i also struggle to sleep its a trauma thing apparently. id rather stay awake and experience the reality than fall asleep and have to endure the nightmares or the trauma all over again. when this happens i message you. even if you're asleep, i message you. it helps in a soothing way like just the thought of you reading those messages eventually makes me feel safe, makes me feel like maybe this time i fall asleep will be different, maybe this time will be a good dream honestly every night before i go asleep i beg to whoever's out there that i have one good dream. just one. but the only good dreams i can remember having are the ones where i saw you. now its all just. not the good good. its the bad bad. i miss you