remember that first night when we went stargazing? i still think about it sometimes. i wonder if you do too. m.

you know what. i hate you so much. we were perfect, we were the couple everyone wanted to be. i felt so loved, i don’t feel love easily but you could express to me perfectly. it’s been a whole ass month and i still can’t over the fact that the last time i’ll ever get to hold you hand was in the back of my jeep. the last time i’ll have your arm around me i didn’t care enough to appreciate it. i was so happy. you made me so happy. i’ve been so shitty i completely lied today. i stopped eating, i can barley sleep without my body pillow being you and i can’t stop comparing your blue eyes to his. he’s so perfect for me, he’s amazing and sweet and everything you weren’t. but i still would do anything in the world to be on you basement couch watching the office or walking to kimmers to get stuff. i’d give up anything that i could to know your still mine. i hate you nathan. i hear you in every single song, there isn’t one i can’t hear you in. even songs we didn’t listen too. did you delete your playlist? i hope you didn’t. i hope your reminded of every song we listened to together and every song that made me feel close to you. just come back.

hey buddy i don’t know if we are soulmates or not but we both know there is something weird between us. i feel like we keep doing this weird back and forth thing. so i decided that ill let it go and if you come back then it might be meant to be. but for now please live your life and accomplish big things :)

I have no idea why I never got over you. We dated for only one month and it was very insignificant but I still think about you. I know I mean literally nothing to you now and you moved on.

Thank you for everything you taught me. I’ll treasure our time together forever, even though it wasn’t meant to be

I met you in a hard moment of my life.You changed my life to better. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I love you so much. ?

are you happy with tayla? was it worth being with her while we were still dating? and on my birthday too? you deserve the world. im sorry i wasnt enough.

I remember when you said you liked me, I was scared. I was 7, you were 9, it felt odd. I liked you too at the TIME, but what have you become? You're a monster. I hope you sort yourself out soon, I sure have.

i am so eternally grateful for knowing you. life is so much more tolerable when you're a part of it. thankyou

i want to fix things, i would rather fix things over and over again with you than ever be with anyone else, im in love with you and im so sorry, i hope we can figure things out

We still talk, but it’s not the same. I miss you with every ounce of my whole being. I wanna touch you so bad. I wanna throw my arms around your neck, on your shoulders and sit on your lap. I love you so much. I wish I was better.

I love how smart you are. It was the most attractive thing about you. You were always mature in your mannerisms. I miss you.

you used to lie about everything. don't I worst to know something real about you?
i haven't seen you for 9 months. you know, you could text me or whatever. maybe the reason that I am not anybody for you, i am nothing for you?

i miss being your friend. Im still not over what happened and its been a year. I don't think you care.

Hey it's me, god where to start? you and I were talking for a bit I was scared to open up and yet I did we dated and you said you weren't going to leave me because you knew how it felt but now its been about three weeks and you haven't texted me I should be used to it before you ended things you didn't talk to me for about three weeks yet your not here and it kills me. You told my best friend you were going too love me and not break my heart yet you left because you were moving and it was stressful you don't see me complaining about my parents getting a divorce because of me or how my dad put his hands on me tramatising me and smashing my phone do you? Yet your the one who left okay yeah sure that's fine you never liked me or cared I get that thanks anyways. Love you, thanks for a good about three months of my life wasted.

Si tan solo no me hubiera alejado, no hubiera sido tan cobarde e inseguro....Sería yo él que estarías mirando con amor en tus ojos y no a él...?

I miss you. I want to text you again but I’m afraid. I want you in my life still even if it was just friends.

i dont know if you ever loved me or not , i dont know if you only liked the idea of someone loving you but now i know that i wasnt in love with you but rather in love with your words and the picture of you in my head. I spent 4 of my teen years attached to you. Maybe i was too scared not to have you as a safety blanket but you never really wanted me ever , you just didnt want me to be with anyone else , a little part of me still thinks that you were embarrassed to like me or to be seen with me. i dont know if you were really my first love .i guess ill find out in the future , all i know is you were my first attachment and you used that against me. But now i look at you and i feel nothing ,and that is the greatest relief i could ever have. You are now just my teenage love and will forever stay like that.

what is your goal here? you acted like you wanted me then switched up. i'm not playing this game again.

You ruined me. 4 years and I’m just now finding myself and loving myself again. I know what it feels like to actually be loved. I finally forgive you.

I went through so much just because you still wanted someone around to give you attention. If you just wanted a rebound why didn't you tell just me? Why did you play with my feelings like that? You are a coward.

I'm with him now but I still can't move on and I can't forget. It hurts to think how easy it is for you.

It's been almost two years now. I still think about you every day. I wish we gave it a shot. I know you didn't want to. I'm sorry.

You traumatised me. I can’t look at myself the same way. It’s been 2 years and i can’t see myself the way i used to

I don’t have the guts to talk to you about this but I really never feel like you love me. You don’t treat me like a girlfriend and I know that I’m your first but I just feel so unloved. And I still feel like my ex was the only person who ever has truly loved me. That mindset is partially my fault but it wasn’t there until you started treating me like I don’t matter to you... You not caring has caused me to feel like I have no chance at love ever again after I lost my first love. When we almost broke up I cried but like sometimes I’m confused if I should or not because I just feel so so neglected... I just want someone who loves me and doesn’t have to try to show it, they just do.

i miss you. right person, wrong time, i think. i believe we'll reconnect someday. at least, i hope we do. i wish we'd had more time.

i miss us so much and i really hope we can get close again in the future. i still love you so so much

For now we're still together. I hope we are forever. We have been through so many tough times. I hope we get through this too. I love you more than anybody in the world. I always have. I always will. I love you to the moon and back, sweetie.

I think you're my soulmate. I really do. If we break up then truly, I will never love someone again after you. Not ever. Thank you for loving me. I hope we love each other forever.

Oh how I wish i could tell you how grateful I am for you. I want to tell you just one last time. We had everything so good, and I know you genuinely loved me. Now i am regretting letting what we had go. You were the best thing to happen to me. i love you still

i wish we could’ve gotten a real goodbye. Or never had one at all honestly. I was so so immature . I’m so sorry . You deserved so much better than that. Up until I had met you, I had never known what ‘real love’ felt like, and when we got so close , it scared me . I pushed you away. I didn’t know how to react , and when you were going to leave that scared me even more because I didn’t want anything to change. I loved what we had, you were so perfect. I was scared to ruin that and I did what I used to do best and I pushed you away. I’m so so sorry, it was so selfish of me to do. I like to think i’ve grown a lot since then, but that’s still no excuse for how i treated you. nothing can ever excuse that. i still read that letter you gave me on my birthday lol! and i always love to look at that little fork guy, and the cool ass bracelet .I even have the polaroid of you up on my mirror still. I hope that isn’t weird , i just. like to remind myself of one of the most perfect years of my life. i love you , always! Malyssa told me your new girlfriend is pretty ;)))) You seem so so happy :,) Miss you. Hope you’re doing super well !! Also i’m so sorry about the sweater thing , I genuinely honest to god was not home. I wouldn’t ever have done anything to spite you and I got the money to buy you a new one too just so you didn’t have to worry about the stain, i’m sorry .

i was so in love with you. it’s been years but if you asked me i would leave everything, everyone just to see you one more time. i know you don’t think of me, but i still love you.

you were my everything, my yellow. why'd you have to do that to me, i honestly thought you were the one man..

hey I know you wont see this but I miss you every second we are a apart and I just
want you back really badly. you've never disappointed me or anything I love you more than anything please

remember our late night phone calls just listening to the rain while laying the opposite way on our beds?

we bonded. and connected. but you were never enough to fulfil me as a person. you could never withhold my true self.

I wish I could go back and time & change the past. I know we are strangers now, but I miss talking to you

you were the first guy i truly loved and trusted and you broke my heart and my soul. i miss you everyday but i know we can't go back.

hey man :) i never know how to tell you but i really like you a lot.. i hope u understand that even though i cant say it

you snuck in a year ago today. but i still remember it like it was last night. even camping right now feels weird without you and you only ever came on one trip . i apologize.

this is my formal apology please forgive me i did not mean to deceive u in this way. i hope u can understand

when were together all i can think about is you. i love being with you and i will be there for you no matter what. even though it hurts that it isnt romantically, i'll be with you til the end.

i really thought u had something and we could be a thing idk u just treated me good but maybe i was just someone to talk to for the summer bc u were bored

I MISS YOU HOLY FUCK. i don’t even care anymore to say that like i’m being so for cereal. I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss knowing you. I MISS BEING ABLE TO PICK YOU UP WITH MY MOM AND THEN GO SHOPPING AT ALDIS BECAUSE SHES A WEIRDO BUT IT WAS SO FUN JUST HAVING YOU THERE. I know I messed everything up and I know I was in the wrong, but I grew up and now all I can think about is how much I wish I could go back and be better for you. I know you’re with someone else now and I’m so so soooo fucking happy for you like from what I hear, you are happy and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, but I can’t help the fact that I miss you terribly. I don’t expect things to be the same or for us to get back together because to be honest, I don’t think that’ll ever happen just because of the circumstances of everything, but I wish we could still just be friends :/ Make fun of me for it, bash me, hate on me, it’s honestly fine and I wont say I don’t deserve it, because I do. But I really do miss you. I hope you’re happier out there than you were here, Beaumont was such a shitty place to you :( I’m sorry. You deserved the world and I really hope one day you get it. You’re still the bestest in the westest in my books :’)) Miss you.

scared for when you go off to the college and potentially losing you. you've changed my life in so many ways, i'd hate to see you gone.

As much as I love having you in my life again, and as much as I love hanging out, I guess I’m struggling to draw a line between mates and something more when it comes to you. Which is why I think I might not be able to keep this up and be just mates… and I’m really really sorry.

I didn’t sign up for this. I would have never made a sex tape if you were never going to call once you had it. You’re not as nice as you think you are.

You're not my first love but you are the first one I ever said I love you to. I really should have waited.

i can’t fucking believe you. with her too. one of my best friends. i knew i shouldn’t have trusted you.

It’s been awhile but i still think about you... i hate that it’s over forever... I still love you and always will