Dear Ethan, you were my first love. The person I thought I would grow old with. The person who I thought would be there for me through everything. On my birthday card you wrote about our trust and how strong it was. And then this happened, we were together since I was thirteen. You were all I ever knew. Up until now my teenage life revolved around a boy, the one boy i thought would always be there for me when times were rough. We made long distance work for nearly two years. Then you moved back. I often think to myself, if you hadn't moved back none of this would have happened. But then i also think, if a boy who claims he loved me more then he loved himself, can sit there and say the things you said to me, maybe you didn't love me as much as you said. I guess it's just the fault in our stars. Maybe it was a case of the right person at the wrong time. But look how messy it is now. We can never go back to how we were. Your family was my family, your mum was my best friend. When we broke up i didn't just lose you, i lost a part of myself. I didn't cry much at first, I was so mad, I couldn't cry much because reality hadn’t hit me. The reality that my dreams were just that. Dreams.

I haven’t thought about you in months, but my roomates and I watched Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs today and it brought back so many happy mems;) I hope you’re doing well

Don’t tell me you were afraid of hurting her, that’s bullshit, you saw what she was doing to me, to us, yet clearly it meant nothing to you... I expected better

“I wish you wore your glasses more” buddy I don’t have glasses...I don’t even think I wore them when I knew you in person lol. I hope you’re the one that’s writing to me. We need to go have a coffee together sometime.

although we never dated, you will always be my first love. My standards are high because of you. Thank you

i miss being best friends
i miss you so fucking much
i have so much to tell you. i wish we never became more than friends and stayed best friends. you were always there for me when i needed it the most. i hope ur doing okay. i will forever have a special place in my heart for u. thank you for once being my best friend. you're going to do such great things.

No one can hold a conversation with me like you can. You were right no one will care like you did. My favorite thing about you was how intrigued you were about every little detail of my life no matter how silly. Miss you always. Forever wish it could be different.

i remember in class one day you told me to listen to a song. i think it was called buttercup. i cant find the song :(

why’d you have to be like everyone else?, you were all i had the only thing that kept me going. you aren’t the same no more.

here's the thing, I am completely and utterly in love with you. I can't say it and you won't say it. Why did we have to meet now? Why did we have to unpack this burden on ourselves?

Fuck you for sexually assaulting me and then lying to everyone to make them believe that it never happened. you're a piece of shit. you dont deserve anything good in life for what you did to me and to so many other girls

Hi. I can never tell if i miss you, or the feeling you gave me. You don't deserve me but I always feel like it's the other way around.

I miss you. You occupy my every thought. I know it sounds crazy, especially considering that we're just 'friends', but I'm so in love with you. Your eyes when you glance at me, the aroma of your hoodies, your precious smile. I love you so much Ethan. I hope you'll realize one day how much you mean to me. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS.

Telling you everything going on about me, while learning everything about you, is something I’ll miss forever. I made this end, it’s me to blame. A part of me wishes we will talk again.

I fucking love you, you made me realize my true self and i let you go im so sorry. i fucking hate myself for that im so sorry. im so fucking sorry. i love you. you are my soulmate my twin flame and i let you go. im so fucking dumb im so fucking sorry ethan. j

I waited a year for you to live up to your promises and treat me how I should be treated. That’s a year I can’t get back.

You broke me. You hurt me. You left me for her. But somehow I end up forgiving you. I still love you.

i don’t think what we had was real. it feels like i never truly knew who you were even after 9 months.

i thought i loved you. I just loved the memories. And we aren’t who we were anymore, so I’m letting go.

I wasn't upset that we broke up. I was more upset that we couldn't keep the friendship... like you said we would.

You blocked me out of nowhere and without a word. We may haven't been talking as much but I still would've been there for you if you needed me... no matter what.

We were never going to work and trust me I never expected us to, you were just my summer romance as they say but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt when you left. I am me and you are you. Sometimes, I find myself lying awake wondering if your there thinking about me too. I miss your laugh it gave me hope that for a while everything was going to be ok. You weren’t good for me at all and I knew that. That’s the issue with you and I, I only ever seem to see the good in people no matter how small.

you didn’t have to lie to me about not being aNywhEre clOse tO anYthing with her, dude :/
i thought you were better than that. n i thought you didn’t lie

I fought for you so hard, I was terrified trying to defend you to everyone. I never got mad at you and you were the only one who just wanted me to be happy and live my best self. It didn’t feel the greatest when you ignored me for almost a year, you said were still friends, but it’s not the same. I’m afraid it’ll never be the same again

if you tell me you want me, tomorrow or 10 years later, i will drop everything & everyone to be with you.

I am convinced there’s a hole in my heart that only you can fill. Do you miss me? I miss you everyday.

i told myself i didn’t love you but i did. you made me feel things i’ve never felt before. we were best friends. and then you left me. why did you leave me? what did i do? i trusted you. i was happy for the first time in a while. and then you left.

i rushed you. i fell too quickly and that scared you. we were so great together but something in you changed. your feelings changed towards me. you left and it hurts so bad.

I hate who you are but still love who you were. I'm sorry I pushed away but maybe it was for the best

gosh, um where do i begin... never did i think i'd have these feelings for you. i never thought that one night talking at a party for an underclassman would lead to this. our conversations are so deep and i catch myself smiling every time i look at you. i know we agreed to do this fwb thing and im cool with it but holy shit ethan, i have these feelings for you and i just dont understand them.....

I’m to letting go of what was once we had. I waited long enough. I should have listened when you said I deserve so much better.

You saved my life now its my turn to do something for you. My love for you runs deep but im letting go now, its what you deserve. Our souls might be the same but its just not our time. Thank you my love, you changed my whole outlook on life.

we were never together, yet you were my most important. thank you for showing me that I’m beautiful and capable.

Please keep dreaming! You will run a thousand miles, climb tall mountains, and reach for the stars. I love you❤️

today was the first cool fall day i've experienced in 2 years without you here. you were all i thought about

did u ever actually give a fuck i am in fucking pieces i hate the person i am you were all i had i just can’t do this

I wish I was your person like how you are mine. I miss you so much and I wish you could’ve loved me how you said you did.

Why don’t you text me ? I wish you would . I hope we can reconnect again and actually get to experience what we couldn’t . We were little kids at that time, we graduated hs this year and I didn’t get to see you for the last time.If you see this I hope you know it’s me .

I will always love you and hold a place for you in my heart. What did I do wrong? Ur always on my mind. I luv u

There’s so much I didn’t tell you. There’s so much I want to say. I wonder if you think of me sometimes, I wonder if we were real to you. Cause it was real to me.

i find you in those special crackers that sound like your name, and those brownie things we ate together before. And you would never will think of me in that way, I wish you would just like me. By the slim chances you see this, which is never. I want you to know, I wish you were my first kiss. I’m happiest with you, I’m myself with you. I would never trade our relationship for the world, I’m happy as friends, but a part of me wants to wake up with you. I wish I could heal your mental situation, I really do.

i thought you would understand
i told you i wasn’t ready for anything serious but you couldn’t take the hint
it’s not fair

You can keep acting like you don’t care all you want. But we both know we weren’t supposed to end up this way.

I wish you would just admit you hurt me. You go from apologizing one second to acting like u did nothing the next. I hope I can finally stop going back to u just cuz it was what was comfortable.

you are truly one of the most intelligent people I have met. I remembered the best parts of myself by loving you. thank you for believing in me, now it’s my turn to believe in you. you can get through this.

why did you have to end it after I opened up and told you about me? That hurt me so bad. So thanks for that.

You were the first person I ever fell in love with. You held my hand for the first time and taught me so much. We don't speak now but I appreciate what you've done for me.

I love you and I’m really not supposed to. I think about that night we spent together every day. I wish you would just tell me you feel the same

hi e, it’s been almost a year and i still can’t find the strength to get over you. you’ll probably never see this but i love you. you were my real first love. you made me feel whole when i had been broken for so long. you saved me. tell your dad hi for me :,)

i still play “you and me” by life house and think of the days my mom would drive u to ur house while i would lay in your lap and just admire how beautiful you were while that song would play. a smile never left my face. i never wanted those moments to end. i wish i could go back, even just for a second.