Unsent messages to ETHAN

i always come back to you and i don't know why. theres no reason for this connection but i know its there even if you don't realize it. you make me so genuinely happy without even trying. maybe your my soulmate. maybe we're always going to come back to each other at different times. idk.

i don’t think i like you, but i’ll never forgot looking over at you and thinking “damn i wanna kiss him”

i really cared about you. took you for granted at times. i feel like we could've been something amazing. you were so funny and willing to do so much for me. you hurt me though and i hurt you. and we can never re establish what we had :(

you're my best friend and i just want you to be happy. you're one of the best people i know and i don't know what i'd do without you. i love you.

you made me feel like myself again..the first boy I ever showed my true self to. You understood me and continued to treat me kindly. I wish you the best. Goodbye monkey.

i canNOT believe, after hiding my feelings for so long, i poured my heart out to u and u said "this is just bad timing" and "i dont want to ruin our friendship"

whats the point of being besties when we both know we like each other? all that accomplished was hurt feelings and being on different pages

i- i know i shouldnt have told u how i really felt about u. it has taken me a long time to get over u, but i think ive finally done it.

i still love you and i know things will never be the same but being friends hurts too bad. i wish u understood how I felt. i miss the old you so much.

I can't love anyone but you. I only want you. I wished you loved me the way I love you. I've tried giving you distance but I regret it now. I'm too shy to say but I want you to stay.

Im so glad with how far, youve came. Your such a good person to have in my life. Its a blessing that you let god into your life.

u told me i was everything u could want in a girl but didn't treat me like it. why didn't u fight for me? u didn't even give me the chance to yell at u. i at least deserved that

I look for your eyes in every person I meet, and I become paralyzed when I smell the cologne you wore I just can’t wash you out of my system

i miss u like crazy. i wish u were here. i miss the days where we could meet up whenever. i miss us. u prob moved on and forgot abt me but i havent stopped thinking abt u. i still miss u and i still want u. ik it wont work out bc u like her now. so im sending u a message here instead. just so i dont go insane from missing u.

even though i am leaving for london i will carry you with me always. please know that this has nothing to do with your father.

I miss us being friends, you being there for me, us hanging out, it ended to soon, love you and good bye.

I chose yellow because you made me happy. I'll most likely always love you, you'll just never know :)

i don't think i'll ever be over you but you deserve better than what i could give. good luck out there

Day one of not talking to you. Things just got duller. Every time my phone buzzes I get really excited thinking it’s you. It never is. I feel like the world around me just got muted and I am only hearing my thoughts. I’m trying not to cry, but it’s getting harder and harder. I really messed up.

You play such a big part in my life and I hope it stays like forever. Also Isn’t it weird how similar we are?anyways thanks for not getting bored of me yet xo

I really fell for you but then you broke my heart by sleeping with a friend of mine. I know I deserve better

You were the worst and best part of every single day of my life. You were the only one telling me you loved me and it hurt so bad to know that it could possibly all be fake. And I let you back. Its the worst part. I am so desperate for someone to love me that I will sit here and let the person that hurt me the most come back, knowing theyll hurt me again. I just don't understand. You said so much about needing me, yet you had no hesitation to do all those hurtful things to me time and time again.

i think i'll always miss you. i loved you so much and 8 years went by too fast. how can i get our good time back?

I did everything I could to make our love still be ok but I guess you never loved me like I loved you.

I don’t know what to do with this pain. Do I throw it away? But it’s the only thing that reminds me of you.

Hey I hate you. Bc you made me feel like shit. I hate that I still like you even tho what you made me hate myself for not being good enough.

i get mixed feelings now. its like i know i love u, but idk if i like u. it hurts me more and more everyday seeing u happy with my bestfriend bc deep down everyone knows it was supposed to be us

i wish u had a little bit of respect for me. we talked for almost a year but everything ended in one moment. how can u think u could just message me anytime u feel lonely. im not ur toy or ur second choice.

im so thankful: you showed me a whole new type of love. but i wish you would stop fluctuating between loving and hating me.

im so thankful: you showed me a whole new type of love. but i wish you would stop fluctuating between loving and hating me.

my heart still sinks when i hear or see your name. i stop myself from messaging you everyday. you made me feel miserable but i just can't seem to hate you. i still miss you so much and i still wish the best for you.

I miss you so much for no fucking reason I don't know why you had to play with me like that truly thought you would be different but you make me not want to put my guard down for anyone. You should've left ur insecurities w ur ex. overall I HATE you plz suck pp gn

i know you said you enjoy me as a friend but i just really wish you felt something more. i always talk about how you never know when it’s someone’s last day here, so you should always speak your mind. and right now i really wish i could, but you said we’re friends. and i don’t want to ruin that. how do i say that you’re what made me happier without sounding desperate? how do i explain that you made me want to go to school? i know you’ll never see this or know it’s me, but thank you

There was a time where I wished that I could feel the love you were trying to give me. I've given up trying to feel anything for you.

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I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough, and that I hurt you. You still mean absolutely everything to me and it’s so painful that we’re not together. I tried moving on but all it’s doing is making me hurt and miss you more. I need you Ethan.

i want to tell you how much I actually like you. this could be me, but I'm afraid you don't feel the same anymore.

i would change myself for you. i would kill myself for you. you were my everything, and you always will be. i love you, even if you hurt me. and it hurts even more knowing if by some miracle you came back, i'd be running into your arms. i love you, if only you could say the same.

I love you more than anyone and anything in this fucked up world, but I realized that I’m the person that is hurting you the most and it’s killing me the fact that I can’t give you enough happiness to archive. Should I let you go? That’s my question. I really don’t want to and I can live a life without you in it, but knowing that fact, I rather to live in misery knowing you found someone better than watching you suffer because of me. I love you.

Ugh. Did I do something? I never want lose you. You mean so much to me, as a person, a friend, and I think I really like you. But, what do you think of me? I don't think I can stop talking to you. I can't imagine my life without you because of all the laughter, joy and difference you have made in it. I wish you knew how I felt, but I don't want to ruin what we have. I have only known you for 46 days.
- Angelina Jolie

how many times do i have to fuck myself over before i realize that I'll never be enough for you. I'm always second-best, or convenient. i can't even hate you, it's not your fault that you don't love me. i want to be able to let you go. and i can't do that here, no matter how much time goes on. i tried avoiding our mutual friends, it makes me too sad to know that you've been in love with all of them except for me. i wore this color that night, do you remember? i still have the dress in my closet, and it still reminds me of you. fuck. i hope there's a day when we don't remember each other anymore, I'm pretty sure that day has already come for you.

from the bottom of my heart i love you so much still despite it hurting me . the past nearly 4 months have been hard without you . it is starting to get bad again , the sad nights , the days i dont have anything to eat, its a big struggle again. i am completely jealous of how youve moved on . its amazing how strong youve been .

Extraño verte hacer cosas graciosas, solo quería que me notaras, quería ver anime juntos, tener el lujo de decirte "Darling", quería una oportunidad de hacerme notar.

You don't deserve a message. You already know how much I hate you. What you did to me will come back to haunt you.

I hate you. I hate you for everything you've done and said to me. They know, and they know you're lying too.

Soy un chico trans, lamentablemente me da mucho miedo salir del closet por el rechazo que quizás me pueda dar mi familia, solo algunas de mis amistades saben lo que realmente soy, pero dios, me da miedo que mi familia me rechace y no acepten lo que realmente soy y como me siento cómodo :(

I have not talked to you in months, but when I do you remember everything little thing I do. I love you

I love you and I’m really not supposed to. I think about that night we spent together every day. I wish you would just tell me you feel the same

why did you have to end it after I opened up and told you about me? That hurt me so bad. So thanks for that.

I hate who you are but still love who you were. I'm sorry I pushed away but maybe it was for the best