Unsent messages to MICHAEL

Michael you were my first experience of what it felt like to be with someone. I’m sorry for how it turned out. I know we weren’t meant to be but if we find our way back i promise to love you with all i have. I always root for you. I hope your thriving and happy. I will always love you. You were someone i will always have a place in my heart for.

Michael you were my first love... My first everything really. I still think of you at times and hope you are accomplishing everything you’ve always hoped for. I always root for you. I know we weren’t meant to be but thank you for everything you taught me. I hope you are happy and live a great life.

you were one of the most toxic people i ever met. you promised we would stay together but you broke that promise. i hate you with every inch of my body

Today would’ve been 4 years. But that would’ve been another year of not knowing what I’m capable of. Thank you for letting me go. Thank you for letting me find my strength.

stop pushing me away. whatever you do, how ever much you hurt me, i’m always here. but what hurts the most, is that i know it may not be the best option but me being selfish only wants you. i love you

I’m so glad that I met you. I hope we’re able to stay in each other’s lives forever, no matter what form that takes.

fuck. im always gnna love you. & im sorry i couldnt be enough. what you did to me was unthinkable. and still i forgave you in a minute. bc i know i love you. not a single day passed where i dont think of you. i know you hav her. you dont get how unfair that is. i dont think you ever will. im still here. i miss you like hell. please text me. i care for you still, and i will 4evr. tht was my part of the deal. you broke me. i miss you. i hope yr okay. yeah, i hope yr okay. //h

How could you tell me one day that you want to built a house with me and the next day leave me without an explanation?

You made me lose trust in men. I know all men are not bad but i am in a mind set now that makes me want to manipulate and hurt every man that comes into my life. I want to make up for what you did to me by hurting other mens feelings. What you did to me burns in my mind every time a man tries to get close to me. You as a person are not longer in my mind, but what you did to me is. It made me lose faith in all men. I hope I can get it back someday. There are so many better men out there than you and I have met plenty, but what you did to me needs healing.

Hey. I miss you. Not a day goes by where you don’t cross my mind. I will forever keep these thoughts muted. I need to let go.

"Maybe someday I'll give you my heart, as fate always knew it was yours."
This sentence is deep in my heart because you said it to me.

you saved my life and i'll always be thankful for that, even on my bad days. im sorry i'll never be able to repay you for that

I hate you but I can’t stop loving you fr , we moved our separate ways but your always on my mind ❤️?

You promised to love me forever. You promised to never leave me. You broke your promises and yet, I loved you until the very end.

I loved you. You were my first, my only love.
We got to high school and you changed, so much. The boy I once knew, the one who used to make fun of me for being short, who used to tell me all your secrets, who used to eye me in class, was replaced by another boy. I don't know who he is, he is a stranger.
I miss you so much. I know we were only in middle school, but would it be too much to say you were my true love? You were everything I had wanted, family-oriented, you loved dogs and animals as much as I did, you were you. You were Michael.
You became an unknown face, you became one with the crowd. You let popularity take over your personality, it drowned your true self in a brew of nativity and selfishness. You moved from one girl to the other, you still do.
I miss you. Every day I think about your light blue eyes. I used to look into them and feel safe.
I think about your laugh, your kind of stupid, kind of obnoxious, kind of cute laugh.
I think of the way we used to look at each other. Like we were two hopeless romantics running away from our problems by just being next to each other.
Please, Michael, when you come back, when the real you comes back, reach out. Don't hesitate. I still love you, I really do.
Love,
S.F.

The love, and bond we had is so rare. I won't feel that way with anyone else ever again in this lifetime. I need to let you go because I can't handle it anymore. I love you forever, C ?

Dear Michael, you hurt me. Actually you hurt me a lot but I don’t have the courage to tell you. What am I supposed to say that I’m so sensitive that your little jokes and shoves hurt me? I can’t do that, you’re already going through so much. Nonetheless I love you so so much and I hope you get the strength to be the best you even if we don’t end up staying friends. I’ve loved this friendship for longer than I can ever say but if you truly don’t want the friendship I hope you’ll speak up soon.. I hate feeling this way.

It never gets easier without you. I hope to find someone who makes me as happy as you made me. I miss you more than anything..

I shut you out and shut you down because you hurt me so badly but sometimes I fantasize about running into you and your mom at trader joe's, just to see you again after years have passed.

You know it kind of pisses me off that the only time you want to talk to me is when its convenient for you

I love you too much, too hard, and too cautiously. You think you understand my love for you but you don’t. It terrifies me. My heart rests in your hands.

How I wish you dint text me that day. You made me get my hopes up for nothing. Now I feel empty and I overthink too much about it. You run through my mind all day and I can’t get you out of my head even if I try to. Every action or move I make I think of you... I was happy before you came into my life, so why can’t I know be happy now that you’re out of it. I feel drained with no energy god how I wish I just dint get that single text.

I'm sorry that I don't love you back. However, I don't want you to get hurt however I feel like I am slowly. Your becoming attached, adding small hints into our conversation and constantly trying to get us together. I tried to reget you and to push you away but you keep coming and I don't know how to stop you liking me before it's too late.

i miss who i thought you were. sometimes all i do is sit and think about how things would be if everything went right.

You made me believe in love again. Sadly we didn’t last but just know I’m happy for you too but I still pray you’ll come back

thank you for breaking my heart. it made me stronger and opened my eyes. i’m much better without you.

even though you left i’ve thought about you every single day. i think about all the stupid conversations and moments we had, i’d do anything to do it again. i miss you but it’s time to let go after all these months of waiting. wish u the best.

I still think about you. I still get sad over the thought of you but the fact that you made me question my worth, when I was blind sighted by your love makes me sick. All you are is a player who has shitty game and won’t get any of the girls you want because they are all too good for you. I hope your heart feels the same break mine did over you some day.

fuck you. i could say that a thousand times, but yet i could never truly mean it. you broke me. you made me hate myself because you didn’t like me back. how come i was good enough to flirt with but not good enough to be your girlfriend? why was i good enough to lead on for 7 months but not good enough to make me yours. you made me think something was wrong with me. was it i was a little to fat? was it the freckles that covered my body? was it how i wasn’t freaky? so what did i do? i tried to changed all of that. i stopped eating meals for weeks to get skinny for you. i searched goggle for hours looking for ways to get rid of freckles. i even thought about sending you nudes so maybe i would seem more freaky. i cried for months over you, every night. long sleeves became my everyone wear because my wrists were barcodes. i have never felt so worthless until now. you destroyed me. i changed who i was. i got into smoking and drinking just to forget about you for a few hours a day. fuck you michael. fuck you.

i wish you cared more and i wish you didn’t leave the way you did. and i hate that i cant stop thinking about you.

Why did you play with me like a toy? You said you love me but... you didn't. I still do tho, that's the problem

I used to think you were my first “real” love, but now I know that what we had was never love. You hurting me wasnt love, me crying myself to sleep every night wasnt love, me begging you for anything wasnt love. So thank you for showing me what love isn’t.

If you asked, I’d join you there. 2,600 miles from all I’ve ever known because you’re all I want to know from now on.

i really couldn't tell the difference between pain and love. you're mostly dead to me but u live on in my heart.

oh boy. you probably will never see this which is great. i like you and your gonna have to deal with it. i cant change it. trust me i want to. but maybe one day u will get ur head out of ur asshole and think the same about me. but for now i guess it will be this way. #itdobehardsometimesdoe #iminpaiinnnnn

I miss you every day. I’m sorry. I miss the feeling of your arms around my waist when I’d wake up next to you. I miss sitting in your passenger seat. I miss your lips against mine. I just miss you.

You were my first crush.We met when I was 16. You celebrated my 20th with me yesterday. I wish you liked me back.

I search my name every day and search through these messages, hoping that I'll find one from you. I think I lost you a long time ago, and I just haven't been able to let go completely. I'm stuck. You left without so much as an explanation or a goodbye, and it's too late now to change what happened after. I couldn't say it the other night, but I miss you too. Much more than I should. Maybe that's wrong, but I can't help it.

i fell for the promises. the way you said my name. the way you kept me sober. the look in your eyes. i love u

i know we were meant to be it was just right person wrong time but just remember ill always love you:)

you actually were my first love and being with you helped me find out who i really was i still love you and it’s sad to see you move on so fast when i’m still stuck i hope she treats you good and gives you everything you deserve i hope she scratches your head just the way you like it and gives you a lot of affection cuz ik you love that too i love you always ❣️?

Sorry I sent you those notes with your things but you did refuse to listen when I begged you for help with them. Ur soundcloud sucks btw.

hey, how are you? something i ask myself everyday about you. its been almost a year since you decided I wasn't good enough for you. how's your new girl? did you smooth things over with your dad? did you decide on which college you want to go to? do you ever see stuff that reminds you of me? i took down the pictures on my wall, the ones we would look at while we would lay together for hours just talking about life and looking in each others eyes with tears because we were just so happy to be together. i miss you michael. come home.

You taught me one of the hardest life lessons I’ve ever had to learn. Thanks for helping me grow and mature into a better person.

thanks for always being there for me and helping me thru absolutely everything. i miss u more than u know and i wish u nothing but the best.?

What is ahead for me is there good things Coming my way will i Ever Get a job or get money and Girlfriend is luck coming my way will make more friends.

Do you remember that day we were laying in my bed and you asked me if I wanted to grow old with you? I looked at you like you were crazy but it has haunted me ever since you left

i love u more than words - u deserve nothing but all the kisses & hugs in the world bab
- lots of love,
celia

Did I ever meant anything to you? Would you have stayed if I had asked you out? Why were you so scared of being in a relationship? Did you hate me for what I did and will we ever go back to the way we were before?