Unsent messages to YOU
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 17, 2020, 5:12 am UTC
im sorry
ive spent so long in darkness its my time to fight for my light
idk who u are but i love u anyways bc u deserve to be loved and cared about just like me
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 17, 2020, 4:15 am UTC
you made me feel like the color yellow. when you left you took that feeling from me. but I am my own yellow now.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 16, 2020, 11:48 pm UTC
those four words you said to me, on that thursday afternoon will forever sting in the back of my mind.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 16, 2020, 6:12 pm UTC
I’ll never love anyone like I loved you. My heart hurt when you left and two months later it hurts more than I thought. Your smile hurts me and I know I’ll never be the one to make you smile again.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 16, 2020, 7:38 am UTC
Go to bed silly. You have school tomorrow and you need the sleep. I love you, take better care of yourself
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 16, 2020, 2:20 am UTC
I’ve been reading the posts here hoping to find one from you. I probably never will, but that’s okay.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 15, 2020, 11:23 pm UTC
I still have feelings for you. I'm always going to have feelings for you. My heart aches because i know i can't have you.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 15, 2020, 8:00 pm UTC
i also struggle to sleep its a trauma thing apparently. id rather stay awake and experience the reality than fall asleep and have to endure the nightmares or the trauma all over again. when this happens i message you. even if you're asleep, i message you. it helps in a soothing way like just the thought of you reading those messages eventually makes me feel safe, makes me feel like maybe this time i fall asleep will be different, maybe this time will be a good dream honestly every night before i go asleep i beg to whoever's out there that i have one good dream. just one. but the only good dreams i can remember having are the ones where i saw you. now its all just. not the good good. its the bad bad. i miss you
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 15, 2020, 7:55 pm UTC
sometimes i struggle to say i love you, i struggle because i'm not used to people loving me and i know you think "everyone loves you" but its not real love. people who really love me and mean it just makes me one of two things; either so so happy or sad because im unsure if i deserve that genuine love. so i struggle to say it back because sometimes i just cant find the words. like why would you want my love? like a 'its just me' type of thing. but i do, i love you. i'll always love you. i pinky promise :)
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 15, 2020, 9:11 am UTC
I'm tired of always the one picking up the broken pieces of you, trying to piece you together just for the next guy to break you.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 15, 2020, 12:24 am UTC
Sometimes I wish you would've broken up with me instead of taking a break. We've been holding on for so long
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 14, 2020, 7:32 pm UTC
I love you still and you know it. It breaks my heart when you look through me as if the past 5 years didn’t happen. I miss the way you made me feel.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 14, 2020, 6:45 pm UTC
Please don’t leave.You’re 1323 miles away and I’ve never felt closer to anyone in my life. One day will be for us.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 13, 2020, 9:45 pm UTC
what did I do to deserve what you did to me?
i hate you.
resent you.
but miss you more than anything
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 13, 2020, 9:26 pm UTC
i dont really understand what goes on inside your mind. you say i know you but i dont. why do you act such like a piece of shit? i get it, you got your problems but that's not an excuse to treat people like shit. i fucking miss you i dont know why do i feel like this i just hate the way you make me feel please don't be rude with me
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 13, 2020, 6:57 pm UTC
I hate you. I hate how both our names start with H. I hate how your shadow still haunts me. I hate how I can't believe in love anymore. I hate how my first love will now never be special. I hate how I can't be innocent again. I hate how I have to lie about you. I hate how young we was. I hate and I don't want to. But, thank you, without this whole ordeal, I wouldn't have become the person I am today. This colour is NOT how I see love, but what i see what I had for you now. Despite everything, I can't somehow move on. Not with how you deal with this whole situation at this day and age. How you make me seem as some type of slut. The sending out a girls vagina and saying it's mine to the groupchats and to back then. I talked about you the other day. I said i don't remember that year. I don't remember what you looked like. What happened. I lied. But the thing is, nothing bad happened. But everything that did has traumatised. I act like you did something bad to me. It was my fault too. It's how this whole thing has affected me. I said it before. I want to be innocent. If I ever can love, I want to have a love like Aphmau and Aaron from Mystreet, Eiji and Ash from Banana Fish, Shouya and Shoko from A Silent Voice, and so many more. Of course, other people want a love like that too, but for me it hurts in a way that I have never felt before. Love is a big thing for me, but I have completely given up on it, I will never find what I want. It isn't about the ideal man or women, the ideal relationship or ideal love, but I'll never get to experience the love I have yearned for because of you. Because of those who were around us, because of so many other factors. But remember, you are a factor too. You took a part from me that meant so much to me. This will be unfinished, I don't know how to finish it, if anyone ever reads this, I can't finish it, despite hoe much I have forgiven, accepted into my life. It is a battle I must face on my own, the way I write is full of anger, we was extremely young, I still am, it was none of our faults apart from me should have knowing better I guess, but my feelings are still valid, I guess.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 13, 2020, 9:12 am UTC
Sometimes I wish you would cheat on me so we could break up easily and I not have to worry about you coping alone.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 13, 2020, 2:44 am UTC
him... i miss you so much and you don’t even know. we broke up 5 year ago and i’m still in love with you. i don’t want to date u again. not yet. i truly believe that u were the one. i miss you. i miss going up to you and asking for huggies and then us hugging. i miss u doing literally anything i wanted even if it was the stupidest thing. lol ily
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 12, 2020, 10:18 pm UTC
We said it wasn't goodbye forever, but how fucking long is this gonna last. We're strangers at this point.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 11, 2020, 8:50 pm UTC
Which pain do I deal with first? My family or the fact that you're telling me there is a KID?? My brain can't absorb this information. I can't, I can't, I can't. Do you have any idea what a huge risk to my mind this scam was?
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 11, 2020, 7:00 pm UTC
Sometimes you expect a lot from someone because you’d do that much for them.
But they disappoint you again.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 11, 2020, 4:35 pm UTC
I’ve never been this vulnerable before. You’ve become my safety net and I’m scared for what comes when you leave
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 11, 2020, 3:18 am UTC
what the fuck are you doing with your life? hurry up and fucking live it and drop everyone who doesn't let you.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 10, 2020, 9:15 pm UTC
ti ho voluto in modo viscerale,senza bisogno di frasi o numeri,se mai ti dovessi sentire solo,chiedimi di parlare di te,sarò una bugiarda perchè ti ho solo immaginato,ma probabilmente ti farò sorridere come un tempo
miss u
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 10, 2020, 9:08 pm UTC
you were my first best friend and the first person I ever loved,
beyond my family
I’ll only fall in love with someone with your perfume and your expressions
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 9, 2020, 11:43 am UTC
at least after you broke me and left me in pieces, i now know that i deserve better than what you put me through.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 8, 2020, 9:07 pm UTC
Please never leave.You’re 1323.29 miles away and I’ve never felt closer to anyone in my life.
One day will be for us
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 8, 2020, 8:09 pm UTC
i miss you but all i really care about is your happiness. & you seem happier with her so ig i’m fine with that. i
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 8, 2020, 4:13 pm UTC
We would have been great together, you know it too, and I kinda hate you for never trying with me. I'll keep on loving you forever, I will never forget you.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 8, 2020, 2:09 am UTC
i wonder if you look at these messages searching for one from me, as i look for messages from you. deep down i probably know that you won't ever read these messages, or even search for messages from me. sometimes i wish you'd text me out of the blue saying you'd wanna talk again. sometimes i wanna do that, but im always scared to. i've made a lot of mistakes and im learning from each and every one of them. I always hope that you're doing okay.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 7, 2020, 11:15 pm UTC
I wish I would’ve kissed you that night in your car. Then I at least could have the memory of your lips on mine.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 7, 2020, 10:41 pm UTC
I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I could stop liking you and I wish I wish it was still like that for you too
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 7, 2020, 8:34 pm UTC
please come find me, i need you the most right now i'm so lost and i feel so alone. I'm so close to giving up.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 7, 2020, 5:52 am UTC
sometimes I think about how I used to wait for you after class even if I knew you weren't coming anymore. It makes me sad and I probably looked like a fool standing there for so long, but I understand why you stopped coming. I kinda wish you told me the first time you weren't coming, maybe it wouldn't have been so sad.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 7, 2020, 2:56 am UTC
I wish I never went to that party. I wish we never played those games. I wish I never told u how I felt.
From: ABC
To: You
Date: September 6, 2020, 9:28 pm UTC
Please never leave.
You’re 1323.29 miles away and I’ve never felt closer to anyone in my life. One day will be for us.
