'll be happy, a real happy. Thank you, for everything.

~We'll meet once again.

I’m sorry I got so mad, I miss you more and more everyday. I love you and thank you for being my first love.

I’m quite sure you hate me now, but can we please start talking again? As friends because I miss making memories with you