Unsent messages to MICHAEL

im so in love w you its unreal. you have made me feel things i never thought possible for me to feel. thank you for everything. weve both grown so much together mentally and physically. i would not change a thing for the world.

Hey michael, sabes te extraño, y quisiera que todo vuelva como antes sabes, quiero que seas de nuevo mi mejor amigo... Realmente quisiera que todo vuelva a la normalidad..

I cherish you and would not have wanted someone else to be my first love. I am thankful to have experienced what we did together, memories and experiences. I’ll always love you and wish for the best for you.

Michael,
After our first date I couldn't stop smiling. You gave me butterflies. I fell in love with the way you carried yourself, your laugh & your smile. I've spent the last few months trying to get over you. Maybe it wasn't the right time and I'm trying to come to terms with that. I miss you

I remember the day we met, freshman year math class and you sat behind me and it sounds like a cliche but from that moment I thought you were the one. We were best friends for 3 years before I finally asked you out and it was the best thing I ever did but, the worst was letting you go I should have known I would ruin it and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be enough for myself and thought it meant I wasn't enough for you. You were more that enough for me and I'm sorry if I ever made you think differently, I'm sorry I broke your heart I broke mine too, but thats what I do I fuck things up and I wouldn't let you fix it and now here I am 7 years from the day we met and 3 years from the day I broke both of our hearts. Just know that I will love for always and forever my love.

I hope we never cross paths again. I wish you knew I truly loved you, but I had to do what I did for my safety. I really meant it when I said I hope you never lay your hands on another woman again. No one deserves that level of physical and emotional pain. I only wish you healing, love, and peace. As painful as it is, a part of me will always have love for you.

You're one of the most stubborn people I have ever met but you will never be as stubborn as me. I'm sorry I was selfish and didn't put you first. I was the toxic and manipulative one and I didn't deserve your time and energy. It still hurts to talk about you and I'm scared to let go. I know I can't ever get you back because I'm an immature piece of shit but I want you to know I will always love you and I wish I could've done more for you.

I'm so sorry. You were right about everything. I'm an attention whore and I'm impatient and I'm stupid and I'm so sorry but I don't know what's wrong with me. I shouldn't have been so quick to judge when I've got so much shit to work on. I'm more manipulative and toxic than you and I'm so sorry I can't believe I've put you through so much shit this month. You deserve someone better who's patient and kind and will devote all their time to you. I'm sorry I couldn't give you everything you needed. I'm selfish and I can't see past my own needs.

I'm glad you were the first but I'm scared you'll be the last. I'm scared I'll never be able to get over you because I still love you but I don't want you. I'm sorry for making such a big deal out of everything. I'm stupid and immature and I don't know how to handle my emotions. It's not fair to you and I'm sorry I have to put you through so much shit. Like you said, I'm an attention whore.

I'm sorry for being immature but I deserved better. I understand I made mistakes too but I can't forget yours. You put me through so much stress and I couldn't sleep because I was with you. Now I can't sleep because I'm not with you and I'm sorry for being so indecisive and I'm sorry I ended things. I think about you everyday and wonder if I made the right decision. I think it was just the wrong time. But then again, you had so long to get it right and you never did. You used to be so devoting and then you turned into this monster and I cried when you would touch me. You changed and I miss the old you. I miss all the memories and the pictures. It's frustrating because the only memories I have of you are the happy pictures we took and it makes me question everything. I know there were so many bad memories that ended up outweighing the good but I can't but miss you and regret nearly everything I said to you. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I still love you but I don't want you.

i have the urge to apologize to you everytime i think of you, but you disregard every word i say. nothing would matter if it came from my mouth.

you made me think i wasn't enough because you got hurt. i wish we never had that kiss in the first place

I lowered my standards for you.Never again, thank you for everything.I was 2 good for u & I deserve better.

You hurt me so much, you have no idea. speaking to another girl 3 weeks before you broke up with me, seriously? you have no idea how much you have ruined me. you told me how to c*t properly, and that it was ok for me to do that. you told me so many times you were comitting, giving me serious anxiety and seperation issues when actually you would just go to sleep. You're a prick!

if you are writing these for me, can you please just text me? i miss you. i have so much to tell you. i love you so fucking much even though you hurt me. please just come back. anytime something interesting or sad happens i want to tell you but i know i probably could but it would be weird, so be the bigger person and text me. i’m shy ??

I’m sorry that I can’t give you a straight answer. I keep saying give it time but who knows if I need time or I’m just scared of a relationship. The thing is I need to know myself before I give my all to you

It’s been 5 years now and I just wanna say that I meant to say yes, god yes but no slipped out instead. I’m sorry.

from the day i met you i knew you were special. i cannot imagine my life without you. you make the bad days easier and the easier days better. don't you dare leave me.

i knew you’d fall into her trap, every guy did. i can’t believe i was dumb enough to think you were different.

i texted you yesterday. you didn't answer. i really thought you would. part of me still thinks we're soulmates. i hope you're doing good.

You told me so many times that you loved me and I never could tell you this. Many months after u still was a great friend but I think that I'm still in love with u and I can't tell u this but I had really loved you. And I still love you but I know its too late for us.

I don't think I really loved you but that doesn't mean you didn't totally fuck me over anyways. It would've been so much easier if you'd just told me the truth from the beginning. I think I'm over it now, though, but I still don't wanna say anything to your face because I don't want to ruin things. I'm not mad anymore, I was for a while, but it was mostly just hurt. I'm glad we're still friends, and I'm glad we're happy now.

i kept pushing for something that wasn't there and im sorry.... part of me knows and the other part of me is in denial.

I still remember when you told me that I was on my own again. I couldn't forget how the tears ran down my face. I also couldn't forget the blue eyes and cute smile. Now I feel better that I've moved on from someone who couldn't figure out if they wanted me :)

We vibe so well. we’re so alike. it kills me i cant have you rn, but i pray to god every night it changes cause i think im in love with you.

Sé que lo nuestro no funcionó,pero ¡vaya!que feliz me siento de haberme enamorado de verdad de ti, nuestro momento no fue el correcto :( pero siempre te llevare en mi corazón por haberme sentir emociones únicas. Te amare siempre:'D

you’re the person i will always choose over and over again. i love you so much but no one ever understands why. what did i do to you to deserve what you’ve done?

you saw me as an object... something to use for your satisfaction and then once done... you were gone in a blink of an eye.

I really miss you. You took a piece of me when you left. I love you and you will always have a special place in my heart

Do you truly talk to me because of my personality? Or are you my friend just for my body? I wish you never told some of the thing you did. It’s forever hurt me.

i miss you a lot. everything reminds me of you and it sucks because now and then i see you and the most we'll do is pass by each other and smile. but i know that you're happy with your girlfriend and she's an absolutely amazing person which makes me happy because you deserve the absolute best. sometimes i wonder if you ever had feelings for me the way i had them for you. there were these little moments that i never seem to forget. especially your hugs, your smiles, your laughs, and most of all your pure genuine eyes that gave me butterflies everytime i looked at them. i dont know how long its going to take me to get over you but I hope that it doesn't take forever because this hurts too much to still hold on to something that we never even had

god I got too attached to you but man, I really cared about you. you made me look like a fool when I was the one defending your name when people said you were a shitty guy and blah blah blah

why, Michael?
why... why things had to end up like this?
I don't need you anymore. I don't need you but I still want you. I do. I fucking do.

Thank you for the time we had together, I will never forget how I felt when we talked. I'm sorry things didn't work out with us but I think the time we had together was meant to be, but not the forever we dreamed of. I'm sorry to say but you were not good for me at all. I know you still want to be friends but I don't think its going to work out between us. Im different now.

hey i know its been a bit over a year, but do you ever miss me? do you ever hear my name and miss me? i know we didn't have much going on and it only lasted a few months, but I miss you. i really did like you even if it seemed like i didn't, i know we didn't get to hang out besides school functions etc and that's my fault. I was too nervous to go and whenever you asked it was a bad day for me. I wasn't leading you on, i thought maybe one day we could work. Im forever thankful for knowing you. (this color reminds me of you)

i love you, i cant think you´re somebady else.
i cant see the pictures together in my phone becuse hurts so much.
please come back.

PT.2
I dont think i will ever forget bout you, you made me to lose trust but to understand, I miss you, and it hurts like hell when we don't talk, I'm still in love with you and holding on, maybe because I cant move on...I- i don't know what to do

I never knew losing you would hurt so bad, I knew we could work, but we just couldn't, I wanted us to be that couple that struggled with 1000 miles of hurt and still pulled through and made our dreams happen...

Your smile is the most contagious thing I can’t imagine going a day without it, but can’t go one more with it I can’t stand being friends with someone I like so much.

i still love you but it’s time for me to realise i love who i thought you were and not who you turned into

i really thought i’d be single forever because i didn’t think i’d ever fall in love. but.. you showed me what love is. i think about our time together frequently. i miss you every day. i still have hope we can be together if it’s meant to be in the future. but if not.. i wish you the best. i hope we can be in each other’s lives, though, because you’re existence is one that i cannot let go of. i love you.

I miss you so much, and it was all my fault because I couldn’t open up to you when I really wanted too. :/

i always try to get over you but i can’t no matter how hard i tried cuz ik i deserve more, but i still want you deep down .

i broke things off not because i didn't love you anymore, but because i love you too much to keep on hurting you. but you're with her now so why does it matter.

i miss u...i think about u...i really wish u were still here with me i miss talking to u. i miss everything about u. i miss talking on the phone. i loved hearing ur voice. i loved waking up to ur texts... i miss u so much

I'm sorry I left you the way I did. I hope you're happy and that you find someone better for you than me.

can we ever go back to what we were last year? i miss when you used to playfully hit me, make me laugh, sit with me at lunch and tell me everything. now you like g.a, and i cant do anything about it anymore. you love her cause shes not me, right? she’s my bestfriend too, i was planning on confessing but then you confessed to her. i know she rejected you, but it still hurts knowing that im not the one you’re dreaming of.

I'm seriously so in love with you.. It's insane how much one person can mean to me. I just don't understand your actions sometimes. I think you love me one day and the next it seems different and off. I miss how everything was before. I wanna go back in time and start everything over and not make the mistake I made. People may think i'm crazy when I say it but I really do love you. I wanna build with you and grow old with you. I hope somehow you find that light in your heart to take me back.

I miss you a lot. I know that you've moved and that you're happy with her but sometimes I just wonder what could've been, and I never stop thinking about you.

you fucked me up big time, i trust no one because of you it’s been a year and i still can’t fucking move on