Unsent messages to R

I would've never let you go and yet you did it so easily. I'm still learning how to live without you.

i will never understand why i wasn’t good enough. i loved you more than anything. how could you leave me so easily?

Now I know no matter how hard I try, I'll never stop wanting you. And you never wanted me even when you said you did.

i wish we could be more than friends. you make me so happy and you have nothing but kindness in you. i wish you only happiness for your future.

What hurt the most was that you were okay with us becoming strangers after everything we went through.

I can't believe I spent three years of my life hoping that things would work out with you. Thank god they didn't.

We met when we were kids. I loved you the moment I met you.
I’m glad you’re happy now.
I’ll love you always.

I love you.
I hate myself for loving you but
I do. But I’m not a second choice. Maybe in another life?

I love you And I wish I would have told you that sooner and now everythings messed Up and Wish That I could Just have been brave and told You Its been 5 years now and I cant stop thinking about you Not one text or call but I am there thinking about you!?

i tried to tell you i wanted to kill myself. you said you were busy with your friends at Kroger. i needed you.

do you convince her too that the only love she’s worthy of is physical? does she understand now? i wish i did.

you’re reaching for any part of me in her and everyone can see it. you know you won’t find what you’re looking for

break up with her.
break up with her.
break up with her.
break up with her.
break up with her.
please.

you were too much hate for a heart like mine, thank u for helping me find my worth while tearing me down

you invited me to choose colour of paired bracelets. I took pink one, although I hate pink, as well as you.

I love you so much. Enough to be willing to keep you in my life as a friend then lose you to a breakup.

i wish you’d have told me why you left me. you caused me so much pain and many sleepless nights not knowing what i’d done wrong. fuck you.

i miss you so much,but not this version of you. i want my r back, not whoevers this is, i want the real you, even after everything id take you back in a heartbeat, i miss you

I can't say if I ever did love you, but I think what I felt was pretty close to it. you were all I could see, you really lit up everything, but one day you didn't and I couldn't understand why at the time, but now I know, and I'm sorry. thank you for everything you did for me, for the kind words and the many many jokes, just thank you. I'm so grateful that out of everyone in this world, I got to meet you and spend time with you. I hope whoever you end up with treats you well and is able to see what an amazing person you are.

Why did you stop trying. If you loved me then why wasn’t it enough for me to be a priority. Was it my fault?

I deleted your number 3 years ago to avoid temptation - I’m still regretting it to this day. Hope you’re okay. M

ik i deserved better but i really wanted you to change for me and it hurts to see you do that for somebody else.

I wish I tried better to make you happy and show I loved you. I guess I was just scared you would get annoyed with me, and that's what drove you away.

ur manipulativeness makes me feel heartbroken but in some way I also feel seen by you. you'd have to see me to be able to treat me like shit, right?

All those years i was oblivious to it, but it was always you. I guess i'm glad i didn't realize it until after you were out of my life; it would've hurt too much back then. Thank you for everything.

you were the first girl I properly loved and fell for. I'm scared to tell you because you are my best friend and I don't want to lose you. watching you with other people breaks me but nothing beats seeing you happy.

i love you more than i love myself, but the more you control me, the more i start to love myself more than i love you...

Sometimes I wonder what you think about me, and if you’re still in love with me like you were
in April. I hope you are.

what i don't get is how you can invest so much time in something but say you don't want to commit to anything

remember when we went to home depot to pick out paint samples? you said this color was your favorite.

just because i still talk to you doesn’t make what you put me through for a year of my life okay.

i just don't wanna let the good parts go.

i will wait for you, but not forever. time always comes with a price, and this time i pay with my clarity. there’s only so much time before things are blurry again.

I like eating the starbucks blueberry muffin because of you. Did I ever tell you that? You used to get them when we studied there bc you'd feel bad that we sometimes didn't buy any drinks. I stopped going to starbucks and the library to study. It just wasn't the same without you anymore.

you're so precious and beautiful. you never deserved all the hurt and pain life has thrown at you. one day i hope that you allow yourself to accept the love that you deserve and so much more.

How could you say you don't want to commit to anything after you'd been staying committed to talking for months during a global pandemic?

i thought i finally moved past the hurt until you walked past me and time slowed down when we locked eyes.

I love that I am no longer in love with you, and after finding myself it’s made me realise I probably never was.

i tell people i don’t regret you for what you taught me but sometimes idk if that’s true. was it worth it? idk.